Squishy Taylor and the Mess-Makers

by Ailsa Wild

  There’s a pipe running along the wall at about knee height. I step onto it and grab for the grate. Then I heave up so my tummy is on the sill and my face is pushed against the bars. The old green public toilet across the footpath is partly blocking my view.

  Someone calls, ‘Take seven!’ and the feet around me start walking away. They head across the road to where the filming is.

  ‘What’s happening?’ Vee asks, trying to jump up beside me. There’s not enough room for both of us.

  ‘Hang on,’ I say.

  I give the grate a little shove. It pops out of place, leaving a Squishy Taylor-sized hole to squeeze through.

  I’m crouched behind the back of a movie truck, watching Vee struggle out from the grate-hole. It’s pretty hard to get up, and it’s a tight squeeze to shimmy through.

  There. She’s out. She turns around to peer back into the car park.

  I see Jessie’s face pop up, then disappear, as though she slipped off the pipe. This is going to be pretty hard for Jessie. She doesn’t really climb anything, ever.

  Then Jessie’s hand reaches up and Vee grabs it and tries to haul her out.

  Jessie says, ‘Ow! Ow, stop.’ Her hand rips away from Vee’s.

  I glance around. We’re partly hidden by the toilet building and the movie truck, and luckily no-one is watching us right now. I creep back to see if I can help. Jessie is down there in the dark, rubbing her hand, which looks sore.

  ‘I don’t think I can do it. You go without me,’ she says. ‘Just make sure you take note of all suspicious activity.’

  I glance behind me. Carmeline Clancy is partway up the building. There’s a camera sliding up a long pole, following her as she goes. I desperately want to watch. I think about being noble and trying to get Jessie out. But the filming is too fun.

  ‘OK,’ I say, and leave her in the dark basement. I creep along the side of the truck, getting closer and closer to the filming. Vee is right behind me. We crouch in the shadow of the truck and watch.

  Carmeline is at the seventh-floor level now. It’s really high. The camera is sliding up alongside her at a slow, steady speed. I wish I was climbing the building with a camera beside me. The harness she’s wearing is almost invisible. Her safety rope goes all the way up to the roof. I guess there’s a rigging point up there.

  I remember our mission. Who are all these people, and who is framing Carmeline? Could it be one of the camera operators? Where’s the Nanny?

  ‘Oi, you!’ says a familiar voice. ‘I know you.’

  It’s the Nanny. She’s over by the cameras and she’s pointing directly at me. She looks really determined.

  Vee sees her too and groans. ‘Oh no.’

  The Nanny starts striding towards us. We’ve got two options. Turn ourselves over or run.

  We run. Of course.

  I dodge around the side of the truck and under the leg of a big black tripod. There’s a row of folding chairs and I skid around them, bumping a table with croissants on it. Vee thuds after me and the Nanny is right behind her. I knock into a boy in an apron. ‘Sorry, really sorry,’ I say. He half-laughs as I duck away from him and keep running.

  The Nanny shouts, ‘You kids, stop right now!’

  I can hear the people at the fence laughing at us. I run past a row of cameras, and step on a clipboard that’s on the ground. It slides like a skateboard under my feet. I skid off it and keep running.

  I hear a familiar dog barking beside me. It’s that puppy. He’s got a big grin on his face and his tongue is lolling out one side. He’s leaping around ridiculously at my feet, like I’ve just asked him to play a game. I want to pick him up and cuddle him, but there’s no time. I reach the building on the other side of the road, the one Carmeline Clancy is climbing. Except she’s not – she’s abseiling down, fast.

  Vee and the Nanny are both trying to follow me, but somehow we’re all tangled up together with a frolicking puppy.

  Two paws leap up onto the Nanny’s knees and a big sloppy tongue tries to lick her hand.

  ‘Bad dog,’ calls a voice. I turn and see Carmeline, running towards us, trailing her safety lines. Behind her, the cameras are in chaos.

  A red-faced man is shouting, ‘Cut. Cut! Carmeline, what are you doing?’

  ‘Bad dog,’ Carmeline says again.

  The puppy doesn’t think he’s bad at all. He thinks the Nanny loves him. His tail is wagging faster than a heart beating. The Nanny is totally distracted.

  Now’s our chance. I grab Vee’s hand and we bolt for the end of the laneway. No-one follows us.

  Jessie meets us at the front door to our building. She looks scared but then sees we’re OK and bursts out laughing. We’re breathing hard from so much running, but we laugh too, slumped against the foyer wall.

  I’m kind of expecting someone from the film to turn up and tell Dad and Alice how bad we are.

  What I’m not expecting is the news.

  Dad and Alice are laying out food on the table when it comes on. We’re sprawled on the floor, trying to pretend everything is normal.

  The announcer says, ‘In breaking news, budding film star Carmeline Clancy has had her contract cancelled this evening, due to erratic behaviour both on and off film. Controversy has dogged young Clancy since her arrival in Australia earlier this week.’

  There are some old shots of Carmeline rock-climbing. Then suddenly it’s footage of the street outside our building. Luckily, Dad and Alice are talking loudly, not paying any attention, as the three of us lean in to the TV.

  There’s me, bolting under a tripod with Vee dodging along behind. There’s the Nanny running through the crowd. The puppy is knocking over chairs and slipping between cameras. The film set is total chaos.

  ‘Clancy’s security guard is blaming some cheeky fans for today’s events.’

  The Nanny comes up on the screen.

  I grab Vee’s arm. ‘She’s a security guard. I knew she was more than just a Nanny.’

  The Nanny starts speaking. ‘This afternoon’s events were caused by some out-of-control fans who broke onto the set. People shouldn’t blame Carmeline.’

  The reporter comes back on. ‘Clancy continues to deny claims that she’s caused thousands of dollars worth of damage to her hotel room over the last four nights. The young mess-maker has been confined to her hotel room until further notice.’

  I sit back on my heels and glance at my bonus sisters. Out-of-control fans. Confined to her hotel room. Carmeline isn’t the only mess-maker.

  ‘You know what this means,’ I say in bed that night.

  ‘What?’ Vee asks.

  ‘It’s our fault that Carmeline got fired,’ I say. ‘So now we really have to prove she’s innocent.’

  I think about Mum’s justice work for whole countries worth of people. Proving that Carmeline Clancy is innocent feels like the least I can do.

  ‘How will we do it?’ asks Vee.

  ‘Set up a tiny video camera in the hotel room?’ suggests Jessie.

  ‘Get a tiny microphone and clip it on the Nanny’s coat,’ I say.

  The others giggle and start making stupider suggestions.

  ‘Make X-ray glasses that see through walls.’

  ‘Make a truth spray and spray it on the Fancy Men so that they tell.’

  We laugh so the bed shakes.

  ‘Kids!’ Dad calls. ‘We can hear you.’

  I pull the doona up and shove the corner in my mouth to stop the laughs getting out.

  When I’ve calmed down, I start to think about Carmeline locked in her hotel room. I think about how she doesn’t have her mum, just a scary Nanny.

  The next day is Friday and we don’t have a Carmeline Clancy Plan. All I know is that we have to do something. At school, everyone is even meaner about Carmeline Clancy than before. I try to think of a plan, but I can’t.

  When we get home, Baby is lying on the rug screaming while Dad flaps around the kitchen. He’s made pizza dough, which is rising in a big bowl on the ben
ch.

  ‘There’s no mozzarella,’ Dad says, picking up Baby and sitting him on his hip. Dad tips the dough onto the bench and starts pushing it one-handed.

  Jessie and Vee stare. Alice buys frozen pizza bases, so this is weird for them. Baby keeps crying and starts to twist backwards out of Dad’s arm.

  Dad grabs him with his flour-covered hand and says, ‘I haven’t even started making the sauce.’

  ‘Want us to take Baby and go get mozzarella?’ I ask.

  Dad gives me a floury kiss on the top of my head. ‘Squishy, that would be amazing. Wallet’s in my coat pocket.’

  Vee helps strap Baby onto my front. I jiggle him and nuzzle his cheek with my nose while Jessie grabs a shopping bag.

  ‘See you soon, kids,’ Dad calls, as he closes the door behind us.

  The shop is on the far corner, past Carmeline Clancy’s hotel. We dawdle near the tree, watching the Fancy Men.

  Baby has my hair in both fists and is pulling pretty hard. I use untangling his fingers as an excuse to pause near the hotel. The others stop beside me.

  ‘Hey, look!’ Vee says, pointing.

  Carmeline Clancy pushes open a window on the second floor. We’re so close, almost underneath her. She leans out, looks at the tree branch beside her, and then ducks back inside again. Not for long.

  Another shape fills the window. I’m confused at first. It’s grey and squirming. Then I realise. Carmeline Clancy is lifting the puppy out the window.

  ‘What is she doing?’ Vee asks.

  ‘Lifting the puppy out the window,’ says Jessie.

  ‘Um, der,’ I say, watching the wriggling creature scrabble on the big tree branch. He doesn’t look happy, even though Carmeline is very gentle. She makes sure he’s balanced on a big branch and talks to him quietly.

  Then she glances down between the leaves and sees us.

  ‘Are you all right?’ I ask. (I cannot believe I actually just spoke to Carmeline Clancy!)

  She kind of shakes her head, but says, ‘Yeah. It’s just about Messy.’

  ‘Messy?’ I ask, and then realise Messy is the puppy’s name.

  ‘They want to put him down,’ Carmeline says. It’s like she’s got tears in the back of her throat.

  I think about our teacher at school talking about bullying and ‘put-downs’. Then I remember that ‘putting down’ is the animal word for ‘killing’.

  Messy is all trembly, crouching close to the branch. He looks scared.

  ‘He’s a stray,’ Carmeline explains. ‘I found him when I first got here and I’ve been looking after him.’

  All my sightings of the puppy finally make some sense.

  ‘Why are you putting him in the tree?’ Jessie asks, before I can.

  Carmeline Clancy half-grins, but she looks worried, too. ‘I’ve been sneaking him in and out through a side door, but now I’m locked in.’

  She looks as though she’s about to follow the dog out the window, but then she’s startled by a noise in the room behind her.

  Carmeline Clancy leans down with a frightened face. ‘They’re coming!’ she says. ‘Look after Messy.’ She slams the window shut and spins her back to it.

  Carmeline Clancy has given us a mission and we can’t let her down.

  ‘Do you think Carmeline’s going to be OK?’ Jessie asks.

  If she’s not, it’s our fault.

  Messy starts to make little whiny noises.

  ‘We need to save the puppy,’ I say, trying to untangle Baby’s fingers from my hair again.

  Jessie springs into action. ‘I’ll try and get to Carmeline. Vee, you get the puppy,’ she says, then looks at me. ‘You look after Baby.’

  Now I wish I didn’t have Baby, but there’s no time to swap.

  Jessie bolts past the Fancy Men into the hotel. They shout and chase her inside, which is probably good because otherwise they’d be watching Vee.

  Vee is scrambling up the tree. Her fingers dig into little holds in the rough bark. She’s like a spider-ninja.

  I stare upwards as Vee gets higher and higher, wishing it was me.

  When Vee reaches Messy’s branch, she stands up and walks along it, one hand on the hotel wall for balance. She offers Messy her knuckles to sniff. He reaches out with his nose and then nuzzles in for a scratch behind the ears. It’s extra-cute and makes me feel jealous.

  Vee lifts him up against her hip. Amazingly, he doesn’t seem to mind. He knows we’re going to look after him. Vee carries him carefully back to the main trunk.

  Her face turns worried as she looks towards the ground, and I realise what the problem is.

  There’s no way she can climb down with the puppy under her arm.

  ‘Hang on, Vee, I’m coming up,’ I call. I unclip Baby’s sling from my front and start shrugging my shoulders out of it.

  ‘You can’t just leave Baby on the footpath!’ Vee shouts.

  ‘I know,’ I say. I’ve got a plan. I keep Baby close to my body, but swivel the sling around so he’s on my back. He kicks his fat legs, slowing me down. It’s awkward getting his head under my armpit, but finally I shoulder the sling onto my back.

  Vee is straddling the branch like it’s a pony, with her knees gripping tight. Messy is huddled up next to the tree trunk, whining and shivering.

  I make sure Baby’s straps are extra-tight.

  ‘You OK, Baby?’ I ask. He’s got his hands in the back of my hair, pulling handfuls and giggling like crazy. I start to climb.

  It’s difficult. Baby is heavy and I’m not as good a climber as Vee. My fingers hurt as I grip the bark. Once I get to the first branch, it’s better. I grab it with both hands and swing one leg over. It’s like monkey bars, only bigger. I scramble to my feet on the branch, holding the trunk.

  I start thinking about Baby on my back. He might be fat, but he suddenly feels small and breakable. I haul myself up to the next branch, even more carefully than before. If I fall, Baby falls with me. Finally I’m standing on the branch underneath Vee and Messy.

  ‘Now what?’ asks Vee.

  I stare up at her. We’re two storeys up, with a Baby and Messy. This is as far as my plan went.

  ‘Pass him down to me?’ I suggest.

  Vee, still gripping the branch with her knees, lifts Messy around the chest. As she lifts him, Messy stretches out. His tummy is bare and pink, and his legs seem very long. He looks so funny that I would laugh, but I’m too scared for Baby.

  I lean my shoulder against the tree trunk, bracing my feet to make them strong, and reach up for Messy.

  ‘Here, boy. You’re all right. Good dog,’ I say. He’s so soft. I hold him close, burying my fingers in his fur, feeling his frightened trembling.

  ‘Nice work,’ says Vee, swinging down to join us. She scrambles down to the next branch and I pass Messy down to her.

  We can do this. It’s easy. We take it in turns to lift the terrified puppy down to each other. Baby feels warm against my back and the difference in my balance is starting to feel normal. The lower we get, the less scary it is. I cling to the last branch while Vee jumps to the ground.

  I lower Messy towards Vee. This last section of trunk without branches is longer than all the others, and Vee’s arms are too short. The puppy half-falls onto her, knocking her over. She lands on her knees with a thump. ‘Ow!’

  The fumble startles me and my foot slips. I reach for the trunk, but it’s not where I thought. My hand scrapes down bark and I thump onto my tummy on the branch. I scrabble, trying to hold on. My foot slides into thin air.

  Baby. I can’t land on Baby.

  I don’t know which way is up. My hands and legs are gripping. My chin is jammed against the bark. Baby is crying, Messy is barking and Vee is saying, ‘Squishy, hold on!’

  I’ve slid all the way round to underneath the branch and I’m holding on with arms and legs, like a terrified sloth.

  ‘What are you kids doing?’

  It’s the Fancy Men, running out the hotel door.

  My fir
st thought is to let go and drop to the ground, because I don’t want to be rescued by puppy-killers.

  But I don’t want to break Baby.

  Fine. The mean grown-ups can help me down. I cling on, my arms trembling as the Fancy Men run towards us. I care about my Baby that much.

  But the men don’t make it to us.

  It turns out that Messy, who was terrified of heights, is not terrified of the Fancy Men. The dog plants himself in their path and starts to growl. All the hair around his shoulders stands up like spikes.

  ‘Yikes!’ says one of the Fancy Men, and they slow down.

  It gives me the minute I need. I say, ‘It’s OK, Baby. You’re going to be OK.’

  I let go with my legs and swing from my arms. I’m too far from the main trunk, so I have to shuffle towards it, one hand at a time. It’s hard because Baby is so heavy and the rough bark hurts my hands, but we make it to the trunk. I grab it and half-hold on, half-slide down it. Vee reaches up and slows me down.

  I land on both fee t, and Vee catches my shoulders and stops me falling backwards.

  When I turn around, one of the Fancy Men has a phone to his ear. Messy is still growling at him.

  ‘Yes, hello,’ the man says, ‘is this the pound?’

  ‘No!’ I shout, but before I can say anything else, Carmeline Clancy runs out of the hotel with Jessie beside her.

  ‘You will not call the pound,’ Carmeline Clancy says to the man. He gapes at her and lowers his phone from his ear. Messy runs to her, nuzzling his head against her leg. Carmeline Clancy turns to me. ‘Nice climbing,’ she says.

  I’m breathing hard. My hands are bleeding and my T-shirt is torn. But Baby is safe and Carmeline Clancy just said, ‘Nice climbing.’ To me. Vee nudges me with her elbow. Jessie winks.

  ‘We saw a couple of moves out the window,’ Carmeline says, nodding up towards her room. ‘Cute Baby,’ she adds and comes over to say hi.