Squishy Taylor and the Mess-Makers

by Ailsa Wild

  On the tram, my bonus sisters and I squash onto the same seat. Jessie picks up one of the free papers and starts reading it. (It sounds weird that a kid would read the paper, but it’s actually normal for Jessie.) She rustles a page and says, ‘Ha. Hey, you guys, look at this.’

  She slides the paper onto Vee’s lap. The headline says: PHOTOS OF CHILD STAR’S RUINED HOTEL ROOM LEAKED BY HOUSEKEEPING STAFF.

  Underneath, but still in big writing, it says, ‘Third night of chaos in a row,’ states secret source.

  The pictures show a hotel room like a war zone. Sheets have been ripped up and there’s food smeared on the floor. Sections of wallpaper, at kid height, have been torn and are hanging in flaps. It’s really bad.

  Carmeline Clancy says she ‘didn’t do it’, but refuses to explain, the newspaper says.

  The bit that makes me angriest is the quotes around ‘didn’t do it’. Like they’re saying she’s lying, without properly saying it.

  When we get off at our tram stop, the puppy is sitting by a side door of the hotel. His fur looks a bit shinier than the last time I saw him. I want to run across the road and cuddle him, but by the time the lights have changed, he’s gone.

  ‘Where is that poor child’s mother?’ Mum asks on Skype that night. Even though Carmeline Clancy isn’t really poor, or a child.

  ‘Probably Geneva,’ I say, which makes Mum feel bad, even though I only said it to be funny.

  ‘I mean, whose job is it to keep her safe?’ Mum asks.

  Mum’s life mission is to make sure everybody’s safe. That’s why she works at the UN. She knows I’m fine with Dad and Alice. She’s looking after the rest of the world.

  ‘Who is looking after her?’ Mum says again.

  ‘The meanest lady in the universe,’ I say, remembering the death look.

  But Mum ignores me. ‘Whatever Carmeline is guilty of,’ she says, ‘this kind of public shaming of a child –’

  ‘But she didn’t do it,’ I say, not listening. ‘She wouldn’t.’

  I know I’m right.

  The next morning, as we walk past the hotel to our tram stop, we all dawdle and try to look in. I’m desperate to talk to Carmeline Clancy, and now I think she needs my help.

  ‘I’m going to go meet her after school,’ I say.

  ‘You can’t,’ Jessie says. ‘They’ll never let you in. Anyway, why would you want to meet someone like that?’

  ‘Jessie, you’re the one who always talks about evidence,’ I say. ‘What about innocent until proven guilty?’

  Vee doesn’t say anything, but I can tell she agrees with me. Vee and I both love Carmeline Clancy. We loved her first.

  We cross at the lights. The tram is coming slowly up the hill.

  ‘What about those pictures from the paper?’ Jessie says. ‘Aren’t they proof?’

  ‘They’re proof that someone made the mess,’ I say. ‘Not that it was her.’

  ‘Well, who else –?’

  ‘The hotel staff?’ suggests Vee.

  ‘The Nanny could have done it,’ I say, even though I know she probably didn’t. ‘Anyway. Someone needs to prove it wasn’t Carmeline.’

  ‘And how are you going to do that?’ Jessie asks.

  I explain everything as we climb onto the tram.

  ‘That’s it?’ Jessie asks, as the tram wobbles to a start. ‘That’s your plan?’

  I nod.

  ‘Just walk in and pretend we’re staying there?’ she repeats. ‘What kind of plan is that?’

  Jessie raises her eyebrows and Vee grins.

  ‘And once you’re in, then what?’ Jessie asks. ‘How do you know where to find her? Every grown-up in the hotel is going to know you’re a fake in about one second.’

  ‘Well, do you have a better plan?’ I ask.

  Somehow, by the end of school, Jessie and Vee have decided they’re coming too. Jessie is still saying it’s a terrible idea, but she secretly can’t resist an adventure.

  We decide school uniforms would be a dead giveaway, so we go home to get changed first. Baby is howling and arching out of Dad’s arms. Dad’s trying to get him into the sling, but Baby kicks his legs out of the holes faster than Dad can get them in.

  ‘Can we go to the park?’ I ask, pulling on Baby’s toes. The park is half a block away and there are no roads, so mostly they let us if we ask.

  Baby stops howling and reaches his fat little arms out to me. He snuggles his face into my neck. It’s soft and tickly and it makes me laugh. Baby giggles too. He’s super cute.

  ‘We’ll take Baby,’ Jessie says and I meet her eyes.

  Brilliant. Grown-ups are way more likely to treat you with respect if you’re carrying a Baby.

  Dad helps me strap Baby into the sling on my front. He tightens all the clips. Baby is pretty heavy, but he’s still gurgle-laughing and I like cuddling him.

  With Baby strapped on my front, we walk straight through the front doors of the hotel. The Fancy Men don’t even blink at us. I pause in the foyer, feeling a bit nervous. It’s so much nicer than the foyer of our building. The lights are soft and there are mirrors sparkling everywhere.

  Jessie strides to the lift and smiles at the woman waiting beside it. Vee and I follow and the woman makes a cooing noise at Baby. We let her swipe her card and press the buttons. She gets out on the second floor, so we do too. It’s quiet and carpeted with no windows. Next to me, there’s a trolley with lots of folded towels and soap and plastic-wrapped biscuits.

  ‘Now what?’ Vee whispers.

  We stand there as the woman disappears through a door partway down the corridor. We stare at each other. How are we going to find Carmeline Clancy in this building? It’s enormous.

  ‘Should we start knocking on all the doors?’ I ask.

  ‘I told you it was impossible,’ Jessie says.

  Vee starts to giggle. ‘Maybe we should shout her name really loud,’ she suggests.

  ‘Or go back down and mug the Fancy Men for their security cards,’ I say.

  All three of us crack up with laughter. We stand there in the corridor, clutching each other’s arms. Baby gurgles and squeals like he understands the joke.

  The lift dings behind us. We all spin to see Carmeline Clancy’s scary Nanny step out of the lift.

  She stares at us.

  I glance sideways at Jessie and Vee. They both look really guilty.

  ‘What’s going on here?’ the Nanny asks. She folds her arms and frowns at us.

  Carmeline Clancy steps out of the lift behind her.

  ‘We came to meet Carmeline,’ I say, trying to sound brave, but my voice sounds wavery.

  ‘Oh, no you did not,’ says the Nanny.

  ‘Hey there,’ Carmeline says. ‘How’s it going?’ She reaches out to Jessie, who’s the closest, and shakes her hand.

  She sounds so nice, and so much like she does on YouTube, that I want to just tell her how much I like her. But the Nanny doesn’t even let me breathe in.

  ‘Don’t you kids even talk to her. I’m sending this lift down and I’m calling security to meet you at the ground floor.’

  I’m so nervous that I squeeze Baby so hard he starts crying. I try to bounce him quiet, but he just gets louder.

  ‘But –’ Carmeline Clancy begins.

  The Nanny shuts her down. ‘But nothing, miss. We are not having strangers breaking into the hotel on top of everything else.’

  Carmeline looks sparklingly angry, which is exactly how I feel. But Baby is howling right next to my head and I can’t think. In the middle of everything, I hear a dog barking down the corridor – but the Nanny is basically bulldozing us into the lift.

  We tumble into the foyer and two Fancy Men take our elbows and lead us out.

  ‘You kids aren’t allowed to play in here, you understand,’ one of them says. He doesn’t sound mean, but he’s talking like I’m in kinder. I wonder how long it will be before grown-ups stop baby-talking me.

  As we walk back to our own building, Baby fin
ally calms down.

  ‘Well,’ Jessie says. ‘You just met Carmeline Clancy.’

  We reach our building and press for the lift. Vee looks at Baby, strapped to my chest. ‘Hey, what’s Baby got?’

  I look down. He’s waving a plastic-wrapped biscuit. He must have grabbed it off the trolley.

  ‘Our Baby’s a thief,’ Jessie says.

  We all burst out laughing.

  ‘Look out, Baby, that scary Nanny is gonna get you,’ Vee says between snorts.

  ‘Did anyone else hear a dog barking?’ I say.

  ‘No,’ Vee says, laughing harder.

  ‘You know, Carmeline actually seemed really nice,’ Jessie says, getting serious again.

  ‘Well, yeah,’ I say. We already knew she was nice.

  ‘We probably need to get to the bottom of this mess thing,’ Jessie says as the lift opens into our corridor.

  Vee lets out a great whooping cheer. ‘What was that for?’ I ask.

  ‘Jessie just signed up.’

  ‘Signed up to what?’ Jessie asks.

  ‘To the Carmeline-Clancy-is-Innocent Mission,’ Vee says.

  The house smells like frying garlic and Dad is standing by the stove. I unstrap Baby and sit him on the tiles by Dad’s trouser cuffs. We all collapse on the couch and talk quietly together so Dad can’t hear.

  ‘If it’s not Carmeline Clancy, someone’s framing her,’ Jessie whispers. ‘Otherwise why would they let her take the blame?’

  ‘Exactly,’ I say and Vee nods.

  ‘There’s lots of people who could be framing her,’ says Jessie. ‘Let’s make a list.’ She loves making lists. She gets out a neat little notebook and writes:

  • Hotel cleaners

  • A jealous rock-climber who wants to be the movie star

  • The Fancy Men

  • Other hotel guests

  ‘The Nanny,’ I say.

  ‘Squishy, she’s looking after Carmeline. It can’t be her,’ Vee says.

  ‘But she’s got the best opportunity,’ I argue.

  Jessie writes: The Nanny

  ‘OK, what about motive?’ Jessie asks. ‘What would the suspects get out of framing her?’

  ‘Um, the hotel gets its picture on the news?’ Vee suggests.

  ‘The Nanny’s job gets more interesting,’ I say.

  Trying to figure this out on a piece of paper feels too hard. I just want to do something. I start doing swoopkicks over the top of the couch and landing on the floor behind it. Vee laughs and does a torpedo roll over to land on top of me.

  ‘Oof!’ I say and we both laugh.

  ‘Guys,’ Jessie says. ‘We need to take this seriously!’

  Vee’s squashing my lungs so I can’t talk properly, but I say, ‘You know how … we take this … seriously?’

  ‘How?’ they chorus.

  I heave Vee off my back. ‘We signal Boring Lady and tell her.’

  The others stare at me, a bit disappointed.

  ‘I know,’ I say, feeling noble. ‘It would be more fun to solve it ourselves. But this isn’t just fun. What about Carmeline Clancy? Somebody is ruining her life.’

  They agree, a bit reluctantly.

  Jessie digs out the signalling scarf Boring Lady gave us. It’s tucked into a square under Jessie’s rows of folded socks. She shakes it out. It’s enormous and red. Vee clambers up onto the desk. She can’t reach the curtain rail, so I stand

  next to the desk and she puts one foot on my shoulder and holds onto the wall.

  ‘Oh, careful of the telescope. Careful!’ Jessie says. The telescope is exactly where Vee would land if she fell.

  Vee dangles the scarf over the curtain rail. It slips off. She tries again. It slips again.

  Jessie goes to get bulldog clips.

  ‘They’re for my sheet music,’ she says, passing them up to Vee. ‘I’ll need them back.’

  Vee clips the scarf to our curtains so it hangs almost over our whole window. The light in our bedroom turns a dark red, like sunset.

  ‘Dinner!’ Dad calls.

  Alice is doing an evening lecture, so it’s just us and Dad and Baby. I sit near Baby and spoon rice onto the table in front of him. He’s so funny. He eats some, smears some on the table, and throws the rest on the floor. We’re all laughing at him, and he’s laughing and slapping the table with his palms, when the door buzzes.

  We look at each other. The door only buzzes when friends are coming – and usually we already know they’re on their way.

  Dad pushes back his chair and goes to the door speaker. ‘Hello? Oh, hello, yes, yes, certainly. No, that’s fine, we’re sitting down to dinner, but if they signalled you? Yes, come on up. Eleventh floor.’

  OK, that was fast.

  Dad looks a bit amused and a bit worried. ‘You kids signalled the Chief of Special Secret Undercover Operations?’ he asks.

  We nod.

  ‘Whatever for?’

  ‘Umm,’ I say. For some reason it feels a bit embarrassing now and I don’t want to meet anybody’s eyes.

  Boring Lady is at the door before we can explain anything. She’s wearing a grey suit with a blue scarf tied neatly at her throat. Dad offers her Alice’s chair, but she shakes her head. She stands at the top of the table, looking quickly into each of our faces.

  ‘I don’t have much time. What do you need?’

  So the story of Carmeline Clancy tumbles out: how she’s being framed, maybe by the Nanny, or the Fancy Men. (‘Fancy Men?’ Dad asks.) We explain how Vee and I loved Carmeline Clancy first, how we’re worried and we want to prove she’s innocent.

  Boring Lady listens, but starts shaking her head long before we’re finished. We trail off.

  ‘I’m afraid I can’t help you,’ she says. ‘I’ve got a lot of other pressing things to do, and this is just not my area.’

  ‘But what about Carmeline Clancy and her movie?’ Vee asks.

  ‘I’m sure the noise will die down in the next few days,’ says Boring Lady. ‘She’s got a qualified nanny. She’ll be fine.’

  Like that scary lady is going to fix anything.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I have to keep going.’ Boring Lady really does look sorry.

  Dad walks her to the lift, leaving us alone at the table.

  ‘That’s it,’ says Jessie. ‘It’s just us. We’re going to have to prove this on our own.’

  ‘We need more information,’ Jessie says, rolling over in the bunk beneath me after lights out. Dad is being super-strict about our online time, so we can’t google anything. It makes Jessie twitchy.

  ‘We need to know who is around,’ Jessie says. ‘And how they feel about her.’

  ‘The criminal could be anyone,’ Vee says from the top bunk. She sounds kind of excited. ‘Could be a rival rock-climber. Or a rival filmmaker. Anyone.’

  ‘You know what we need to do?’ I say, sitting up, because this is going to be fun. ‘We need to get close to her, so we can figure out what’s going on.’

  ‘Like a stake-out,’ Vee says.

  I can feel Jessie shaking her head. ‘A stake-out is for a place,’ she says. Jessie cares about how you use words. ‘We need to shadow her.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘Mission: shadow.’

  ‘Starting tomorrow?’ asks Vee.

  ‘Straight after school,’ says Jessie. ‘We’ll go down to where they’re filming.’

  Vee is so excited after school that she’s basically jumping out the tram windows.

  When we get home, Alice grabs us muesli bars. She tells us to go straight to the park and not cross any roads. We nod. We’re not going to the park, but a nod isn’t a promise.

  They’re filming at one end of the street behind our building. There are rows of orange witches hats, bright lights on tall metal stands, silvery umbrellas and at least five enormous video cameras. Three white trucks are parked at the other end. People with clipboards and lanyards are running around like they have to save the world. Others are standing with takeaway coffee cups, just tal
king.

  There’s a brand-new fence blocking the way, and a small group of people are gathered along it, watching. You can tell straight away that they’re nothing to do with the film. They just want to watch. A little bit like us, except that we’re on a mission.

  We stand with them, our chests up to the fence, eating our muesli bars and watching, but it’s pretty boring. We’re miles from Carmeline. We can hardly even see her, let alone hear what people say. There’s no way we can find out who’s framing her from here.

  ‘We have to get closer,’ says Jessie.

  I just love Jessie. She’s so responsible, but once she wants to know something, nothing gets in her way.

  I can’t see how we’ll get any closer, though. It’s like a desert of concrete between here and the filming. If we started to run across, everyone would see.

  Vee is on tiptoe, squinting.

  I try to tell her it’s hopeless. ‘You’re not gonna see anything from here.’

  ‘I know, I know,’ she says. ‘But isn’t that Not-John’s grate?’

  I stare down the side of the building. Of course it is.

  One time, we met a runaway boy who said his name was John but it wasn’t. He lived in our basement and crawled in and out through a grate onto the footpath. His grate is right there – in the middle of all the action.

  ‘Vee,’ Jessie says. ‘You are a genius.’

  Vee grins.

  We all turn and bolt, leaving the other watchers to the boringness. I smile. We’re gonna be so much closer than they are.

  The stairs down to the basement car park are quicker than waiting for the lift. We barrel down them. Lots of the parking spaces are empty – I guess because people like Alice are still at work.

  Not-John’s grate is above car park 503. He used to climb the bonnet of the car there, like a step to get in and out. Right now there is no car. The grate is higher than our heads, but I can see feet going backwards and forwards up there.

  There. Those are Carmeline’s, I can tell by the kid-sized feet and the bright leggings. And those black trousers and serious boots next to her belong to the scary Nanny.