Reckless (The Reckless Series)

by True, Holli

  “Guide me?” I asked, unsure of what he meant.

  “Well, you already know that I’m linked to your subconscious. Consider me your voice of reason.”

  I nodded slowly, it felt crazy to have something so bizarre actually make sense in my head. Ignoring the fact that we were still standing in the middle of the stairs, I sat down. Jonah followed suit, sitting on the step beside me.

  “And when I die?” I asked softly.

  Jonah looked alarmed by my question at first. After a moment, he pressed his brows together and looked at me closely. “Then we cross over. Together.”

  Wait. Was he referring to Heaven? The inevitable Afterlife that so many humans worried about? That place? Jonah and I. Together?

  My silence gave away my thoughts. Or it may have been my expression, I couldn’t be sure. But Jonah seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, without me having to say a word. “Tethered, remember?” he said softly, gently taking my hand in his so he could lift it to his mouth.

  I took a deep breath, letting this new revelation settle within me. My curiosity fueled more questions. “What about my dad?”

  Jonah smiled, “He’s there.”

  “With his Guardian.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Sam.”

  “Your Sam?” I asked immediately, remembering the conversation from our very first date. The one who had mentored him. Of course!

  Jonah nodded, looking wistful, appearing to be lost in a thought. “It was hard for me to accept Sam’s

  departure,” he spoke calmly, choosing his words carefully. “In some ways I understood your loss. That’s why I went to see you that day, at your father’s funeral. I saw how much it affected you and how withdrawn you had become. I just wanted to be there for you and let you know that you weren’t alone.”

  I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. It was evident just how much Jonah loved Sam and that he still felt the absence of him. I found it comforting to know that my dad had Sam now, that he wasn’t alone, either.

  “Did you get to say goodbye?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

  “Briefly,” Jonah said, resting his arms on his legs as he leaned forward. “There really wasn’t a warning, when your dad had his heart attack, we were just as shocked as you and your mom. When you were bedside, talking to your dad that last time, Sam and I knew he wasn’t going to pull through, even before the doctors did.”

  My heart sank. If my dad was already that far gone, had he even heard what I had said to him? I had to know. “He didn’t hear me, did he?”

  Jonah hesitated for a long time and then repositioned himself toward me, grasping my hand. “He didn’t. But Sam told him everything you said. Every single word.”

  “How do you know?” I asked doubtfully.

  He smiled softly at me, “Because I was there.”

  Chills shot through me. “You saw my dad... After...?”

  Jonah nodded, “I promise you, your dad knows you love him very much. And he loves you.” He reached out and brushed away my tears with his thumbs. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Hailey.”

  A smile broke through and I reached up, holding his hand against my cheek. “Sometimes it’s good to cry. It’s a human thing,” I teased him, trying to lighten the mood. I angled myself toward him, resting my back against the wall as I exhaled heavily. He moved with me, settling into the carpeted step, our legs tangled together, just like a perfect puzzle. Now sitting face-on with each other, we exchanged adoring smiles, knowing today was bringing a whole new level of intimacy between the two of us.

  “What else are you curious about?” he asked.

  There were so many things, I didn’t even know which road to take next. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” I asked, grateful he was willing to be so open and honest with me.

  “I don’t mind,” he promised. “I know so much about your world and about you.”

  “You don’t have parents?”

  “No. We aren’t born, we’re created.”

  “Do you age?”

  “No, we don’t age. Experience is really how we gauge a Guardian’s age. For instance, Leo and Abram are considered my elders because they have years of experience beyond me.”

  “Hmm,” I tried to wrap my brain around it, but it was such a strange concept to comprehend. “Do you get to choose who you will watch over?”

  He shook his head, “No.”

  “What if you don’t like the person?”

  “You’re stuck,” he said with a short laugh. “But what’s not to like? If we do our job properly, guiding them to be good and do the right things, the risk of disliking who we’re assigned to is pretty slim.” He paused for a moment, “We’re not like you on our side of the world. We lack several of the human senses, in fact, that’s part of the allure of your world for us. We gain touch, taste and smell.”

  I shook my head, “You only have hearing and sight?”

  Jonah nodded. “It’s extremely frustrating phasing back into that side. I feel so removed from you.”

  I couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to spend countless years that way.

  “But,” he continued, “I guess when you think about it, I’m actually more connected, since I’m tapped to your instincts over there.” He shrugged, “I didn’t really know what I was missing until I invaded your world. It’s my own fault, really.”

  “What you were missing?” I asked, not understanding what he meant.

  “Things are vastly different where I’m from,” he said slowly. “Human emotions, for instance, those don’t exist over there. Needless to say, they really took me by surprise.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I was in a constant state of numb before. Completely unaware of what feelings and emotional attachment felt like. Your world opened my eyes to all of it and when I go back, it almost feels magnified because it consumes me.”

  “Do you wish you wouldn’t have done it?” I asked, before I could stop myself. I didn’t know that I really wanted to hear the answer to my question.

  Jonah looked at me closely, “Absolutely not. I wouldn’t give back a second that I’ve spent with you like this. I’ll cherish this time with you forever.” He sounded so confident and sincere, hearing his loving words made my heart race in my chest.

  “I wish there was a way for you to be here. Always.”

  A new sadness slowly filled his eyes. He nodded faintly, “If only there was a way.”

  My heart dropped. “So you’re saying there isn’t?” my voice sounded so small, I barely recognized it as my own.

  “No,” he said, reaching for my hand. “I am what I am and you are what you are.”

  I frowned.

  “Hey,” he said, reaching out to caress my face, “don’t do that.”

  “It isn’t fair,” I said, looking away.

  “Hailey, I’m not sorry, I refuse to be. I was chosen for you and you were chosen for me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s concrete proof that we were destined for each other.”

  And just like that, Jonah washed away my resentment for our situation. With those few words, he made me believe that he was exactly right. We were destined for each other.

  “You have no idea how incredibly romantic you are,” I said, pulling him into me. It was my turn to cover him in loving kisses, I wanted him to feel the love he made me feel. My heart belonged to Jonah and I had no doubt that his heart belonged to me.

  - 18 -

  let's be still

  JONAH

  The next few days passed slowly for me. Hailey’s house had been filled with family for three days straight with Christmas festivities, which kept her fully occupied. There was the day-after shopping excursion with her mom and Aunt Nikki, which was their annual tradition. That Sunday, she and her mom enjoyed a day of baking, watching movies and spending time together.

  It was just as the holidays had always been for their family, only this year I wished I could
be a part of it with them. Hailey had asked me on more than one occasion to join her. She wanted me there as much as I wanted to be there, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not with Leo and Abram, they would never understand the situation Hailey and I were in and more than that, they would never accept it. Finding a way to break it to them was a challenge I wasn’t yet ready to face. Not when things between Hailey and I were going so smooth and natural. The last thing I intended to do was disrupt it.

  The absence of her touch was the hardest thing for me to cope with every time I went back to the place where I belonged. The usual numbness had been replaced with an insistent, nagging ache from within. A painful reminder that no matter how badly I wanted to feel her, hold her, touch her, I couldn’t. The more time I spent with her, the more unbearable it was becoming. But I wasn’t about to leave her again. I loved her too much and being with her was the only thing I wanted anymore.

  On Monday, when her mom and Tom were both back to work, we found ourselves alone, once again. It was impossible to believe just how much our relationship had grown over the ten days that had passed since her return home. Now that all of my secrets were out, there was nothing left to hide. I was an open book with her, answering every question she threw my way, giving her a window into my world. Her curiosity fascinated me and I relished the fact that she wanted to share in my life as much as I shared in hers.

  “If you could go anywhere tomorrow where would you go?” she asked, leaning forward, propping her elbows on her knees. She was sitting beside me on the couch in her living room, her legs bridged over my own, her back against the arm rest.

  I pondered her question for a moment, remembering a place I’d heard about years before. A place that had captivated my imagination. “Fiji.”

  “Really?” she smiled, “That’s where my dad took my mom for one of their anniversaries.”

  I nodded, taking her hand in mine. “I remember. It took Sam months to stop talking about it.” I opened her palm and slowly traced the lines with my finger.

  “My mom loved it there, too. She still talks about going back with Tom one day.” She went silent, looking deep in thought, smiling to herself. Then she snuggled in closer to me and softly said, “Let’s go to Fiji.”

  I laughed easily, “I’ll get your bags.”

  “I’m serious, we should go. We could spend our days in the sand, splashing around in the waves. And at night, we could dance under the stars.” She pulled my hand up to her face, tilting her head to rest her cheek within it. With a soft sigh, she closed her eyes, a slow smile spread across her face. “I can see us there now.”

  I tried to visualize it with her, letting my imagination take over my head. White beaches, turquoise water, palm trees and endless amounts of sunshine. I couldn’t help but wonder what the ocean water and sand would feel like as a human. Or just how incredible it would be to hold Hailey in my arms, under the stars. The images I had in my mind were so clear and so vivid, I almost believed them to be true.

  “I can see us, too.”

  She opened her eyes, beaming up at me, “And now we’ve shared a dream.”

  I was awestruck. She smiled knowingly at me, referring to one of our conversations from a previous day. Since sleep wasn’t something I could do, she said we’d just have to dream while we were awake. I had laughed the notion off, not sure of how to do such a thing and quite certain it wouldn’t be the same. Leave it to her to find a way to squash my theory.

  “But,” she said, sitting straight up, “there’s something we have to do first.”

  “What’s that?” I asked with amusement.

  She swung her legs around to the floor, taking my hand in hers at the same time. “I’ll show you,” she said, pulling me to my feet. She led me out to the center of the living room and then released my hand. “Just trust me.”

  I did. Saying nothing, I nodded my acceptance of her unnecessary request. I watched her as she moved across the room, her light footsteps always gave the appearance that she was gliding, not stepping. She fiddled with the stereo until slow music surrounded us.

  She made her way back to me, her green eyes sparkling as she smiled softly. Taking my hands once again, she placed them around the small of her back, wrapping her own around my neck. “Before we can dance under the stars, you need some lessons.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh under my breath. There was no doubt about that. Dancing simply wasn’t something that was natural for me and I had little faith it would be something I would ever conquer.

  “Close your eyes,” she said lightly, her hand caressing the back of my neck as she spoke. But with the way she was looking at me, I didn’t want to.

  “Are you prepared to catch me when I lose my balance?” I teased, closing just one eye so I could still peek at her.

  Hailey silenced me with a quick kiss, giggling against my lips. “I thought you were going to trust me?”

  “Blind trust. Literally.” I abided by her request with a smirk, firmly closing both eyes, while attempting to maintain moving with her.

  “Listen to the music,” she said softly, “move your body with it. Don’t over think it and don’t force it. Just listen and let your body sway.” She nuzzled in closer to me, burying her forehead into the base of my neck. Feeling her breath on my skin made it harder for me to concentrate on moving my feet, but it was a welcomed distraction.

  I pulled her closer against me, breathing in the sweet scent of her. Raising one hand up, my fingertips lightly trailed the length of her back. Instantly, her body shivered in my arms.

  “I think we’re ready for Fiji,” she murmured faintly.

  Running my fingers through her hair, I brought them around to her chin, gently guiding it toward me. “Lead the way,” I said with a gentle kiss, pulling back just enough to whisper the words, “you know I’m always close behind.”

  . . .

  “So what are we doing tomorrow?” It was going to be the first New Years Eve I would ever spend as a human, with Hailey. My excitement was palpable. She had been concocting some sort of plan all week, giving me no insight into what she had planned. It was making me crazy not knowing.

  Hailey glanced sideways at me for a brief second and then instantly looked away, shaking her head. “I’m not telling you! It’s a surprise!” She pointed with a gloved hand to a building a few feet ahead, signaling where we were headed next. It was a cold and snowy afternoon, though it didn’t seem to bother anyone as they bustled about the sidewalks around us.

  “Have I ever told you how strongly I dislike surprises?”

  “You haven’t,” she said nonchalantly, keeping her eyes away. “Regardless, I’m not telling you.”

  “I like to be prepared,” I said firmly. “Always.”

  Hailey stopped walking, taking my hand so I would stop with her. She smiled broadly at me, “It’s a good surprise. I promise.”

  It wasn’t in my nature to be calm when it came to the unknown. For Guardian’s, the element of surprise was our greatest weakness. Of course, I had nothing to fear when it came to surprises from Hailey, but it didn’t change how I felt about being left in the dark.

  She sighed softly when I said nothing. “We are going somewhere tomorrow. Just you and I,” she leaned in on her tip toes and kissed me softly on the lips.

  I raised a brow at her, “That actually helps put me at ease.”

  “Good. But that’s all you’re getting out of me, so don’t even bother trying to get anymore hints.”

  “I’ll try my best.”

  She wrinkled her nose at me, “Well, consider me a vault. You’re not cracking this code,” she said, pointing a finger at herself.

  “Is that a challenge?” I teased, pulling her toward me.

  “It’s a promise.”

  “Is that right?”

  She tried to suppress her smile by biting her bottom lip, which I found to be incredibly sexy. I didn’t care that we were at a standstill in the middle of the sidewalk with people passing
by. Or that there was a blizzard worthy amount of snowfall whipping around us. I cupped her face in my hands and guided her mouth to mine, kissing her with more passion and desire than I knew existed within me.

  With both of us breathless, we finally pulled away a few minutes later, maintaining our hold on one another. Hailey giggled and blushed as she looked down, resting her forehead on my chest. I kissed the top of her head, cherishing the intoxicating scent of her.

  “I don’t know how you expect me to function properly when you kiss me like that,” she said softly.

  I couldn’t help but smile in response, understanding her predicament entirely. “Just giving you something to look forward to for later. A little incentive to get back to your house before your mom does.”

  “Consider me inspired,” she said, peering up at me through her lashes. Lacing her fingers with mine, she turned toward the store again, “Just two more stops.”

  But we didn’t make it very far. As we approached the entrance, Matt and a girl I vaguely remembered from Hailey’s high school were exiting the store. Ethan was only a few steps behind them, he looked both shocked and disgusted to see me. Instantly, my blood boiled beneath my skin. I didn’t want Matt anywhere remotely close to Hailey, or Ethan for that matter.

  “Hailey!” the tall blonde exclaimed, immediately wrapping her arms around her neck in an enthusiastic hug. “I can’t believe it’s you!”

  “Katie!” Hailey tried to match her excitement, but the tension in her voice was undeniable as she eyed Matt over the girl’s shoulder. “It’s so good to see you,” she said as they withdrew their hold on one another. Without hesitation, Hailey stepped closer to me, clasping her hand in mine again.

  Ethan sneered. I fought the urge to stare him down, trying to maintain my focus on the ones who were visible.

  “You too!” Katie said, shifting her gaze to me.

  “Katie, this is my boyfriend, Jonah. Jonah, this is Katie, a high school friend,” she explained. “Of course, you already know Matt.”