Paranoiac

by Attikus Absconder

  Journal Entry Twenty Seven

  Taking several deep breaths I opened the door and was met with what could only be fate. Molly was standing there, worry strewn across her face. “Mo-Molly?” I stuttered, tongue tied at just the site of her.

  “Izzy, are you okay?” She slurred lightly, her eyes were tearing up. “I saw you run off, so I came to check on you.” She smiled slightly, worry still marking that amazing face.

  I took a step closer to her and gave her a hug. Her dress was so thin and her body was so warm against mine. “It’s fine, I had a little too much to drink is all,” I said trying to comfort her.

  She frowned sadly, “I-I heard you crying.” Molly took a step back, still frowning. “You’ve been distant and sad all night.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “You can tell me anything Isaac.”

  I was terrified with excitement. My heart was thumping so fast and adrenaline was coursing through my veins. “Molly, it’s you and Davis. Your engagement-“

  “Isaac…” She interrupted quickly. I looked up at her and tried to continue but she put up her hand, telling me to stop. “I love Davis and we’re getting marr-.”

  I threw her hand away from mine. “No, Molly! This time you’re going to hear what I have to say.” I interrupted her defiantly. Her look of worry and concern changed into shock. “I’ve known you for so long. I’ve cared about you since the moment we’ve met!” She tried to respond to me but I cut her off in anger, “I was ALWAYS there for you. I’ve ALWAYS been your shoulder to cry on!” I took step closer to her, she still had a look of surprise on her pretty face. “I got you through college, paid for your travels and never asked for anything in return.” I was quivering with rage.

  “Isaac, I never asked for any of that!” She said in annoyance, her face was red.

  I took another step towards her and grabbed her shoulders firmly. “You will listen to me,” I said seething with ire. She went silent and diverted her eyes, avoiding my glare. “I have loved you for so long!” Looking at me, there was pain in her eyes then she turned her head again. “Molly, I’m not stupid. You had to know I have always loved you.” I sighed, yet she still refused to look at me. “But I can’t bottle it up anymore. Even if I ruin this friendship. I have to say it.”

  Molly looked at me with anguished eyes, “Please… Don’t,” She said dolefully.

  I squeezed her shoulders tighter but she refused to make eye contact with me and started squirming in my hands. “Molly, I love you!” I professed, my heart exploding in my chest. “Ru-run away with me. Leave Davis before it’s too late.” She started crying and I hopelessly convinced myself it was because she felt the same way. “Just leave him, marry me and take me to all of the beautiful places you traveled to.” I pleaded, crying uncontrollably. Years of holding back my tongue were finally over. We could finally be together. “I just want to make you happy,” I said with a weight lifting from my shoulders.

  Molly finally looked at me, tears streaking down her cheeks. Her emerald eyes glowed in the poorly lit room. “Isaac, you are so stupid!” She pronounced angrily, pushing away from my grip and marched a few steps back. “You are so selfish and arrogant.” Her words were slurred and I was stunned. “I have always loved you like a broth-“

  “Don’t say it!” I interrupted, stepping nearer to her. “I refuse to hear that speech again.”

  “No Isaac, now it’s your turn to listen to me,” She tread further into the hallway. “It’s my turn to break your heart like you just broke mine.” I started to feel sick to my stomach as she spoke, my hopes draining. “We will never be together! Never!” Molly paused and turned her back to me. “I’ve always wanted the best for you Izzy. I’ve always wanted you to be happy.” She was sounding more sincere by the way that I could hear her sobbing quietly. “I took your money because I knew it would make you happy.” Molly said crying harder now. “Half of the reason I left to travel the world was to put a space between us.” Now I was the one that was sobbing. My stomach was in knots as each of her words cut deep into me. “I thought once I came back we could be closer as friends. That you would have met someone else and forgotten about me,” She uttered so sadly.

  “I could never forget,” I interjected and she winced at the sound of my voice, continuing to tear me down with the brutal truth.

  “Isaac, why can’t you understand the importance of being a friend?” She questioned me, her back still turned. “Flings, lovers, boyfriends and sometimes even husbands, come and go.” She whipped around and walked briskly up to me. “But the people you trust the most. The people who are at times more important than family, will always be there, through thick and thin.” Molly shoved at my chest and it made me trip backwards.

  “I’m sorry Molls, I need more than that,” I steadied myself and walked towards her. “My love for you is stronger than familial bonds. It's the only thing I’ve lived for. The only thing that matters to me is you.” I grabbed her shoulders again, she tensed up and shuddered. “How is loving someone so selflessly a selfish act?” She didn’t answer me. Molly just looked into my eyes and cried. I moved her hair behind her ear and kissed her smooth, moist lips.

  “Isaac!” She howled out in disgust, literally spitting my name into the ground. “You’re selfish because you want me all to yourself.” At that she tried to break free from my grip but I didn’t want her to leave. “Let go of me! You’re sick Isaac!” Molly bellowed angrily.

  “No!” I grunted back at her. She grimaced in discomfort as my grip tightened. “Just tell me you love me.” I demanded forcefully. The room was blurry and tumultuous, I wasn’t feeling like myself.

  “Stop!” Molly yelled as she feverishly tried to pull away from me. I held her firmly, desperately trying to get her to listen. “What are you doing?” She whined, tears dripping off of her chin.

  “Why can’t you just love me?” I growled at her. She started pounding on my chest and clawing at my arms. I pulled her close into my body and forced her into my arms.

  “Davis! Davis!” She called out pathetically into my chest. She went limp and just sobbed in my arms. “I just want my pretty Davis,” She whimpered on and on into my chest.

  Her body was so warm against mine and she was so, so soft. I put my head to hers and smelled her hair. “It’s just you and me now,” I said kissing the top of her head.

  “I trusted you Izzy,” Molly whined looking up at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “The only person I belong to is myself and the person I choose to love is Davis!” I hugged her tighter not wanting to let her go. Deep down I knew that once she left I would never see her again. I knew that after she told everyone what I did, no one would talk to me again. “Isaac get off of me!” She yelled out.

  I refused to let her go, she needed to understand, had to. “Don’t leave, just give me a chance!” I begged childishly. “We would be perfect togeth-“

  In a flash Molly slapped me across the face so hard my ears started ringing. I let go of her instantly and put my hand to my face. My cheek was hot and itched with pain. “You freak!” She yelled ferociously.

  Journal Entry Twenty Eight

  Something inside of me snapped and she saw it in my face. I felt cold and numb as I stared at her terrified face. “You shouldn’t have done that,” I hissed out. My voice didn’t sound like my own. I took a step closer to her and her quivering body.

  “I-Isaac?” Molly stuttered and slurred idiotically. And she looked so scared. The hairs on my arms and neck stood up on end. “Izzy?” She bemoaned as I approached her.

  My arm jerked out seemingly on its own and snatched her throat. “You broke my fucking heart,” I muttered flatly, my voice was becoming more and more alien to me. Her body was quivering and she started bawling pointlessly.

  “I-I’m sorry,” She choked out, gasping for breath in between words. I let go of her and watched her fall to the floor indifferently.

  “It’s too late for that,” I said robotically, staring down at her. Somewhere inside
of me I could hear myself screaming, telling myself to stop but I couldn’t. Molly was mine. She had always been mine and no one could have her but me.

  Molly was staring up at me, her face stained with fear. “What’s wrong with you!?” She rasped out, rubbing her irritated neck.

  I could feel something primal and twisted stir inside of me. It stomped out what was left of my conscience as it pleaded me to stop. “You’re about to find out!” I growled. Before she could even react to my threat I grabbed a handful of her beautiful, silky hair and started to pull her down the hallway.

  “Isaac! You’re hurting me!” She screamed out. I hissed at her to shut up as I dragged her up the stairs leading to my parent’s old rooms. “Davis,” Molly bellowed out hoarsely. Her voice was so strained it barely traveled down the hallway.

  I kicked at her ribs, knocking the air out of her. “You say his name again and I’ll pull out your teeth!” I threatened with pleasure. My voice had been completely replaced by something foreign and malicious.

  “Davis! Davis! Davis!” She yelled out obstinately. Molly was scratching and pulling at my arm but my long sleeves protected me. Her resistance was just background noise, I was lost in my deviant thoughts.

  I let go of her hair and violently kicked at her ribs over and over again. She rolled over onto her other side, gasping for air. Curled into the fetal position she had moaned painfully. I stood over her and forced her onto her back. “I warned you!” I grabbed fistfuls of her hair and started slamming her head on to the floor. The rug muffled the loud blows and she grunted out the ugliest of noises. I looked at her pitiful, weak body and spit into her pain stricken whining, gaping mouth. She choked out cries and rolled back and forth in pain. For the first time in my life I felt in control. The angrier I got the stronger I felt.

  “Da-Davis,” She moaned out, blood was flowing from her once perfect nose. Her head was bobbing miserably.

  “Once I’m done with you, no one will want your ruined, slutty self,” I said with a clenched jaw. Grabbing at her hair again I dragged her up the stairs, step by step. She wasn’t fighting anymore. The blows to her head left her concussed and docile.

  But as I yanked her up the last step and she started to fight back, although weakly. She was screaming, crying, and kicking her legs. Molly knocked her flats off as she flailed her feet and tried to swat at me. I quickly put my hand over her mouth, not wanting anyone to ruin my fun. She immediately bit me. I slapped her as hard as I could across the face. My adrenaline was pumping and it made me feel invincible. I grabbed as much of her clumped, tangled hair as I could and started pulling her to the end of the dark hall. She tried desperately to get free but she was too drunk and disoriented.

  I could feel and hear her hair pulling out of her scalp. She moaned in pain but I couldn't care less. Bloody chunks of her scalp and hair were tangled and hanging from my fingers. I stared hungrily at the crimson dripping down my hands and staining my shirt. I smiled cruelly and slung the bloody mass of hair to the rug and with a wet thump, it was out of my sight.

  “Why? Why?” She started wailing over and over pitifully. “Isaac, don’t do this! Please don’t do this!” Molly begged feebly. I smiled and again I felt that primordial darkness stir beneath my skin. I wanted to let it tear out of me. I wanted to feed it.

  I got close to her and put my mouth next to her ear. “There’s no turning back, I’ve already crossed the point of no return.” Then she looked at me and something in her eyes changed. Molly was beyond terrified and it aroused me. I glared at her soft, milky, skin and her beautiful eyes. The beast from within wanted her, and so did I.

  Pulling her dress up to her hips, I ran my fingers up and down her impeccable, pale thighs. She fumbled around and tried to stop me. I paused and leered at her with a look of hunger on my face. “Stop,” Molly whimpered out before I balled up my fist and struck her in the face. She fell onto her back moaning, rocking back and forth. I looked down and continued to rub her thighs and hips. Her body was quivering as I ran my fingers along her thin black panties. “Please, no!” She said shakily but I didn’t care.

  Just as I slid my fingers underneath the elastic waistband of her panties she started to piss herself. It spread down her legs sluggishly and darkened the rug. The warmth and the smell of it drove me wild. I could feel my cock pulsing to life as I stared at her soaked cheekies.

  Putting my hand on her crotch, I felt the warm wetness. I could feel my dick pressing firmly into my jeans. The monster inside of me was roaring, pleading, begging for me to continue. So I got down on my knees and moved my face closer to her crotch. She was groaning a bit louder now yet she wasn’t fighting back. She knew I was in control and deep down she wanted this. I forcefully spread her legs apart and put my mouth on her soft, warm, wet cunt. I licked and sucked gently at her panties, my cock throbbing so hard it was painful.

  “Ple-please,” Molly gasped in pain and fear. “You don’t have to do this.” She tried to pull away from me but I grabbed her hips and pulled her back to my mouth. “I won’t tell anyone!” She sniveled distraught. “I won’t tell anyone!” Molly was weeping again. “We’ll just tell everyone I was drunk, that I fell and you found me.” She was staring at me doe eyed.

  “Molly, you know it’s too late for that,” I started to lick at her panties again, savoring the taste of her unique, pungent, smell. “You shouldn’t be so desperate,” I said crawling up her body and on top of her. “It’s really unattractive,” I imparted with a smile on my face. More stimulated than I had ever been, I picked up her bloody head with both hands and forcefully kissed her on the mouth. “You’re gorgeous,” I complemented gently and slammed her head onto the floor. And then I did it again, one more time, for good measure. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was whining dully.

  Eager to play, I ripped off her cheap, thin, black cheekies and stuffed them into her mouth. She started to gag, her eyes still roaming and out of focus. Her magnificent, plump cunt had a soft, tuft of hair resting on top of it. I grabbed at her powder blue dress and slowly tore it off of her. Her tiny breasts were exposed and I clutched at them greedily. Her nipples were puffy and pink and succulent. I couldn’t wait any longer. I used her once pretty dress and wiped the filth from her blushing gash. Molly started whining Davis’s name over and over again but there was nothing he could do. She was solely mine and now he would never have her again.

  I unzipped my pants and freed my bulging cock for the first time. The air was cold against it and it was pumping painfully. Molly tried to squeeze her legs shut but she was too weak and dazed to deny me. I slid into her with little resistance. She was so warm, wet and tight. I had dreamed of this moment for so many years and it was finally happening. I thrust over and over. Harder and harder. I groped and sucked on her amazing, tiny, breasts. Squeezing them as hard as I could. She was spasming and her cunt gripped around my cock. As much as I wanted to cum so bad, I wanted this feeling to last forever more.

  “Say you love me!” I moaned out at her, thrusting faster and faster. Her juices were flowing all over me. She didn’t answer me, all she did was cry and moan. “Say it!” I said grabbing her throat with both hands. I couldn’t finish unless she told me. She HAD to tell me. “Say it goddammit!” I screamed in her face, my hands squeezing around her neck tighter by the second. Her eyes were turning red and bulging. I could feel her larynx crushing underneath in my palms. “Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!” I howled, thrusting over and over again. Her snatch was constricting my shaft, sending me into ecstasy. I was so close to cumming. “Say it! Just say it!” Blood was coming out of her ears, nose and mouth. Her hands her locked around mine, trying to untangle them from her thin, delicate neck. “Say it! Say it now!” Her face was turning purple and the blood vessels in her eyes were bursting under the pressure. She was choking, gagging for air but I didn’t give a shit. I just wanted to cum inside of her. “You love me! You know you do! Don’t lie to me!” I stuttered out, quivering as tiny, pleasurable shive
rs ran through my body. My cock was tingling with a building pressure. Molly’s body started convulsing. Her pussy clamped down on me and finally I came. I moaned loudly and felt my jizz pour into her. The colors around me seemed more vivid and enthralling. I thrust slowly, savoring every pleasurable second until I finally collapsed on top of her. Her body laid irreversibly limp and unmoving as I tried to catch my breath. I pulled out of her, wincing at my tender member and used her dress to clean myself off. Out of breath, I was completely satisfied.

  I stumbled backwards, zipping my pants up. My mind was calm and back to normal, the beast was hiding within but I could still feel him nearby, waiting. Looking out to the gory horror that laid before me however, the fear began to set in. “M-Molly?” I whimpered, realizing what I had done with clear eyes.

  Journal Entry Twenty Nine

  I slowly walked up to Molly’s unmoving body. The panties I had stuffed into her mouth were laying on the floor and her jaw was slacked awkwardly to the side. Her eyes were blood shot and had rolled into the back of her head. My stomach shot up into my throat, my heart frozen in my chest. “What have I done?” I whimpered, pacing back and forth in a panic. “No, no, no, no!” I repeated compulsively. I can’t believe I did this… Why did I do this? I stared at her broken, nude body then tried to look away but I couldn’t. Blood was beginning to pool into a small puddle behind her head. Her legs and crotch were smeared with blood. Cum was dribbling out if her and it was mixing with the crimson red, it sickened me. I looked over at her once beautiful dress. It was covered in filth and gore.