All I Want for Christmas

by Jenny Hale

  He was right. Both she and her mother had gotten those traits from Nan.

  “Did you know her well?” David asked, as Leah took in this man she’d never seen before.

  He smiled at whatever the memory was he had of her and then, with a dignified sniffle, he said simply, “I did.” That smile remained there on his face. “I was glad she asked me to come. I live alone, and I’ve been struggling with that somewhat. Her letter came just when I needed it.”

  “Hello,” Sadie said, coming into the room.

  “Where are Ethan and Jo?” Leah asked.

  “They’re still doing the puzzle. We’re almost done! I heard the doorbell and thought it was Gran and Gramps.”

  Samuel’s eyes were moving from Leah to Sadie and it was clear that he’d found the resemblance. “And what’s your name?” Samuel asked, a gentle smile on his face as he said it.

  “Sadie.”

  “Sadie?” His face dropped as if she’d said something wrong, something that took him back in time. He recovered and smiled, but as he studied her, she could see a look of awe come over him. Then, he turned to Leah. “She’s your daughter?”

  “Yes.” Suddenly, she wondered about Sadie’s name. When she was pregnant, and she’d found out it was a girl, she’d gone straight to Nan. Nan had a pink cake waiting for her when she arrived, and even though Leah was single, struggling to handle an unplanned pregnancy, Nan had turned it into a celebration.

  “What will you name this little princess?” Nan had asked.

  “I have no idea,” she’d said, honestly. She was still so bewildered by everything. She hadn’t thought anything through yet. “Help me think of a name,” she said.

  Now, reflecting on it, Nan had been emotional at that moment, and Leah had just thought that she was excited about having a great-grandchild. When she’d told the story later, Leah had always said how funny it was that the first name Nan had said was The Name.

  With tears in her eyes, Nan had looked up at Leah and said, “I have the perfect name. You should call her Sadie Marie.”

  Marie was Nan’s middle name and Leah’s mother’s name, and she loved the idea of Sadie. Leah had thrown her arms around Nan’s neck and they’d cried together, with relief, Leah had thought, that things were going to be okay. But now she wondered, after seeing Samuel’s face, if Nan had been crying over something else.

  Clearly still trying to get himself together, Samuel patted his pocket and said, “Her letter suggested I come this weekend, telling me that there was someone I should meet. Originally, I’d thought about ignoring it because it wouldn’t bring Nina back, but if she wanted me to meet you, then I supposed I should. And now I see.”

  “I’ll get us all some wine,” David said, standing up. June followed him into the kitchen, clearly giving Leah some time to talk to this man that Nan had known so well. Sadie had gone back into the kitchen to do her puzzle, the conversation obviously not keeping her attention.

  “Is there some connection between you and the name Sadie?” She had to know.

  Immediately, his breathing became slow and steady, as if he were working to make it so. But he didn’t say anything.

  “It’s my daughter’s name,” pressed Leah. “I’d like to know if there was some sort of family connection.”

  He shook his head, almost as if he were telling himself that he couldn’t say it out loud.

  “I’ve read your letters,” she admitted. “Please, tell me.”

  He looked up. “She kept them?” But he didn’t say anything more, as though he couldn’t verbalize the enormity of his thoughts. By his reaction, there was a connection, and he was having some kind of inner struggle about telling her. Perhaps she shouldn’t have asked.

  Finally, he spoke. “That was the name that Nina and I had picked out for our daughter.”

  Leah stared at him, the words hitting her like a wrecking ball. She realized after a second that she needed to breathe. “You had a daughter? Where is she?”

  Samuel clenched his jaw tightly, clearly trying to push back the emotion. “For about three months we had a daughter growing in Nina’s belly. Well, she thought it was a daughter. Nina had said she knew by the way she felt, but I never asked her to tell me what she meant. We lost her.”

  “Oh my God,” Leah said, clapping her hand over her mouth. “Why didn’t she ever tell me this?”

  Still clearly deep in his memories, Samuel’s eyes were on the floor, as if searching for something, but she knew he was probably processing as much as she was at that moment. “Your grandmother dealt with a lot in her time. But she was proud, and she never let on that there were any breaks in her perfect life. She was a strong woman.”

  “I know she worked with you at a college,” Leah said.

  “Ah,” Samuel said, throwing his head back, a melancholy smile on his face. “That was the beginning of everything.”

  “Would you tell me your story?” she asked boldly. If Nan hadn’t been able to share it with her, then perhaps Samuel could.

  “Maybe you could come visit me one day and I’ll tell you everything. It would be nice to have somebody else in the house. I don’t want to take too much of your time. I should probably be heading on.”

  “Why don’t you stay this evening? There’s plenty of room here if you need to stay.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose. I was just following Nina’s letter.”

  “Well, if she sent you that letter, then I’ll bet she wanted you here, and she’d be quite upset with me for not offering.”

  He smiled at that. “Yes, she probably would,” he said with a chuckle. “I don’t know…”

  “It’s snowing again, for goodness’ sake.” She pointed to the flurries out the window. “Once the sun dips down, it’ll all be ice. It’s probably already dangerous out there. I won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Well, if it isn’t any trouble. I was going to get a hotel room in town.”

  “Nonsense,” she said with a smile.

  “She wanted me to give you this.” Samuel stood up, put his hand into his pocket and drew out an envelope. Leah immediately recognized the handwriting as Nan’s, and her name was on the outside. “She said you can’t open it until family Christmas.”

  Chapter 20

  “It’ll be Samuel and Mom,” David said, “Roz and Louise, and I’ll be with Leah. Leah’s made the punch, but we also have beer. Who’s up for a drink?”

  “I put together a veggie tray too,” Leah said, getting excited. “I’ll get it out and bring in the game. I hope it’s still in the hall closet.”

  When Samuel arrived, it felt like Nan was right there, introducing everyone, and this unlikely group of people, from all over the place, had settled in like old friends. It had gotten late, the kids tucked in for sleep, and the snow coming down in the darkness outside. The candles were lit, the fire going, and the Christmas lights shimmering everywhere.

  They all piled into the sitting room and Leah, glad to have found the game, brought it in, David helping with the veggie tray. They set it all on the coffee table in front of the settee.

  Once they were settled, Roz said, “I think we should let Leah and David go first.” She had a flirty look in her eyes, and a smile behind her bottle of beer as she put it to her lips, and Leah knew she was trying to play matchmaker again.

  Leah took a giant swig of her own beer and then drew a card.

  “Okay, David. Ready?” She turned over the sand timer and read the card to herself: Flying around the world.

  “I’ll hold the card,” said Roz. “I want to see what it is.”

  Leah handed Roz the card and began making airplane arms, tipping back and forth to simulate flying while Roz showed Louise the phrase and then handed it to Samuel.

  “Fly,” David said, his brows puckering in an adorable way.

  Leah nodded. “Does that count?” she asked Samuel.

  “Yes. The word is ‘flying,’ David,” Samuel confirmed.

  Leah drew a cir
cle in the air with her pointer finger.

  “Propeller,” David said.

  She balled her fingers and used her other hand to orbit her fist.

  “Flying…” David said while he thought it through, but he seemed distracted as he looked at her, as if he were thinking about something else.

  “Time!” Samuel said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “It was ‘Flying around the world.’”

  Roz stood up and grabbed a card, and just like that, David turned his attention away, leaving Leah wondering what he’d been thinking.

  “Easy!” Roz said, handing it to June to moderate. “Okay, Louise. You’ve got this.” She turned over the timer. With her fingers, she drew an hourglass shape and then gestured drinking.

  “Wine.”

  “Yes!” She held out her hand and pretended it was a plate, picking up little invisible pieces of something and putting them in her mouth.

  “Wine… Wine with… Wine and… Cheese? Wine and cheese?”

  Roz did a fist pump in the air. “You got it! High five!” She smacked Louise’s hand and sat down beside her, grinning from ear to ear.

  David pulled the next card and handed it to Samuel, who thought for a moment and then turned over the timer. “Ready, June?”

  She smiled and nodded.

  They continued on, the game tied three ways, and the longer they played, the more Leah second-guessed her choice. They were all there, together, just like Nan would’ve wanted. It was wonderful, but Leah felt as lost as ever. She knew in her heart that Nan, always the lover of family, wouldn’t have understood how Leah giving David half the house would ever lead to a life of no regrets. Right now, in this place, with these people—this was how it should be, and it was about to end. Leah sighed and regrouped. Her family was arriving soon, and she needed to focus on making this the best Christmas she could.

  Chapter 21

  David had been up early again. He was dressed in a sweater and jeans, showered, and now in the chair, reading by the fire in the sitting room as if he’d been there all along, but Leah had heard the front door opening and shutting at an early hour, and his nose was still red.

  “Good morning,” she said, trying to hide her curiosity.

  “Good morning. Is anyone else up yet?” He grinned at her as if he were holding in a secret, following her with his eyes as she moved across the room.

  “Louise and Roz are up, and the kids. They’re all bustling around upstairs.” She sat down in the chair beside him. Did she smell sausage?

  “I made a quick casserole since we have so many people. It’s eggs, sausage, cheese, and pastry. It should be done in just a few minutes.”

  “That sounds great,” she said, eyeing him. Finally, unable to take the suspense any longer, she said, “What were you up to this morning?”

  He offered a crooked grin. “I have something planned for us.”

  She sat up straighter in her chair. “Really? What is it?”

  “I’ll tell you when everyone gets downstairs.”

  * * *

  They’d had an informal breakfast, each person grabbing a bite to eat whenever it was a good time, and they’d relaxed the whole morning. The kids had played upstairs and the adults had alternated between Christmas TV programs and small talk.

  David had told them all they’d be leaving around twelve forty-five, and they’d all been waiting for this surprise of his. Once they’d had a light lunch and were all gathered in the sitting room, standing around, waiting to see what David had planned, he came in, handing out coats.

  “Grab your hats, gloves, and boots! We’re taking the farm truck across the property to the main road where I’ve rented a shuttle to pick us up.”

  “We can’t all fit in the farm truck,” Leah worried aloud. The large bench seat only held four adults and then there were two smaller seats behind.

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ve thought of that.”

  Sadie and Jo were looking at each other, shrugging their shoulders, while Roz offered a glance to Leah, her eyebrows raised, a smile on her face. Louise had her long coat on, her hands in the pockets, her attention on David, and Ethan at her side. Leah turned to June and Samuel for any further explanation but June raised her shoulders as if to say, “I have no idea.”

  David led the group to the front door and opened it. Leah, who had been walking beside him, was the first to peer out. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. The back of the farm truck was full of rectangular hay bales to make seats. There was a speaker in the back, next to the cab of the truck, playing Christmas carols. Both sides of the vehicle were draped in fresh greenery and tied with large red bows at either end. He’d even put a wreath on the grill at the front and a small stepladder against the tailgate.

  “What is this?” she asked, turning to him, still unable to stop smiling.

  “They’re having carolers in town. I figured we could all take a walk and watch them, maybe stop in the coffee shop to warm up.”

  “Somebody’s a keeeeeper,” she heard Roz say quietly under her breath behind them. Discreetly, Leah batted her away with her hand by her side. She heard Louise giggle.

  “The kids can sit up front with me, and I’ll drive very slowly down the drive so it won’t get too cold,” he said to the group. “The shuttle should pick us up right at the main road.”

  “This sounds lovely,” June said, giving David a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at her.

  “Okay! Everybody in! Kids, would you like to take turns driving?” David asked. The three children cheered.“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said with a laugh, shutting the front door after everyone had come out.

  They all piled in, but before Leah got up into the back, she pulled out her phone and snapped a photo for the book David had bought her. David set the stepladder behind the front bench and got into the driver’s seat. He pulled out very slowly, the tires making shushing sounds in the snow. They bumped along down the tree-lined path to the main road, the Christmas music playing happily, and the group chattering. But Leah was quiet as she watched Sadie take her turn driving the truck through the back window of the cab. While David sat in the driver’s seat, Ethan had climbed off his lap and Sadie had climbed into position. David put his hands by his sides, hitting the gas with his foot while Sadie held the wheel with both of her little hands. She kept looking back at him and laughing.

  When they arrived at the end of the drive, a small shuttle, white with rental options and a phone number painted in orange on its side, was waiting to pick them up. The driver opened the door and waved as David helped Samuel out of the farm truck, down the stepladder, and onto the ground. They all filed in to the shuttle and the warmth felt like fire against her face.

  Leah sat down in the bucket seat beside David; the others had paired up on their own, and the three kids were all sharing a small bench at the back, giggling. With a quick look in the rearview mirror at everyone, the driver shut the door and pulled onto the road.

  “When did you plan this?” she asked. June, who was sitting across the aisle from them, was looking on, grinning at her son.

  “Last night, after we all went up to bed, I checked to see if there were any events in town—you know, just something small. I found the carolers’ performance. I thought it might be fun so I booked the shuttle online. There’s the park in town too—they’ve filled it with lights and we can walk through it. I’ll bet with the cloud cover and all the trees, the lights will still be quite beautiful in daytime.”

  Leah nodded, the excitement of it all settling in her chest. She glanced over at June, but she was still looking at David, her face gentle, as if something had just occurred to her. She caught Leah’s look and offered a warm smile, her gaze darting back and forth between Leah and David.

  * * *

  The driver pulled over in front of the town hall, one of the prettiest buildings on Main Street, and let everyone off. The building was white, with four columns stretching two stories high, and an enormous lantern-style lig
ht hanging by large chains to illuminate the platform in front of the double front doors. A group of about twenty people were assembled on the platform. They were wearing black trousers and red sweaters, some of them with Santa hats on. They stood in perfect rows on risers up there, the white, marble steps of the town hall cascading down to the sidewalk in front of them.

  The people on the ends of the group began to ring hand bells and passers-by started to take notice, stopping to see what was going on. Leah snapped a picture and slid her phone into her coat pocket. The group started to sing “Carol of the Bells” and their voices echoing off the surroundings and sailing into the street sounded like angels, making Leah’s arms prickle with emotion. She rubbed them to diffuse the sensation, but it only got worse when David, standing behind her, put his hands on her arms and rubbed them for her.

  She looked over at Sadie, who was transfixed on the group, her breath billowing out in front of her and her cheeks pink as she tipped her head up to watch. Jo and Ethan were doing the same thing right beside her.

  She took a minute to look at Roz and Louise; they were alternating between quiet conversations and watching the carolers, and she wondered what they were talking about. June was smiling as she watched, tapping her foot. And Samuel was blowing into his hands and rubbing them together, but he looked content. She didn’t know what came over her, but she reached back and found David’s hands and held them, their fingers intertwining. It was almost as if she needed to hold on to someone, the perfection of the moment hitting her. She felt the caress of his thumb and she had to remind herself to breathe.

  After a few more songs, the kids were starting to get antsy, so David suggested they take a walk to the coffee shop. Ethan hung back and walked with Louise but June had taken Sadie and Jo by the hand and the three of them were walking together, Sadie talking to June, laughing at something June had said.

  When they got to the coffee shop, David let everyone in. With all nine of them, they nearly filled the small dining area.