Santa's Secret

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “Good evening. I’m happy to see so many familiar faces, as well as some I haven’t seen before. To you, I say welcome to Ramona Falls. As you may or may not know, actress and my beautiful daughter, Delaney Du Luca is here and will be in the booth right over there,” he pauses and points to his right. “Signing autographs and taking pictures. Behind me, our holiday vendors are set-up and ready for business. Don’t forget to pick up your apple pie or one of Mrs. Beasley’s scarves. They keep the winter chill away. Now without much further ado.” Dad turns and faces us. The four of us together put our hands on the light switch and flip it up. The tree bursts into an array of color. Everyone in the crowd oohs and aahs before they start clapping.

  Once the tree is lit and people start dispersing, Calvin takes me by the arm and leads me through the maze of people. This is really the first time he’s had to work since he arrived. He’s different now, more gruff and unforgiving to people who are in his way. While we were busy with the tree lighting someone was kind enough to turn on the space heater, and while I may be toasty warm, Calvin surely isn’t. Not that he’d complain. He takes his post outside, standing in front of my booth with one hand clasped over the other, his shoulder square and his head tilted back slightly, causing his chin to jut out. Calvin looks mean, but I think he’s nothing more than a giant teddy bear.

  For two hours, I sign my name on anything from a napkin to pictures of myself from various magazines. One woman brought in every ticket stub from my movies and had them in a nice shadow box, which she insisted I sign. I was hesitant, fearing I would ruin her project, but she was adamant.

  When I see Fish standing among the rest of the people in line, my hand writes a bit faster and I’m shooing people along more quickly. It’s finally his turn. He smiles and looks down at Holly, who is beaming ear to ear with one of the biggest grins I have seen all week.

  “Delaney,” she says as she rushes toward my booth. “I’ve missed you.”

  “You saw me the other day at school,” I remind her, although our encounter was brief as we were rehearsing for the play.

  “But it’s not the same.”

  No, it’s definitely not because I’d give anything to be at her house, wrapped in a blanket with her on my lap, listening to her read me a story or singing me her favorite Christmas song.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” I tell her, avoiding all eye contact with Aiden. I fear if I look at him, I’ll see the turmoil he’s been going through.

  “Why?” Holly asks.

  Because I like your daddy. “Because we need a picture together. Would you like that?”

  Her head bobs up and down so fast I fear it may pop off. “O.M.Geeeeee,” she squeals. I have no choice but to look at Aiden to make sure he’s okay, not that I’d expect him to have a problem with us taking a photo together, but some parents are leery.

  This time though, I step out of my little box and come around to the front. A few people who are standing on the outside of my roped area try to make a mad dash, but Calvin is there to create a barricade. I crouch down next to Holly and place my arm around her waist, pulling her closer. I haven’t done this with any other fans today. I don’t know what possesses me to do this with her, maybe it’s because she’s Aiden’s daughter and I want him to know… well, I’m not exactly sure what I want Aiden to know. Part of me wants to spend more time with him, but the logical part of me wants to keep my distance so neither of us gets hurt. Especially, Aiden because he’s already been through so much with losing his wife.

  Holly and I pose for her dad. He smiles the entire time he’s snapping pictures. When he finally drops his camera, I stand, but don’t take my hand off of Holly. She looks up at me, smiling. I hope I’m giving her something to hang onto because she’s definitely giving me something.

  “What are you guys doing later?”

  Aiden shakes his head slightly. “Nothing, really. Hanging out around here, I guess.”

  “You’re my last visitor.”

  “I know, I planned it that way,” he says quietly.

  “Would you like to get some hot cocoa?” My voice cracks like a school girl asking her crush to check yes or no on the note she just handed him.

  “Dad, can we, please?” Holly asks. She jumps up and down with her hands clasped together.

  “Yeah, sure. I mean, we’re all here.” Aiden glances at me quickly before he looks at his daughter. Her excitement is infectious and I find my inner-self jumping up and down too, not because of the cocoa, but because I want to spend more time with the both of them. It takes me only a minute or so to close up my booth, making sure the space heater is unplugged and the light above my name is off.

  “Does Mrs. Cline still have the best hot chocolate?” I ask, walking side-by-side with Holly in the middle and Calvin following behind.

  “She does,” Fish says. Mrs. Cline melts chocolate into milk to make her cocoa. It’s thick and frankly, the best I’ve ever had.

  Aiden leads us down the aisle where Mrs. Cline’s stand is. When she sees us coming, her smile widens. “Delaney, it’s so good to see you.”

  “You too, Mrs. Cline. We’ll take four of your best,” I tell her. Absentmindedly, I place my hand on Holly’s shoulder and pull her closer to me. I feel like I’m already part of her life.

  We’re handed our Styrofoam cups and sent along our way. She refuses payment, which I don’t like, and will make sure Calvin stops by later to leave her a donation. With Holly’s hand in mine, we stop at each table to look at the goods. Aiden isn’t far behind us, spending time with Calvin. Those two are chatting it up like they’ve been best friends for years, while Holly and I continue to bond over handmade crafts, funny hats and fluffy scarves.

  Each time I look over my shoulder, Aiden’s eyes are on me. Knowing he’s staring causes me to blush, and I like it. Right now, I feel like I’m part of this little family, that they’ve opened their hearts and lives to accept me, and honestly, it’s the best feeling in the world.

  Twenty-Two

  Aiden

  As I expected, Holly’s enamored with Delaney from the get-go. Honestly, it’d take a miracle for anyone in Delaney’s presence not to be mesmerized by her. Her smile is infectious. She’s gracious and humble. Standing there watching her with her fans tonight, was vastly different from the day at the mall. The Delaney I see tonight is caring, and each fan has her undivided attention.

  The Laney I know though, is beautiful, loving and the sweetest woman I know, and I’m falling for her, even when I know I shouldn’t. I had the hardest time trying to explain to Holly the reason I was waiting to buy the last ticket to see Delaney. Each excuse I thought of was lame and telling her the truth would make me admit, aloud, that my feelings are crossing over the friendship line. The plain truth is, I wanted Holly and I to be the last so we could spend the rest of the night with Delaney.

  The other day at church, I came to the realization that my life is not my own. My sister insists on dictating everything, including my love life. I know she means well. I know she loves us and would do whatever she could to see us happy. However, I can’t help what my heart feels and right now it’s pulling me in the direction of Delaney Du Luca, knowing full well that once the holidays are over, she’ll be gone. I can only hope and pray Delaney doesn’t forget us.

  Currently, my daughter and the woman I’m fawning over are lying in the snow, making snow angels. Calvin and I are standing so we can block the girls from the public eye. Secretly, I’m thankful for his presence. I think with Calvin here, it allows Delaney to have more freedom, and it definitely makes me aware of my surroundings. I only wish we had protected her enough that Delaney didn’t even have to call Calvin to come rescue her.

  Their giggles carry over the park, causing me to smile. It’s been so long since Holly has seemed this carefree, and I have Delaney to thank. I wish I could capture this moment on film, but I know Laney would hate it.

  Calvin turns and watches the crowd intently while I keep my eyes on the gi
rls, trying to burn the vision of them together into my mind.

  “What happened the other night?” Calvin asks.

  “Don’t know what you mean.”

  He clears his throat and steps to his side, pushing his shoulder into mine. “I wanted to come get her, but she refused. I didn’t think anything of it until the next afternoon when she was crying her eyes out.”

  “Crying?”

  “Hmh,” he mumbles. “Suppose you don’t know why she was doing that?”

  I shake my head. When she left my house, everything was good, minus my nosy neighbor stopping us before we could kiss. The thought of her crying though, I don’t like that.

  “You mean something to her. But if you’re not sure...”

  His words stab me in the heart. Deep down, he’s right, I’m guarded when it comes to my heart. Laney has a lot to offer… someone. Unfortunately, as much as I want to be that someone, I’m not sure I can.

  “Laney is a good friend. We have a small history, but who doesn’t when you grow up in a small town?”

  Calvin gives me the side eye and I quickly tear my gaze away from him. The girls come over to us, walking hand in hand, covered head to toe in snow. Their noses and cheeks are red, hair matted with snowballs and their clothes are soaked. “You guys are going to catch your death,” I say, pulling Holly into my arms.

  “You sound like a grandma,” Laney says, and Holly laughs.

  “He does sound like my grandma.”

  “What do you say we go to my house and warm up by the fire?” Delaney suggests. I’m about to tell her we’ll take a rain check until Holly starts jumping up and down, clapping her hands.

  “Daddy, can we please?” she clasps her hands together in a praying motion, juts out her bottom lip and bats her eyelashes which have the tiniest of snowflakes on them. This is my weakness and she knows it.

  I look from Holly to Delaney, whose expression all but matches Holly’s and it hits me I can’t say no to either of them. However, I’m going to try. “I don’t know. It’s getting late, I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Du Luca are tired.”

  “Fish, you know very well my parents aren’t leaving here until the last person has left for the night. Come on, it’ll be like old times.” Laney’s hand rests on my arm and the tingling from the other day is back with a vengeance.

  “Old times, Daddy?” Holly asks. Her face is scrunched, a sure sign of confusion. I’m shocked that word hasn’t spread to my daughter about the time I dated her favorite movie star. Maybe I should’ve used this to my advantage the other day when she was yelling at me in the lunchroom at school.

  My gaze diverts from Laney’s. She shrugs and smiles, sealing my fate. Even if I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. The fight on my hands wouldn’t be worth it. Not from Delaney or Holly.

  “We’ll follow you over,” I tell Delaney.

  “Yes! Can I ride with Delaney?” Holly asks.

  “I don’t—”

  “It’s fine,” Delaney says. “Calvin is an excellent driver. Nothing will happen to her, Fish. I promise.” Laney reaches for Holly’s hand and my instinct is to pull Holly away, but I don’t. My daughter’s hand rests in Delaney’s, both of their faces beam brightly with smiles as they start to walk away. I have no choice but to follow along, walking step-by-step with Calvin.

  “You’ll learn to just give in,” he says.

  I shake my head. “The newness of Delaney will wear off and Holly will move onto something else.”

  “I wasn’t talking about Holly.” Calvin rushes to his black SUV, which sticks out in town like a sore thumb, leaving me there to ponder his words. He doesn’t wait for me to make up my mind about what I’m going to do, and pulls away from the curb with my daughter in the back of his car.

  Almost in a full jog, I hurry to my car for no other reason than to follow behind. It’s not like I don’t know where the Du Lucas live or am afraid I might miss something. No, that’s not entirely true. I am afraid. I’m afraid I’m going to miss Holly laughing so hard tears will come out of her eyes. I’m scared to miss the memories she’s building tonight with Delaney and I won’t be able to remind her of them when she’s older because her mind is too young to remember. I’m nervous Holly will break something and feel like she’s in trouble if I’m not there to ease her mind. Most of all I’m anxious to spend time with Laney. It’s stupid, but since I pulled her over, I’ve been saying what if.

  By the time I arrive at the Du Luca’s, everyone is already in the house. I knock before opening the door, much like I used to when I was coming over years ago. From the foyer, I can hear laughter and Christmas music. As quickly as I can, I take off my winter wear, kick off my boots and walk into the kitchen.

  Delaney’s crouched down with her head in the cupboard and blindly handing Holly large mixing bowls and baking sheets. Laney doesn’t even look my way before heading to the pantry. She’s listing off the ingredients for what I’m assuming will be the best tasting cookies ever.

  “Care for a drink?” Calvin asks as he steps next to me.

  “What’re having?”

  “Eggnog. Adult style.”

  I glance at Holly and Delaney, realizing I’ll be here for a bit so a little adult beverage won’t hurt. “Sure.” I follow Calvin to the butler’s pantry and take my glass after he fills it part way. “You seem to know your way around the Du Luca’s.”

  “Mr. D gave me a crash course and told me if I didn’t make myself at home, he’d have me arrested. I took his threat seriously when Dominic came over.”

  I chuckle. “Dom is all talk, no bite.”

  Calvin doesn’t seem to believe me, but that doesn’t surprise me. Calvin’s demeanor doesn’t seem to change much. I can’t tell if he’s enjoying his drink or not. “There should be a game on,” I say to him, figuring watching some sporting event might get him to open up.

  He follows me into the den, where I flip on the television and change the sports channel to basketball. The score’s tied, and the announcers for the Celtics are going crazy with the back and forth between the Cs and Cavs. Growing up, I counted the days until the Celtics would vie for another championship. It was only after they traded for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen things changed. Now, we’re on the cusp of greatness again.

  I enjoy sports as much as any other guy, but since Heather’s passing, they’ve taken a backseat. There was a time when I’d meet up with my friends at the local pub to watch one of the many Boston teams play, but those days are long over. I didn’t think I missed it until now.

  Calvin and I take turns yelling at the TV, throwing our hands up in the air and flopping back on the couch when a call doesn’t go our way.

  “What’s all this noise?”

  Calvin and I both turn our heads at the scolding voice of Delaney. Standing next to her, mimicking her stance is Holly. They’re both glaring at us, with their hands on their hips. Instantly, I’m taken back by the way Delaney and Holly look. If I didn’t know better, I’d say my wife and daughter were standing in front of me, and it knocks the breath out of me, because having those thoughts is wrong.

  When I look at Holly, I see Heather. They’re spitting images of each other, but right now she’s a mini Delaney. They both have their hair in buns, are wearing headbands, aprons, and both seem to have flour all over their faces. Holly looks at me, as if I’ve done something wrong.

  “What?” I ask. Delaney crosses her arms, followed quickly by Holly.

  “There’s a whole lotta yelling going on in here.”

  “The game’s on. You know how it is,” I point to the screen.

  “Well, we thought you guys would like some cookies,” Holly says in her best Delaney impersonation. She’s a real mini Laney right now.

  “Now you’re speaking my language.” Calvin stands and makes his way into the kitchen. I start to follow, but am held tightly under Delaney’s penetrating gaze.

  “Can I help you?” Delaney asks as I step closer. In doing so, Holly does as well, almost as if she’s
preventing me from being near Delaney.

  “You have something here.” My finger brushes along her skin. The white powdery flour does nothing to conceal the red rosy coloring of her cheek. Delaney’s fingers squeeze my side, her nails digging into my flesh.

  “And what would that be, Fish?”

  Holly laughs. “Daddy, she called you Fish again.”

  “Because it’s my name,” I say.

  “And what’s mine?” Delaney asks.

  “Laney.” Her name escapes breathlessly through my lips. I step closer, my lips poised to touch her. She swallows hard, waiting for me to make a move.

  “Daddy, do you want a cookie or not?” Holly sounds exasperated by my not so subtle attempts at flirting. Delaney drops her hand from my side and steps back, putting some space between us.

  It takes a few seconds to clear my thoughts. Twice now, I’ve wanted to kiss Delaney. However, we were somewhat hidden. Tonight though, my daughter is standing between us, preventing me from making a mistake. Yet, knowing she’s there does nothing to help the images I have of pulling Delaney into my arms and pressing my lips to her.

  I finally break away from Delaney’s gaze to look at Holly. “Yes, Holly, I want a cookie or two, maybe even three.”

  “No way,” she says, running back into the kitchen. Delaney and I stand there in awkward silence until we hear Holly yell. “No, Calvin, you can’t eat all the cookies!”

  Twenty-Three

  Delaney

  Sometime around midnight, my parents come home. They’re loud, boisterous and, it seems, ready to party. I look around our family room to find Holly curled up on the couch, Aiden passed out next to her and Calvin asleep in the recliner. There’s some infomercial on about a special glue that will hold anything playing on the TV, and I find myself wanting to buy it to try it out.