Something Beautiful

by Jenna Jones

  He wanted Micah back -- and not, he told himself, for entirely selfish reasons. But more sex would be good. More sex would be just fine.

  Why wait, then? Dune thought and picked up the phone. If you want him around, tell him.

  He dialed Micah's cell phone number and tapped his fingers on his thigh as he waited through the rings. Micah's voice mail came up -- the familiar cheerful, "Micah Ferguson, please leave a message, 'cause if you don't leave a message I can't call you back!"

  "Hi, it's me," Dune said. "Look, I'm not taking back anything I said because I still believe it, but I miss you. So promise you'll come to movie night. We'll talk. I miss you a lot, Micah. Bye." He hung up the phone.

  Okay. Ball in Micah's court, decision in his hands, various other clichés -- Dune just had to wait. And if Micah didn't call back, Dune would just have to find a Plan B.

  ***

  When Micah woke up again he blinked a few times, disoriented, and then smiled and sat up. He could see a postage-stamp sized back yard through the glass door, and in the yard Rebecca was playing with the baby while Justin lounged on the grass and laughed. There was a cardboard cup of coffee on the table in front of Micah and a large blueberry muffin beside it. Micah picked up the cup, drank a sip, and winced at the cold coffee. He picked up the muffin, took it outside, and flopped down on the grass beside Justin.

  "Hey," Justin said, leaning back on his elbow.

  "Hey." Micah peeled back the paper and took a bite. "What are they playing?"

  "I think it's Airplane." He tilted his head to the side. "Or Carousel. Doesn't matter -- they're both happy."

  "Yeah."

  Justin plucked a blade of grass and wound it through his fingers. "Rebecca told me why you showed up first thing this morning. You all right with that?"

  "Yeah," Micah said and pulled up his knees. "I'm all right with that."

  "So why haven't you talked to your parents about this yet?"

  Micah glanced at him. "They don't like you because you're the wrong kind of Christian," he said. "What makes you think they'd accept this about me?"

  "The wrong kind of Christian," Justin muttered with a wry laugh. "That about sums it up right there, doesn't it? So you're afraid they won't love you because you're wrong."

  "That's about the size of it." He frowned at his muffin. "Look, I know this is what you do for a living and all that, and I'm glad you love my sister -- but I don't know you yet. And I've got to figure this out in my time, in my way. Please?"

  "Okay," Justin said gently. "I get you. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

  Micah nodded, his chin resting on his kneecap. Rebecca stopped spinning Kitty around and hunkered down on the grass with them, laughing when Kitty squealed and wiggled.

  "She wants you, sweetheart," Rebecca said, and Justin took the baby.

  "Do you want your daddy, little darlin'? Do ya?" He nuzzled the baby, and she wiggled with happiness.

  Rebecca leaned her head against Micah's shoulder and patted his cheek. "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah. I should call Mom and Dad. They probably think I'm dead in a ditch." He felt around in his pockets for his cell phone and regarded it with a sigh. He glanced at Justin and Kitty and said, "Hey, could I take a picture?"

  "Sure thing," Justin said, showing his dimple again, and held up Kitty close to his face so Micah could snap a picture with his cell phone camera.

  "Perfect," Micah said. "Thanks. You too, please?" he said to Rebecca, who laughed.

  "Sure -- do I look all right?" She combed her fingers through her hair.

  "You look perfect, darlin'," Justin said, and she smiled at him and tossed back her hair.

  "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille," she said and leaned back on her elbows.

  "Uh, sure," Micah said and snapped a picture of her. "Thanks."

  "Anytime. Are you going to go home or go back to the city?"

  "I don't know," Micah said. "If I'm going to movie night tonight I should probably just go back to the city."

  "What's movie night?"

  "A bunch of us get together and eat and watch movies. It's pretty cool. I haven't been since last spring." He leaned his chin on his hand, watching as Kitty wiggled in Justin's arms and made grabs for his hair. "Dune and I were going to look at apartments today."

  "You still could." Rebecca said, and Micah lifted his head to look at her. "You could apologize. Tell him you still want to be friends and see where it goes."

  Micah pinched off some blueberry muffin. "I'm scared, Becca. Is that dumb?"

  "No," Rebecca said. "It's human."

  Micah looked at her a moment, then threw his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her neck. "I've missed you so much. Don't ever go away again."

  "I won't, honey," she whispered, stroking his back. "I'm not going anywhere."

  Chapter Nine

  The moment Jamie opened the door, Dune had an armful of excitable Englishman: "Hi! We can't decide: should we watch the Bruce Lee first or the Wim Wenders first?"

  "Subtitles are good for early in the evening," Dune said, walking Jamie into the apartment. "We might be too drunk to read later."

  "Good point." He hopped down from Dune's arms. "Ben! Dune's here. You remember Vijay, right?" he said, and the handsome Indian fellow on the couch nodded in greeting. "And this is Duncan, my lawyer." Jamie pointed to the baby-faced man Vijay was talking to, who ducked his head a little and waved a shy hello. "Have you met? I don't think you've met. So this is Duncan. Tristan and Laird should be here soon. Where's Micah? Did you wear him out with apartment hunting? What did you bring?"

  "He is in Santa Cruz, and I brought cookies."

  "Gimme!" He took the backpack from Dune's shoulder and unzipped it. "What is he doing in Santa Cruz?"

  "Visiting his sister," Dune said in a logical tone.

  "What's Shiloh doing in Santa Cruz?" He took out the container of cookies and opened it. "Oh, Dunie, these look great." He bit into one.

  "Thanks. He's visiting Rebecca. The older one."

  "Oh," Jamie said slowly and glanced up when Ben draped himself over him and kissed his neck.

  "Hey, Dune," Ben said easily.

  "Hey," Dune said, grinning.

  "Try this," Jamie commanded and gave Ben a cookie.

  "Oo," Ben said and took a bite. "Hm..." He chewed experimentally, his expression skeptical. Dune leaned against the counter and watched his face.

  "Well?" he said finally.

  "Very good," Ben said with a nod. "Not bad for an amateur. You used cold butter this time, didn't you?"

  "Yep. I melted it last time and the cookies were too flat."

  "Wise choice, though if you use it at room temperature and whip it first it gives the cookies a great texture, too."

  "Cooking lessons with Benjie," Jamie said, grinning, and gave Ben a kiss. "How much longer until the fish is done?"

  "About ten more minutes, and then it has to rest." He patted Jamie's ass and took another cookie on his way to the living room to answer the door again.

  "So what's going on?" Jamie said in a lower voice to Dune. "Why'd he take off for Santa Cruz?"

  "Oh, what isn't happening," Dune said gloomily and ate a cookie. "Gavin showed up at Zebra last night."

  "Oh boy," Jamie said.

  "Yeah. Fortunately Micah came after his date, which is a whole other story, and he kind of -- well he threatened to put lesbian porn on Gavin's computer if he messes with me. He actually said, 'Don't fuck with my Dune.'"

  Jamie laughed out loud. "Wow. How did Gavin take it?"

  "About as you'd expect: poorly. I almost believe it when he says he wants me back."

  "You are hard to give up, love." Jamie took out a tray of vegetables and nudged the door closed with his hip.

  You did it, Dune thought, and told himself not to be bitter. Jamie and Ben were meant for each other, and he'd known that even before they did.

  "But I still don't know how Micah ended up in Santa Cruz," Jamie went o
n.

  Dune nibbled a cookie for a moment. "I think I need some milk. My mouth is dry."

  "Story first, then milk."

  "Cruel and unusual punishment." Dune made a face at him. "Micah and I had sex last night."

  Jamie did an actual double take. "What?"

  "Sex was had," Dune said. "By us. And then after, we argued."

  "That sounds like Micah."

  "Hush. He still wants to live with me, and while I do want to live with him I don't think it's time yet. He -- let's say he took umbrage with that and took off for Santa Cruz to see his sister." He shrugged. "And that's that."

  Jamie shook his head. "Madness. So now what? Have you lost your shadow?"

  "I hope not," Dune murmured. "He should be here tonight."

  "Jamie!" Ben called from the living room. "Has the timer gone off for the fish?"

  "Not yet," Jamie called back. "So what are you going to do when he gets back?" he asked Dune.

  "Snog his brains out," Dune said without hesitating. "Make him promise to never run away from me again and then shag him stupid."

  "Ah, the addiction to Micah shaggage," Jamie said woefully. "You're hopeless already."

  "When the sex is good," Dune pointed out, "you hang onto it." The timer on the oven went off, and Jamie put on oven mitts and carefully took out the pan from the oven. Dune closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of lemon and salmon. "That smells so good. I just had peanut butter for lunch -- I feel like I haven't had a real meal all weekend."

  "Thanks." Jamie set the pan down on the oven top to rest and said, "Dunie. Love. I don't think you should get too attached," with no teasing in his tone.

  "You're just saying that because it went so badly for you. But he's not a kid anymore. Maybe he's actually getting to the point where he can handle a real relationship."

  "Perhaps," Jamie said, "but are you?"

  Dune's shoulders twitched. "That's not the point."

  "It takes two to make a relationship, Dunie. Sleeping with him, living with him -- that's going to make him think you two actually have something. And if you don't --" He shrugged, opened the lid of another pan on the stove top, and sniffed the rice cooking there. "Benjie! I think this is finished."

  "And if we don't?" Dune said, crossing his arms over his chest.

  "Do you really want to be the one to break his heart?" Jamie said quietly and then grinned at Ben as he ambled back into the kitchen and looked around with approval. "I did good, right?"

  "You did good." Ben kissed the top of Jamie's head. "Tris and Laird are here, and they brought Gavin."

  "No," Dune muttered and peeked into the living room. Yes. Gavin had taken the corner of the sofa and was listening politely to Vijay, who spoke with many hand gestures and an accent as melodic and gentle as the music he played. "Maybe I should go," Dune said gloomily.

  "No," Jamie said. "Absolutely not. He's not going to scare you away from your friends."

  Dune took another look at Gavin -- smiling a little at the sight of Laird and Tristan cuddling at the other end of the couch -- and sighed. "Right. I'm going to have fun, as usual, and eat too much, as usual, and not dwell on the fact that the one person I really wanted to see tonight isn't here."

  "You could try calling him," Ben said, looking up from the fish he was garnishing with sliced lemon and dried parsley.

  "I did that already." He sighed.

  "I'm going to break out the wine," Jamie decided. "I need a drink." He called to the living room, "Tris, can you have wine, or do you want sparkling water or fruit juice instead?"

  "Fruit juice, please," she called back.

  "Fruit juice for the lady. Right-o." He poured her a glass and took it into the living room.

  Ben said, "So who's the person you really wanted to see tonight? Jamie said you and Daniel were through."

  "We are. It's Micah."

  Ben stopped plating their dinner and looked at him like he'd sprouted another head -- or lost the one he had. "Micah."

  "Jamie already lectured me about it, so I don't want to hear it from you, too."

  "No, I think you need to hear another lecture because I don't believe for a second that you want to date somebody who's still in the closet," Ben said. "Or that you'd want to date somebody who falls into bed with anybody who looks at him the right way."

  "Stop it," said Dune, frowning at him. "He doesn't do that."

  "Oh, you think? Ever asked him why Lucas left him? Ever think it had something to do with Stuart? Because I do."

  "Don't be absurd. Micah wouldn't sleep with Stuart -- he's old enough to be his father."

  "Jamie did," Ben said pointedly. "And he was still a teenager."

  "You're overreacting just because you don't like Stuart or Micah," Dune said. "Micah's grown up a lot in the last couple years."

  "I like Micah just fine. I like Stuart just fine. I don't like that both of them screwed my boyfriend over and I don't like the idea of either of them hurting more of my friends."

  "He's not going to hurt me," Dune muttered. "I just don't want him thinking we're anything more than -- than what we are."

  "Which is," Ben prompted.

  "Which is...who knows? He's a high-strung little twink and I'm..."

  "You're Dune Bellamy," Ben said. "A class by itself. Not always a good thing, since everyone who loves you has to figure it out on their own."

  Dune looked at him, perplexed. "There's really no mystery to me," he said. "I'm just a guy."

  Jamie had come back into the kitchen during this and stood in the archway, his head tilted thoughtfully. "Oh, the many things I could take from that statement," he said. "I've been thinking over your dilemma and I have a solution."

  "Oh?"

  "Yep. You know what you're getting into with Micah, right?"

  "I...think it's not as clear as it was before," Dune said slowly.

  "Well, you know his patterns. He'll get distracted by someone else before long. So if you want him, just enjoy it. Take it for what it is: a good time with a pretty boy, and establish from the beginning that that's all it is. That way you'll part with no hard feelings and you can move on to the next without guilt."

  "Hm," Dune said. He patted Jamie's back. "Thank you for worrying, but I think I'm going to muddle through this one on my own."

  "Well," Jamie said with a sigh. "As long as you know what you're in for."

  "I think I can handle it." As long as there was sex involved he could take anything else Micah might care to dish out. "And I'm sure he can handle me."

  "I hope so." Jamie said to Ben, "Come on, we've got hungry people salivating over the still lifes. Feed us, Benjie."

  "Yes, sir. Dunie, would you do the honors?" He picked up a bowl of tossed salad and a plate of garlic bread to carry them into the sun room, and Dune took the plate of salmon and followed him.

  "Come on, time to eat now," Jamie said to the others, herding them to the table. "Dune, should I leave the place for Micah or remove it, do you think?"

  "Let's give him a little more time," Dune said, carefully setting the platter on the table.

  "Micah?" Gavin said as he took his chair. "That little guy?"

  "Micah," Vijay said, sounding pleased, "our very young friend. I had not heard he was back from Europe."

  "He came home just before Labor Day," said Ben, holding the back of his chair. "It seems to have agreed with him."

  "Europe agrees with most visitors, I believe." Vijay spread his napkin in his lap. "You have done very well, Ben."

  "This is mostly Jamie's doing," Ben said, smiling proudly, and Jamie laughed as he tugged on the cork in the wine bottle.

  "I can spread butter on fish with the best of them. Benjie, one-up me, please? This is stubborn."

  "Here." Ben took the bottle and began twisting the corkscrew. "There we go." He grinned in triumph and put the cork on his plate.

  Dune held out his glass. "Fill 'er up, please," he said, and Ben obliged, giving him a concerned glance as he did so.


  "I went to Italy once," Duncan said, "the summer between graduation and law school. It was amazing -- it was so tempting to stay in Tuscany for the rest of my life." Vijay was smiling at him in a way that made Duncan blush and duck his head. "But I came home, of course," he muttered. "I bet you've seen every major city there is."