Reckless (The Reckless Series)

by True, Holli

“What do you like most about college?” I asked.

  Hailey creased her brows together, clearly taken aback by my question. “Oh,” she said, biting her bottom lip before continuing, “I don’t really know. I guess, the feeling of independence?” She let out a quick laugh, “I honestly haven’t really thought about what I’ve enjoyed most so far. Each day just seems to blend into the next, it’s easy to get lost in the day to day shuffle, you know? Class after class, shift after shift, study group after study group... It’s been pretty monotonous, really.”

  “Yeah,” I said, like I knew what she meant.

  “I used to think that college would be this crazy experience, that I would have the wildest times of my life. And that hasn’t happened at all. It’s been pretty tame, to be honest.” She exhaled softly, “What about you? What’s been your favorite thing about college?”

  “Meeting you has definitely been a highlight.”

  Hailey’s eyes widened for a brief second and a slow smirk spread across her lips. “Wow, that was pretty slick how you just did that,” she said, laughing softly to herself.

  “It wasn’t a come on,” I said, hoping she would hear the honesty in my voice, “I meant it.” If only she knew. If only I could tell her all of the things I wanted to say.

  Her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red as she looked down at our hands. She didn’t say anything, which made me nervous. Had I said too much? The last thing I wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.

  Suddenly, without a word, she leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “That was really sweet,” she said softly. “No one has ever said anything like that to me before.” She peered up at me, looking mystified. “I’ve never met a guy like you.”

  I had never questioned my existence in this world before that night. I had always known and accepted my role and had always performed my duties without questions. But with Hailey in my arms, I was questioning everything. The very thought of going back to the world I knew caused an agonizing pain in my chest. It was in that moment that I knew there was no turning back, but moving forward would be equally impossible.

  . . .

  Maven's was crawling with it's usual mix of college students and locals. Music pumped through the speakers, diluting the murmur of conversations being shared among various groups positioned through out the popular hang out. Shayne was sitting on a couch in the opposite corner, preoccupied with a guy. Rebecca and Dean had long since called it a night.

  “Truth or dare?” Hailey asked, pulling me from my thoughts. She was standing a few feet away, cradling a cue stick in her hands.

  “Something tells me I’m getting hustled here,” I said with a laugh.

  Hailey raised an eyebrow at me. “Are you backing out of our deal, Jonah? I’m shocked, I didn’t peg you for a sore loser,” she teased.

  “Oh, this game is far from over, Miss Covington,” I said, trying to refrain from smiling. “Truth.”

  She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before asking, “What’s your guilty pleasure?”

  I pondered the question for a moment before settling on a response, “People watching.”

  “Really?” She looked surprised by my answer.

  I had to laugh. “People are very interesting. Everyone has their own set of mannerisms and way of moving and speaking. What can I say? I find it very intriguing.”

  Hailey raised an eyebrow at me, “Hmm. I’ve never really thought about it, but I guess you’re right.”

  “You should try it sometime.”

  “Maybe I will,” she said, looking bewildered.

  I walked to the pool table, declared my shot and took aim. The cue ball shot across the table, knocking the red ball into the pocket, as I had predicted. She was still winning, but I was finally getting the hang of it and narrowing the gap.

  “Lucky shot,” Hailey muttered, rolling her eyes before giggling.

  “Truth or Dare?” I asked her, finding myself distracted by how genuinely happy she looked as she laughed.

  “Truth,” she said without hesitation, her eyebrow arched as she spoke the words.

  This was only the second question I had been able to throw her way since we had started this game. My first was a bit of a waste, asking her a question I already knew the answer to, her secret talent, which was dancing. I had already witnessed her talent first hand, though she had no idea I had already seen her in her element.

  “If you could have any two things in the world, what would they be?”

  I watched as she mulled over my question for a moment, fidgeting with her necklace with her free hand. She was so beautiful in the dim light, she had captivated my attention all evening. Despite my natural instincts to keep a watchful eye on everything going on around me, my eyes remained locked on her.

  “Don’t laugh at me,” she warned, pointing a finger at me. The smile on her face made her threat humorous. “But the first would be love. I’ve never been in love before and I am dying to know if it is as good as they make it seem in the movies.” She shifted her weight uncomfortably, “I know that is such a girly thing to want, but I’m going to own my answer.”

  Like her, love intrigued me. I had always wondered the same thing, was it as good as everyone made it out to be. Was the heartache that love often caused worth it in the end? What did it feel like to truly be in love with someone, to have your mind, body and spirit be consumed by one person?

  “The second would have to be one more conversation with my dad,” she continued. Her tone took on a somber tone and all at once, she looked wistful. “He died when I was younger.”

  I could feel the weight of her words and was blown away by her honesty. There were a million things I wanted to say to her, to comfort her. It was clear that no matter how brave of a face she wore for everyone around her, she was still struggling with her father’s death. I had a feeling it affected her more than she would ever admit to anyone— even herself.

  “It just got heavy in here,” she said, flashing a smile at me. “Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t apologize, Hailey. Thank you for sharing that with me.” Most people would have rattled off random material things. But not Hailey.

  I predicted my next shot, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than her. The cue ball clipped the yellow ball, barely nudging it forward, ending my turn.

  “Now you’re going down!” she declared, her green eyes blazing with the thrill of competitiveness. “Twelve, corner pocket,” she said, gesturing to the right side of the table. She took aim and fired off her shot, the purple striped ball flew across the table, disappearing down the hole she had claimed.

  “Dare,” I said before she could ask.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to say that!” she said happily, walking over to the jukebox a few feet away from us. “I hope you’re ready to do a little dancing,” she called over her shoulder as she eyed the list of songs.

  “Wait,” I said, instantly regretting my decision. “Truth. I pick truth!”

  “Too late, Jonah. I dare you to dance,” she said, punching in her selection, “on the table.” The music instantly switched from a mellow acoustic number to an upbeat mix with a female vocalist. Hailey, wearing an ecstatic grin, clapped her hands together with excitement as she swayed her way over to me. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to accept the challenge. “You said dare.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, but I knew her well enough to know, she wasn’t going to change her dare. I glanced around at all of the people who were suddenly watching us and tried to swallow down the lump in my throat. I tried to remember that I would never see these people again and I really didn’t care what they thought of me. Deep down, I also knew that no matter what Hailey asked of me, I would do.

  I climbed up on the table, feeling it shift under my feet from my weight. I looked at her with uncertainty, “This isn’t going to support me.”

  “Then you fall about three feet to the ground,” she laughed. “Don’t be such a baby! Dance!”<
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  Everyone in the room was now staring at me, including Ben, who was across the room, staring at me in humored disbelief. Some people laughed and pointed, others were just shocked to see me standing on a table. I felt my cheeks get hot being under their scrutiny. I tried to force it out of my mind and find the beat in the music, moving my body felt awkward and no doubt looked equally as terrible. This was the very last place I expected to find myself this evening, it was a moment I knew I would never forget.

  People began to gather around the table, cheering their encouragement in my failed attempt at dancing. I couldn’t look at Hailey as I moved my body, knowing how ridiculous I looked. After this, I was certain she would end the evening from sheer embarrassment. Suddenly I felt the table shift underneath me and I was certain I was going down, but it was Hailey, joining me up on the table. She wasted no time, instinctually moving her body to the music, her body so close to mine, all of my concentration lost.

  “I know you’re embarrassed, but admit you’re having fun,” she said in my ear.

  “I’m having the time of my life,” I confessed, meaning every word.

  She giggled, placing my arms at the small of her back, never missing a step, “Me, too.”

  I pulled her in closer to me, never wanting this night to end. Being with her was more incredible than I could have ever imagined it would be. How I would ever return to a life without her was beyond me, but I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to focus on my time with her, as long as possible.

  . . .

  We walked in silence for a long time, our fingers clasped together. Our steps were slow and small, neither of us in a hurry. We weren’t far from our destination, her dorm hall, which would mark the end of our date. I had been dreading these final moments all evening because goodbye was the very last word I wanted to leave my mouth.

  Shayne had gone home with the guy from Maven’s, leaving just Hailey and I. I was grateful to have a little time alone with her, I just wished I could somehow stop time and prolong having to call it a night.

  “I had a lot of fun tonight,” Hailey said, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Me, too,” I said, squeezing her hand in mine. I processed the next set of words for several seconds before saying them, knowing I shouldn’t. “We should do it again sometime.”

  Hailey looked up at me and smiled, “I would really like that.”

  We didn’t say anything the rest of the way to her dorm. I felt completely content in the silence, proud to walk beside her, unable to believe that this beautiful girl’s hand was in mine. After spending so long wondering what it would be like to touch her, I now knew the way she felt in my arms. After tonight, they would never feel anything but empty. But I had to accept it for what it was and remind myself that my arms weren’t meant to hold her.

  Slowing to a stop in front of her building, neither of us released our hold on each other. “This is me,” she finally said, I couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in her voice. While I couldn’t be sure, something told me she didn’t want the night to end anymore than I did.

  The rain was starting up again, every drop intruding in on us, narrowing the gap of time I had left with her. I had never paid any mind to the weather before tonight and now I could curse its existence. “You better get inside before you get soaked,” I said, trying to mask my heavy tone.

  “It’s just rain, Jonah,” she said through her lashes, leaning closer to me.

  I felt everything around us slow down, feeling myself pull further into her, losing myself and my judgement completely. I didn’t want to think about consequences, rules or boundaries. There was only one thing I wanted to think about, the only thing I had ever desired in my entire life. Hailey Covington.

  She turned and released my hand, positioning herself directly in front of me, reaching up to hold onto the front folds of my jacket. “I feel foolish saying this,” she said, “but I feel so different when I am around you. I just, I feel uninhibited. Free.”

  My aching to touch her was too strong to deny. Without hesitating, I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her waist. I couldn’t explain it, but I found it easier to breathe when I had her close to me, she was my own personal lifeline. “I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same way. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

  “I don’t want this night to end,” she said, keeping her eyes down. Neither of us said anything for a long time. The rain was the only reminder that this moment was real and not a figment of my imagination.

  She looked up at me with her big green eyes, drawing me in deeper, “I think I could fall for you, Jonah.”

  I realized it wasn’t just her eyes pulling me in, it was her hands, tugging on my jacket. Our mouths were only inches apart when she peered up at me one last time with curiosity and adoration before she slowly closed them. My mind was racing at a million miles per second. Kissing Hailey was not something I had been prepared to do, not that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind a dozen times that evening.

  But I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I just wanted to kiss her.

  When our lips met, it was almost more than I could handle, but not enough that I would ever want to stop. Her lips were so soft and sweet, causing a shiver that shot all the way down my body. We pulled back for a moment, neither of us satisfied with the little taste we had divulged in. My hands instinctively traveled up to the back of her neck, cupping her beautiful face close to mine. I pulled her into me with more force, kissing her with a passion I had never known. We clung to each other in the darkness, in the falling rain, lost in a moment that would forever be ours.

  - 5 -

  say anything

  HAILEY

  I sighed softly, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. I had no idea what time of day it was, but judging from my achy muscles, I had been there for hours. Despite my body’s resistance, I wasn’t ready to stop.

  Kneeling down, I allowed my fingers to rest lightly on the hardwood floors beneath me. As soon as the vocalist’s breathy words filled the studio, I slowly raised, moving my hips and arms in harmony to the music. With each rhythmic beat of the drum, I slowed to a brief stop, emphasizing each move. The music moved through me, carrying me across the studio, making me feel weightless.

  Wrapping my arms around my body, I hugged my torso, feeling every tormented word the singer was crooning. A double pique turn and a small leap forward and then I was down on the floor. My arms stretched out to each side and then above. It almost felt like I was reaching out for someone.

  Jonah instantly came to mind.

  And with that, all concentration on my dance was lost. I groaned loudly and pushed myself up to my feet, trying to force his face from my mind. Walking back to the center of the floor, I began again. Determination seeped through every bone in my body, but my aching muscles screamed at me in protest, resisting every movement I forced. By the third eight count, I misplaced my foot, which caused me to miss a turn. Rather than try to recover from my error, I took a deep breath and accepted that it was time to call it a night.

  Yet the whole point of being there was to release all of the mental chaos going on in my head. Dance was always my solution. But tonight it wasn’t working.

  It had been a week since I had last seen Jonah. Even though we had never talked about it, I was certain he was going to stop by my work the day after our date. But he didn’t. I felt so pathetic, perking up each time the bell on the door rang out with a new customer. My hopes were dashed every single time I saw that it wasn’t him. By Tuesday I finally gave up expecting to see him, realizing he wasn’t coming at all.

  We hadn’t exchanged numbers, which didn’t even occur to me until the day after our date. So, with no way to contact him, I was forced to wait for him to come and see me. Which shouldn’t have been an issue, since he knew where I worked and the dorm I was living in. But he hadn’t, which was incredibly discouraging.

  I couldn’t help but wonder if I had misread our
evening together completely? But every time I replayed the events of that night in my head, everything seemed so perfect. I was so positive that he felt the same way about me that I felt about him. Which begged the question— why hadn’t he come to see me? No one had ever looked at me the way he had and I had certainly never been kissed with more passion in my life.

  Mindlessly reaching up, I brushed my fingertips across my bottom lip, remembering the way it had felt to kiss him. Obviously, I had been kissed by other guys, but it had always felt kind of awkward and stiff. But kissing Jonah had practically been euphoric in comparison.

  Who was I kidding? There was no comparison. That perfect mouth of his did not disappoint.

  But it wasn’t only about the kiss— even though that alone had been amazing. It was the way he looked at me just before our lips met. The way his arms wrapped around me, hugging me so close that I could feel his heart beating in his chest. And, above all else, the small gasp of air he inhaled from my very breath. The moment had been so incredibly romantic, even the mere memory of it caused a stirring from within that I couldn’t ignore.

  He doesn’t deserve you, my conscience chimed in.

  “Damn right,” I said to my reflection, trying to mean it. But I didn’t. Jonah had intrigued me and even though I was angry at him, I still wanted to see him. Sighing heavily, I bent down to pick up my bag, wondering where it had all gone wrong.

  . . .

  On Sunday I met up with a study group at the library to cram for an upcoming Media Theory exam. What started out as a large group, slowly trickled down to just myself and two other girls from my class. We had spread out across a large table with an assortment of books and notes laid out before each of us. We quizzed one another, taking turns asking questions until the answers became second nature.

  It was almost eleven when I started closing my books and gathering my belongings. I wasn’t convinced I would ace my test, but I felt good about everything I had retained. After returning some books to their rightful shelves, I heard a familiar voice from across the library.