Sprig of Thyme

by Jenna Dawlish

  “Things got progressively worse and quickly too. If I broke a rule then he would lock me in my room. If one of my brothers broke a rule then he would lock me in my room as punishment for not keeping them under control. If I argued then he responded that I must learn to control them so that when they were adults they would not disgrace the family name.”

  Joel shifted in his chair a little then continued, “My father believed that the family name was all and everything. More so than ever. I was not sure why he was so fervent about this issue, he was not like this before. At least not to this extent. When I questioned my mother about it, she simply shrugged and said that I should do as my father wished because he was the head of the family. My mother was and still is, compliant to my father and never disobeys him.

  “Luckily, my brothers and I were close and they would rarely misbehave or disobey father. Though it was difficult for them at times, they would get carried away or fight as any children do. But my punishments were few and far between.”

  Leonard interrupted, “Your brothers were very good to you then?”

  “Yes, but I have to confess, if they misbehaved while I got locked away, they got no dinner, so they had their own reasons to stay out of trouble.”

  Leonard gave small low chuckle, but checked it quickly. This was no laughing matter.

  Joel continued, “When I was twenty years old, my father took me to London. I thought the purpose was to show me the city and extend my education, but this was not so. After we arrived at our lodgings he told me that the sole aim of the trip was to find a suitable lady whom I would marry. I did not know of it before, but he was eyeing London society for some years with this aim. He lectured me on my responsibility to continue the family line once more, something which I found strange,”

  “Yes!” Leonard cried, “After all you have three brothers. Surely the odds of the family line continuing were excellent.”

  “Exactly. We spent many months in London and attended a myriad of social events. I was not very happy for most of the time. It was all awkward for me. One night after dinner father spoke to me and said that he had found my future wife. He had spoken to her father, she came from a long respected family and most importantly had a fortune of Thirty Thousand pounds. It was of course Cynthia.

  “I objected immediately,” he said rubbing his forehead with his fist. “I remembered Cynthia, she was insipid and sickly, always complaining about everything. Although I thought she was pretty, she was certainly not someone I wished to marry. Despite my objections, my father would not take no for an answer, and ignored my refusal.”

  “The next day, he took me to see Cynthia and her father, though I did not know their house was our destination until we arrived. I was shocked, words cannot – they cannot begin to describe. . .” His voice trailed off. Finally after a few moments he seemed to rally himself and continued. “There was the Rector, ready to set a date for the wedding and for the banns to be read. I was incredulous, and feigned illness and ran out of the house back to our lodgings.”

  “What happened next?” Leonard asked.

  “My father came back half an hour behind me and he seemed more understanding. He said that we could return to Bedfordshire in order for me to think about the marriage. I readily agreed and we returned home.”

  “Did you not think it a little strange that he suddenly decided to let you think it over?” Leonard asked.

  “No, stupidly I did not. And things were to get far worse for me. The morning after we arrived back, I awoke and dressed and was about to go downstairs for breakfast, when I tried my bedroom door. It was locked. I rang the bell for a servant, and after a short while my father came and stood outside. He told me that I was to be kept in my room until I agreed to marry Cynthia.

  “Of course I refused and demanded to be let out.”

  “Of course! What a dastardly thing to do. Could you not escape some way, through the window?” Leonard asked.

  “It appeared that my father anticipated my refusal. While we were away, he had metal bars placed over my bedroom window.”

  “Never!” Leonard sat forward suddenly.

  Joel nodded. “I can hardly speak of the next two months, it pains me too much. You must allow me to skirt over it. But to put it plainly, he imprisoned me. To be confined for a long period of time was dreadful, but for two months he kept me there with only the basic food and water. Every day he would ask me if I would submit, but I would not give in.”

  Joel stood up, walked to the window and opened it a little. He stared out of it for a moment.

  Leonard's eyes followed Joel. “Two months you say? That is awful. Did you not barge your way out when they gave you food and water?”

  “The food was hoisted up to me through the window.”

  Leonard sat with his mouth wide open, then said, “But you got out somehow?”

  “Yes. It was Frederick's doing that I got out in the end. I learnt afterwards that he tried many ways get me released, pleaded with my father, and my mother, what use that would have been, she was totally under his power. He went to the authorities to release me. But it was no use. They would not interfere. I was still not of age. I was still classed as a child, and my father could choose to punish me any way he chose. My release finally came on 24th February -my 21st birthday. I was officially an adult. Frederick arranged for the authorities to come and release me, but my father unlocked the door by the time they arrived.”

  “He did not put up any resistance to you leaving?” Leonard asked.

  “No. In fact, he was very devious. He said that he kept me in my room because I had become mentally unstable and violent. He told them that they should not interfere, but he had no option other than to allow them to take me. They did not believe him for a minute.”

  “What happened next?” Leonard asked.

  “Frederick took me away immediately. I was disorientated and weak by then, but he took me far away to Scotland. There I remained for a few months and recovered, until he informed me that my father had discovered where we were. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I left the house early in the morning, took with me money and clothes. I travelled to Glasgow and I found a cheap hotel. I left Frederick and my father a note stating that I would never marry Cynthia and I did not tell Frederick where I was going. I did not want him in any way to be persuaded to reveal where I was. It was not that I did not trust Frederick, but I believed my father would find an evil way of getting the information from him. When he wanted something he would stop at nothing.

  “So, there I was in Glasgow, and I decided that I should to make a living for myself. My father would surely disinherit me, so I could see no other option. A few days before I remembered seeing an advertisement in the newspaper placed by an agency asking for tutors. I remember the advert exactly:

  “Male tutors required for teaching Gentlemen's sons. Locations throughout Great Britain. Only those with excellent character references need apply.”

  I wrote to them, using a false name and references, followed by a short interview in Glasgow, and was given a position of tutor for six months with a family in Sidmouth, Devon. I travelled there the next day.

  “So that is why you became a tutor,” Leonard said. “I am glad was not for any underhanded reason, though I thought it was.”

  “It was purely out of necessity, I assure you.” He paused for a moment, then continued. “When I arrived, I was greeted by Mr Waters. He seemed a kind man, if not somewhat austere. I was taken immediately to the schoolroom where I was introduced to. . .” he paused again, and swallowed hard, desperately trying to get the words out, “I was introduced to the governess.”

  Leonard noticed Joel's face had suddenly become anguished and serious.

  “Adella.” Leonard said in a whisper.

  “Yes. Adella.”

  Chapter 9

  Joel stood up and walked about the room for a few minutes. The only sound was the fire gently crackling. His mind burned with the memory of her. Leo
nard did not break him from his reverie by speaking and suspected now why he was in his present state of mind. It was the first time either of them had mentioned her name, but it seemed to intensify the meaning of their evening together. Adella. One woman's name, a name that bound them both.

  “I – I have not really allowed myself the luxury to think of her before now,” Joel said, clutching the back of his chair. “I never would have thought that I would be here with her brother. She told me much about you during those months we spent together, she was so proud of you.”

  Leonard dropped his gaze and stared into the fire. “Yes, she was always the best sister a man could have. I have not realised until recently.”

  “You can sing her praises all you like. Tell me of her good qualities and I shall not grow weary of it.” His voice was slow, full of passion. “Because I know her and for every good word you speak of her I can match it with a hundred more.”

  Leonard fixed his eyes on Joel's face, “You loved her then?”

  “Can you doubt it?”

  “Yes, after what Adella has told me. The manner in which you discarded her, of course I question it.”

  “Then, should I continue with my story?”

  “Please do.”

  He nodded, and poured more brandy for them both, then seated himself once more opposite Leonard. This time as he began to speak, the words took more effort to get out.

  “Mr Waters took me to the schoolroom and made the introduction. I will never forget how she immediately stepped forward and shook my hand with the most disarming smile I have ever seen. I was a little taken aback, I had not known such openness or warmth from a woman before, well apart from my mother.”

  “Did you love her from that first moment?”

  “No. No, but I did think her extremely pretty,” a wide smile spread on his face, “Her eyes, they are such a dark brown, I remember thinking that I could drown in them. I was too nervous to think much else. But she immediately put me at ease and after Mr Waters went, she guessed that I was hungry and ordered food. She chatted easily about the daily routine for the children and what was expected of me. I found it all a little amusing coming from a family and position like mine, but still I was nervous. Nervous because she truly believed that I was a tutor.”

  “You were tutored at home yourself, so you must have known what was expected of you as you took that place?” Leonard asked.

  “I knew exactly what to do. My father employed only the best and I witnessed my own tutors long enough to know how to behave. I was a little wary that I may give myself away through a thoughtless comment or such. Luckily, she did not ask probing questions, and when the food arrived left me to eat in peace.” He sighed deeply. “And that was the first time I met Adella.” He picked up a box of matches on the table next to him and began to examine it.

  “It is all similar to what she told me,” Leonard remarked.

  Joel looked up and raised his eyebrows “I will not ask you to tell me what she said, but as I said before, I'm sure it was the truth.”

  “She is honest I do grant you that. Tell me what happened next that day.”

  “After I finished eating, I wandered about the house and found the servants' quarters. A maid showed me to my room and I unpacked. It was a good size, bigger than I expected a tutor to be given. But I found it oppressive. It reminded me of those months of confinement. In the end, after a few hours I could bear it no longer. I had to get out. There were only a few places for a tutor to go, most of the house being out of bounds. I thought about going to the servants' quarters again, the kitchens or such, but I wandered up to the school room. There, seated quietly by the fire was Adella. I did not want to disturb her so I turned back, but she heard me, thinking I was the girl.

  “I think I made some excuse that I wished to check the books. Anyway I looked at them and then as I was about to leave, she invited me to sit with her. Her smile and voice were so warm and inviting, I defy any man to refuse her anything she asks.”

  “Like explaining why you denied her?” Leonard said sharply.

  The question took Joel off guard because he reddened, and attempted to speak. Leonard spoke before him. “I am sorry. The comment slipped out.”

  “No, you undoubtedly think me the worst hypocrite. And you are right.”

  “I will try and reserve my judgement of your behaviour until you have finished explaining fully. From what Adella told me, and from what you have already said, I think I can guess what happened when your father arrived. But please continue.”

  Joel closed his eyes briefly. Then as if drawing strength said, “She offered me tea and I thought it only polite that I accept. She did not seem to pay court to my anxiety and immediately put me at ease again. We sat talking for a short time until I thought I should be returning to my room. The calming effect she had on me did not make my return so frightening. It was as though her kindness wiped away any fear I felt about being alone in my room, like a tonic or something. Most of all, my heart was touched by her kindness. I vowed never to forget it. She didn't know me at all; didn't know who I really was, she thought me a lowly tutor. Yet she was genuinely interested in my welfare.

  “The first week went very quickly and I sought Adella's company whenever I could. I must admit, I did not fall in love with her immediately. It happened quickly, oh yes, so quickly that it took me by surprise. But it was a good few weeks before I realised my heart beat faster whenever she was near.”

  He continued on, his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, “Every night we would sit together in that schoolroom. I found her fascinating and I thought the whole situation interesting. Here was I, Joel Polwarth pretending to be a tutor, and sharing a small schoolroom with a woman!” He let out a small laugh. “The only women I knew were either servants (and father was strict in making sure that our behaviour to them was of the utmost of propriety), my mother and the so-called ladies who I met in London.”

  “There were none near your home in Bedfordshire? No Neighbours?”

  “No, not really. Well I suppose a few, but I never got to know them at all because my father did not think it necessary. They were not suitable matches for his sons.”

  “Adella spoke of those evenings you spent together with fondness.”

  Joel smiled, “We would read to each other, discuss a wide range of subjects. Adella was particularly interested in learning about geography and history and luckily through my own education I was able to tell her a great many facts she had previously been unaware of. I am afraid I also lied to her several times when she asked me questions about my background. I mixed the truth with falsehood. I could not tell her the absolute truth of course, so I changed certain minor details. I was after all, masquerading as Joseph West. Adella was barely out of girlhood, but she was earnest, astute, intelligent. She had not been given a wide education, I could tell, but she was not lacking in other ways. She listened to everything I said with the utmost care, something that never really happened to me before. My father never listened to me because he was always too busy telling me what to do, and as for my brothers, well with three of them to compete against I rarely got heard.”

  He paused briefly and took a long draw from his cigar, “One of the qualities I liked the most about Adella was that she always thought carefully about what she said before she spoke. But in the same way, she did not lack spontaneity. As her brother, I am sure you know all this.”

  Leonard nodded, “Truthfully, I have not analysed my sister's qualities, but what you have spoken appears to be an accurate picture of her.”

  “No, we do not tend to analyse those we are closest to. My comments come about after the event. But it does not make them any less correct.”

  Leonard smiled, “Adella said you spent much of your day together during those months as well as the evenings?”

  “Yes, at breakfast, lunch, dinner and then in the evening after the children were in bed, we would sit by the fire in the school room as I said before.”

  Leona
rd remembered something Adella told him, “Can you tell me, why were you so eager to see the sea? You expressed a wish to go early on in your appointment. . .”

  “Yes,” he said, “Yes, she remembered that did she? I was eager to visit the sea. You see, when I was locked up by my father, I would get through the lonely hours and seek solace from the oppressive walls by remembering when I was a child playing on a beach. I do not know where it was. Somewhere on the south coast, but anyway, I longed to see it. To see the wide open expanse of the water, to feel the cool breeze on my face.” He closed his eyes and for a brief moment, was once more on the sea front at Sidmouth.

  Then, he opened them, swallowed hard and suddenly said, “This was a turning point, slowly I got over what my father did to me. My thoughts were often with my family. I did wonder how my father was treating my brothers. I tried to think and plan ahead, to try and work out what to do when my six month appointment finished. I was not sure whether I should try and return home, or not.

  “I guessed that my father would probably have changed his Will and that I was now disinherited. But I did not seem to mind as much as I thought I would. I felt a strange release and freedom I never felt before. Not being shackled to duty, an estate, a family name and of course my father.

  “But all my plans would go awry, because, before long, I realised that the one thing I least expected while I was away had happened. I fell in love.”

  “When did you realise you loved her?”

  “I remember the exact moment I knew I loved her,” he said, “It was the first time I heard her sing. I had been at Brayfern for about four weeks, and just finished teaching the boy for the day. I heard piano music and singing coming from the school room. I thought it would be the young girl practising at first, but as I walked through to the school room I saw it was Adella playing and the girl who seemed to be enjoying it as much as I did. I stood in the doorway and listened and watched.” He smiled widely again, 'I knew her well by then, but there was something about the way she sang. She was singing a folk song; Sprig of Thyme, and now, whenever I hear that song, Adella is all I think of whether I wish to or not. Does she ever play that particular song at home?”