Butterfly

by Sylvester Stephens

  “This can’t be happening!” I tried to stop my body from shaking, but I couldn’t.

  “I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you so much, baby!” Auntie Pam kept repeating.

  Ms. Alicia walked into the kitchen and saw Auntie Pam and me, crying and hugging. She stood quietly for a minute. I guess she was trying to figure out how getting a glass of water for my dad could turn into the dramatic scene she was witnessing.

  “What’s going on in here?” Ms. Alicia asked.

  “Go get Stone, please,” Auntie Pam cried.

  “Uh, okay.” Ms. Alicia left and came back with my dad and Auntie Cynthia. Auntie Pam and I were still hugging.

  “Can you sit down, please?” Auntie Pam asked my dad.

  My dad sat down and Auntie Pam dropped in the chair facing him. Ms. Alicia and Ms. Cynthia were watching, but they did not know exactly what they were watching.

  “Why?” Auntie Pam asked. “I just wanna know why?”

  My dad paused, and for the first time in my life, I saw him cry. “You know why.”

  “Excuse me?” Ms. Alicia asked. “Why what?”

  “This,” Auntie Pam held my hand, “this is my baby.”

  Ms. Alicia sat on the floor. “Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! What do you mean, she is your baby?”

  “This man took my child from me and I have not laid eyes on my child since!” Auntie Pam stared at my dad with fire blazing in her eyes.

  “What the hell is going on?” Ms. Alicia looked at my dad and Auntie Pam for answers.

  “Like she said, I took Butterfly away.” Dad turned his attention to me. “I took you away because when you were born, there was a decision we had to make, and I think you know what I’m talking about. Your mother wanted it one way; I wanted it another. I wanted you to live.”

  “And so did I!” Auntie Pam snapped. “That is my child!”

  “I make no excuses. And I won’t pretend that what I did was right, but I did what I had to do to protect my child. And if I had to do it all again...I would.”

  Nobody said anything for a moment. I was waiting for Auntie Pam to explode, but she didn’t. She had every right to be pissed off, and she was, but the joy of seeing me, her own flesh and blood child, superceded her anger for my dad. She didn’t shout or scream.

  “For seventeen years I have been yearning and crying for my child. I have been mean to so many people because of all of that pent-up anger. And I can’t begin to tell you the many different ways I planned on hurting this man for stealing my child from me. But as much as I despise what has happened, I understand why he did what he did. Today, I am so happy and so relieved to know that this child is alive and healthy that I’m not concerned with vengeful thoughts. Nobody knows what this child has been through but Shante, Stone, and me. And despite everything that she has been through, she has literally turned herself into a magnificent young lady! I want to get to know you, Shante, and be a mother figure to you if you will allow me, but only in the current capacity. Alicia is your mother. The bond you two have established cannot, and should not, be broken.” Auntie Pam put my hand in Ms. Alicia’s hand and placed her hand on top of mine.

  “Thank you, Auntie Pam,” I said.

  “You’re welcome, dear.”

  “Dad?”

  “Yes, Butterfly?”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I spent the remainder of the day reminiscing with Auntie Pam about her side of the family. She told me that she, too, was a foster care child and that a similar situation had occurred between her and her biological mother. They worked side by side for years but never knew they were mother and daughter until her mother passed away. We decided to keep my being Auntie Pam’s child a secret between those who were in the kitchen that morning. It would be too complicated to have to explain to everybody. The aunt-niece relationship Auntie Pam and I had established was satisfactory for the both of us, and we agreed not to mention our mother-daughter relationship publically. I did meet her son, my little brother, Benjamin, but we were introduced as cousins. I felt sorry for Benjamin because if I was him, I would have wanted to know that I had a sister, but what could we do?

  My dad was staying in a halfway house downtown near Auburn Avenue. The funny thing is, it was right across the street from the shelter where Janae was living. I stopped by to see both of them Wednesday night and killed two birds with one stone. Joke! Joke! Get it? My dad’s name is Stone. Anyway, I visited Janae first and then I walked across the street to visit my dad. I stayed as long as I could and then I left when it was dark. He wasn’t supposed to leave the building but walked me safely to my car. What can I say? The man loved me.

  The next day was graduation. I slept for a few hours and then got back up. I practiced on my speech for the rest of the morning and afternoon. But no matter what I wrote down, I did not feel comfortable with it.

  Dr. Forrester drove me to my graduation. When Ms. Alicia and Brit went to go gather up the rest of our huge group, Dr. Forrester walked me backstage with the rest of my classmates. And there he was...

  “Hi, Daddy!” I hugged his neck so tight he could barely breathe.

  “You got it from here, Stone?” Dr. Forrester asked.

  “If the lady will allow me.” Dad raised his left arm for me to take it.

  “It will be my pleasure, sir.”

  “Well, let me go find our party. All that I have to do is listen closely and I’m sure I will hear Alicia’s voice.”

  Dr. Forrester started to walk away and I called him. “Dr. Forrester?”

  “Yes, Butterfly?”

  “I have another arm and it’s lonely.” I held up my left arm and Dr. Forrester took my arm in his. He and my dad escorted me backstage where my classmates were waiting.

  Jeremy pulled me to the side to talk before we walked out to take our seats. “They could not have selected a better valedictorian.”

  “You can have it! I have to give a speech and all that I have is a bunch of nonsense scribble-scrabble written down.”

  “Are you kidding me? You are a walking testimony. Just talk about your life! Your accomplishments! What you had to go through this year alone just to walk across that stage is more than some people experience in a lifetime!”

  “Those people don’t want to hear about me. They want to hear about a good girl who has lived a good life and that ain’t me.”

  “Well, do it for me then. This is probably the last time we’re going to see each other for a while, so do it for me.”

  “Don’t be trying to psych me out.”

  “I’m serious, say it for me. Forget about everybody else in this school when you get out there and tell me your story. I want to hear it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I love you.”

  I smiled and Jeremy and I walked away from each other and filed in line. I led the walk and as I took my place on the stage next to Mrs. Gary, the rest of my classmates took their seats directly below us.

  It was a long ceremony. It took some concentration, but I stayed focused and kept my eyes on whoever was speaking. I dozed off a few times, but my eyes were still open, a trick I learned while listening to Reb’s sermons. I woke up completely when they called the class of 2011 on stage to receive our diplomas.

  I was the last person to receive my diploma. While my classmates were returning to their seats, I went to the microphone to give the valedictory speech. I walked nervously to the microphone. I looked into the section of the audience where my family and friends were, and I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all of them.

  I saw my dad; my biological mom, Auntie Pam; and my adoptive mom and dad, Dr. Forrester and Ms. Alicia. My Pa-Pa! My uncle and aunts, Uncle Mike and Auntie Cynthia, Auntie Wanda, Uncle Robert and Auntie Tonita, Uncle Curtis and Auntie Tina, Auntie Lisa, Auntie Darsha, Auntie Val, Auntie Susan and Auntie Tazzy. My cousins were there: Bri, Alex, Little Mike and Benjamin. My friends were sitting next to the
m: Asia, Jheri, Valencia, Janae, Jacqua, and in between them and Toya was a sign with Keisha’s name, date of birth and date of death.

  I used to think my life was doomed before I ever came out of my mother’s womb. But there I stood preparing to speak into a live microphone before a congregation of folks waiting to hear my story. These would be the most important heartfelt words I had ever said in my life. I was nervous. My heart was beating fast. But I had to put my fear to the side, as I had done my entire life, and do what I had to do. Well, without further adieu went...

  “Good evening. My name is Shante Clemmons and I am the valedictorian of Duluth Christian Academy’s class of 2011. As I stand before all of you as representative of my class, I also stand before you as a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece, a protégé, and a friend.”

  I kept my eyes locked on Jeremy and I continued to talk.

  “I have read and heard many times the adage, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ If I had not been surrounded by people who felt that way, I would not be standing in front of you today. I’m not just speaking academically; I mean that literally. Through the nurturing love of others, I have completed the metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly. All that is left for me to do now is spread my wings and fly.

  “I have been friendless! I have been homeless! I have been foodless! And I have been clothes-less. I have been less of almost anything you can imagine. But for every less I have suffered, I have been rewarded abundantly. Because I have been very fortunate to be blessed with so many people who care so much about me.

  “I wanted to get up here and talk about my grades and my accomplishments, but in my heart, I know that everything I have accomplished was the result of someone else offering me their time and love. I am a living example of what happens when the entire village treats each child as if it was their very own!”

  Led by Ms. Alicia and my fan club, the entire audience stood and clapped. I waited for the ovation to stop and then continued to speak.

  “For the class of 2012, I can only hope that you are as blessed and as fortunate as I am to have people around you to care enough to say ‘yes’ when you need to hear yes, and ‘no’ when you need to hear no. With that being said, on behalf of the class of 2011,” I threw my cap in the air and then my classmates followed, “We outta here!”

  We screamed and jumped up and down. I walked off of the stage and my family and friends greeted me with opened arms.

  • • •

  Ms. Alicia suggested I ride home with Jeremy and my friends, and not with the family. That should have been a clue, but I had no idea that she wanted Jeremy to take me home to give her time to execute her plan. When we turned the corner onto our block, I saw all the cars and then I realized I had been duped!

  Ms. Alicia had planned a surprise graduation party for me, and the first person I saw when I walked through the door was Sparkle. I pushed through the crowd to get to her.

  “Come here, girl!” Sparkle hugged me and we rocked back and forth. “Oh my God, look at you! You’ve grown about six inches.”

  “Look at you, Sparkle, you’re so beautiful!” I said. “Where have you been?”

  “I went to California and married my first and only love. I’ve been keeping an eye on you, though.”

  “Keeping an eye on me? Why haven’t you been keeping in contact with me?”

  “Because you needed a clean break from the life, just like me.”

  “You’re married? Where’s your husband?”

  “He had to stay in California, but he sent a gift to give to you.”

  “What gift?”

  “Me!” Ma reached out her arms and laughed.

  “Maaa! Oh, my God! Ma!” I closed my eyes and hugged Ma as tight as I could. “I love you so much, Ma.”

  “I love you, too, baby.”

  I pulled away from Ma and looked at Sparkle, “Hold on, what do you mean your husband gave me a gift? Ma, are you the gift? Wait a minute! That means...”

  “Yes, I’m married to Stanley!”

  “No you’re not. I don’t believe that.” I shook my head no. “Nope! Ma, she’s lying, huh?”

  “No, she’s my daughter-in-law.”

  “Then why haven’t you contacted me?”

  “I keep telling you, I did not want to bring Harry to you. He knew nothing about my past relationship with Stanley and the Powells, so you were safe. But that man is a monster without a conscience. He would have hurt you if he found out where you were.”

  “I guess I understand.”

  “But I have been around. I saw you at Pastor Powell’s funeral.”

  “You were there?”

  “Yes, I flew in and flew back out without anyone knowing. I had to say good-bye to that old man. He changed my life in more ways than one.”

  “I would have been so surprised to see your face in that church that day.”

  “Speaking of surprises,” Ma Powell said. “We have another surprise for you, Shante.”

  “I’m so excited, I don’t know if I can handle any more surprises.”

  “I think you’re going to want to handle this one.”

  “What is it?”

  “Go in the kitchen and see.”

  “Okay, come on, Ma.”

  I grabbed Ma’s hand and went into the kitchen. When we walked in, Dr. Forrester and my dad were already there.

  “This is kind of a surprise for you and Stone, Butterfly.”

  “What’s going on, Doc?” Dad asked.

  “Bring them in, honey!” Dr. Forrester called out to Ms. Alicia.

  Ms. Alicia walked in with the two kids and then walked back out. Dr. Forrester put the kids on either side of him and put his hands on their shoulders.

  “I have two people who would like to introduce themselves to the both of you.” Dr. Forrester urged the girl to speak first. “Go on, sweetheart.”

  “Hi.”

  My dad sat in a chair and put his head in his hands. He knew immediately who they were.

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  “And what’s your name?”

  “My name is Natalie.”

  “Natalie?” I began to cry. “Oh, your name is Natalie?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I have a hug, Natalie?”

  “Yes.”

  I held out my arms and she ran to me. She spoke kind of childlike, but her body was very mature. She was a teenager and she looked like a teenager. She was only two years older than Alan, but she was so much taller than him. She reminded me so much of myself when I was her age.

  “Oh my goodness! I can’t believe this! Do you know who I am, sweetie?”

  “Yes, you’re my sister!”

  “Come here!” I pulled Natalie into my arms again, and gave her another hug. “And you must be Alan?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I have a hug, Alan?”

  Alan was shy and slightly hesitant to come at first, but he walked over slowly and gave me a hug. They looked so differently from the last time I had seen them. But then again, they were only five and three.

  My dad was apprehensive to talk to them. I could not even imagine what was going through his heart and his mind.

  “Do you know who that is, Natalie?”

  “Yes, I remember him. That’s my father!”

  Natalie ran to Daddy and squeezed his neck.

  “You remember me, baby?” Dad asked.

  “I remember everything about you. I remember the last time I saw you. I remember everything.”

  My dad had a special but different bond with each and every one of his children. Whatever he had with Natalie, even when she was at a very young age, was strong. I used to be jealous of their relationship because for the first five years of my life, I was my daddy’s little girl. And then all of a sudden, Natalie came out of nowhere and bam, she stole his heart. Of course she eventually became my baby doll, and now my baby has become a young lady.

  “Do you reme
mber me?” Natalie asked.

  “I remember everything about you, too, sweetheart.” Dad touched Alan’s stomach. “Do you remember me, little man?”

  Alan nodded his head yes.

  “Now somebody please tell me how this happened?” I asked. “Wow! How did you find them?”

  “It took some research and a lot of resources, but as you can see, we did it.”

  “After what happened, I can’t believe their grandparents let them come.”

  “Their grandparents forfeited custody years ago. They were placed in foster care, like you. Thank God they were living in the same foster home.”

  “So what does that mean, Doc? Does that mean I can get my kids back?”

  “Not exactly.” Dr. Forrester did not want to bring up my father’s criminal activity in front of the children. “Considering your current circumstances, you probably can’t get them right now. But we’re working on it.”

  “Come with me, kids.” Ma held Natalie’s and Alan’s hands and led them out of the kitchen.

  After Ma walked out, Dad asked, “Then what happens to them?”

  “This was an unofficial visit, Stone. They have to go back.”

  “Will I ever see them again?”

  “Of course. Stanley is working with the state of California to see what we can do to get your kids back to Georgia.”

  “How long do you think it will take?”

  “I have no idea, brother. But we’re going to be working as fast as we can.”

  “Eight long years, man. And all I get is one day?”

  “Actually, they don’t have to be back in Los Angeles until Sunday evening.”

  “I guess this is better than nothing.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Daddy. We’ll get them back. But for right now, let’s just enjoy the time we have with them.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, sweetheart.” Dad smiled and began to leave the room. “I’m going to spend every waking second with them.”

  “I think that’s a good idea, Stone.”

  After my dad left the room, I asked Dr. Forrester again, “How were you able to pull this off, Dr. Forrester? I need details.”

  “Stone gave me information on the grandparents in Los Angeles and then I contacted Mrs. Powell for help. She told me her son was an attorney and I gave the information to him. He tracked down the grandparents and we found out that after they took the children to Los Angeles, they never assumed legal parental authority. They turned them over to the State of California, and like you, they were passed around from foster family to foster family. Luckily for them, we found both of them in the same home.”