In Your Honor

by Heidi Hutchinson

  He yanked the curtain back and glared at the two of them. “What the hell is going on?” he demanded.

  “Sorry, Blake,” Sway grimaced.

  “Yeah, sorry, Blake,” Harrison seconded, dropping his chin to his chest.

  Blake rolled his eyes. He couldn't remember why he'd disliked being an only child growing up. “Go to sleep, dummies,” he scolded, looking at his phone for the time. “We still have four hours before we have to be awake.”

  “Okay,” they mumbled in unison and crawled back into their respective bunks.

  The quiet settled around him again and he started to drift back to sleep with the sway of the bus.

  “Blake?”

  He sighed heavily. “What, Harrison?”

  “You don't think I'm a whore, do you?”

  Blake hated how that question made him want to laugh. He really wanted to get some sleep.

  “Can we please have this discussion in the morning?” he pleaded in exasperation.

  “Fine,” Harrison grumbled, and Blake heard him roll over in aggravation. “I'm not a whore.”

  “Yes, you are,” Sway retorted from across the aisle.

  Blake groaned and slipped on his noise-canceling headphones.

  ***

  Lucy pushed her thick hair back out of her face and squinted into the sunlight. She usually really liked playing outdoor shows, but it was unbelievably hot. She rolled her shoulders back, trying to get her shirt to come unstuck from her skin. The sweat was becoming a problem.

  Blake gave her a friendly wave as he approached Greg at the sound board. It was the cool-guy wave that James Dean used to do, and Blake had picked it up sometime in high school after having seen Giant at least a dozen times. It had a combination effect on her. Part of her thought it was endearing and got all sentimental, and the other part was just sad. They'd been back on the road for a week now and she hadn't really spoken to him. Not that they were avoiding each other—she saw him in passing and they had had small amounts of chit chat here and there. But no real conversations. Not like they used to.

  Not since she'd spent the week with Shane.

  That was probably how these things go, she speculated. They were just friends after all, and the closer she got to Shane, the more Blake would fade into the background. That was the healthy evolution of their relationship and it made sense. But it also caused a tiny spark of panic to settle in her stomach.

  She tried to push it away, ignore it. Tell it to shut up. She had no reason to hold onto Blake, even if it was only in her head. Was it the very real possibility that she could end up being with Shane for the long haul that had her on edge? Yes, that had to be it.

  She missed Shane. He was in New York now, being important and she was proud of him. But she wished she could see him more often than every couple of weeks. The nightly phone calls helped, but nothing could truly compare to being held in his arms.

  She wrapped up sound check and was planning on heading straight back to the air-conditioned bus to wait it out before the show. This heat was ungodly.

  “Lucky, wait up,” Blake called to her as he jogged to catch up.

  She paused and waited for him to fall in step next to her, trying to maintain composure even though her heart kicked up a notch at his approach.

  “I was wondering if you had a few minutes before the show to go over some things.”

  “Don't you have sound check right now?” she pointed out.

  “Yeah, I mean, when we're done.” Something was different in his voice—no, in his face.

  “Sure,” she replied as she opened the door to the bus and felt the cold air flood out, “I'll be in here.”

  “Sounds good, see you in a bit.” Blake smiled and then jogged back to the stage area.

  That was weird, she thought. He seemed so... invigorated.

  Digging through her luggage, she changed into a fresh tank top that Shane had bought her and a new pair of shorts. She was not going to wear jeans on stage tonight. It was too blasted hot.

  Finally comfortable, she grabbed her David Warren book and sat cross-legged on the couch.

  It seemed like a few minutes but it must have been longer before Blake knocked on the door of the bus and let himself in.

  “David Warren, huh?” he asked as he got a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “Yeah, have you read it?” she asked, marking her place and setting the book aside.

  “Not really, I know the guy though.” He sat in the chair across from her, cracking the seal on the water bottle.

  “How do you know him?” She felt her eyebrows push together and tried to ignore the little rivers of sweat that traveled down his neck and into his shirt collar.

  “Well, not as well as Carl or Sway, but I've met the guy. He's cool.”

  He took a long drink of his water and she saw it again, the thing she couldn't identify. He looked like he always looked. Like Blake. Torn up jeans, slim fit-tee with some array of skulls on the front, heavy biker boots, at least a day's worth of growth on his face, dark hair sticking out all over the place. So what was different? Was it his eyes? Or his skin? He looked... rested.

  She shook it off and smiled pleasantly. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  “We have a couple of really good, really trustworthy agents that we'd like you to at least meet with.” He spoke slowly as if he were afraid she'd get up and run out the door.

  “Oh man, Blake,” she was already shaking her head. “You know that's not in my future.”

  “No, I don't know that. You're talented as hell, Lucky.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You have a gift and you're a natural entertainer and I know, for a fact, that this used to be all you wanted to do at one time.”

  “Things change, Blake,” she protested solemnly. “People change.”

  His eyes lost focus for a second and he looked down. “Yeah, people do change.” When he looked up again, he was back to business. “If you look me in the eye and tell me straight that you have no desire to do this for a living, then I'll believe you.”

  She bit her lower lip. So that was how he was going to play it. Use her own integrity against her.

  “Lucky,” he began, seeing she wasn't quite ready to turn the offer down yet. “We'd watch your back. You'd have control over your work and your schedule. And if you get out there and hate it, then we'd terminate the contract. No strings.”

  Lucy rubbed her forehead with her fingertips in frustration. Could this be a reality? She'd wanted to follow in her father's footsteps for so long. Planned and plotted and schemed for most of her formative years. It had seemed so far out of reach that she had let the dream go. Buried it in a box.

  “I... I guess I figured the time had passed,” she said quietly.

  “No, it's never too late to follow your dreams.” The steady confidence in Blake's voice made her look back up. She studied his face again, trying to pinpoint the thing that was different. Something in his voice, his posture, his mannerisms. He was the same... but not.

  “Where did you go for break?” she abruptly changed the subject, catching him off guard, and he chuckled in surprise.

  “I went to see Mama.” He smiled at her. “She says 'hi,' by the way.”

  Lucy was shocked. That was not the answer she was expecting. “For the whole week?” she clarified, not sure if she believed him.

  “Yup, the whole week. Saw your daddy too.” He chuckled again. “Stop changing the subject.”

  Lucy narrowed her eyes at him. “But I have all these questions now, you can't expect me not to ask them.”

  “We have plenty of time to go over our vacations,” Blake chided. He sighed and stood up. “It's almost time for you to go on. Why don't you think about it, talk to Shane and your daddy about it.”

  Lucy was flabbergasted. Blake had spent a week at home? Had seen her daddy? She talked to her daddy every night, he hadn't even mentioned it.

  Blake was at the door now and Lucy stood up, reac
hing out to stop him. He looked down at her hand on his arm and she quickly let go, but his eyes remained on the spot where her hand had briefly rested.

  “When will we talk again?” She wanted to point out that they hadn't really had any time together since they had gotten back.

  He met her eyes and gave her a lopsided grin. “I'll find you.”

  ***

  Lucy didn't have to wait too long. The next day, Luke called a mandatory band meeting before sound check at the next venue. Blake was glad for it because he hadn't been able to catch a break to see her since the day before. Being respectable had its obligations.

  The musicians settled into the seats of the auditorium. Blake deliberately chose one next to Lucy while Harrison sat behind him with Sway.

  “I'm gonna have to change my number,” Harrison grumbled.

  “I told you,” Sway said with disapproval.

  “Shut up, Sway.”

  “Still trying to figure out if you're a whore?” Blake asked over his shoulder.

  “I'm not, stop saying that.” Harrison's face was turning red.

  “Who's a whore?” Lucy turned around with a frown, and Blake held in his laughter.

  “Ugh,” Harrison groaned. He leaned forward and looked at Lucy. “You're an honest person, right, Lucy?”

  “Always,” she confirmed with a curt nod.

  “Do you think I'm a whore?” he asked, his brown eyes pleading with her to tell him that he wasn't.

  “Hmm,” she said, looking thoughtful. “Have you had sex or debauched yourself in exchange for money?”

  “What?! No!” Harrison looked horrified, and Blake had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing.

  “Then what are you basing this on?” Lucy questioned.

  “I called that girl, Slappy, from Mordrid the Destroyer? We met up for some drinks and we kinda made out a little bit.” Harrison cleared his throat and looked into his lap.

  “Tell her the rest,” Sway prompted, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “I've also kinda been seeing this girl that I met in Myrtle Beach and they both call me all the time now and the other day I got them confused.” The words came out in one long string and Blake sighed in pity for his friend.

  “Oh geez, Harry,” Lucy shook her head in disapproval.

  “I told you, you're a one-woman-at-a-time guy,” Sway stated matter-of-factly.

  “Well, you're not a whore,” Lucy explained sympathetically, “but you are a little slutty.”

  Harrison hung his head in shame and Blake finally let his laugh out.

  “I need everyone's attention,” Luke addressed the group, and they all fell silent.

  Their fearless leader looked a little worse for wear, Blake observed. But he'd been busy too. With Lenny flying back and forth to New York for different meetings and the increase in radio and television spots at this point in the tour, he'd probably gotten very little sleep. Blake did not envy the man.

  “I have some exciting news. We've been asked to fill in for a last minute drop-out at the VMAs. It's in two weeks in L.A. and we all get to go.”

  Chad raised his hand. “Can we bring a plus one?”

  “Yes,” Luke nodded, “you can all bring dates if you want.” He ran his hand through his hair and cleared his throat. “I would really like to address the volatile history of the VMAs briefly. A lot of artists have taken this awards show as an opportunity to make some sort of statement. We're rock stars, our livelihood is our statement, we don't need to act like dicks that night. You understand?”

  Murmured chuckles went around the group.

  “I mean it, guys. Let's make rock and roll look good.” Luke raised his eyebrows until he got mumbles of agreement and head nods. Then his cell phone rang as if on cue, and he was off to his next task.

  Blake turned to Lucy, who was very quiet. “Have you thought about what we talked about?”

  She snapped out of her daze and looked at him. “Um, yeah, but I'm still thinking.”

  “Where are you?” he asked, frowning at her faraway look.

  She blushed deeply. “Nowhere, it's stupid.”

  “No, what's bothering you?” he pressed as the rest of the group got up and moved on.

  Lucy's eyes flitted around the hall at the people moving around her. She bit her lip nervously. “I'm gonna have to dress up, aren't I?” she almost whispered.

  Blake felt himself smiling. “Oh yeah...” he nodded in understanding, “that's not really your thing.” It was so far from her thing that he was having a hard time picturing her getting dressed up for an event of that magnitude. And then prom night flashed through his mind and he could picture it quite easily.

  “I'm gonna look like a hick,” she blurted out, bringing his focus back and making him grin.

  Blake shook his head at her anxiety. “Don't worry about that. Get Lenny to help you, she knows everyone. I'm sure she has a team on standby for things like this.”

  “You think so?” She visibly swallowed, but her eyes met his and he could see her beginning to calm down again.

  “Yeah,” he confirmed confidently, “and you should see if Shane can make it. He'll help you walk in whatever heels they put you in.”

  Her face eased into a smile at the mention of Shane.

  “Thanks, Blake,” she said quietly, “you're a really good friend.”

  Chapter 18

  Rope

  The day of the awards show came swiftly, and Lucy still wasn't sure she was prepared. She'd taken Blake's advice and had gone to Lenny, who indeed had a plan.

  They had arrived in L.A. the day before and she had tried on more dresses than she could count. Lenny finally talked her into a short gold number with skinny straps, but Lucy was worried about the length. It only came to mid-thigh. The heels that matched made her a good four inches taller and she wasn't sure she'd be able to walk at all.

  “It looks amazing on you,” Lenny said sincerely, trying to get her to believe it.

  “I feel like a disco ball,” Lucy grumbled.

  “Well, you look like a goddess,” Lenny smirked. “What do you want to do with your hair?”

  “I don't know, shave it off?” Lucy suggested helpfully.

  “Ha. Ha.” Lenny gave her an eye roll. “I'll get you an appointment with my mom's stylist. He owes me a favor anyway.”

  “This seems like a lot of trouble.” Lucy was trying to think of a way to get out of going at all at this point. “Maybe I should skip the whole thing.”

  “It's too late for that, Shane's gonna be here tonight.” Lenny handed her credit card to the attendant and checked her watch.

  “I'm trying really hard to not freak out,” Lucy admitted after Lenny unzipped the dress for her to change out of.

  “The girl who doesn't get nervous in front of thousands is having an issue with going to an awards show.” Lenny crossed her arms over her chest in disbelief.

  “Totally different things.” Lucy went back into the dressing room to put her jeans on. She couldn't wait to get out of L.A.

  “I know what you mean,” Lenny said in empathy. “I hate getting all fancy too. But every once in awhile it can be kinda fun.”

  Lucy pulled the curtain back and raised an eyebrow at Lenny. “Maybe for you, you're an athlete. I lack certain things that you seem to have in spades. Like coordination.”

  “C'mon, I'll buy you a greasy burger, you'll feel right at home in no time.” Lenny ignored the horrified expression of the sales clerk and Lucy smiled. She loved how Lenny was never afraid to be herself, no matter the circumstances. She wished she had that kind of confidence.

  “I am excited to see Shane,” Lucy said as she delicately tucked the garment bag under her arm when the clerk handed it over. This was easily the most expensive article of clothing she'd ever worn. Even her prom dress had been a second-hand purchase. And she never got far enough along in her engagement to Frank to try on wedding dresses.

  “I'm so glad you two hit it off.” Lenny pushed ou
t the door of the boutique and got into the waiting town car. Lucy followed close behind.

  “I am too.” Lucy couldn't help smiling wider as she thought of Shane. She hadn't seen him in weeks and she missed his lips. And his smile. And his hands.

  “And you and Blake are... good?” Lenny asked as the car pulled into traffic and started them back to their hotel. She looked out the window and not right at Lucy's face. They'd been friends long enough now that Lucy recognized this as Lenny's way of asking a hard question while trying to make the recipient feel comfortable.

  “Yeah, we're great actually,” Lucy answered quickly, but felt the frown on her face. Which only made her frown more. “We're friends. The weird stuff seems to have passed.”

  “That's good,” Lenny responded, but there was a tightness in her voice. Lucy didn't want to explore it because she was pretty sure it would match the tightness in her chest.

  What Lucy couldn't tell her friend was that it was still weird for her. And she had no idea why. She tried not to think about it too often because she knew she shouldn't. And she was scared that if she analyzed it too much she'd discover something unpleasant about herself. But then again, she'd never had great results with stuffing something down. She tried to deal with things honestly and as they happened. This was unnatural and it made her uncomfortable.

  They arrived back at the hotel and Lenny hooked an arm through hers. “I really am glad that you're with Shane.” Her tone still held a hint of apprehension and Lucy noticed. “When I saw him in New York last week, all he could talk about was you. It was almost impossible to get any real business done. I think he likes you.”

  Lucy smiled down at her shoes as the elevator doors opened for them. “I like him too.”

  Lenny pushed the button for her floor and the button for Lucy's. “I'm gonna check on Luke and change my clothes. You want to meet us down in the lobby in an hour? Luke wants a whole family dinner type of thing.”

  That meant Blake would be there. Lucy's stomach filled with lead butterflies. She tried to shake it off. What a strange reaction. She'd seen Blake tons of times, they had even had coffee in the lobby together this morning with Mike. The heavy internal ricochet had been there then as well. Lucy didn't know why. And the not knowing was what was bothering her.