Butterfly

by Sylvester Stephens

  “What time?”

  “Eight o’ clock.”

  “That’s fine. That’s only five in the morning, L.A. time. You can do that meeting and then we can get on the next available plane.”

  “There’s still one more thing.”

  “Now what’s the matter?”

  “I’m scared to fly.”

  “Have you ever flown before?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Oh well.”

  “I have an idea, Auntie Alicia,” Bri said.

  “And what’s that?”

  “I’m not afraid to fly. If I go with you, I can talk to Butterfly while we’re flying to take her mind off of being in the air. It’s a delicate situation and I could be a very valuable asset. Not to mention I won’t eat much and I can sleep on the floor.”

  “Actually, I think that’s a good idea. But your mom is not going to let you fly to California on such short notice.”

  “I don’t know, Alicia. She may consider it if I go with you.” Auntie Cynthia chuckled.

  “So everybody’s trying to cash in on Butterfly’s fame?” Ms. Alicia joked.

  “Yup!” they answered in unison.

  “I guess it won’t hurt to ask.”

  “Wait a damn minute, if all of y’all going to L.A., I’m going, too!” Auntie Pam said.

  That evening, everybody came over to our house to wait for Jeremy to pick me up for the prom. I wore a long formal white gown. It was fitted until it got to my knees and flared outward. It had spaghetti straps with the back out. In my heels I was about six feet three inches tall. My hair had an Asian-style bang trim in the front and was completely straight and hanging down my back like the way Naomi Campbell wears hers.

  Jeremy pulled up in a stretched SUV Hummer. My family and friends took a million pictures of us before we left. I could not believe how Ms. Alicia could not stop crying. I’d had a dream-come-true experience earlier that day with my audition. That night it was Ms. Alicia’s turn to live out her dream as a doting mother. If you asked me, I think she was happier than me.

  Jeremy and I had fun at the prom. He tried his best to convince me to go to a hotel with him afterward. He said he had already spent a lot of money on the room and if we did not go, it would have been a waste. I told him that he should not have been so prematurely optimistic to assume that we were going to have sex on our prom night. He claimed it was not about sex; he just wanted to have that last night together. I told him two words, “Niggah, please!”

  He dropped me back off at home around two in the morning. Pa-Pa was waiting up for me. I was on my way upstairs when he called me into the kitchen. He asked me to turn in circles, so he could see my dress.

  “Okay, good!” Pa-Pa said.

  “You like my dress, Pa-Pa?”

  “Yes, the dress is nice, but that’s not what I’m looking for.”

  “What are you looking for?”

  “I’m checking for wrinkles,” Pa-Pa examined me thoroughly, “Okay, you good. I can tell by the few wrinkles that it ain’t been off of you.”

  “Pa-Pa?”

  “Don’t Pa-Pa, me! I know what goes on, on prom night. Things ain’t changed that much since I was a teenager. Y’all still do the same thing we did. Your young nasty asses just do more of it!”

  “I don’t do anything, Pa-Pa.”

  “If you do, I better not ever get wind of it.”

  “That’s the last thing you have to worry about right now.”

  “Come here.” Pa-Pa reached out his arms. I walked into Pa-Pa’s arms and hugged him. “I heard about your audition for that television show.”

  “Yeah, that’s crazy, Pa-Pa. I still don’t believe it.”

  “I am so proud of you!” Pa-Pa hugged me again. “Don’t get out there to Hollywood and forget about your people.”

  “Forget about you? I haven’t even had an audition yet. I probably won’t even make the cut.”

  “Don’t worry, you will,” Pa-Pa let out a long yawn, “It’s past my bedtime. I was just up waiting on you because I might not catch you before you go see your daddy in the morning.”

  “Okay, Pa-Pa, let me put you in the bed.”

  I grabbed Pa-Pa’s arm and we began to walk toward the stairs. “Put me in the bed? I’m a grown-ass man, girl. I don’t need nobody to help me get in the bed.”

  “Shush! Come on, old man!”

  I walked Pa-Pa to his room and then I went to bed. I am glad I had the opportunity to say good-bye to Pa-Pa one-on-one that night. I knew I would not get another chance before we left for Los Angeles. We were leaving first thing in the morning to go see my dad and would get back late Sunday evening. We were leaving early Monday morning because I had to meet with Mrs. Gary, and then we were heading straight to the airport from there.

  Pa-Pa was not like other old people his age. He did not rise and fall with the sun. He stayed up late watching movies he had no business watching and was always the last one to get up in the morning. I am thankful for our special time together, even if it was at two o’ clock in the morning.

  • • •

  During that time, my headaches continued and they began to come more frequently and more severe. Every time I thought about the night of the killings, my head seemed like it was about to burst. Whatever I was blocking in my subconscious was trying its best to break through.

  Dr. Forrester finally concluded that the spells may have originally begun from the events that happened on the night of the killings. But he felt that they became more intense because of the recent discovery of my unknown mother. My brain was trying to force my mind to remember my biological mother and until I found something, some memory, to connect our pasts together, the spells would continue. In order to find that connection, I would need my father’s help.

  On our May visit to see my father, Ms. Alicia went with us to formally introduce herself to my dad. Normally, Dr. Forrester and I visited one at a time for privacy. That day, the three of us sat with Dad at the same time to try to find out what was going on in my head.

  “Hi, Mr. Stone, my name is Alicia. I can never thank you enough for so many different things you have done for our family. And I want you to know that we see you as an extension of our family.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alicia. And I can’t thank you enough for taking care of my Butterfly during my unfortunate incarceration. The doc has told me a lot about you.”

  “All good I hope.”

  “Of course.”

  “Hey, Daddy.”

  “Hey, baby, so what’s first on the agenda?” Dad asked. “I’ll let y’all go first because I’ve been sitting on some pretty heavy news myself.”

  “Dad, I need to know more about my mother.”

  “Why do you want to keep bringing up the past, Butterfly?”

  “Because I need to know why that woman abandoned me.”

  Dad paused momentarily. “I never said you were ‘abandoned.’”

  “What?” I was totally surprised. “I just always assumed that...”

  “Your mother did not abandon you, Butterfly.”

  “What do you mean, Daddy?”

  “I don’t want you to be mad at me, sweetheart. Not like this. Not when I’m behind these bars like this.”

  “Why would I be mad at you, Dad?”

  “Because your mother did not abandon you.” Dad looked at Ms. Alicia and Dr. Forrester and then looked back at me. “I took you from her.”

  “What do you mean, ‘you took me from her’?”

  “We were having problems and she threatened to take you from me and go back to Alabama where she was from, and I couldn’t let her do that to us. You were the only meaningful thing in my life.”

  “So what are you saying, Dad?”

  “Long story short, the day after your mother and I split up, I picked you up for a visit and I never took you back to her.”

  “So all of these years you’ve been lying to me?”

  “No. All of these years I’ve
been protecting you!”

  “Keeping me away from my mother is not protecting me, Daddy!”

  “You don’t understand, Butterfly! She was...”

  “Don’t you call me that!” I snapped. “You lied to me!

  “Baby, I had to! She was going to...”

  “I’m ready to go, Dr. Forrester.”

  Dr. Forrester sat quietly and looked at my dad. Without even looking at me, he said, “No, Butterfly. That’s not how we resolve issues in this family. I don’t know why your father did what he did, but I know he loves you more than anything in this world. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for your happiness.”

  “The doc’s right, baby, you don’t understand. Your mother was going to...”

  All of a sudden, I felt the most intense pain I had ever experienced in all of the spells. My head felt like it was about to explode and I blacked out and collapsed. Usually, I would go back to the night of the killings, but that day it was total darkness. No images, no visions, absolutely nothing. I woke up in the prison’s infirmary with Dr. Forrester on one side of me and Ms Alicia on the other.

  “Glad you could join us.” Ms. Alicia smiled and held my hand.

  “What happened?”

  “You had another one of those blackouts here at the prison.”

  “We’re still in the prison?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did my dad see what happened?”

  “Yes.”

  “How is he?”

  “He’s fine.”

  “I didn’t mean to act like that. I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Ms. Alicia ran her hands through my hair. “Just relax, the nurse said you’re fine and we can take you home.”

  “Why do I keep doing this, Dr. Forrester?”

  “I don’t know, but we’re going to figure it out. I promise you that.”

  They made me lie down for another thirty minutes and then I was allowed to leave the prison. I went straight to bed when we got home. I stared at the ceiling trying my best to focus on that night, that night when my life was turned upside down.

  Because of my blackout, Ms. Alicia would not let me fly the next day, so we had to postpone the trip. Ms. Erin pulled some strings and worked it out with the show to let me send an audition video, and if they liked me, I could fly in on Friday. I felt sorry for Ms. Alicia because she was vicariously living out her life-long dream through me. She quickly put me in my place and let me know that being a model should’ve been my decision because I had to live my own life. She also told me that she would never jeopardize my health for any reason.

  My blackout did not stop me from going to school on Monday. Ms. Alicia and I still met with Mrs. Gary for our meeting. We did not know what the meeting was about. We assumed it was about some kind of unpaid balance that I had accrued throughout the year. We could not have been more wrong.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Forrester, Shante.”

  “Good morning, Mrs. Gary,” I said nervously. I began to have negative thoughts about the meeting. My life had finally taken a turn for the better and now fate was making her appearance once again to let me know that no matter how far I thought I had come, she was always looming to snatch me back into my world of despair...

  “I have wonderful news.” Mrs. Gary smiled at me.

  ...or maybe not.

  “Thank God.” I sighed.

  “Mrs. Forrester, I would like you to know that your daughter has been selected as Duluth Christian Academy’s 2011 valedictorian!”

  “You got to be kidding me?” I held my mouth wide open.

  “My Butterfly is the class valedictorian?”

  “Yes, she is. You seem surprised, Shante.”

  I could not answer. I just held my mouth wide open and stared at Mrs. Gary. This was even bigger than the modeling audition. The class valedictorian?

  “Why me?”

  “One, in terms of your grade-point average, you are rated the student with the highest academic rank of your entire graduating class. Two and three, you have exhibited great leadership and demonstrated the ability to follow directions as well.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Gary.”

  “With that being said, you will be the speaker for the commencement ceremony on Thursday evening.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you, my dear.”

  “I really haven’t done public speaking before, except for in drama class. I don’t know if I can do that.”

  “You have four days to practice.”

  “She’ll be fine, Mrs. Gary.”

  “I’m sure she will.” Mrs. Gary folded her hands on her desk. “That’s all that I have. Thank you all for coming.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Gary.” Ms. Alicia shook Mrs. Gary’s hand and we left.

  I was feeling weird when we left Mrs. Gary’s office. I had one of those feelings that something was about to happen. Of course, I suspected the worst. My life was going too well and it was time for reality to set in.

  The day went by with no incident so I assumed my intuition was off track. As a matter of fact, it was a very good day. Auntie Cynthia and Auntie Pam came over to help Ms. Alicia with shooting my audition video for America the Beautiful. Of course that also meant Bri was there. She was like my assistant.

  They hired a professional production company that shot videos for hip-hop artists. It was fun! We shot part of the video out at Lake Lanier, and the other part in the backyard. Ms. Alicia was a little buzz saw running all around, telling the professional production company what to do with their equipment.

  She was showing me how to do a runway walk. That woman was throwing those hips all over the place. I tried my best, but my hips did not go the way I wanted them to go. The director wanted me to do sexy, but Ms. Alicia wanted me to do chic. They were battling all night long. The director complained to Ms. Alicia that she was interfering with his creativity, and Ms. Alicia fussed at him that she did not care about him complaining because she was paying him. They compromised between the two concepts, and ended up somewhere in the middle. In the final analysis, they were both very pleased with the finished product.

  It was between three and four in the morning when we finished shooting. Ms. Alicia said I was a natural. A natural what, was my question. It was so late everybody just slept at our house that night. While the rest of us were sleeping, Ms. Alicia sent the video, via the Internet, so that Ms. Erin had could have it in front of her as soon as she arrived at her office that Wednesday morning. By the end of the day, she responded and told Ms. Alicia she had forwarded the video to the show’s talent coordinator and they loved it! She booked our flight to Los Angeles for the first thing Friday morning.

  I slept downstairs with Bri in the den so that Auntie Cynthia could sleep in my room. The older women woke up and fixed breakfast while Bri and I were still sleeping. I woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon and the doorbell chiming over and over.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Who in the world is ringing my doorbell this time of the morning?” Ms. Alicia said as she walked to the door. I rolled on my belly where I could see her in the foyer. She peeked through the peephole and whispered, “Who the hell is this?”

  “Why aren’t you opening the door?” Auntie Cynthia asked. “Who is it?”

  “I don’t know.” Ms. Alicia kept looking through the peephole trying to figure out if she knew the man or not.

  Auntie Pam walked in front of Ms. Alicia with a frying a pan in her hand and unlocked the door. “Stop acting so damn scary and open up the door!”

  “Pam?” the man said.

  Auntie Pam’s mouth dropped to the floor. A very angry expression came over her face and she snarled, “You son of a bitch!”

  Although I heard what Auntie Pam had said, I was more focused on the man standing in our doorway. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Daddy!”

  “Daddy?” Auntie Pam looked at me with her hand on her hips.

  “Yeah, this is my dad.” I held my
dad’s hand and pulled him into the house.

  “Sorry, to impose on you folks so early in the morning, but I could not wait to see my Butterfly.”

  “I’m sorry, I did not know who you were, Mr. Stone. Come on in and have a seat,” Ms. Alicia said.

  Auntie Cynthia walked out of the kitchen and shook my dad’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stone. I’m Cynthia.”

  “The pleasure is all mine. And you can just call me Stone.”

  “Stone it is.”

  “And Dad, this is Auntie Pam. But apparently you two have already met. She’s part owner of Ms. Alicia’s PR firm with Auntie Cynthia.”

  “Pam?”

  My dad reached out his hand to shake Auntie Pam’s hand, but she walked away and went back into the kitchen. It was an uncomfortable moment, but I was too excited that my dad was home to be concerned with that. I pulled him into the den to meet Bri.

  “Wake up, girl!” I shook Bri until she woke up. “I want you to meet my dad.”

  “Huh?”

  “Get up and meet my dad.”

  “Your dad is here?” Bri sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Oh my God! I have to go put on some clothes!”

  Bri darted upstairs with a comforter wrapped around her waist. My dad sat down and Ms. Alicia and Auntie Cynthia joined us. I asked my dad if he wanted something to drink and he said yes. I ran to the kitchen and found Auntie Pam sitting at the table crying.

  I tried to ignore her because I was in a hurry to get back to my dad. But I just could not be that insensitive. I did not sit down, but I did stop on my way out of the kitchen to check on her.

  “You okay, Auntie Pam?”

  “Oh, yes, baby. I’m fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Okay!” I headed for the door in a hurry, and I swear it hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped dead in my tracks and took a deep breath. I dropped the glass of water I had in my hands and uncontrollably walked backward. I sat down and stared at Auntie Pam.

  “You know, don’t you?” Auntie Pam asked.

  “Oh my God.”

  “Come here!” Auntie Pam and I reached for each other at the same time. “My baby! Oh, my baby!”