Butterfly

by Sylvester Stephens

  That night I spoke with Keisha and she was very upset. Her mother decided that she did not want to work on their relationship anymore. She was moving out of state with the schoolteacher. That meant she was going to have to move in with her father. She was devastated! Throughout the night, we would hang up, she would try to contact her stepdad, he would not answer, and then she would call me again. We repeated that cycle all night long. Keisha thought that if she could talk her stepdad into coming back home or let her come live with him, everything would be fine. I talked to her until it was almost time for me to go to school. Eventually, I got her to calm down and she told me to go to school and not to worry about her.

  After school, I went directly to her house to find out if she had reached her stepdad. I knocked a couple of times and then on one of the knocks, the door came open. I could hear Keisha’s music blaring from upstairs. I walked up the stairs slowly and then for some reason, I had an eerie feeling. I picked up the pace and ran into Keisha’s room. I burst through the door and there she was, hanging from the ceiling fan with a curtain wrapped around her neck, and a chair toppled on its side on the floor.

  I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Keishaaaaaaa!”

  I stood on the chair and snatched the curtain from the almost collapsed ceiling fan. I fell to the floor with Keisha in my arms. I called 9-1-1, and tried to get Keisha to open her eyes, but she wouldn’t. When the medics arrived, they tried desperately to revive her, but eventually, they pronounced her dead on arrival.

  • • •

  I helped Mrs. Benson clean up Keisha’s room. She put her personal items in a chest and locked them away. I could not believe that everything Keisha had in life was locked away in a small chest, everything but her diary. I slipped it into my pocket and I took it home with me. I read it as soon as I got home and I found out that Keisha only told me half of what that monster had done to her. Word by word, I read each painful page of my friend’s horrible life. I did not mention the diary to any of the other girls in our clique. I had to tell someone and that someone was my mother.

  Ms. Alicia and I had a long talk about Keisha’s diary and her death. That is when I found out that Ms. Alicia had attempted suicide several times as well. She explained to me that was why she was so protective of me. She did not want me to suffer the way she’d suffered with men: the self-doubt, the constant need for approval, and the lack of self-worth, all of the typical symptoms that led to depression. I had issues with wanting to be loved, but not just from boys, from anybody.

  Ms. Alicia read Keisha’s diary and she cried. She could not believe that my friend was going through so much pain and abuse and no one around her, adult or child, could see it, or stop it. Once her tears stopped, she took the diary to Dr. Forrester to let him read it. He immediately arranged for me to talk to Mr. Robert at the police station.

  Dr. Forrester, Ms. Alicia, and I sat in a small room with Mr. Robert and a lady detective named Ms. Sharp. They read some of the diary and were convinced that an investigation into Keisha’s father would be launched.

  “Did Keisha ever tell you anything about her father sexually abusing her?” Detective Sharp asked.

  “Yes, ma’am. She came over for Thanksgiving and that was the first time she mentioned her father had touched her inappropriately.”

  “When you say ‘inappropriately,’ what specifically happened?”

  “She told me her father started off just touching her. Then he made her make him ejaculate...and then he raped her.”

  “Did she use the word ‘rape’?”

  “Yes, ma’am. She described in detail everything he did to her. She was sleeping and he crawled under the blanket with her and held her down and had sex with her.”

  Ms. Alicia covered her mouth and left the room. “Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom.”

  Detective Sharp paused until Ms. Alicia was out of the room and then continued, “And she said there was definite penetration?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Would you be willing to repeat this statement under oath?”

  “Absolutely, Detective Sharp!” I could not wait to expose that bastard for killing my friend! “I’ll do it right now if you want me to.”

  “You’ll get your chance.”

  “So what do you think, Detective?” Mr. Robert said.

  “Ms. Clemmons’ story corroborates the diary. I will definitely launch an investigation and then we’ll leave it up to the district attorney.”

  “Thanks for coming in, Shante. You did good. I’m proud of you.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Robert.”

  • • •

  Keisha’s funeral was two weeks before my graduation. I had never seen Keisha’s father and I was looking forward to putting a face on the monster. I wanted to see what kind of man could possess such an evil spirit. I was happy to see Mr. and Mrs. Benson sitting together. They were making a serious attempt to mend their marriage. Too bad it took Keisha’s death to bring them to their senses. Had they acted like adults earlier and tried to work their problems out, Keisha would still be alive!

  Toya was sitting next to me, so I asked her if Keisha’s father was in the church. She pointed him out to me sitting in the front row on the opposite side of the church. When I saw him, I automatically tried to slide to the floor. Fear consumed me. I was nervous and I felt like getting up and running out. But I could not do it. The man turned around to casually look behind him and I ducked. I got a good look at him and it was who I thought it was, Mr. Harry.

  I was asked to speak prior to her funeral. I was Keisha’s best friend and I had to, but I knew by doing that, I would also expose myself to Mr. Harry. When I got up to speak and he finally saw my face, I could tell that he was just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. I went on to tell everyone how much of a good girl Keisha was. How happy and vibrant she was. But I wanted to say was, how much she was tormented. How her father had turned that beautiful caterpillar into an ugly creature inside. How her father had made her believe that she was responsible for the many, many times he had raped her.

  Keisha was a good girl, for real, and she did not deserve the life she had been given. The whole situation seemed surreal. It felt like an out-of-body experience. I could not believe my best friend was dead.

  I knew it was crazy, but I stepped outside of the church where no one could see me and I dialed her cell phone just to hear her voice. “Hi, this is Keisha. Obviously I can’t come to the phone right now, so if you really want something, you know what to do. ’Cause if you don’t leave a message I didn’t get your call. Ha! Ha! Ha!”

  I played it over and over. Her loud, crazy laugh put a smile on my face. I tried to remember the funny and witty Keisha, but all that I could think about was her small, precious body hanging from that ceiling fan.

  After the funeral, I let Jeremy come over to watch television and talk. I really needed his company. It was uncomfortable at first, but then we loosened up and had the discussion we did not want to have, but we needed to have.

  “Are we still going to the prom? We haven’t really talked, so I don’t know.”

  “Probably, but not together, Jeremy.”

  “Oh, it’s like that, huh?”

  “Yeah, it’s like that.” I nodded repeatedly.

  “Why not?”

  “Do you really need for me to answer that question, Jeremy?”

  “No, I know why not, but I’m saying, since we’ve already made plans, why not?”

  “I don’t know. People are going to think I’m a fool if I go up in there on your arm.”

  “Who cares what people think?”

  “I care what people think!” I snapped. “I don’t want people to think I’m some sucker who will take anything from you because you might go pro.”

  “I made a mistake. I embarrassed you. I embarrassed me, my family...”

  “You’ve already given that speech, Jeremy. I’m immune to it.”

  “What I’m saying is, I know I was w
rong, but I still love you, Butterfly. I try not to, but I can’t help it. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. And maybe if I was another girl, I could forgive you for what you did, but I’m sorry, I can’t. And I can’t help that.”

  “I don’t understand something, Butterfly.”

  “What don’t you understand?”

  “Why is it that you want me to love you unconditionally, but you don’t want to love me unconditionally?”

  “Our conditions are different.”

  “But when you say love unconditionally, that means there are no conditions, right?”

  “Wrong.”

  “So no matter what I say or do, you’re not going to take me back?”

  “Uhn-uhn, I can’t do it. I’ll take you back as my friend, but not my boyfriend.”

  “You’re just trying to be hard now, huh?”

  “I’m not trying to be hard. I’ve just been through so much in my life, man. You just don’t know, Jeremy.” I put my hands on my forehead. “My best friend just died. I almost didn’t get into college. I just want to have peace in my life. I just want some peace, man!”

  “You’re only eighteen years old, Butterfly.”

  “Yeah, but I feel like I’ve had a hundred years’ worth of pain.”

  “How much pain could you have gone through at the age of eighteen?”

  I smiled and said very softly, “A lifetime.”

  I think when I said that, he got it. He held my hand and gave up trying to convince me into being in a relationship with him. I put my head on his shoulder and he became my friend. My first love was officially over. However, I did agree to go to the prom with him, but as a friend only.

  Chapter Fourteen

  On prom day, Ms. Alicia, Auntie Cynthia and Auntie Pam took me out for a day of pampering. Auntie Cynthia brought Bri with her, which I gladly appreciated to have someone remotely close to my age. We did the normal spa thing, feet and hands, facial and massage. The adults talked and Bri and I pretty much listened.

  “I hear you have a scholarship to Spelman, Shante?” Auntie Pam asked.

  “Yes, ma’am, thanks to my mom.”

  “Ah, she didn’t do nothing,” Auntie Pam joked. “Don’t give her credit for your hard work.”

  “She don’t have to give me anything. I’m proud of my Butterfly.”

  “You’ve never called me that before.”

  “And you’ve never called me Mom before.”

  “Oh-kay, here were go,” Auntie Pam said. “We’re here to have fun, not get all sensitive and crying all over the place.”

  “Girl, you know I’ll cry on you in a minute.”

  “I know. I’m not in a crying mood right now. I’m in a fun mood, so leave the tears at the house, why don’t you?”

  “I know her.” Ms. Alicia pointed to a woman standing across the room.

  “Who is she?” Auntie Cynthia asked.

  “I went to college with her! I hear she’s this big Hollywood agent now.”

  “Alicia thinks she knows everybody, Cynthia,” Auntie Pam joked.

  “She’s right, though. I just saw her on TMZ,” Auntie Cynthia said.

  “Yeah, that’s her! That’s my girl.” Ms. Alicia waved. “Erin?”

  The lady looked in our direction and ignored us at first.

  “I told you she didn’t know that chick, Cynt.”

  “Shut up, Pam. I do know her.” Ms. Alicia waved her over. “It’s me, Alicia Murray. I got her in the damn business.”

  “Alicia Murray?” Ms. Erin clicked her high-heels over to our chairs. “Alicia Murray? Oh my God! How are you, girl?”

  “I am wonderful! I see you on television all the time!”

  “You do? That’s fantastic! Do you still live here in Atlanta?”

  “Yes, I’m married with two beautiful kids. My youngest daughter is not with me today, but here is my oldest. Her name is Shante.”

  “Hi, Shante.” Ms. Erin shook my hand. “I’m Erin Philpot.”

  “Hi.”

  “And these are my friends, Pam, Cynthia and that is my niece, Brimone.”

  Ms. Erin shook everybody’s hand. She was about five feet four inches tall. Her hair was long and wavy. She was mulatto, but her black features were definitely more dominant than her white features. Her nose was round, her lips were full, but her eyes were bluish gray. She had beautiful smooth skin and a high soft voice.

  She told Ms. Alicia that she was in a hurry and she had to go. She had only stopped by the shop to check on a modeling prospect that turned out to be a no-go. She said good-bye to all of us and then clicked her high-heel shoes all of the way out of the door.

  “She’s a little debutante, isn’t she?” Auntie Pam mimicked Ms. Erin’s walk.

  “Shh! Here she comes again!” Auntie Cynthia said quickly.

  Ms. Erin walked in front of us and snapped her fingers. “Stand up!”

  We did not know who she was talking to, and she was so authoritative with her voice that all of us stood up at once, even Auntie Pam.

  “Not all of you,” Ms. Erin pointed to me, “You!”

  Everybody sat down but me. We were all confused. Ms. Erin walked around me in a circle, moving my body in certain directions.

  “I am the proprietor of the Philpot Modeling Agency. And today might be the luckiest day of your life. Now walk!”

  I looked at Ms. Alicia. “You heard her, walk!”

  I walked to the door and then walked back.

  “Put your hands on your hips and twist those hips from side to side.”

  I put my hands on my hips and tried to twist my hips.

  “Harder!”

  I walked harder.

  “Faster!”

  I walked faster. Ms. Erin put her hands on her lips as if she was contemplating a very serious thought.

  “Oh, the camera is going to love you, girlie!” Ms. Erin grabbed both of Ms. Alicia’s hands. “Alicia, I have to have her!”

  “Um, what does that mean exactly, Erin?”

  “That means I need to get her on the next plane to Los Angeles for an audition for the next season of America the Beautiful.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “When have you ever known me to kid about modeling?”

  “Don’t play with me, Erin. You know how I feel about the business. You really think she has the potential to become a model?”

  “She has the looks. All that she needs is the attitude. And I have enough attitude for the both of us.”

  “Now that’s something you don’t have to convince me of,” Auntie Pam joked.

  “Be quiet, Pam,” Ms. Alicia whispered.

  “So, what’s it going to be, Alicia?”

  “I just don’t want her to be disappointed.”

  “It’s just an audition for the show.”

  “What do you think, Butterfly?”

  “I don’t know what to say. I’m still in shock.”

  “You better say yes, if you’re interested, because Erin doesn’t have all day.”

  “Yes!” Bri shouted.

  “Bri?” Auntie Cynthia gestured for Bri to be quiet.

  “I mean, of course! I’m just in shock right now.”

  “When can you get her on a plane? I need her in L.A., ASAP!”

  “She has the prom tonight, and she graduates next Thursday. We can be on a plane Friday morning.”

  “Friday is too late. I have to have her audition no later than Wednesday.”

  “Do you have any makeup exams or anything, sweetheart?”

  “No, ma’am. I’m done for the year. I’m ready to walk!”

  Ms. Alicia looked back and forth at me and Ms. Erin. Ms. Erin pointed to her watch. “I’m late! I’m late!”

  “I know there are no guarantees in this business, but how sure are you that she will at least have a shot at this?”

  “This is her shot right here! I can guarantee that she will get an audition and the rest is up to her.”

  “I’ll boo
k us a flight for tomorrow!”

  “Excuse me, Mom. But I have to visit my dad tomorrow, remember?”

  “But this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, hon. I’m sure your dad would not want you to miss out on it.”

  “I promised him.”

  “Alicia, let her visit her dad. You can fly out Monday. I’ll have my assistant arrange your flight and send you the itinerary. We’ll cover your hotel, flight, well, all your accommodations.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Erin.”

  “I know I don’t. Let’s just call it an investment.”

  “Okay.”

  “And what was the name you called her?”

  “Shante?”

  “No,” Ms. Erin handed me her business card, “You called her something else.”

  “Butterfly?” I suggested.

  “Yes, that’s it! Do people call you that?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Stop with the ‘ma’am.’ You’re about to enter a world where eighteen is a full-grown woman. People will be saying ‘yes, ma’am’ to you.” Ms. Erin chuckled. “Butterfly? I like that. From now on, Butterfly is your name! I’m sorry, people, but I reeeeeally have to catch my plane, so have a good day all.” Ms. Erin kissed Ms. Alicia on both of her cheeks and then strutted out of the salon.

  “Wow! What the hell just happened in here?” Auntie Pam asked. “One minute we’re getting our toes done, the next minute this chick is on her way to L.A. for a damn modeling audition!”

  “Our little Butterfly is about to fly away, that’s what just happened.” Ms. Alicia clapped her hands.

  “How do you feel, Shante? I mean, Ms. Butterfly.”

  “I don’t know how I feel, Auntie Cynthia. It seems like a dream and I’m waiting for somebody to wake me up. Stuff like this just doesn’t happen to me.”

  “Well, it has happened and I could not be happier for you,” Ms. Alicia said.

  “Oh, I almost forgot, Mom.”

  “Forgot what?”

  “I have to meet with Mrs. Gary on Monday morning.”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know, she didn’t tell me. She just said it was very important.”