Hugged By An Angel

by Capizzi, Roberta

  I moved down to kiss her cheek, squeezing her a little tighter, and she melted against my chest. Right then and there I realized it didn’t really matter where I was as long as she was with me.

  Music blared from the traditional pub on our left, teenagers were laughing and playfully shouting at each other outside the pub on our right, but I felt as if we were caught inside a bubble: the moon, the stars, and the river, singing its song for us.

  Chapter Forty-seven

  Kathleen

  August 10, 2012

  Colin’s grandmother had been released from the hospital the following day, but she had to be wheeled around in a chair. She obviously couldn’t be left alone, but Colin’s aunts wouldn’t be able to leave their families and Colin hadn’t managed to get a week off work. When I’d volunteered to stay here with her his grandmother had tried to convince me I shouldn’t be forced to, but I’d insisted. My job as a freelance writer had its perks, like being able to work basically anywhere on the planet, as long as I could still send files via the internet. Besides, spending some time with his grandmother would be an opportunity to help me get to know a little about Colin’s past. Colin had reminded me at least twenty times that I didn’t have to feel forced to do it, but I’d managed to send him back to Dublin without too much fuss.

  In spite of being stuck in a wheelchair Doreen was very active. If I’d thought she’d spend her days in bed, I’d been wrong. We were either in the kitchen or the back garden, and I learned lots of things about cooking and gardening from her. I’d never really had a talent for either of those things, but I guessed it was because I’d never really tried hard; after five days with her, I’d discovered two new passions and I was quite pleased with myself.

  Doreen was very easy to be around and very easy to like. Just like Colin had told me, I quickly discovered she wasn’t your ordinary old lady; she was a very strong, open-minded woman, who had gone through a lot, losing her husband to cancer and then her son and daughter-in-law in a plane crash a few years later. Still, she was standing on her feet and loving every day she was given. She was a survivor and I looked at her with awe.

  It had been a nice week, apart from a little rain on Wednesday, and we’d spent a lot of time enjoying the sun; I wondered if Colin would notice my tan. I couldn’t wait for him to arrive. He’d called me around lunchtime, saying he’d drive up straight after his last appointment at four.

  I was getting used to living here away from the city and the traffic. The day before I’d walked down to the small grocery shop to buy apples so that Doreen could make her special apple pie for Colin and as I passed by the small, colorful cottages overlooking the bay I’d felt a strange sense of belonging, as if I’d lived there all of my life. I didn’t know if it was the nice sunny weather or the quiet, but I hadn’t stopped thinking about it ever since. I found myself wondering what it would be like to live here permanently. I pictured myself walking down the same narrow roads ten years from now, or strolling on the beach with Colin and our children.

  I guessed it wouldn’t be hard for Colin to find a job at the local hospital and I could basically work anywhere. Besides, he’d dreamed about opening a private practice one day and surely the cost of doing so in a small town would be way lower than it would in Dublin. I’d mentioned it to Doreen when I’d come home and she had smiled cheerfully, taking my hands and saying she’d obviously be very pleased to have us around. Funny how easy it had been for us to bond; we’d only known each other for five days and I already felt as if she was my real grandmother.

  We’d just finished tending the rosebushes and I’d made us some iced tea, which we were enjoying in the back garden, Doreen in her wheelchair and I in a comfortable deckchair, my legs pulled up against my chest. Shaggy was dozing next to us, enjoying the warm sun. I had come to love that cat and he was fond of me, too, since I was the one feeding him now. I wondered if Colin would be jealous of my new furry friend, and I smiled.

  “Are you thinking of Colin?” Doreen asked out of the blue and I snapped out of my musings, staring guiltily at her.

  “Was it so evident?” I asked, drinking my tea and refilling my glass.

  She looked at me amused and chuckled.“After Sarah moved back to New York, my son was exactly the same; he’d be moping around the house, sighing and checking his phone every five minutes. My husband hated it, saying it was stupid for a man to act like that, but I found it lovely. James had always been a loving man, and very passionate in everything he did; it was obvious he’d be passionate about Sarah, too.”

  She smiled, reminiscing, and I wondered if I would sound rude if I asked her about Colin’s history. I’d come to learn his parents and his past were something that still made him sad, so we never talked about them. I knew that deep down he still missed them, every single day, and I knew the feeling—because I missed Declan like crazy, too.

  “How did they meet?” I asked timidly, and she looked at me, making me feel a little uneasy. “Colin’s parents? He said his mother was American and they’d met here in Ireland, but he never told me the whole story.” I spun the tea in the glass, making the ice cubes clink. “From what little he told me it sounds like one of those romantic movies I love watching.”

  “Well, yes, it was a little like that,” she said, smiling, not at all annoyed by my question. Then she started telling me the whole story of their chance encounter on the beach in Rosses Point where Sarah and her fellow exchange students had come for a walk. It had been love at first sight for both of them, and for the duration of her stay James had gone back and forth to Dublin to spend time with her. When she went home to New Jersey, James had never been the same and Doreen just knew he’d be leaving Ireland to be with Sarah. After a little more than a month he eventually did, even though neither her husband or daughters were happy about his decision, since he was the oldest and expected to take over his father’s business.

  “I’d known from the very moment he met Sarah, when he came back from the beach with those dreamy eyes, that he had found The One. When he told me she was American, well, I knew I’d lose him. But I wanted him to be happy, and if that meant he’d have to leave then I was ready to accept that.”

  Shaggy woke up, stretched and looked at us, trying to decide who was going to cuddle him the most. I reached out my hand and he came over, brushing his snout against my fingers. Then, with a swift movement, he jumped up onto my lap and I giggled, enjoying the soft weight on my legs. I looked up at Doreen and smiled.

  “Did they come here often?” I asked, remembering Colin had mentioned coming over for the summer holidays.

  “The first couple of years they didn’t; my husband refused to talk to him. But when they got married here in Sligo, I managed to make James and George talk things through. Everything was fine after that, even though my daughters still thought James was a selfish man, leaving everything behind to chase a woman.

  “I never blamed him for leaving Ireland; he loved Sarah, and I knew it had been a tough decision for him because he’d always been a very devoted son.” She sucked in a deep breath and let it out. For a second I thought I could see tears in her eyes. “When Colin was born, Sarah quit her job and dedicated all of her time to him. They would come and spend the summer months here with us, while James would take a week or two off to come visit. I came to love Sarah like a daughter; she was a wonderful wife and a loving mother. It broke my heart whenever they left, and even though I only saw him for two or three months a year, Colin had always been my favorite.” She smiled, and her eyes were glistening. I knew all this talking about her son and daughter-in-law brought back painful memories, and I felt guilty for being the cause of it. I should never have asked.

  “What was Colin like, when he was a teenager?” I asked, trying to change to a more cheerful subject. I was sure he’d been a naughty boy when he was young, and maybe she’d end up telling me some funny stories about him. Doreen smiled and took a sip of tea.

  “He was…” she paused, pondering the word
s for a moment, the glass in midair, “heartbroken.” Her gaze fixed on the rosebush next to me. “He was angry and distraught, and he thought that if he messed up his life he’d feel better, somehow less guilty for being alive. He punished himself because he thought he deserved it.”

  “Punished himself?” I asked, wondering what she meant by that. This wasn’t exactly the kind of conversation I’d planned on having with her.

  “He’d always been a good boy. When they came here on their summer holidays he’d help me out with gardening, he’d go buy groceries—he even fixed my bicycle once. It was a joy to have him around.” She smiled, lost in a world of her own, probably reminiscing about those days; then she looked at me and the ice blue of her eyes almost gave me chills. “Losing his parents crushed him; when he came here he was devastated. He had nobody else to turn to but an old grandmother. He had to leave his home, his school, his friends, the only life he’d ever known to come to a small coastal village on the other side of the ocean. And he felt guilty because he was alive.”

  “Yes, he sort of told me that once,” I said, nodding and remembering the conversation we’d had.

  “Because he was alive and his parents weren’t he thought he should punish himself. He took up drinking and smoking behind my back. He thought I wouldn’t notice he wasn’t the grandson I used to know, he thought I’d never realize he came home late at night, stumbling through the door.”

  “That bad?” I asked, surprised. I couldn’t picture Colin as a drunken teenager.

  She sighed, her eyes taking on a veil of sadness, and I suddenly wanted to hug her.“One day I caught him smoking in my backyard, with a half-empty bottle of beer in his other hand in the middle of the afternoon. I’d gone out with my daughter and I wasn’t supposed to be back until late that night, but I wasn’t feeling well so she drove me home early. He didn’t even notice me as I approached. I smacked the back of his head so hard, he told me it hurt for a whole day afterward.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle: I would love to have seen that! Then I turned serious again as the smile that had curved her lips only a moment before disappeared.

  “I yelled at him for the first time ever and I asked him what he thought his parents would think, seeing him wasting his life like that. That attitude of his wasn’t going to bring them back. His reaction wasn’t what I’d expected, though. I’d thought he’d scream at me, swear at me, just like all teenagers do, but he stared at me instead, his eyes blank. I’ll never forget the way he looked when he said ‘I don’t want to live like this anymore, Gran. The pain is excruciating, it’s tearing me apart. I just wish I’d died, too.’”

  I gasped and my heart ached, while my eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t bear to know he’d gone through so much pain.

  “His blue eyes, my son’s eyes, were staring at me from behind a veil of alcohol and sorrow. So much sorrow a boy his age should never feel. He flung himself at me, dropping the bottle and the cigarette and he finally cried in my arms.” She looked at me. A tear escaped her control, rolling down her cheek. “He hadn’t cried since he’d moved in and I could see it building up inside of him, month after month. I knew he’d explode one day so I waited patiently and, when he finally did, things got better. He’d never wanted to be that kind of person because it just wasn’t who he was, who his parents had raised him to be. He only needed to understand that by himself, he needed time to process the whole thing and get over it.”

  “He never told me that,” I said, holding the glass in both of my hands now, but unable to drink its contents. The pain I felt in my heart almost made me sick; it was as if one-hundred daggers were piercing it.

  “He’s not particularly proud of that phase,” she said, nodding. “He’s always tried to make up for those months. Since then he’s been the perfect grandson and he’s turned into a man his parents would surely be proud of.”

  I smiled knowingly, remembering the message his parents had wanted me to deliver to Colin.

  “And he’s really head over heels in love with you,” she added with a grin, and I blushed hard. “He’s never really brought anyone home before because they never stuck around for more than a month or two. Well, he never stuck around, if I have to be honest with you.”

  “Hey, are you gossiping about me, ladies?”

  I gave a start, almost dropping the glass when I heard Colin’s voice behind me. I turned back to see him walking toward us with a big grin on his face. I put down the glass, and let Shaggy go before I flung myself at him.

  “You’re back!” I squealed, looping my arms around his neck. His arms automatically went around my hips and a second later I’d been lifted off the floor, my legs around his waist and my lips on his. I didn’t care that his grandmother was watching us; I’d missed him so much, I simply couldn’t wait until we were alone to claim his lips. He responded eagerly to my kiss, and I finally felt as if the piece of my heart he had taken with him was back in place.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he whispered in my ear when he pulled back and nuzzled my neck before putting me down.

  “Me, too,” I said, brushing his cheek with my thumb and smiling. He looked over my shoulder at his grandmother and smiled sweetly, walking toward her.

  “You weren’t spoiling my reputation, were you, Gran?”

  The old woman’s face softened and I noticed the pride and joy that shone bright as the sun from her as soon as he walked close.

  “Nah, she was updating me on the huge number of ex-girlfriends you’ve had,” I teased. He grinned and bent down to kiss Doreen then turned back to me and put an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.

  “They’re not so many; and I’m sure she hasn’t got the right count anyway,” he said innocently, kissing the top of my head. Doreen raised an eyebrow, and he grinned. “You’re probably missing two or three, Gran,” he added and I smacked his chest, making him chuckle.

  Then he turned to look at me, and his jaw dropped.“Hey, look at you: you’re tanned!” he said, staring at me as if I’d grown antlers. “You’re beautiful, babe.”

  “We’ve done a lot of gardening,” I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He chuckled and kissed my temple; I loved it when he did that. I’d missed his lips so much I was sure I’d spend the weekend kissing him every other minute.

  “How about I take you out to dinner tonight, ladies? My treat,” he asked, looking at his grandmother and then at me. Doreen nodded, saying it was a great idea, and I agreed. We’d been so engrossed in our conversation that we hadn’t thought of making dinner yet, and it would be nice for Doreen to leave the house for a change. “Right, then. I’ll have a quick shower while you girls get ready.”

  I picked up the glasses from the table and was about to walk back into the kitchen when Colin bent down stopping next to my ear.

  “How about you come and wash my back?” he whispered, and my cheeks turned bright red. How could he speak like that in front of his grandmother? When Doreen chuckled we both whipped our heads up.

  “Go ahead, I can wait here in the garden and enjoy the sun a little more while you two have fun.”

  I guessed my cheeks had turned a dark shade of burgundy now by the way they burned, and Colin laughed.

  “I…um…I wasn’t going to…” I stammered, and she laughed.

  “Don’t worry; I know how it feels to be young and in love, dear, no need to feel ashamed,” she said, shaking her head. Then she looked up at Colin with a serious gaze. “Although I do hope you’re being safe and using protection.”

  At those words Colin’s smug grin faded and he stood there, totally frozen for a moment. I felt like running away and hiding my head under the couch. Then he burst into laughter, shaking his head as he went behind her and started wheeling her inside.

  “Thanks Gran; now you’ve spoilt all my chances of getting Kathleen into that shower with me. And if I know her, she won’t let me get close to her all weekend, so yeah, I guess we’ll be safe,” he said, snorting and shaking his head in
feigned frustration. Doreen giggled, and I walked quickly back into the kitchen. If he’d wanted to embarrass me, well, he’d done a great job. I’d never be able to look at his grandmother without blushing now.

  Chapter Forty-eight

  Colin

  August 10, 2012

  I was surprised to discover how close Gran and Kathleen had become in only five days. I could tell Gran was very fond of her and I was sure if things didn’t work out she’d probably kill me with her bare hands. Not that I had any intentions of letting anything or anyone come between Kathleen and I; I’d be damned if I’d let another man set as much as his eyes on her.

  Seeing the way the two most important women in my life interacted during dinner, laughing and chatting like old friends, warmed my heart. It reinforced the crazy idea that had been going on in my mind over the last few days when my longing for Kathleen was so strong I’d thought I’d die without her.

  When we got home I offered to help Gran get into bed while Kathleen made some tea. As soon as we were alone, I closed the door and Gran looked up at me with an inquisitive expression.

  “Do you like Kathleen, Gran?” I asked, helping her out of the wheelchair and into bed. She looked at me with a strange grin, and nodded.

  “She’s a lovely young woman with a big heart. I don’t know many girls who would have volunteered to stay with their boyfriend’s sick grandmother, whom they’d only just met. So yes, I like her. A lot, actually.”

  I smiled, and nodded. Yes, that was very Kathleen. That was the way she was: sweet and loving, two of the many reasons why I loved her.

  “‘Cause I really love her, Gran. I mean really really. These five days without her I was a wreck. I’ve never felt like this before, it’s…weird. But good; extremely good,” I said, looking up at her with a shy smile.