My Other Half

by S Michelle

  “Lick,” I demanded, and he licked my hand without breaking eye contact.

  “Spit.” He did, and I reached down, grabbed both our dicks in one hand, and stroked.

  I was already on the edge, and Gabe offered a strained groan that bordered on pain.

  I stroked us, our cocks coated in precome, gliding through my fist. My rhythm stuttered as his breaths became uneven.

  “Come for me, G. I fucking need it. Give me your cum,” I ordered.

  And his eyes screwed shut as his dick pulsed against mine, enough to send me over the edge with him.

  * * *

  My hand and his stomach and chest were covered with our cum. I gently lifted my hand and wiped one finger over his lips. “Taste us,” I commanded softly.

  He did as I told him, licking his lips slowly and savouring the taste, his eyes glazed.

  “Now don’t ever forget how good we are together. Ever again.” I slumped to the side, and we lay together for the longest time. We didn’t speak, and I didn’t let go of his right hand, still scared he would run if I let go.

  After a while, he squirmed, and I realised he must be getting uncomfortable with our cum drying all over him. I lifted myself up. When he went to argue, I glared at him and told him to lay still. Thankfully, he did as he was told, and I used one crutch to hop to the bathroom and cleaned up. I tucked myself away and pulled off my shirt, which hadn’t manage to avoid the mess. I warmed a clean cloth, grabbed a hand towel, and hopped awkwardly back to the bed, wincing.

  “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

  I cleaned him gently, taking my time and soothing him as I wiped and dried him, before I answered. “I hurt my knee a little, but I am better than I have been in a really long time, G.”

  I watched him and wiped at the tears that fell, smiling softly, hoping he understood all the things I didn’t know how to say.

  I lay on my back next to him, and he curled around me, clinging as tightly as he could. I wrapped my arm around him and held on tight.

  * * *

  We roused hours later, and I watched him stretch before opening his eyes. I could see the moment he remembered and he froze. Before the terror had time to take hold, I reached for his cheek. “Look at me, G.” He looked everywhere but at me for moment until he realised I wasn’t letting go or looking away until he did as he was told. “Don’t ever hide any part of yourself from me ever again. Do you understand me?” He nodded, but weakly.

  “I mean it. It broke me, and it nearly fucking killed you. I wouldn’t survive that again. I don’t know when things changed or if they were always like this, and I don’t have any idea yet how we make this work, but you are mine. I want everything you yelled at me when you were trying to scare me earlier. I want all of that with you. Just you, G.”

  He closed his eyes, and I thought he was going to pull away, but he leaned even closer and whispered, “I have wanted you for so long, but I thought you would hate me. Be disgusted by me. Are you sure you… I mean… Just because I…” He couldn’t finish, and he didn’t need to.

  “I’m sure because I am in love with you too, my angel, my heart.” I kissed his forehead and smiled. “And because watching you on that webcam made me come harder than I have ever come before.”

  His head whipped up, and he frowned for a minute, obviously running through his memory.

  “You mean it didn’t turn you off? Because you still watched porn and jerked to it?”

  I laughed out loud. “No, I mean your show was the porn. The other tabs were from ages ago. Watching you and copying you was the hottest thing I have ever done in my life. I had cum stuck to my eyebrow, for God’s sake.” He snorted, and I smiled. We held each other for a few more minutes before his stomach growled.

  “C’mon, let’s feed you. Did you have lunch?” He shook his head and looked around for a clean shirt. “Hey.”

  He turned towards me but didn’t quite meet my eyes. “When I saw you through the window kissing Scott, I kind of lost my appetite.”

  “G, I kissed him on the forehead in sympathy. Nothing more. Let me make you some food, and I will catch you up on why we are going to fucking kill Zander if he ever shows back up in Perisher.”

  * * *

  After we ate and I told him about Zander, we went to move to the lounge. But we both weren’t sure where to sit. “I don’t want this to get weird. But this is something huge. Obviously, when the others are here, we need to be careful, but I don’t want you second-guessing when we’re alone. Before we go home, we need to talk, but can we enjoy each other until then?”

  Gabe nodded, but then asked, “So this is only for while we are here? Just one more week?”

  I sat down and put my leg up, then pulled at his hand to indicate I wanted him on my lap. He climbed on, gentle with my leg as he straddled my hips. I pulled him close. “No, Gabe, that’s not what I’m saying. I want you forever. But we need to work out if that is something we can do. If that is what we choose, it will cost us both a lot. Don’t misunderstand. I think the cost is more than worth it. But we still need to acknowledge this is not something other people are going to accept. We can’t do couple things in public. We can’t be introduced to work friends as each other’s boyfriends. We can’t ever share this with Mum and Dad. We can’t ever have kids.”

  A second before he moved, I knew I had gone too far, so I wrapped my arms around him so he couldn’t run.

  “I can’t do that to you. I can’t take all those things away from you. Even if you did want this, I couldn’t take everything away from you.” He sounded miserable.

  “If?” I asked sternly. “You know me. I know you are scared, and that’s okay, but please don’t doubt how I feel. You know me, Gabe.”

  He nodded, and I relaxed my arms.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to paint this all as negative. I’m simply saying there are a lot of things that we both need to think about and talk about. But I’m not sure we can this week with everyone else here too. Having said that, I want to enjoy you. I have missed touching you, and even if I hadn’t realised this is what I missed before, I know now, and I want it so fucking much. I want all of it. But we need to take this at whatever pace we are both happy with. Do you think we could just press pause on the serious stuff for one week?”

  He nodded and smiled at me this time. And so we did enjoy each other again.

  * * *

  Seeing Mum and Dad was great, but I was really ready when they left on Sunday night. Mum pulled me in tight when she was saying goodbye. “You and Gabe have talked?” she asked quietly into my ear.

  “Yeah. I think we are going to be okay.”

  6

  I insisted Gabe go riding instead of babysitting me, so each day he went with Sam and Dean in the morning, and each day he found an excuse to come home early so we could have a couple of hours to ourselves. Monday was awkward as hell. Promising to pause the serious stuff and have fun was easier said than done, and we ended up curling together on the lounge and laying there. Tuesday wasn’t much better. We fumbled around and kissed a little, with Gabe asking every five minutes if I was okay and if this was okay.

  * * *

  Wednesday, I decided to change things up. When Gabe texted to say he was on his way, I showered. Extremely thoroughly. I watched a video—okay, I watched a video of Gabe. I got out some butterscotch Schnapps. I may have had one or two drinks for courage.

  * * *

  I left a note on the front door telling Gabe to go have a shower, then meet me in the lounge. And be quick. I heard him come in and walk down the hall. He mustn’t have taken his boots off because I heard a bang and a curse.

  * * *

  When he walked into the lounge, he had track pants on and an old long sleeve shirt, snug and soft to touch. As soon as he saw me, he froze. I was sitting in one of the large leather seats opposite an identical seat, with the coffee table in between and the fire warming the room and lighting the chairs with a soft orange glow. I was completely nake
d, leaning back in the seat and slowly stroking my cock. I smiled and nodded towards the schnapps, then looked pointedly down at my hand. “Best you hurry and catch up.”

  He blinked two more times before grabbing his shirt and ripping it off, followed by shoving his pants down so fast he nearly fell over.

  I laughed out loud but stifled it when he glared at me. “Sit down, G. We are playing a game. Have a drink or two while I explain the rules.” I paused while we had a drink and started talking as he poured a second one. “It’s quite a simple game, really. I watched another one of your videos today. God, they are hot, G.”

  He looked nervous for a moment.

  “Please don’t worry about them. I have no problem. Believe me. No problem at all. I would love it if you made one just for me. The one I watched today was the one with the pink dildo. But I digress.”

  I smiled shyly. “It made me remember the one last week. I copied each thing you did. Watching you was fucking hot, my angel. So I want to do that again today. Basically, I will copy whatever you do. Once we start, there will be no talking unless you want to stop. If you want me to do something, just do it, and I will follow. Do you understand?”

  Gabe was watching me, but I wasn’t sure if he heard a word. Even though he was still stroking himself, my hand stopped still, waiting for him to respond.

  He looked up and nodded frantically. “Fuck yes, I understand. I get to watch you.”

  I smiled at his enthusiasm. He took a deep breath and settled back in the seat. His strokes were still leisurely, but his eyes were intently watching every movement. When his left hand slowly trailed up his abs and chest to play with his nipple, my right hand copied as if in a mirror. When that hand trailed back down to cup his balls, mine followed. I tried to concentrate on my breathing. I had been worked up since watching his video and thinking of this game.

  As his hand started to fondle and pull on his balls, I followed. I didn’t even realise the moan was coming from me until his hands stilled and his eyes lifted to me. He looked frantically around him for a second, and I knew what for.

  “Down the side of the cushion, your left side,” I muttered, directing him to the small lube bottle I put there earlier.

  He poured lube onto his fingertips and wiggled his bottom forward a little, letting his knees drop to the sides. His fingers massaged the edge of that sweet pucker, and I was struggling to keep my breathing under control. I was sweating, my breathing ragged. I needed to slow down before I lost control, but I couldn’t, not without him. I must have made a sound of some sort because I felt him glance at me.

  He squeezed the base of his dick, and his other hand stopped moving. Thank God. I needed a second, just a moment so I didn’t lose it. He smiled slowly, reached for a little more lube, and looked me straight in the eye, keeping me locked in place for a long moment.

  I only realised I had been holding my breath when he broke his gaze and lowered his eyes to watch me again. His hand on his dick stayed still while his lubed fingers teased his hole. Fuck, I was so tempted to end this game. I needed to touch him, I needed to be inside him so much I could barely force myself to sit still.

  I barely heard the whisper above my breathing and my heart trying to beat its way straight through my ribs.

  “T,” he whispered a second time. I frowned at him, not understanding what he was doing. “I know you said no talking, but I need to know before I keep going. Are you okay with penetration? We never said—I mean, I don’t know what you like.”

  “Yes, good, okay, I mean, yes, yes, please, fuck.”

  He chuckled, and one finger pushed in as far as it could go, no easing it in, no teasing. Fuck. I followed him, biting on my cheek to distract myself for a second. I just needed a min—fuck, he pulled his finger out. Before I had time to follow, he pushed two fingers in. He was moaning and almost begging. Or maybe that was me; I don’t know.

  Right when I couldn’t bite my cheek hard enough to hold back, his left hand pumped his dick hard, two times, three, and he was shooting across his stomach, the muscles clenched as his orgasm continued to roll through him. He continued to shoot across his chest, and the sounds he made went straight to my chest as my orgasm hit me like a tsunami. I tried to keep my eyes open so I could watch him as wave after wave ran through me.

  As I sat there coming down off the hottest but most draining orgasm ever, my eyes stayed locked with Gabe. We were both content to sit and watch each other.

  I was almost happy to drift off to sleep with a feeling of absolute relaxation, but Gabe shifted in his seat, breaking the spell. “We need to have a shower before I go get Sam and Dean.”

  I nodded but didn’t move until he stood and looked at me for a moment before stepping around the coffee table and reaching out a hand for me.

  I hesitated for a second, looking at my hands: my right still coated in lube and my left with cum on my fingers. He chuckled and grabbed my left hand anyway. In the bathroom, I leaned against the sink while Gabe got the water hot. He lowered himself to one knee and removed my knee brace. Then he pulled me gently into the shower and practically held me up as I stood under the spray. Grabbing the body wash, he gently cleaned me. Slowly, softly, thoroughly. Strangely, it felt more intimate than what we had done in the lounge room.

  I went to take the body wash, but he shook his head and gave himself a quick scrub before taking me back in his arms. He nuzzled my neck as I sighed peacefully. “You are the most amazing man in the world,” he murmured.

  “God, G, I…” I was struggling to find the words I needed, but he must have known.

  “Nothing serious, remember?” he reminded me.

  * * *

  Friday morning was busy, which was great because I didn’t have time to dwell on what the end of our time in Jindabyne meant. We had agreed we would pack and all head to Perisher, where I would spend the morning up at the cafe halfway up the quad chairlift (with a lot of assistance from Gabe and Dean getting to the lift), catching up with a couple of family friends who were here this week, while the boys snowboarded until lunch. None of us wanted to sit in the gridlock later in the day, so we were going to head off early.

  Even from a distance, I could pick Gabe out making his way down the hill. He was so beautiful. Graceful yet strong. I wished I could promise him everything would be okay. I wished I could know what was going to happen. I tried to let it go, promising myself we would find a way.

  * * *

  The drive home was long. Even early afternoon, there was a lot of traffic from Jindabyne, through Cooma, and up to Canberra. Dean and I shook our heads at a driver who had managed to run a Porsche four wheel drive off the road. We had driven the four hours to Goulbourn before Dean couldn’t hold back the questions anymore.

  “So did you and Gabe sort everything out? Did he tell you what the hell happened? Are you guys cool?”

  I bit my lip, considering how to answer. “We talked a little. Not everything, but I think we are cool, yeah.” I smiled, remembering how good last night felt, trying to stay as quiet as possible while giving each other hand jobs, turning the movie on my laptop up to cover any sounds. “Yeah, I think we are cool.”

  7

  I only saw Gabe once the whole next week, as I had to try to find work after losing my job as a bartender at the club during the couple of weeks after Gabe’s overdose. Sam had contacted the club with Gabe’s medical certificate. I hadn’t been so professional. After several texts back and forth, I convinced Gabe to keep his job there while I looked elsewhere. Regardless of what we decided to do about us, we both needed to take steps to move forward individually. I asked around and found a position possibly going at Grind On Me, the coffee shop near the university we went to a lot, and finished up all my enrolment paperwork for the coming semester.

  I called Gabe a couple of times to try and organise a time to talk, but we ended up playing phone tag. I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t intentional, as he returned my calls when he knew I would be out or unable to answer.


  I finally got him to myself the following Sunday. He agreed to come to my place because Dean was working and we could have some privacy for this conversation. I was finishing some laundry when he knocked. I shouldn’t have been nervous talking to my brother.

  After a kind of awkward hello, we headed into the lounge room, and I offered him a drink. Looking as nervous as I was, he agreed to a beer, and I grabbed two from the fridge.

  As I headed back into the lounge room, Gabe leaned over, taking his shoes off and leaving them by the entrance hallway. God, his arse looked good in those jeans. I obviously didn’t lift my eyes quickly enough when he turned because when I did, he had a smirk on his face.

  He didn’t say anything, just walked slowly towards me, then stopped about two metres away.

  I swallowed loudly. The air in the room had thickened. The temperature had risen, and my heartbeat was pounding in my skull.

  I was still holding the beers, unable to move, as he slowly lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. He took one step towards me, then tossed both socks in the general direction of his shirt before taking one more step. Next, he flicked the button on his jeans and unzipped them but left them on his hips before taking one last step. He reached over and took the bottles out of my hand and placed them on the coffee table.

  I searched his eyes for a moment before I ordered, “Get on your knees.” Before I even realised he had moved, he sank to the floor. He didn’t touch me, but sat back on his heels, waiting for me, watching me. I gently stroked my finger down his cheek before pulling my hand back. The tender moment over, I shoved my jeans and underwear down below my hips.

  “Suck my dick.”

  My command was harsh. My dick was achingly hard from simply seeing him on his knees. He opened his mouth and licked at the bead of moisture at the tip, moaning as it hit his tongue.