Something Beautiful

by Jenna Jones

  "I have seen many," Vijay said with a nod.

  Gavin said in a bored tone, "What's it you do, Veej?"

  "I play flute," Vijay said mildly.

  "He plays it beautifully," Tristan added, and Vijay smiled and bowed his head in thanks. "He's with the city symphony now, and I think we're lucky to have him."

  "You are too kind."

  "Are you enjoying the pop and metal tribute nights?" Gavin said, still sounding bored as he drank a swig from his wine glass.

  Laird gave him a pointed look. "I guess I'm glad I'm driving tonight."

  "I guess you are," Gavin muttered into his glass.

  Vijay said, with the air of someone trying to head off something unpleasant, "Our symphony is not like that of other cities, and I enjoy the atmosphere. It's good not to be bound by -- what would you call it, Dune? You're our man of words. What is the word for only dead white males?"

  "Canon," Dune said. "Accepted canon."

  "Exactly. Accepted canon. Though I wait for the day when our guest conductor is someone like Trip Dog or whatever they are called now. It may be too much for our settled patrons."

  Gavin said, "So you don't consider it a disgrace to go from playing the masters of Western music to playing An Evening Of Metallica?"

  "I consider whatever our artistic director chooses to be what we will play," Vijay said, placid. "I do not see it as a disgrace of any kind. We are lucky to have such freedom."

  Gavin snorted and drank more wine, and Dune smiled into his glass. He knew this mood: Gavin was uncomfortable, and that made him pick fights.

  Ben served up dinner and the conversation drifted, from the symphony to places you had to see in Florence to the latest pick from Oprah's book club and how this affected Tristan's parents' bookstore, and Dune watched the empty place setting and wished Micah was there.

  He nearly jumped to his feet when someone rang the front bell, but managed to say, "I'll get it," calmly and walk steadily to the front door. He collapsed on Micah once he'd opened the door. "Hi," he said into Micah's neck.

  "I'm sorry I ran away," Micah whispered, arms tight around him.

  "It's okay. I've missed you." He lifted his head and took a deep breath. "You're late."

  "I had to go home and reassure the parents I didn't die, and they wanted to hear all about Bonnie and what I've been doing since last night, and it took a while to tell them in a way that wouldn't make them freak out." He was a far cry from the Micah from the night before: clean-shaven, the curls tamed out of his hair, a polo shirt, sneakers and faded jeans, not a speck of body glitter, not so much as a pride button on his denim jacket. This, Dune thought, is the son Spencer and Ivy think they have. I like this Micah, too.

  He kissed Micah's forehead. "Hey. Laird brought Gavin. It's not that bad," he added when Micah narrowed his eyes.

  "I can't help it. I just don't like him. He's -- I dunno. It's probably just me being clingy. Do you want to stay?"

  "Yes," Dune said with a firm nod. "This is about spending a night with friends."

  "Right." Micah tugged Dune's hands, pulling him back to the sun room. "Feed me, then, Dunie. I'm a growing boy -- I need nourishment."

  "I'll be happy to feed you," Dune said, allowing himself to be led.

  ***

  After the Wim Wenders but before the Bruce Lee, Dune excused himself and went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. The evening had not turned out to be a complete disaster, which gave him hope: Micah went out of his way to be polite to Gavin, and Gavin had apparently decided it wasn't worth the effort to annoy anyone else.

  It helped, too, that when they sat down to watch the first movie Micah declared, "This is my spot," as he plopped on the floor beside Dune and made himself comfortable at Dune's side the same way that he had the previous spring, pulling Dune's arm around him and resting his head on Dune's shoulder.

  Nothing's changed, Dune thought as he sipped his water. Except everything. The Micah of the previous spring would never have slipped a hand around Dune's leg to rub his inner thigh, for instance.

  "Hey," said Gavin, leaning against the counter, and Dune came out of his reverie.

  "Hello."

  "German art flicks aren't exactly how I expected to spend my Saturday night. You guys do this every week?"

  "Not every week," Dune said. "Just most weeks. And that's one of Ben's favorite movies so I wouldn't badmouth it in front of him."

  "Right, right. Jamie said there's beer in the fridge." Dune got a bottle from the refrigerator and gave it to him, not commenting as Gavin twisted off the top and took a long drink. "These boys know their beer. So," he said, looking at Dune with half-closed eyes, "you and the kid. You've fucked."

  The glass paused on its way back to Dune's mouth. "It's not any of your business," he said and sipped.

  "I have to disagree. You two weren't together Friday night. Oh, I saw right through that little act -- he's not a great actor, our young friend," he added with a sneer. "I didn't believe that any more than I believe he'd actually put porn on my computer just to make my life more difficult. But something's changed, and I'm betting that thing is sex."

  "Like I said," Dune said. "None of your business. You gave up that right a long time ago." With great effort Dune stopped himself from slamming the glass down on the counter. "Or have you forgotten that part?"

  "Oh, no," Gavin said, smiling a maddeningly smug smile. "Our Dune's lost his temper. It must be the end of the world." He stepped closer and wrapped a hand around Dune's upper arm. "Micah's a child. You know that, right?"

  "He's twenty-three."

  Gavin dismissed it when a shrug and said in a low voice, "He's a little boy -- and you, my beautiful Dune, have always needed men." His gaze fell to Dune's mouth and then rose slowly to meet Dune's eyes. He smiled.

  Dune managed to say calmly, "You have no idea what I need. You never have. Let go of my arm."

  Instead, Gavin's grip grew tighter. "Do you want me to apologize? Fine. I hurt you. I'm sorry. I embrace it, I own it, and I release it to the universe. Now let's go someplace where we can fuck already."

  "No," Dune said.

  Gavin frowned at him. "No one will ever love you the way I do, Dune."

  "Thank God for that," Dune said. "I don't think I'd survive."

  "Dunie?" Micah said softly from the archway. "Do you need some help?"

  "I'm okay, Micah," Dune said, smiling at Micah, and Gavin finally released his arm.

  "I'm going to wear you down, you know," Gavin said. "The longer you resist, the harder it'll be. And maybe," he leaned into Dune, his mouth a breath away, "maybe I'll make you beg." He ambled out of the kitchen.

  Micah looked after him, then said to Dune, "It's official. I hate him."

  Dune shook his head, then pulled Micah to him and wrapped his arms around Micah. "Come home with me tonight."

  "I will." He buried his face in Dune's chest. "Should we go? Are you in the mood for Bruce Lee?"

  "I'm not. Let's go."

  On their way out Dune leaned over Jamie's shoulder, hugged him lightly around his shoulders and said, "Good night. Micah's going to drive me home."

  "You sure you don't want to stay?" Jamie said, turning around to look up at him.

  "I'm sure. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night, everybody," Dune said to the others.

  Across the room Gavin snorted. "If this party is breaking up I'll be on my way, too."

  "There's another movie," Laird said to him.

  "You know, I really don't care," Gavin said, getting to his feet. "You all enjoy your taffy pull. I'm going to Zebra. I need to get laid." He gave Dune a significant look as he brushed past.

  "Come on, Dunie," Micah said softly, taking his hand.

  "Yeah," Dune said, "I'm coming."

  ***

  Once they were alone in Dune's loft, Micah shut the door and crossed his arms, leaning back against it. "What did Gavin say to you?"

  "Nothing important. He's an ass." Dune flopped onto the
sofa and held out his arms. "Cuddle me. Make the world a better place."

  Micah smiled and threw himself onto Dune, kissed Dune’s neck and combed his fingers through Dune's glossy black curls. "Yes. Happy Dune makes a happy world."

  "Damn straight it does." He ran his fingers over Micah's jaw. "Did you find what you were looking for in Santa Cruz?" he said softly.

  Micah nodded as he rubbed Dune's chest with his palm. "I think so. Just someone to remind me, I guess."

  "Remind you of what?"

  "Of what I really want." He felt himself blushing and then kissed Dune's hand and blushed even hotter.

  Dune was smiling and he moved back on the lie on the sofa, pulling Micah against him. "And what is it that you want, wee Micah?" he whispered.

  Micah looked at Dune through his lashes and whispered, "What do you think I want? Why do you think I came back to you?"

  "Sex?" Dune suggested.

  "Sex. Sex with Dune." He laid his head on Dune's chest and wrapped his arms as much as he could around Dune's waist. "Lovely sex with Dune. And other lovely things with my Dune."

  "You've got your Dune as long as you want him," Dune said quietly, stroking Micah's back.

  "Even with Gavin around?"

  Dune slowly sighed. "That is so complicated."

  "It's not that complicated. If you want him back, then -- then -- then that's it."

  "I don't want him back," Dune said. He sounded depressed at the idea, and Micah had to kiss him. Dune held onto his face and smiled when they parted. "Why would I want him back when I've got you?"

  Micah beamed at him and kissed him again. Micah settled comfortably against Dune's body and kissed him, one hand at the base of his neck. Micah could feel his heart speeding up as they kissed, and it made Micah want to kiss Dune more, to do everything he could to shatter Dune's calm.

  "Micah," Dune whispered as Micah's mouth moved along his jaw. "What am I to you?"

  Micah lifted his head and looked at Dune. "You're my Dune." Dune gave Micah an impatient look, and Micah said, tracing his cheekbone, "You're my best friend and my teacher and my favorite person." He hesitated. "What am I to you?"

  Dune smirked and said, "My Micah," and yelped when Micah tickled him.

  "You make me confess to you and then you won't even -- ! Dune, you're evil! Evil!"

  Dune fought off his hands, laughing, and then wrapped both arms around Micah and kissed him, hard, parting his lips and licking deep into his mouth. "Very evil," he whispered when he let Micah breathe.

  "Maybe not totally evil," Micah murmured and kissed him back, wanting nothing more than to taste him. Maybe a bit more. In a while. He couldn't remember the last time he'd just necked with someone -- and Dune was such a good kisser, so gentle, so lovely.

  "No." Dune sucked on Micah's lip a moment. "Not totally. Maybe even...rather good."

  "Very good." Micah slipped a hand under Dune's shirt to touch his stomach and giggled when Dune's stomach trembled. He pushed up Dune's shirt and ducked down his head to kiss Dune's stomach, hugely pleased when Dune moaned. "Tell me how much you want me," he said and licked Dune's navel.

  "So much -- I can't even -- c'mere --" He tried to pull Micah back to him, and Micah slithered out of his grip. He got up on his knees and stripped off his jacket and shirt. He ran his hand down his chest under Dune's dark, hungry gaze and smiled.

  "How much?"

  "So much it would fill oceans, Micah," Dune whispered, and Micah laughed out loud and threw himself onto him again, arms around his neck.

  "Dune, I only want to be with you. You know that, don't you? I just want to be with you."

  "I know, Micah. I know." He hummed in his throat as Micah ran his fingers across his ribs. "I never wanted you to think that I don't want to be with you." He held Micah's chin in his fingers. "I never want you to think I want anything but the best for you."

  "And what is best for me, Dunie?" Micah whispered.

  Dune smiled. "Me, of course."

  Micah smiled, pulled off Dune's shirt and threw himself back onto Dune, who yelped, "Elbow!" in a strangled voice.

  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Micah said, trying to find somewhere other than Dune's stomach to rest his arms.

  "Lord, we're like the Keystone Kops," Dune muttered and grabbed Micah's hands, holding them palm-to-palm. He licked the tip of Micah's nose.

  "But now I can't touch you," Micah said, trying not to whine.

  "Improvise," Dune suggested and licked Micah's neck.

  "Easy for you to say." Micah eyed Dune a moment. He ducked down and kissed Dune's chest, then captured one of Dune's nipples between his teeth and sucked on it, hard. Dune gasped and wrapped his legs around Micah's waist, pulling him even closer.

  Micah suckled him until Dune was panting and whimpering, and then slid down further, still clasping Dune's hands, and following the path of dark hair down his belly. He made love to Dune's navel with his tongue, which brought sounds from Dune halfway between moans and laughter.

  "You said to improvise," Micah said, resting his chin on Dune's hip bone.

  "You're doing wonderfully, sweetheart," Dune said faintly. His hips shifted and he rubbed the insides of Micah's wrists with his thumbs. "Are you stopping? Why are you stopping?"

  Micah giggled and kissed Dune's hip, jumped up from the couch and said, "I'm getting the condoms and the lube." He tried to look stern. "Don't move."

  "Wouldn't dream of it," Dune said in the same faint voice, and Micah practically skipped to the bathroom.

  Dune was propping himself up on his elbows when Micah returned, watching him thoughtfully. "What?" Micah said, climbing back onto him and kissing the lines in his forehead.

  "You're pretty, you know that?"

  Micah snorted and kissed him again. "Shut up. I hate that." Micah eased flat onto Dune's body, kissing and nuzzling him.

  "I like looking at you, that's all." Dune wrapped his arms around Micah and rubbed the sole of his foot along Micah's leg.

  "Are we going to do it or are we going to talk?"

  Dune chortled and hugged him tighter. "That's a refreshing change. Most of the guys I fuck are, like, 'Dunie, talk to me, cuddle me, I want to get to know you.'"

  "I already know you," Micah said, resting their foreheads together. "You're not an undiscovered country, you know."

  Dune cocked his head. "A literary reference? I'm impressed."

  "Um..." He kissed Dune's chest. "I was thinking Star Trek."

  Dune laughed and hugged him again, then kissed him warmly, stroking his spine. "Micah," he said in a hesitant tone. "Before this goes any further, there's something we should talk about."

  "No more talking. More kissing." Micah kissed Dune, cupping his neck and hoping to distract him. Micah had had bad experiences with that sentence.

  "Micah," Dune said, pushing lightly on his shoulders. "We need to establish something."

  "What?" Micah said, irritated.

  Dune sat up and put his hands on Micah's waist. "You know I care about you."

  "Yes," Micah said cautiously. "I know."

  "You also know this --" He gestured between them. "This is between friends."

  "I haven't been bragging about it to anybody. Of course, there hasn't been time."

  "You can tell anybody you want that we're sleeping together," Dune said patiently. "I'm okay with that."

  Micah looked down at where their bodies were resting together, slim hips and waists and thighs, and sighed deeply. "Okay. I get you. Friends with benefits. "

  "Are you okay with that?" Dune ducked his head, trying to look into Micah's eyes. "Can you handle that?"

  "Well, I have to be, don't I? I don't want you to cut me off completely."

  "Oh, Micah," Dune said and held his face to kiss him. "I wouldn't do that to you. I don't want you to get your hopes up that this is anything more than what it is."

  "So what is it?" He looked at Dune through his lashes.

  Dune said gently, "I love you dearly, but I'm not in lo
ve with you, okay?"

  Micah sighed and ran his hand over Dune's stomach. There was a tattoo on his belly of a half moon and a star, just above his navel. It looked like something Jamie had drawn -- which wouldn't surprise him since they'd known each other forever. "Okay," he said. "I'm okay with that."

  "Are you sure? I'm not going to stop being your friend if you decide you don't want to have sex with me anymore."