Lean on Me

by Candy Crum

  “Stretches everyone! Snyder! You lead.”

  Jan Snyder ran to the front, her highlighted hair bouncing around in its ponytail as she smiled. Jan was another one of the cheerleaders. Friends with Tara, actually. Jan was just as bubbly as most cheerleaders come, though she was much nicer than most. She was one of the only people in the school that hadn’t given Bri a hard time.

  “Touch your toes!” Jan directed.

  Everyone knelt down and began touching their toes. Bri spread her legs a little so her belly would nestle between her legs instead of pressing against it. She grunted a little, but smiled when she was able to touch her toes.

  “Having some trouble in your old age there Grace?” Mrs. Schroder asked.

  Bri quickly lifted, making sure to slouch in order to hold her belly in tighter. “No, ma’am.”

  “Well, that sounded terrible for a basketball player and track star. Getting a little sloppy since your exit from the sports life? Suck it up, Grace.”

  Bri nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

  A few of the girls around her giggledat the conversation. Bri managed a sarcastic smile in their direction and turned back around, some of them managing an eye roll. Bri did her best to follow further instructions from Jan without making any noise, though hiding her face in her chest and grimacing in extreme discomfort was not out of the question.

  Bri’s ribs still ached, even though they had healed for the most part. She did her best to push through to the end, knowing that if she didn’t at least try to stretch, what was coming could hurt a lot worse – whatever that may be.

  “Laps!” the teacher shouted. “The last one to finish gets five more. Let’s see good time, ladies!”

  The girls began running around the gym and Bri immediately felt it. She angrily sighed at herself, hating that she’d already lost so much of her stamina with the amount of time she’d been down. She knew from research that pregnant women weren’t weak. They could still do the majority of things they did before pregnancy, though the size of the belly could later become an issue. No, this issue was strictly from being stuck in bed or on a couch for weeks and she hated it.

  Naturally, the slowed stamina and the rib pain put Bri behind everyone. She pushed as hard as she could, but once her stomach started to turn she had to back off. She was grateful that the urge to vomit was due to running and not the baby, or she’d have had some issues. Just as she’d forced herself in track many times, she pushed herself now, willing her body not to give in to the urge to be sick.

  Bri’s hormones began to cooperate, her endorphins starting to kick in. She felt her body start to get back into the motions. She smiled to herself, happy that she was finally doing again what she loved. She vowed – if she could get him to even hang around her for more than five minutes – that she would start running with Matt again.

  Bri began moving faster, catching up to the girls in front of her. Without warning, a foot snaked out, tangling in Bri’s and bringing her down to the ground. She twisted her body so her side would take the brunt of the impact, shielding her belly. She managed to break most of her fall with her hands, but she still got the wind knocked out of her.

  She slid to a stop, extreme pain echoing loudly through her arm and consuming her brain. Some of the skin on her elbow burned away as the hardwood floor gripped onto her skin and pulled it off from the friction. She ground her teeth down hard, fighting back the urge to cry out.

  Giggling erupted throughout the gym. She looked up to see Sara Anderson looking down at her, yet another cheerleader. She was grinning from ear to ear, but not laughing like the rest. “Oooh, that’s too bad, Grace. That must have hurt.”

  Bailey, Sara’s shadow, began laughing. “At least she’s fat. It probably didn’t hurt as much.”

  Normally, Bri would find it offensive to hear something so cruel, and it would knock her back a step or two. Instead, she just grew pissed off.

  Sara looked down, eyes widening. Bri’s eyes followed to see that the hem of her shirt had lifted a bit, revealing her pregnant tummy as plain as day. Sara lightly shook her head before a wicked grin spread across her face. “No, she’s not fat. She’s still pregnant.”

  Several whispers and some fits of laughter erupted. Bri had no idea what could possibly be funny about a sixteen year old pregnant girl. The teacher stepped out of the crowd. Trash talking and telling a young girl that she’s fat was okay, but this seemed disturbing to her.

  Bri yanked her shirt down and inspected her arm where the skin had been burned away by friction on the floor. She hissed in pain as she touched it, even knowing not to. She slowly turned from side to side, silently rejoicing that she had managed not to reinjure herself. She took a deep breath and stood, facing Sara eye to eye. She wanted to punch the spoiled girl in the face, but she managed to keep her rage in a tight coil, only allowing herself to give the girl the look.

  “What’s going on, Grace?” Mrs. Schroder asked. She stepped forward again, looking down to the baby bump that Bri no longer attempted to hide. “I thought you’d lost it.” The comment was rude at best and certainly cruel. How could someone – a woman no less – be so callous about the loss of another woman’s child? Even if that woman was only technically still a girl.

  “No,” Bri said. “I didn’t lose the baby. I just said that so I could stay in school.”

  The teacher shook her head. “Come with me.”

  She put her hand firmly on Bri’s back, all but pushing her along into a fast stride. They just shy of speed walked all the way to the principal’s office. When they walked in, Principal Ripley was not at all happy to see Bri’s face again.

  “And what now, Miss Grace?” she asked. Her eyes wandered down and she saw it. A moment of stunned silence washed through the air before irritation replaced it. “I hate to sound insensitive, but I thought that you suffered a miscarriage?”

  Though Bri didn’t like her tone, she was certainly far fonder of her response than her gym teacher. It amazed her that Mike alone had told enough people that the faculty even knew about it. She was even more disgusted by him, if that was even possible.

  “I said that for many reasons. One of those being that I wanted to stay in school. Just because I made what you would consider a stupid mistake doesn’t mean that I should be removed from any chance of getting an education – rendering me actually stupid. I am not a slacker. You know this. I am not, and have not, used this baby as an excuse for anything. My child deserves the very best that I have to offer and I simply don’t think high school dropout has ‘I strived for my best’ written all over it.”

  “Lots of teenage mothers have been forced to leave school in order have their children. Do you feel you’re better than them? That you deserve special treatment? Those sports records of yours can only get you so far when pregnant, dear.”

  Bri clenched her fists, trying to curb her anger. Her hormones were out of control today and anger, rather than depression or whatever other random pregnancy-induced mega-emotion, seemed to be her poison of choice.

  “Every mother has to make a choice for herself. Older mothers make decisions on if they want to be stay at home mothers or if they want to go back to work. Teen mothers have to decide if they are capable of staying in school or if they have to drop out and get a job. I’m confident that I can do both. They have to make a choice that is right for them. I am no better and certainly no worse than them. We are equals. The fact that you are trying to paint me into such an ugly category is disgusting.”

  “I think you’ve painted yourself into a very colorful category all by yourself, Miss Grace,” Principal Ripley said.

  Bri couldn’t handle being in that room any longer. She was about to explode, and while she prided herself on speaking her mind respectively, she was about to lose that ability and speak exactly what was on her mind.

  “So what exactly is going to happen?” Bri asked. “Bottom line, my pregnancy affects no one other than me at this school. I’m not asking people for money or
things, I’m not parading it around. Up until now I’ve done a very good job hiding it. I want to stay.”

  “Well, the unfortunate truth is that this is a small town and word travels fast. When word of your pregnancy spread the first time, I had angry parents calling to get you expelled from school. They didn’t want you influencing their children.”

  Bri laughed. “And how exactly would I do that? I’m not advocating for teen pregnancy. I think it’s a terrible idea. But things happen, don’t they? Sometimes you can’t control the world around you and things happen. I would never push or encourage a young girl to think pregnancy is a good decision for them. It’s terrible. If anything, I’d be a fantastic role model for speaking and helping teens decide against it.”

  “That’s fantastic and sounds just magical, but the reality is that you are an all-star here. You are a huge influence on so many. There have been many girls struggling to try out for teams because they were inspired by you. They think you’re a goddess around here. You’re beautiful. You’re kind and gracious. You’re helpful and have even given to the less fortunate students here, making sure they had nice clothes or food to eat. I’ve seen you do great things here. The girls in this school want to be you.”

  “But if I’m so wonderful, if I’m all of those things you just said, then why on earth do I deserve to be punished?”

  “Because sometimes you can’t control the world around you. Sometimes things just happen. Isn’t that right? Because you can’t control those girls. And if they think that you believe it to be a good idea, they might think that it is, too. You can’t control them. And if even one succeeds, it’s this school that catches the hell for it. Not you. However, if you’re punished for your actions, the girls may think twice.”

  Bri sat back in her seat. She knew now what was happening. It didn’t matter that she made straight A’s. It didn’t matter that she had won more basketball games for this school than any other player. It didn’t matter that she had held fund raisers to pay for class trips that she wasn’t even part of, just so the less fortunate students could go. None of these things mattered. Because of only one thing. One moment in her history changed everything. She was being made into an example.

  “You’re kicking me out.” It was more of a statement than a question. She’d deep down hoped that it was just a fear of hers and that her school couldn’t possibly be that backward, but she was wrong.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Grace. I have no choice.”

  “How long?” Bri asked. “Until I have the baby?”

  “It’s possible, though I don’t think it’s a good idea that you come back after delivery. Still, even if you came back you would never catch up in time for graduation. You’ll have to repeat this year, as well as complete senior year.”

  “There is nothing at all that I can do to convince you otherwise?” Bri asked, still holding on to the last shred of hope that she had.

  Miss Ripley shook her head. “No. I’m afraid not. We simply cannot condone such irresponsible behavior. That being said, I’d like for you to go collect your things from your locker and leave.”

  Bri only nodded, not wanting to fight. Unfortunately, she knew it would do absolutely no good. She stood and headed for the office door.

  “Briana,” Miss Ripley said. Bri turned. “I would like to make a suggestion, if I may.”

  “Yes?” The rage had left Bri and sadness and worry began replacing it. She was beginning to realize that if school knew about her pregnancy because she was unable to hide it, Shaelyn would soon figure it out too. There was no place for her now.

  “It isn’t my place to tell you what to do. And in the end, only you can make that decision. But if I were to suggest something, I would suggest giving the baby up for adoption. You have an incredibly promising future ahead of you. I would hate to see you throw it away over a silly mistake. Over one night.”

  Bri smiled sadly. “You don’t have children, do you, Miss Ripley?”

  The principal shook her head. “No. I do not.”

  “Then you wouldn’t understand. Now that I’m pregnant… Now that I’ve felt my baby kick… My future can only be promising with my child by my side.”

  With that, Bri turned and walked away. Normally, a teacher would be sent with a student being suspended or expelled, but they let Bri go alone. She gathered her things and immediately went to find Matt’s class. She felt butterflies in her stomach as she approached the door. She was excited to talk to him, but had no idea if he’d feel the same. She missed her best friend, but he’d been so distant.

  She hid in the hallway and looked through the small window in the door. She waited for a few minutes, silently cursing Matt for not looking up. Finally, after five minutes or so, he looked up. She waved in his direction and it caught his attention. She motioned for him to come outside and then ducked back in the hall where no one could see her anymore.

  It wasn’t long before Matt came outside. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I need your cell phone. I need to call Jacqueline.”

  Matt’s brows furrowed. “Why? Bri, what’s going on?”

  She sighed. “Gym class got me busted. It was terrible. That bitch Sara tripped me and when I rolled, my shirt came up and everyone saw my pregnant belly. I was more or less shoved down to the principal’s office and we had a nice little discussion before I was expelled.”

  Matt’s eyes widened. “Expelled?”

  Bri nodded. “Yeah. So I need Jack to come pick me up. I’m just trying to figure out how to keep what happened from her. I guess I could just tell her I fell and got hurt. That’s not exactly a lie.” She lifted her arm and showed him the nasty place on her arm.

  His face contorted for a second. “Gee, thanks for that. You need to get something on that. Make sure it doesn’t get infected. That’s the last thing you need.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, no kidding. So… Phone? Can I havezy?”

  “Havezy?” He pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at her with an amused expression.

  “No clue where that came from. Shut up.” She lightly punched him before taking the phone and made the call.

  “Hello? Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now, bub?” Jacqueline asked.

  “Hey! It’s Bri. I fell in gym class and got roughed up a bit. They are letting me go home. Would you be willing to come get me?”

  “How bad? Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

  “Oh no! No, nothing like that. I’m just not feeling really well right now, so I just want to go home.” Bri felt terrible for lying about the truth and for making her worry.

  “Okay. I’ll be there. Just sit tight.”

  “See you soon.”

  The phone went silent and Bri handed it back to Matt. “Would you like for me to come with you?”

  Bri looked up, her eyes meeting his. It was the first time he’d actually looked at her in weeks. Finally, she shook her head. “No, you should stay in class. But thank you. I do appreciate it.”

  He nodded, his demeanor turning steely again. He didn’t seem rude, only distant. “Let me know when you make it home, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.” He turned to walk back in, but she grabbed his hand. “Matt?”

  He stopped, first looking down to where her tiny hand held his much larger one before meeting her eyes once more. “Yes?”

  She paused a moment, trying to find the words that she wanted to use. “Are we okay?”

  Matt wasn’t exactly sure how to respond. There wasn’t anything “wrong” between them. He just realized he was allowing himself to get too close to her and it was a bad idea. He didn’t mind her being pregnant. He loved babies, kids, and wanted to be a dad one day. He just didn’t want to overwhelm her and with everything happening to her, having to worry about one more person would be cruel and unfair, in his eyes.

  “Bri, there’s nothing wrong between us. You’re still my best friend, and I’m still here for you. Things are just a bit complicated, that�
��s all.”

  “That’s an understatement,” she said, laughing a bit. “But okay, as long as you don’t hate me. It seems like ever since that fight, things have been different between us. I hate it.”

  Matt stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. “Don’t think and worry so much. It’s bad for the baby.” He kissed her on top of the head and turned to walk in the classroom, leaving Bri wondering if a wedge wasn’t truly growing between them.

  Chapter 11

  The first few weeks were difficult, getting used to being expelled from school. Bri had no idea what to do with herself. She cleaned and organized Matt’s room at least three times. She took all of his clothes out of the closet that she hadn’t seen him wear in a while and rewashed them and put them away. She went into the kitchen and did the same thing with the dishes. She pulled them all out of the cabinet and rewashed them so the older ones that hadn’t been used in a while wouldn’t have dust on them if someone went for them.

  Eventually Shaelyn asked why she was still home. So, Bri lied again. She told her that her “fall” at school had actually been a fight that had gotten her suspended for ten days. She laughed and said, “Yeah, well you should see the other girl.” In reality, she didn’t find it funny to joke about what had happened and to lie about it, but Shaelyn seemed pleased with “her girl” as she called her, giving her a pat on the back. She said, “Nobody messes with my girls!”

  As far as Matt was concerned, the last few weeks hadn’t been any different than any other in the last month and a half. He was distant, maybe even managing to be more so. He didn’t much come up to see her anymore and began sleeping on the couch, though every morning she awoke to some Tylenol and a glass of orange juice on the night stand and a fresh towel on the bed.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and took the Tylenol and drank the OJ before getting up to go take a shower. Her clothes were getting much too tight now and she had no idea what to wear. She’d resorted to pajama pants and her hoodie because she couldn’t find much else. She felt bad because Derek, Matt’s father, would be home soon and she wanted to be able to dress nicely to greet him, but she had nothing. Even if she did, it would show off her very rounded belly. How no one had noticed was mindboggling to her, but she didn’t mind.