Moonlit

by Jadie Jones

  The ground beneath me begins to tremble. The sea churns violently as the ocean floor quakes, and the waves that crash ashore grow more powerful. All at once the wild surface charges forward and thousands of white horses race onto the beach like a tidal wave. They gallop in tight formation and make an impenetrable circle around Lucas and me. I hold my breath as the horses halt in perfect synchronization and turn to face us. They stand still and ready like a silent army.

  “They’ve been waiting for you. We all have,” Lucas says.

  “Why?” My eyes move to his scarred face.

  “It’s almost time.”

  “For what?”

  “You’ll have to make a choice.”

  “What kind of choice?”

  “It’s not for me to tell you,” he says, bringing his hand to my face. “Just be ready. Nothing comes without a cost.”

  “Will you be there?”

  “In my heart I’ve never left you. Keep this on you and I will always be able to find you.” Lucas slips a delicate, silver chain around my neck and wordlessly fastens the clasp.

  I bring my fingers to the pendant. It’s a simplistic horseshoe, more basic than any I’ve ever seen. Like it’s from another era.

  “I wasn’t sure it was really you. Never believed he could really do it,” Lucas says, staring at the necklace.

  “Do what?”

  “Bring you back.” The moment the words leave his lips, the horses dissolve into an ocean. “Be seeing you,” he whispers as we watch the white water flow back to the sea.

  9 Marked

  Where am I? It’s almost as dark with my eyes open as when they’re shut. I blink rapidly as I try to focus. Am I outside? The courtyard. I must have fallen asleep. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. Moving my hand makes it burn. The ring Vanessa gave me has already rubbed my finger raw. I slip it back off and drop it in my pocket.

  “Hey! What are you doing out here all by yourself?” Vanessa asks as she steps onto the courtyard lawn.

  “Ryan just left me. I think he got paged to the emergency room,” I lie. I want to keep that memory just for me for a little while longer. And what happened afterward. The thought makes me cringe.

  “That’s pretty. Did Ryan give you that?” she asks and reaches for something around my neck.

  “What?” I look down. The little horseshoe glimmers against my skin. A deep sense of calm washes over me even as my heart starts to hammer in a sudden panic.

  “No, Ryan didn’t give it to me,” I answer, dodging the truth. What is the truth? “I found it.”

  “It’s really pretty. I’ll check with the hospital to see if anyone’s reported it missing. Do you want me to put it in my purse so you don’t have to keep up with it?” she asks as she folds the sheet.

  I cover the pendant with my hand and press it into my skin. “I’ll just wear it. I really like it. I hope no one claims it, honestly,” I say, unable to keep the possessiveness out of my voice.

  “Well then, so do I. It suits you.” She pats the back of the wheelchair but I wave it off.

  “I’d rather walk. It feels really good to stretch my legs.”

  “But you’ll let me know if you get tired?”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  “I heard some news today that I think you’ll like,” she says as we walk into the main lobby.

  “What’s that?”

  “If your test results and vitals look good over the next forty-eight hours, they’re going to discharge you.” She grins sideways at me.

  “I like that news a lot.” But where am I going to go when I leave here? Maybe I’ll call Dana. I keep my worries to myself and give her an appreciative smile.

  “And I have even better news,” she adds. “When I took David his dinner he mentioned that Ryan is quite taken with you.”

  I’ve replayed our kiss a thousand times in my head. That part felt amazing. But what happened next . . . I still can’t make heads or tails of it.

  “We kissed. While you were gone. I thought it went well. But he left right afterwards. It was really weird.”

  “You did? Why didn’t you tell me? What do you mean he left? What happened?”

  “We admitted that we had feelings for each other, at least I think we did. But he kept talking about ‘complications.’ I don’t know. He was saying some weird things.”

  “Like what?”

  “That I had decisions to make. I’m telling you, he was really cryptic.”

  “Boys.” She rolls her eyes. “Don’t take it personally. None of them ever know how to talk about what they’re feeling.”

  “I don’t know why he ran off like that. He said he had to go and that he’d explain it later,” I say, deflating like a balloon.

  Vanessa lets me walk into my room ahead of her and then parks the wheelchair in the corner.

  “So tell me about the kiss,” she says and sits down next to me on the stiff bed.

  “It was intense and amazing and . . .”

  “And what?”

  “And not like anything I’ve ever felt before. I mean I’ve kissed a guy before. But not like that.”

  “What made it so different?” she asks.

  I relive my new favorite memory one more time, letting every detail play in slow motion as I consider her question.

  “It felt like . . . the start of something. And I could feel it in my toes.” The confession makes my face hot, and I bring my cool fingers to my cheeks.

  “A kiss isn’t just touching your mouth to someone else’s. A real kiss is a full-body experience,” she says and raises an eyebrow. Full-body experience. That’s a perfect description. “Tanzy, I think you just had your first real kiss.”

  “Maybe. I mean, I guess so. It was the first something, I can tell you that much.” I just hope there’s going to be a second. “Oh!” I say, straightening beside her. “There’s a lot more I have to tell you. Something crazy happened while I was out there.”

  “It’s about time. I’ve been dying to hear about your visitor,” she says with a wink. My mouth falls open. “I had a dream yesterday that felt, well, you know, not so normal. I wasn’t sure when it was going to happen.”

  “What all did you see?” I ask.

  “Just bits and pieces. They’re like a movie that’s gone through a blender.”

  “Did you see his face? His eyes were insane. I think he might have been insane, actually. I feel a little bad for him.”

  “Really? Because I only saw your face, and you seemed really angry.” Her voice lowers on her last words.

  “I was,” I answer, thinking back to the strange encounter. My fingers wander unprompted to the silver horseshoe, the most impossibly possible thing yet.

  What would Vanessa say about Lucas? I press my lips into a firm line, debating whether or not to tell her about him. Maybe just start with the necklace. But before I can tell her the truth about where the necklace came from, it warms against my bare skin and Lucas’s voice echoes in my listening mind. Don’t.

  Although I’m not wearing the ring, my eyes dart sideways and watch Vanessa’s face for a reaction. Had she heard him just then? Her gaze doesn’t lift from its focal point on the speckled tile.

  “So what did he say?” she presses.

  “Weird stuff,” I answer. “He called me a strange name. Spera. I guess he thought I was someone else. Honestly, I kind of felt like I knew him too, but I know I’ve never seen him before.”

  His chiseled face surfaces in the front of my mind and makes my pulse speed up. His eyes seem to burn into me from within my own memory. The racing blood makes whooshing sounds in my ears and my muscles respond to the adrenaline pumping full force into my body.

  “Is it hot in here to you? I think it’s hot in here,” I say, waving my hand in front of my face.

  “No, I don’t think so.” She regards me with a puzzled face. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m just really hot all of the sudden.”

  “You’re turning red,”
she says, alarmed.

  I roll up my pant legs and fan at my sweaty skin. “Do you think that window opens?” I ask, pointing at the narrow pane of glass.

  “No, I’m sure they keep it locked for—Tanzy, your legs,” she gasps.

  I follow her gaze. “What? They look okay. They’re . . . fine,” I repeat, stunned.

  They are fine. Perfect. Not a single scar blemishes my skin. Not even older scars from years of working on a farm. Just smooth, pale skin. Cold shock douses the internal heat wave like a bucket of ice water, leaving me chilled and clammy. We search the rest of me for any trace of my accident. I turn my back to her and rip my shirt over my head.

  “Do you see anything else?” I turn in a slow circle. Her wide eyes and open mouth say plenty.

  “Somehow I don’t think that happened during your accident,” she says and reaches toward my sternum. I instinctively cover the necklace with my hand but she touches the skin just underneath. “Unless you got that before.”

  “Got what?”

  “That.” She traces three small interlocking circles that are scarred into my skin like a brand. The raised mark is still a fresh red.

  “No. That wasn’t there before,” I answer in a strangled whisper. “What do you think it means? What’s happening to me?” The adrenaline coursing through my veins demands me to move, but my nerves flat-line and root me to the spot.

  “I don’t know. I think it’s glowing.” Vanessa stares at the mark.

  “Maybe it will go away.” I cover it with my hands.

  “Maybe,” she agrees. But she sounds skeptical. “Can I see something?”

  “Sure.” I drop my hands, expecting her to move closer, but she quickly crosses the room and flips the light switch.

  “Oh, Tanzy. You are not going to believe this,” she gasps as soon as the light goes out.

  “What?”

  “I can’t describe it. You’re going to have to see it for yourself.” Vanessa motions me over to the mirror. With a slow and careful hand she lifts the bottom of the sheet that covers the glass.

  The scar looks like it’s glowing. Alive, even. The hot pink brand brightens and dims in time with my pulse. I trace it with my finger tip.

  “It’s hot,” I say more to myself. Too hot. I can barely maintain steady contact with it. The overwhelming heat returns and begins to spread throughout my body. I dizzily take a step for the window.

  “I’ve got to get this thing open,” I say, and search the frame for any kind of latch.

  The instant the moonlight touches the scar it cools off. I let out a sigh of relief and rest my forehead against the cold window pane. The sensation of someone watching drills a hole into my bare skin. I glimpse down at the courtyard below and lock eyes with Lucas. He stands like a statue in the center of the lawn. I stifle a gasp and press my hand against the glass. What are you doing here? I thought you were all in my head.

  “Tanzy! What if someone sees you?” Vanessa hisses from behind me.

  I whirl to face her and back against the window so she can’t see past me. I don’t know whether or not he’s really there, and if she doesn’t see him and I do, I’m going to completely lose it.

  “I forgot that I didn’t have a shirt on,” I mumble, covering myself with my hands. It takes every bit of self-control I have not to glance back out of the window. I’ll check again when she leaves.

  I will myself to move to the mirror. As I draw even with it, I can’t help but lean away, quivering with dread over what I might see in my reflection. Finally, I let out a hard breath and meet my own eyes.

  Vanessa laughs. “Stop scrunching up your face.”

  “Oh, right.” I relax my face and concentrate on each feature one at a time. I don’t look that different. But I don’t look the same, either. My hair is definitely longer and nearly black. I lean toward my reflection. Are the shadows playing tricks on my eyes or is my face . . . sharper than it was before? And my eyes.

  “Will you turn the light back on?” I ask without turning away. The harsh fluorescent lighting washes over my pale skin. But it doesn’t soften the lines of my face like I thought it would. I press my fingertips into my cheekbones. They feel the same. Don’t they? I bring my face so close to the mirror that my breath fogs up the glass.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I say, straightening. “Everything is just a little different.”

  “I think that’s to be expected.”

  “You’re probably right.” I frown at myself in the mirror, startled to note that my hair is still nearly black even with the light on. I run my fingers through the dark waves. I finally look a little like Mom.

  The thought tastes bitter, especially since I have no idea where I’m going to go once I’m discharged. I consider the idea of calling her to see if she remembers what she said, but the possibility that she might have meant it is more than I can bear. I can always call Dana.

  “Are you okay? You’re doing that thing with your face again,” Vanessa asks.

  “I’m really freaked out.” Admitting it makes me feel a little better, and my muscles start to let go of each other.

  “It’s almost normal now,” she says and motions toward the circular scars. They’re the traditional angry pink of new scars, and the strange glow has disappeared in the light.

  “No, it’s not that. I mean, it is that. But I don’t know what’s going to happen after I’m discharged. Part of me is so excited about getting out of here that’s all I can think about. But I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to anyone. I can’t hide it forever.”

  “Actually, I was hoping you’d come stay with us for a while,” Vanessa says with an easy shrug. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it. We just always get a little sidetracked whenever we’re together.”

  “Are you serious?” I hold my breath and brace myself for her to reconsider.

  “First of all, our house is enormous. Ten people could live in there and never see each other. My husband and I talked about it and we both want to help you. He’ll probably ask you a million questions about your recovery though,” she laughs. “And I would love to have you stay with me until you figure out what you’re going to do. I feel like we were brought together for a reason. We’re two of a kind. Please say yes.”

  “Yes, yes. Of course. Are you kidding?”

  My whole body feels lighter, immediately shrugging off the weight of so many unknowns. For the first time in weeks, they don’t matter, and I’m going to live with the only other person who knows what it’s like to see the world so much differently than everyone else.

  “Good! Then it’s settled. I’m going to go home and get a room ready for you. I am so excited!”

  “Are you sure—” I start but she waves me off.

  “I have a lot to do so I probably won’t be back much between now and when you’re discharged. Have them page my husband if you need anything,” Vanessa says and quickly gathers her things.

  I don’t want her to rush out, but I am dying to see if Lucas is still there. “Vanessa,” I insist, feeling guilty. She stops at the doorway. “Thank you.”

  She gives me a wink and slips out of my room. As soon as I am alone I step to the window pane and stare hard into the dark night.

  The courtyard is empty.

  10 Pinch me

  Four hours. That’s all I have left between now and when Vanessa picks me up. More doctors than I care to count have stopped by to wish me well. None of them were very good at hiding their curiosity. But one doctor, well, almost-doctor, hasn’t come by. And his absence is driving me crazy.

  I haven’t seen Ryan since he left me in the courtyard two nights ago, but he’s pretty much the only thing I’ve thought about since. What had seemed so intriguing at the time now feels nothing short of insulting. I bristle every time I think about it. So I will not think about him again for the next four hours. My fingers absently fiddle with the little horseshoe necklace while I stare out the window. I could always thin
k about Lucas. Real or not, he is very easy to think about.

  “Can I come in?” Ryan calls from my open door.

  My pulse quickens at the sound of his voice, but I refuse to let my excitement show. If he wants to play hard to get, he’s met his match. “It’s your hospital,” I shrug.

  He crosses the room and sits beside me. My heart thumps against my ribs. I’m sure he can hear it. I hug my arms to my chest and beg it to slow down.

  “I heard you’re leaving today,” he says without turning his face.

  “You heard right.”

  “I will miss you. I wish we had more time together.”

  “I’ve been right here the last two days.”

  “I know.” His answer etches itself into my mind and makes my stomach sink. The few seconds we spend in silence feel like they might go on indefinitely.

  “What happened? In the courtyard?” I blurt.

  “I want to explain it to you, but now’s not the time or place.”

  “That’s just an excuse. I’m discharged. I’m not a patient here anymore.”

  He doesn’t respond. Each of us picks a different part of the room to stare at. I clasp my fingers together to keep from drumming them.

  “I heard you’re staying with Vanessa and David for a while.”

  “Yep.”

  “Can I call you sometime?”

  “I don’t have a phone yet. I don’t really have anything anymore, actually. Just Vanessa. And that,” I say ruefully and motion toward a plastic bag that holds everything I own. It isn’t much: the ring Vanessa gave me and the rest of the clothes that Dana brought. I still haven’t taken off the necklace.

  “But I guess you can call me at their house.”