Lean on Me

by Candy Crum

  He put a rag down on the table before moving to her side. “Here, lean on me.”

  Bri grinned. “If you’re just going to break into song, I think I’ll take my chances.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “While I think a rousing rendition of ‘Lean on Me’ is entirely appropriate and just a delight for all those involved, you are safe for the moment.”

  She moved her arm around his waist and he helped support her weight. He allowed her to lead, for fear of accidentally forcing her to move too quickly. His efforts proved to be useless, however, as she turned on the wrong ankle and injured herself.

  Bri cried out as tears welled up in her eyes. Her body completely went limp as the pain seized her. Matt was fast to catch her, still being mindful of her broken ribs. Without warning, Matt picked her up bridal style.

  “You don’t have to carry me,” Bri said through her tears, her voice tiny and crackled with pain.

  “No arguments. I brought you here to take care of you. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Please, just let me.”

  Bri looked into his determined eyes and lost all fight in herself. She only nodded in response. He seemed to glide across the floor, careful not to jostle her as he moved. He began heading upstairs to where his room was.

  “Where are we going?” she asked. “I thought I was sleeping on the couch?”

  “No. You’re going to sleep comfortably on my obscenely expensive overstuffed full-sized pillow top mattress.”

  “No! I can’t take your bed. Where would you sleep?”

  He wanted to laugh at her for worrying so much about him, but he resisted. “I’m going to sleep on the couch. But don’t worry. If you need anything I’ll be right here. I’m going to set up Gabe’s old baby monitors. You call; I’m there.”

  She put her hand on the side of his face and gently pulled him closer. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

  Matt was a little startled by her reaction, but didn’t let it show. “No problem.”

  He carried her inside and sat her on the edge of the bed before helping her maneuver under the blankets and get comfortable. He grabbed one of the many pillows lying around and elevated her bad ankle before propping her up at a comfortable level that didn’t put much stress on her ribs. Once he finished tucking her in, he turned on the bedside lamp before heading to the door to turn off the overhead light.

  “Sleep well, Briana.”

  Bri watched as he began to retreat from the room. Something had been bothering her and she wanted to ask then while they were alone. “Matt?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Your mom and sister didn’t say anything about my being… you know. Did you really not tell them?”

  “It isn’t my secret to tell, and I won’t. Though my mom knows something’s going on, she doesn’t know what – yet. What your parents did to you was unforgiveable. But just remember who your real mom has been all these years. You do have a family, even if you’re too scared to accept it just yet.”

  A sad smile crept across Bri’s face. She knew that he was right. She needed to be honest with Shaelyn, but she just wasn’t ready yet. Too much had already happened because of the pregnancy. She couldn’t bring herself to risk losing someone else that she loved so much.

  “Get some sleep.” Matt turned once again and headed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Bri lay back, shifting around until she found a position that was bearable. She closed her eyes and surrounded herself with thoughts of things that made her happy, like Matt and his family. It wasn’t long before rest found her, pulling her down into a deep sleep.

  The house was quiet and almost completely dark. Matt was asleep on the living room couch downstairs, an open window just a few feet away. He enjoyed the thick, damp night air gently blowing across his body as he slept. The smell soothing him further into unconsciousness. As promised, he set the baby monitors up, keeping it close to him on the coffee table just in case she needed him.

  As two A.M. approached, he began to hear stirring across the monitor. The sound of sheets shuffling around woke him. His eyes fluttered open and he immediately began listening in. He first thought she may be trying to situate, but he soon heard a groan. She sheets began shuffling again as she groaned once more.

  “No,” she said softly. Her voice was barely a whisper. “St – Stop. Please.”

  That was all he needed to hear. Matt threw the blankets back and began running upstairs, stepping lightly as he moved. He didn’t bother knocking, just opening the door to find Bri gripping the sheets, her face distressed. He moved to the side of the bed and examined her. She was still asleep, sweat beading up on her forehead andkissing the rest of her skin. Even broken and bruised, she looked beautiful to him and seeing her so upset bruised him terribly.

  Matt sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her cheek. “Bri,” he said, softly at first. “Bri, you have to wake up.”

  He wanted to shake her awake, but was afraid to touch her anywhere else for fear of hurting her. He began stroking her cheek, watching as she grimaced in her terrible sleep.

  “Mike… Please… The baby…”

  Blind fury shot through Matt’s veins at her words. He had never been so angry in his entire life. He so badly wanted to find Mike and torture him in ways he never believed possible.

  She needs you, he thought to himself. Calm down.

  He took a deep breath, trying to relax himself. Leaning over, he placed his mouth next to her ear and his hand under the back of her head, cradling her closely.

  “Bri. He can’t hurt you now. You’re with me. Wake up, Bri. Just wake up.”

  Bri woke with a start, instinctively pushing against Matt. He pulled back so his face was in her line of sight. “It’s me, babe. Just me.” He gently smoothed her hair.

  Her chest began to tighten when she saw him. She tried to sit up, feeling a desperate need to wrap her arms around him. Without a word, she pulled him down into a hug; certain that he could feel every rapid rise of her chest as she pressed against him. He seemed to understand the need, though, and soon wrapped his arms around her, careful not to apply too much pressure.

  “It was awful. It was like I was really back there. I could even feel them kicking me. I could feel his breath on my face when he spoke to me. Matt, it was awful.”

  “I know, I know,” he soothed, gently stroking her back as much as possible with his hand pressed between her and the bed.

  “You’re here with me now, it’s okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

  The thought of him going back downstairs occurred to her. She couldn’t bear the thought of being alone again. It will just keep happening, she thought.

  “Will you stay here with me?” she asked, fear of his answer making her voice tiny.

  He smiled. “Can’t resist me huh?” Bri only shook her head, taking a deep breath to calm herself some more. “No witty comeback? That’s not good, my dear.”

  She shook her head once more. “No. So – will you?”

  “Will I? You have to ask if I want to sleep next to a beautiful girl?” He smiled again and winked. She blushed at the comment, not feeling very attractive because of her injuries. Still, it meant a lot coming from him.

  Matt got up, the light breeze from the overhead fan hitting him and reminding him that he was shirtless. He first headed to the closet.

  “What are you doing?” Bri asked.

  “Grabbing a shirt. I’ll just be a sec.”

  Bri watched him walk into the large closet and look around for a shirt to wear. She hadn’t even realized that he was shirtless before. She’d been far too preoccupied with her fear and discomfort to even notice. She thought back to how he held her. Now that she was thinking more clearly, she remembered his skin under her fingers and how it felt. It hadn’t felt at all like Mike. Matt was warm and very firm due to his fitness routines, but still seemed somehow soft. He was comfortable…

&
nbsp; Comforting…

  “If that’s how you normally sleep, you don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable just for me. I don’t mind.”

  Matt turned, looking her over. He grinned, a witty retort never far from his lips when it came to her. “I usually sleep naked. Is that alright?”

  Bri found herself smiling. It was a surprise to her, but one she enjoyed. “I might have to say ‘no’ there. But if sleeping shirtless for you is more restful then that’s fine. You already have to babysit me. I’d hate for you to be uncomfy too.”

  Still smiling, he exited the closet and shut the door. Within moments he was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, pulling back the covers and crawling in.

  “So do I need to put a body pillow or something between us?” he asked.

  She laughed lightly. “Na. I trust you.”

  “Me? I’m more worried about you over there. You’re not used to seeing sexy quite like this.” He made a mock “seductive” face while tracing a line down his chest with his fingers. “I’m not sure even some broken ribs will hold you back.”

  Bri shook her head, smiling. “You’re an asshole.”

  Matt rolled on his side and snuggled up to her, batting his long dark eyelashes. “Yeah, but I’m your asshole.”

  She rolled her eyes and slowly moved closer to him. Matt gently slid his arm under her back and helped slide her closer. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He was warm and his skin was so smooth against her face. She immediately regained her previous fatigue as her mind quickly wore down from the earlier stress.

  As she grew more comfortable, her arm slid down to her side. Matt felt her tiny hand close to his and impulse drove him to take hold. It was the one with the broken finger, so he held on to remind himself not to move around in his sleep and endanger the injured digit. When her fingers struggled to hold his, he found himself holding on for another reason.

  He’d always given Bri a hard time about wanting him, even though he knew she didn’t, not because he wanted to be with her, but just because that was their relationship. He enjoyed picking on her. Now, he felt a small ache within himself, something he didn’t quite recognize. He quickly put it away and focused on her breathing.

  She’d fallen asleep already. He could hear every little catch in her breaths. He imagined they were due to the broken ribs. All thoughts soon escaped him as he fell right behind her, drifting off into a dreamless and alert sleep. Ready to take on the world if she needed it.

  Bri found herself wandering into the kitchen with an empty stomach. She flipped on the light over the stove, needing just enough to look through the cabinets. She heard something from behind her and turned, immediately startled to find Shaelyn standing there next to the fridge.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Shaelyn said. “Are you hungry?”

  “Yeah. I get snacky in the middle of the night sometimes. I’m sorry that I woke you.”

  Shaelyn waved her hand in the air. “I never fully sleep through the night. I’m a mother. I always wake multiple times, even though my babies are grown.”

  Bri smiled, thinking of being that way herself once the baby came. She imagined she’d be like that the rest of her life, too. Just like Shaelyn.

  “Bri,” Shaelyn began. “I need to ask you something. This whole situation is bothering me. Something about it doesn’t set well with me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Mike seemed like a pretty great guy. Why on earth would he attack you? That doesn’t sound like him at all. Did you provoke him?”

  Bri’s jaw fell open. She couldn’t remember a single good thing Shaelyn had ever said about Mike. She hated him. She, too, felt like Bri and Matt belonged together, though she would never push. But she hated Mike for all but taking Bri away from Matt, no longer allowing them to hang out with and see one another.

  “I thought you hated him? And why would you ever think I provoked him?” Bri couldn’t wrap her head around it.

  “Hate him? No, Bri. He was a pretty good boy. He has his issues, but he’s a good boy. He was good to you. What happened?”

  “Good to me? He was terrible! He pressured me into staying on the basketball team. He pressured me into going out with him. He even pressured me into having sex! I didn’t want to, not even a little! And now I’m…” Bri’s eye’s widened and she clamped a hand down over her own mouth. She couldn’t believe she’d just said that.

  “Pregnant? Is that what this whole mess is about? Is that why my Matthew is so protective of you?”

  Bri took a deep breath before nodding. “Yes. Matt’s always been protective over me, but now it’s a thousand times worse. Especially now after the attack.”

  Shaelyn stood silent for a few moments. Bri could see that her mind was wandering, but she had no idea what was there. Shaelyn stepped forward, stopping just a few inches away. Her expression was unreadable as she looked into Bri’s eyes.

  “You know I love you. I always have. But this is wrong. That boy is scarred from losing his baby brother. I know you remember how hard he took it. Some days I think it was worse for him than it was for me, if you can fathom that. But, this can’t happen.”

  “What are you saying?” Bri asked, fighting tears from forming. She didn’t know if she could handle what was coming.

  “Matthew will devote himself to you and only you, protecting you and helping you and that child. And in time, he will convince himself that he loves you and only you and could never be with anyone else. And when that baby comes, he will love and treat it as his own. He will give up any chance of having a life of his own - the life that he wanted - to take care of you. Is that what you want for him?”

  Tears fell from Bri’s eyes, a single drop dampening each cheek as they slowly rolled down. The truth was that she didn’t want that for Matt. And as much as she wanted to say otherwise, she could already see that it was happening. He carried her everywhere, did everything for her, and was incredibly attentive and sweet. Shaelyn was right. She was planning out his future and she didn’t even know.

  “No. That’s not what I want for him at all. He’s my best friend. I could never sentence him to a chained future like that.”

  Shaelyn nodded. “I didn’t think so. In that case, the best thing that you can do is go out on your own. I’m sorry. I love you, but if you stay, he will only get closer to you.”

  The thought of leaving Matt at that moment crushed her far more than she imagined it would have. She couldn’t bear it, even though she knew Shaelyn was right.

  “I – I don’t know if I can.” Tears were falling more freely now, her cheeks blushing with her increasing distress.

  “Do you love him?”

  The question was strange to Bri, foreign as if it had never occurred to her that those words could ever be asked in reference to the boy that had been by her side the entire length of her life.

  “I don’t know,” she said, choking back more tears.

  Shaelyn lightly shook her head. “Then leave. Because ‘I don’t know’ isn’t good enough. Not for me, and certainly not for him. Please, don’t make me ask again.”

  Bri sobbed, no longer able to hold back her intense sadness and overwhelming fears. The world no longer held a place for her or her baby…

  It’s what’s best… she thought.

  Bri awoke, tears staining her face in reality just as they had in her dream. She looked to her left and saw the sweet boy that she’d come to call her best friend, lying beside her, sound asleep. He looked so peaceful and beautiful to her. She thought about everything he’d done for her already and everything he probably would do. She couldn’t handle it.

  I’m going to ruin his life, she thought. He can’t be a father because of my mistake. I can’t force him to give up his dreams for me.

  To avoid both pain and waking Matt, she moved slowly as she got out of bed. Matt began to stir, but she managed to slip out of the bed without him waking. She bit down on her lip as she stood, stif
ling her cries as her ribs immediately began to ache.

  Carefully, she picked up her bags and carried them to the door. She looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 4:30 A.M. Everyone should still be asleep, she thought. She took one last look at Matt, smiling softly as she did, before making her way out of the bedroom. Getting downstairs took far longer than she’d imagined, but once she made it outside to the cool air, she was grateful that she did. She’d worked up a sweat moving around so much.

  Bri weighed her options and quickly realized that she didn’t really have any. The only thing that she knew was that she had school that day and needed to make sure to be there. Allowing Mike and his buddies hurt her ability to be at school wasn’t an option for her. She loved school and all of her friends. Deciding that she would figure it out as it came, she settled on the thing she felt needed to happen first. She needed to get away from that house. From Matt. Though it may have been a dream, she couldn’t allow it to become reality.

  Chapter 7

  Eight A.M. rolled around pretty quickly for Bri. When she’d left Matt’s she walked to the park. It had taken almost an hour just to get there. She stayed for a little while before heading to a gas station to go to the bathroom and clean up. She refilled a water bottle that she’d emptied in that time and put it back in her backpack.

  Bri made sure to arrive at school a little early. There were no students yet, but the doors were all unlocked. She managed to sneak in the gym door and headed straight for the locker rooms. She took a quick shower and carefully dried her hair under one of the taller hand dryers, hoping to not hurt her ribs further. After getting dressed, she put on a hoodie and hid her duffel bag in one of the lockers and snuck out.

  By that time, the school had afew early-birds wandering about. She went to the cafeteria and got some breakfast, her parents having paid through the month for her meals. She sat alone, hoping not to draw any attention, though she knew that was going to be far more difficult in class. She quickly finished and went to her first class, making sure to pull the hood up so no one would notice.