Seb

by Cheryl Douglas

  “That’s why you wanted to move in with me,” I said as the pieces fell into place. I was an even bigger fool than I’d given myself credit for, falling for her story. “It wasn’t because you loved me so much—it was because you didn’t want to end up on the street. So there was never an inheritance?”

  She shook her head, looking miserable. “No, but I did love you. I still do.”

  She said those last few words so softly I had to strain to hear her.

  “You’ve got to be joking.” I wasn’t trying to be cruel or punish her. I just needed her to understand that what we’d had died a long time ago and I had zero interest in resurrecting it.

  As though she hadn’t heard me, she continued. “I started writing bad checks to keep up with my bills. The spending just kept spiraling out of control. I couldn’t stop it. Before I knew it, the police were after me.”

  “Jesus,” I said, swiping a hand over my face. “I don’t believe this.”

  “Yeah, so you want to know why I left without a word to you? I got arrested when I was trying to leave town. I’ve spent the past thirty months in jail. I would have come to see you as soon as I got out, but I needed some time to get my life together first.”

  She didn’t look or seem like she had her life together yet, but I thought it would be cruel to point that out. I wasn’t into kicking people when they were down, not even when they deserved it.

  “So I got a waitressing job and a studio apartment, and I’m finally living within my means,” she said. “If being in jail taught me one thing, it’s that the material things aren’t worth my freedom.”

  “I guess not.” It was difficult for me to even imagine how the sweet and gentle girl I used to know could survive in a place like that.

  “So when I saw your new girlfriend on your show, I realized I had to come see you now, before it was too late.”

  “I’m not following.” This whole conversation still seemed so surreal to me. I hadn’t woken up that morning expecting to get the answers I’d been looking for for the past three years only to realize they didn’t matter anymore.

  “Seb, I meant what I said. I’m still in love with you. I never would have left you, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to pay for my mistakes, and I did that. I guess I’m just here to beg for your forgiveness.”

  I stared at her in shock, unable to even form the words to tell her she was delusional if she thought we could pick up where we left off.

  “I don’t know how serious things are between you and Skylar—”

  “It’s over.” Just saying that hurt, but until I could convince Skylar to give me another chance, I had to face facts.

  She stepped forward, stopping just in front of me. She was close enough to touch me but holding back. “Does that mean you’d be willing to give me another chance?”

  “Emma, I—” I was just about to let her down gently when I heard rustling outside my door. It was open a few inches, just enough for someone to overhear our conversation. Shit. I grabbed Emma’s arms and set her aside. “Hold on.”

  I pulled the door open to find Skylar making her way down the stairs. “Skylar, wait. Don’t go. We need to talk.”

  She raised her hand and kept running, making me fear for her safety in those goddamn heels. I was afraid to chase her in case she fell and broke her neck, but I couldn’t let her get away without giving me a chance to explain what she’d overheard. The guys looked up when I barrelled through the shop, shouting Skylar’s name and cursing when I had to kick a wrench out of my path. I grabbed her arm when she went to get into her car, and when I turned her to face me, I saw tears streaking her cheeks.

  “Skylar, what you heard back there—”

  “I don’t care about that,” she said, pushing me away. “Go back to her. Don’t go back to her. I don’t care anymore!”

  Ouch. Talk about a slap in the face. “Then why’re you crying if you don’t care?”

  She swiped at the tears streaking her cheeks, looking as though she could commit murder if she had access to a weapon. “The whole goddamn world doesn’t revolve around you, you know. The rest of us have problems too!”

  Clients were coming and going, pretending not to listen to our conversation, though I knew they were. And I couldn’t have cared less. The only thing that mattered to me right now was Skylar. The only thing that could get her this upset was… “Is it your uncle? Is he okay?”

  She sobbed before clamping a hand over her mouth. “That’s what I came here to tell you. There’s no point in carrying on with the car, not that I expected you to since I’m not working for you anymore. I’ll arrange to have it towed from your place just as soon as I can.”

  “Skylar, tell me what’s going on,” I said, gripping her shoulders. “Did your uncle take a turn for the worse?”

  As tears flooded her eyes again, she nodded slowly. “They rushed him to the hospital yesterday. Heart failure. They don’t know how much longer he has.”

  I pulled her against my chest, holding on tight when her body went rigid. If she’d had anyone else to comfort her like this, she would have pushed me away, but she seemed to sink into me as though she was grateful to have someone share her burden, even if it was only for a few minutes.

  “I’m so sorry, baby.” I kissed the top of her head. “Tell me what I can do.”

  “Nothing.” She finally found the strength to push me away. “There’s nothing anyone can do. I guess it’s only a matter of time.” She sniffled. “I just have to figure out how to say good-bye.” Sinking against the car, she asked, “How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to say good-bye to him?”

  I held her face, my eyes searching hers. I hoped she could see that I would do anything to ease her pain. “I know you’re strong, but you can’t go through this alone. Let me come to the hospital with you. I’d like to see him.” I wanted to tell him that I would take care of Skylar if she’d let me. That I’d be there for her when he couldn’t be and I’d never let her down again.

  “No.” She looked over my shoulder, and I knew Emma’s timing had just gotten a little worse. “You have your own issues to deal with. I have to go. I’ll have someone pick up the car, and I’ll figure out a way to pay you for the work you’ve done so far.”

  “Damn it, this isn’t over,” I whispered in her ear when she reached for the door handle. “We’re not over.”

  “That’s not what you told Emma.”

  I had been planning to tell Emma that Skylar had cut me loose but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do everything in my power to get her back. “I was about to tell her—”

  “I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it. I have to go.”

  I let her go, but only because I knew she didn’t need any more drama in her life right now. Before she could close the door, I said, “Do me one favor?”

  She looked at me after she slipped her sunglasses in place.

  “Keep in touch. Let me know how he’s doing.” I couldn’t sit back and do nothing while she was going through hell. I would find some way to be there for her whether she wanted me or not.

  She nodded once before she slammed the door and sped out of the parking lot.

  Barely aware of Emma standing beside me, I watched her car until the taillights disappeared.

  “You said it was over,” she said quietly. “But you want her back, don’t you?”

  “More than anything.”

  “What happened?”

  “I was an idiot.” I cast a sidelong glance at her, remembering a time when she’d been my whole world. It felt like a lifetime ago. “I should have trusted her, but I couldn’t.”

  “Because of me?” she asked. “Did I mess you up so badly you couldn’t trust again?”

  It would have been easier to blame her or my past or the fact that I’d lost my mom as a kid, but then I thought about Skylar and all the loss she’d suffered. She’d still been willing to have faith in what we had. “No, I was just a coward. I was afraid of what I felt for her, I gu
ess. Maybe deep down, I had a hard time believing a woman like that could love a guy like me.”

  Emma touched my face, her smile trembling. “Seb Steele, you’re the best guy I’ve ever known. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

  Skylar certainly didn’t seem to feel that way, and she was the only one who mattered to me. “I need to go,” I said, reaching into my pocket for my keys.

  “Sure, I understand.” She stepped back, hoisting her purse up on her shoulder. “Thanks for hearing me out. Good luck with Skylar. I hope things work out for you.”

  I looked around the parking lot and realized I recognized all the cars. “Uh, do you have wheels? You need a lift somewhere?” I didn’t want to waste time chauffeuring my ex around, but I wasn’t about to leave her in a parking lot with no way to get home.

  “No, thanks, I can walk. It’s not far. You just go after your girl.” She curled her hand around my forearm. “And good luck.”

  I leaned in to kiss her forehead, something I’d never thought I’d have the urge to do. “Yeah, you too, Emma. Good-bye.” For the last time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Skylar

  I was sitting by my uncle’s bedside, dying a little more inside with every labored breath he took. I watched the clock, wishing seconds were minutes and my time with him wasn’t limited by that damn ticking that reminded me time to say all the things I needed to say was running out. But how could I tell the man who’d given me a second chance at life that I loved him and wouldn’t be who I was without him?

  “Skylar?” the nurse said, poking her head in the door. “I’m sorry to bother you, honey, but there’s a very handsome young man in the waiting room who says he’d like to see you, if you can take a minute?”

  My mind immediately went to Seb and how good it had felt to have his arms wrapped around me that afternoon. But I’d made it clear I didn’t need or want him. Even if I had been lying to myself, I thought I’d convinced him.

  “Did he say what his name was, Liz?”

  She shook her head. “But he looks so familiar. I know I’ve seen him somewhere, but I can’t seem to place him.”

  Like on TV, maybe? “Thanks, I’ll be right out.”

  I took a moment to collect myself, dry my tears, and take a deep breath before facing him. As I walked out of the room, I realized I should rehearse what I wanted to say so I could be firm about him leaving and respecting my right to privacy, but all words fled as Seb walked toward me. He looked so strong and confident, everything I wasn’t at the moment.

  “How is he?” he asked quietly, meeting me just outside my uncle’s door.

  I led him away. It felt wrong somehow to talk about the end of my uncle’s life within earshot of him. “He’s hanging in there.” Barely. “How did you know where to find me?” Since there were several hospitals in the area, I could only imagine the process he’d gone through to wind up here.

  “I went to see Mrs. Ryan.”

  That surprised me. Our landlady, who had been so much more to my uncle in recent weeks, had been at the hospital almost around the clock since my uncle was admitted. I finally had to insist on taking her home earlier to get some rest, though I knew she would be back soon. She claimed Charlie was sad when he woke up and found she wasn’t there.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about the gene therapy?” he asked.

  I couldn’t believe Mrs. Ryan had told him about that. When my uncle was diagnosed, the specialist had told us they were making great strides with gene therapy treatment, but he didn’t qualify for the ongoing clinical trials. Since we could barely afford the portion of the current treatment protocol not covered by our insurance, I knew anything more wasn’t an option for us.

  “What’s the point?” I asked.

  “How can you say that?” He grabbed my elbow and led me away from the waiting room, toward the exit. “People are seeing amazing results with this, Skylar.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I did some research.”

  I was touched he’d taken the time to look into it, but that didn’t change anything. It was still way beyond our reach. “The point is we can’t afford it. Because it’s still considered experimental, it hasn’t been approved for—”

  “But I can afford it.”

  I was too stunned to respond. Surely he wasn’t suggesting…? “Seb, you barely know my uncle. Why would you want to—?”

  “Because I know you and I know how much he means to you. If I can do anything to help him, I will. So talk to his doctor and figure out how to get him on the inhaler.”

  It sounded so simple—an inhaler that could change my uncle’s life. “You have no idea how much these things can cost,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t ask you to do this.”

  “You’re not asking—I’m offering. I’m telling you that I’m doing this, so either you talk to his doctor or I will.”

  The tears that had been flowing freely ever since my uncle had been admitted with advanced symptoms of heart failure three days ago returned full force as I hugged Seb. “Thank you so much. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

  “You don’t have to,” he said, squeezing me hard. “I don’t know if this’ll work, baby. I pray to God it does, but even if it doesn’t, at least you’ll know you did all you could for him, right?”

  The fact that we now had some sliver of hope where none existed before was enough for me.

  ***

  Uncle Charlie’s specialist had been able to pull some strings in the days since Seb instructed him to do whatever he could to treat my uncle, no matter the cost, and Uncle Charlie had started taking the experimental medicine yesterday. So far, so good, but the doctors weren’t expecting miracles. They may not have been, but I was. Medical miracles happened every day, and with every fiber of my being, I wanted my uncle to be one of those stories.

  During the past few days, Seb had been incredible. He’d sat by my side in the hospital waiting room and by my uncle’s bedside, often insisting he take me home to shower or sleep for a few hours. He brought me food and coffee, held me when I needed to cry or pray. He’d been my rock, but we’d avoided the subject that was on my mind now—Emma.

  “What’s that look about?” he asked.

  We were sitting on a bench outside the hospital after Seb suggested we take a short walk to get some fresh air, and I knew it was time to share my concerns and get my questions answered. “Um, I was surprised to find Emma in your office the other day. Did you know she was coming?”

  He seemed relieved that I’d finally asked about his ex-girlfriend. “No, I had no idea. I was shocked, to be honest.”

  “What did she want?” I’d overheard part of their conversation, so I knew she had been hoping for a reconciliation, but I wanted to hear his version of the story.

  “To get back together.”

  I was grateful he’d been honest with me. If he’d tried to downplay it, I would have questioned him again, and that was the last thing I wanted right now. More than anything, I wanted to believe in Seb, in us, again.

  “She, uh, explained to me what happened, why she left.”

  “And…?” It was none of my business, but I had to ask. The curiosity was killing me.

  “Believe it or not, she’s been in jail.”

  I gaped at him, trying to decide whether he was serious. Apparently he was. Huh. “Why? What did she do?”

  He rubbed his face, and I realized how tired he must be. He’d been so busy taking care of me, I hadn’t realized he could probably use a little of the same treatment.

  “Wrote some bad checks, apparently,” he said. “Got in over her head with a lifestyle she couldn’t afford. One thing led to another, and before she knew it, she was bouncing checks all over town by the sounds of it.”

  “Wow.” I’d never cared much about material things, so I couldn’t claim to understand how she’d let that happen. “I guess that answers the question about why she left you without an explanation.”


  “She was ashamed she’d let it get so out of hand, said she didn’t want me to get caught up in her drama.”

  “How would you have reacted had you known?” I asked. “Would you have stood by her?” Given how he’d stood by me over the past few days in spite of the challenges we’d faced, he didn’t seem like the kind of man who’d walk away from a woman in need.

  “That’s a good question.” He looked down, running his thumb over the deep lifeline gracing his palm. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done once I got over the shock. And now I’ll never know. That part of my life is over.”

  “Does that mean you don’t want to get back together with her?” I had to know what he was thinking and feeling about her. If I didn’t hear him say “It’s over,” I could never contemplate a future with him.

  “Not a chance.” His eyes roamed my face slowly. “I’m surprised you have to ask. I thought the fact that I’ve barely left your side the past few days would give you some indication of where my heart and head are.”

  Seb had managed to erase a lot of my fears and concerns over the past few days. When he’d accused me of cheating on him with Jarod, I didn’t think he could ever be the kind of man I needed—one who would believe in me and be there for me no matter what. But the way he’d reacted to the news of my uncle’s deteriorating health made me believe he was someone I could count on when the chips were down.

  “I don’t believe in coincidences,” I said, watching a family rush their elderly mother into the emergency room in a wheelchair. The old woman was wincing, clearly fighting back tears as she held her shoulder. I wondered what had happened to her and if she realized how lucky she was to be surrounded by people who loved her. “I think Emma showed up when she did because you needed to ask yourself some tough questions, namely whether you’re over her.”

  I’d questioned that numerous times, especially when I heard Seb or his family talk about Emma and the connection they’d had. I could never live in another woman’s shadow, always wondering if he would have preferred her given the chance. So I was glad she’d come back. At least now I would have my answer.