Reckless (The Reckless Series)

by True, Holli

  “You can have it,” she said with a smile. “After tonight, I don’t think I want it back.”

  “Yay!” Shayne exclaimed.

  “We have to leave here in twenty minutes,” I said, eyeing the clock for the tenth time that hour.

  “Yes, Hailey, we know,” Shayne said, taking no time at all to slip into her prized dress. It looked way better on her than it would have ever looked on me. And I had to admit, it looked much better on than I imagined it to be when it was still on the hanger. Though Shayne was able to pull off just about any look, so it was no real surprise that she looked great.

  Rebecca opted for a pair of jeans and a shimmery black top. She looked modelesque with her mile-long legs as she slipped into her black heels. “Are you nervous?” Rebecca asked me, examining her own makeup in the mirror.

  “I’m more excited than nervous,” I admitted. This was going to be my first real date. I had definitely gone out with boys in high school, but it was typically to a movie or going to a school dance. I had a feeling tonight was going to be a totally different experience.

  “Well, if he turns out to be a total psycho, we’ve got your back,” Shayne said.

  I smiled my thanks at her, though I doubted I had to worry about Jonah. Although I had only interacted with him a few times, he didn’t set off any warning flags. Why I felt that way— I had no idea. After all, it wasn’t like I had a ton of experience with guys or anything. In fact, my longest relationship was a six month stint with a boy named Jared my Junior year of high school. His idea of dating was cutting class to make out behind the gym, forgetting to call when he said he would and ditching me at parties so he could drink with his friends, instead. I still didn’t know why I had even bothered to date him as long as I had. Convenience, maybe?

  Needless to say, he never loved me and I definitely never loved him.

  Other than Jared, there had been a few boys here and there. Nothing serious, just your typical week-long high school romances and group dates. In all honesty, my love life, or lack there of, had been pretty mild and tame, which was kind of disappointing. I wanted to fall in love, but I refused to rush it, or for that matter, force it. Love intrigued me, the very idea of it excited me and it was something I wanted to experience, without a doubt. But I also wanted it to be real and pure. Something I could cherish and honor. Something I could share with the very person who loved me right back.

  I had witnessed the love my parents had shared and I wanted the same kind of love for myself. In some ways, I craved it. And I refused to settle for anything less.

  . . .

  I was standing in a circle with Rebecca and Shayne, talking about nothing, when I saw Jonah walking toward us. He was already looking at me, wearing a half smile. Excitement and nerves shot through me, causing my breath to momentarily quiver.

  “You made it,” I said, stepping away to greet him. I was happy he was there, so I didn’t even try to hide the prominent smile on my mouth.

  “Of course,” he said, his eyes warm and inviting, pulling me in.

  I tried to memorize every detail of him, as though it was my first time to ever see him, or rather, my last. His statuesque frame, broad shoulders and the curve of his muscular arms, were all evident, even beneath the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. His golden eyes were practically smoldering, which stirred up a few butterflies in my tummy. And his square, sculpted jaw framed every arch and line of what was quite possibly his most perfect feature of all— his mouth. My eyes stopped there, completely distracted, instantly entertained by my imagination. What would a kiss from Jonah feel like?

  Heavenly, no doubt.

  “You look beautiful,” he said, a heart-melting grin breaking through the chiseled lines.

  My heart skipped a beat. The way he was looking at me made me feel beautiful. Truth was, I could have said the same exact thing to him, but I knew it would sound silly coming from me. But that’s exactly what he was, beautiful. In every sense of the word. Too beautiful, really.

  “Thank you,” I finally said, running a hand over the soft fabric of my borrowed dress. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

  He smiled again.

  That mouth.

  “Are you guys going to stand there all night or are you going to join us?” Shayne hollered from the table she and Rebecca were now sitting at, interrupting our moment.

  Back to reality.

  Jonah pulled out a chair for me, waiting until I was seated before taking his own. He was a gentleman, which definitely wasn’t something I could say about any other guy I had ever been on a date with. I could tell by the impressed expressions on Rebecca and Shayne’s faces that he had just scored major points with them, too.

  Once seated, I did a quick round of introductions, knowing it was a bit overwhelming to have all of them sitting there, staring at him. Dean was running late, which meant Rebecca could focus all of her attention on Jonah. Wasting no time, she and Shayne started firing off questions. Fortunately, they kept them pretty general and didn’t dive into any personal topics. Jonah was patient with his answers, so it didn’t take long for him to win both of them over.

  When Dean arrived, the conversation shifted. Shayne swiftly lost interest in Jonah and started chatting up Dean about his connection to the DJ. Jonah was finally out of the hot seat, I couldn’t tell which of us was more relieved.

  “Thank God,” I whispered to him. “I’m sorry about that.”

  He shrugged it off, “Honestly, I was expecting that would happen.”

  “Subtlety clearly isn’t their thing.”

  “I think they have your best interest at heart,” he said, as though he understood their intentions.

  “Or they’re just being incredibly nosey.”

  The left corner of his mouth turned up slightly, revealing his mind-numbing smirk once again. “I think they’re just being protective,” he said.

  I was too distracted to challenge his remark. “Maybe,” I mumbled, forcing my eyes away.

  Sitting beside him suddenly felt oddly intimate. We were, after all, sharing the same breathing space. Of course, I had sat beside hundreds of guys over the years in various situations, never thinking anything of it. But sitting there, next to him, I suddenly felt like I was on high-alert. Every part of me was aware of every part of him. It was very distracting and disorienting.

  “So, have you lived in Eugene long?” I asked. It was such a lame question, but I had to work my way up to what I really wanted to ask him.

  His eyes flickered to mine and he hesitated for a moment, “Uh, a few months. Not too long.”

  “Are you originally from around here?”

  He shook his head, pursing his lips. “No, I’m not from around here.” He lifted his hand up along the line of his jawbone, tracing it to the back of his neck, allowing it to rest there. “I kind of wound up here by accident, actually.”

  I waited for him to offer an explanation, but he didn’t. Instead, he looked down and smiled to himself, which only made me want to pry even further. I didn’t do well with vague, it was unsettling for me. Bottom line, I liked to ask questions and I liked to get answers. It was one of the many reasons I had decided to pursue journalism, in the first place. It gave me an excuse to dig into details, both monumental and mundane. And Jonah was no exception, I wanted to know everything about him.

  “What does that mean?” I finally asked. I couldn’t help myself.

  He turned toward me, leaning in as his eyes pierced mine. My heart instantly fluttered in my chest. It was kind of intense.

  “It means I wasn’t planning to come here at all, it just sort of happened. And I definitely never intended on staying,” he said, never taking his eyes away from mine. “Honestly, this place really isn’t meant for me.”

  His words sounded cryptic. Like there was a deeper meaning to what he was saying, but whatever the hidden message was, I didn’t understand it. And something told me, he didn’t want me to.

  “What about your family?”
>
  “Well, I didn’t exactly have a normal up-bringing,” he said lightly, finally looking away. “I spent the majority of my years with a father-figure who showed me the ropes.”

  A father-figure? “You mean, like a guardian?” I wondered out loud.

  He turned and looked at me closely, a slow smile spreading across his handsome face. “No,” he said, “he wasn’t my guardian. If anything, Sam was more of a mentor.”

  Every answer he gave me inspired five more questions in my head. But I was getting the impression that I was making him uncomfortable with all of the things I was asking him. I wanted to ask him about his parents, but the fact that he hadn’t brought them up made me feel like I shouldn’t either.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled, looking away from him. “I don’t mean to be so rude.”

  “Don’t apologize, you’re not being rude.”

  I couldn’t help but smile, appreciating his understanding. “I really don’t mean to pry, I have to put myself in check all of the time.”

  He smiled back at me before looking down at his hands. “I’m flattered you’re interested,” he said softly.

  The crowd suddenly erupted in a thunder of clapping and screaming, pulling us both from our private moment. We all turned our attention up to the stage, just as someone on a microphone introduced the DJ we had all come to hear. I heard Shayne shriek from across the table and within seconds she was up on her feet, along with almost everyone else.

  “Come on, Hailey!” she exclaimed, pulling me to my feet.

  Rebecca also stood and encouraged me to join her and Shayne on the dance floor. Still tugging on my arm, I gave Jonah an apologetic glance before rolling my eyes and reluctantly standing. I followed them out to the dance floor only a few feet away.

  “Have fun!” Jonah called after me.

  I turned back to him, holding his eyes for the shortest moment before Shayne robbed all of my attention. She was already dancing with more intensity than anyone else on the dance floor, still holding onto my arm.

  “What are you doing?” I hissed at her, wishing she wouldn’t have interrupted my conversation.

  She turned to me, finally releasing my arm. “I’m saving poor Jonah.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I couldn’t help but feel offended.

  “Hailey,” Rebecca said, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder, “you were firing off more questions than that poor guy can handle.”

  “It was an interrogation,” Shayne chimed in.

  Rebecca nodded at me, clearly pleased that she wasn’t the only one who thought I was going overboard. “He’s clearly into you, because he didn’t even look annoyed as you dissected his every word.”

  “I wasn’t dissecting anything,” I pouted.

  “Oh, come on, Hailey, you know you were. That’s what you do,” Shayne said pointedly. Before I could react, she quickly added, “It’s not a bad thing, so don’t take it that way. But it can be a little overwhelming, especially when he doesn’t even know you.”

  “And you weren’t exactly giving him an opportunity to ask you any questions,” Rebecca said.

  “Give him a minute to catch his breath,” Shayne said, nodding her head in Jonah’s direction.

  I didn’t want to admit it, but they were right. The last thing I wanted to do was scare him off. Despite his reassurance that I wasn’t asking too many questions, it was more than likely that he was just being polite. I finally caved and nodded in agreement.

  The three of us created a small space for ourselves near the edge of the dance floor, still within view of our table. It didn’t take long for us to surrender to the music, allowing it to move through our bodies. One song blended into another and before I knew it, we had been dancing and singing along to the music for five or six songs.

  Dean finally joined Rebecca on the dance floor, leaving Jonah sitting alone at the table. I hoped he would join us out there, too, but he didn’t move. Truth be told, I didn’t think he had taken his eyes off of me since I had left him sitting there. Not only had our eyes met every single time I glanced over at him, I could literally feel his eyes on me. And I had to admit that I felt pleased to know that in a room full of people, I had held his undivided attention.

  “I need water,” I announced to the group as the next song ended. It was a lie, I really just wanted to spend more time with Jonah, but no one seemed to think anything of it.

  I pushed through the few people separating the space between me and him. As I made my way back to the table, his posture relaxed a bit, by the time I reached him, for the first time that night, he finally sat back against his chair. He exhaled loudly and a slow smile made it’s way to his glorious mouth.

  “Enjoying the view?” I teased, doubting he would understand what I was implying. He didn’t seem to catch onto my sarcasm or subtle jokes.

  “Definitely,” he says with a nod.

  I smiled to myself, it had definitely gone right over his head.

  As a slow, familiar song started, I reached out for his hands. “Dance with me?” I asked, expecting him to accept.

  But he instantly froze and I regretted my question immediately. He didn’t want to dance with me. Had I completely misread him? Was it not me that he had been watching for the past half an hour? I felt like such a fool. I looked away, unsure of what to say.

  “I’ll try,” he said softly, standing from the chair.

  I looked up at him through my lashes and relief swept through me. We said nothing as I led him to a small open area on the dance floor. I felt incredibly nervous with anticipation and suddenly shy and unsure. The very idea of being in his arms was enough to make my heart race, the actual act of it might cause it to burst out of my chest.

  We faced each other and exchanged awkward smiles, slowly inching in closer until we were directly in front of one another. I was the first to touch him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. His body instantly felt rigid beneath my arms, which alarmed me. I released my hold on him and took a small step back, certain now that he didn’t want to dance with me.

  “I feel like a fool,” he muttered.

  I wasn’t sure if he knew I could hear him, so I didn’t say anything. Things were feeling increasingly uncomfortable with every passing second.

  “So, I clearly can’t dance,” he suddenly declared, dropping his arms to his sides, taking a step back.

  I pressed my lips together to keep from giggling at him. That was his problem? He wasn’t a good dancer?

  “I’m not entirely sure where my hands should go,” he continued, looking flustered.

  “Can I?” I asked, reaching for his hands. He slowly nodded, his eyes watching intently as I gently placed them around my back, “Right here.”

  Reaching up again, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself into him. Instinctively, we started moving to the music. It definitely wasn’t fluid, but it was a vast improvement from our first attempt.

  He still felt somewhat tense, but I couldn’t focus on that. I was too distracted by the fact that his mouth was only inches from my temple. It caused blood to rush all the way down to my toes, making my skin tingle. The warmth of his body against mine was comforting and inviting. Being in his arms felt right and I liked it.

  There was something about Jonah that drew me in and held me captive. Only I didn’t feel bound. I felt safe.

  - 4 -

  mystified

  JONAH

  My senses were on fire. It was all too overwhelming, too powerful, too distracting. I couldn’t focus. With a single touch, she was unraveling every fiber of my being and I could feel myself falling in a downward spiral. I had nothing to hold onto but her and I didn’t know that I would ever want to let go.

  I tried to mimic the way her body instinctively moved to the music, but even the simple act of swaying from side to side suddenly seemed complicated. Of all of my senses, the one I was most accustomed to using, suddenly seemed impaired. While I could hear the music, I cou
ldn’t concentrate on it or make sense of anything they were singing.

  Everything about her intoxicated me. Her touch and scent, the sound of her voice, the feel of her skin. There wasn’t anything about her that my body didn’t involuntarily respond to. All of these new feelings were pulling me in deeper into places I didn’t recognize or understand. Feelings I had heard about, though I was never meant to experience firsthand.

  “You’re getting the hang of this,” Hailey said softly.

  Without thinking, I pulled her in closer to me. Although this was the first time I’d ever held her in my arms, I feared it would also be my last. “I don’t know that I will ever really get the hang of this,” I admitted, knowing she wouldn’t understand the true meaning of my words.

  The song slowed to an end. I knew it was my cue to let her go, but I didn’t want to. Hailey took a small step back, her hands traveling from my shoulders to my forearms. I had the sudden urge to pull her back into me and never let her go, but before I could make a move, she took another step back, out of my arms completely.

  “I think I need some air,” she said, gesturing the exit.

  I nodded my response.

  As she turned to lead the way toward the door, I reached for her hand before I could stop the impulse. My craving to touch her was too strong to resist. She looked down at her hand and then up at me, the surprise evident in her expression. Before I could question if I should withdraw my hand, she laced her fingers in mine and smiled at me. It was the only reassurance I needed.

  I expected it to be crowded outside, but it was cold and raining, so other than a handful of others, it was just me and Hailey. We huddled close together under one of the large heaters in an effort to stay warm and dry, our hands still intertwined. The silence between us was growing, although it was comfortable. But this was my chance to finally have a real conversation with her and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity.