The Goddess Twins

by Yodassa Williams

  Since this morning, I have felt nothing but horrible. Yes, I’m ashamed that I judged Mother wrongly, but I’m still enraged that she never told us any of this, that she bound our powers for years, that she let me believe lies about her instead of telling me the truth. Arden begged me to stay, and I did, to be good, but it turns out she doesn’t even need me anyway. Her power is the key, so she can find Mother on her own. I am so over trying to be good and feeling horrible about how little I measure up.

  I’m not good. I’m not loveable. Not like Arden, who is more likely to be caught daydreaming with a book than starting an argument, who our family instantly falls in love with completely. I’m not the one whose power is going to save the world. I’m the bad twin—the one who talks too much, who never turns down, who’s a liability when it counts. It’s fine. It’s time I got back to enjoying the best benefit of being bad: doing whatever I want to avoid feeling any hurt.

  Tiffany walks toward us, her friend in tow, and immediately sizes me up. I don’t know how, maybe she just senses through the queen bee cosmos that I’m down, but she asks, “You’re cute, what’s your name?”

  Lilo, of course, butts in before I can even speak to Tiffany. “You don’t talk to my cousin, Fanny. What you need to do is find another bus stop entirely and head there immediately with your tired ass.”

  “Leolidessa? Oh, here I was being polite and speaking to your guest. But I’m sorry, yes, let’s pay attention to you! We all know how you might disappear otherwise.” She winks at me, and I can’t help but chuckle a little. Tiffany is my new favorite thing. “It looks like you’re new in town?” she asks me, and I nod. She glances at me and Arden. “You two should come out raving with us tonight. I’m sure these sods haven’t shown you anything fun.”

  For the first time since I stepped in London, I’m hearing someone talk my language. I take tiny side steps toward Tiffany.

  “Fanny, my cousins aren’t coming to your brother’s trashy club, all right?” Lilo snarls. “Some people have respect for themselves, you see. Not that you know what that’s like, but one day you might get there. Might I suggest a mountain rope?”

  “Ooooh, nice one, Sis!” Liberty fist bumps Lilo. I inch even closer to Tiffany.

  “Our bus is coming up right now anyway, so you don’t need to spend any more energy being hostile or fabricating stories, all right?” The bus starts pulling up as Tiffany flips her hair and gives a final glance to me and Aurora. I see my chance.

  “Do you think I could hang out with you guys for a while?” I ask Tiffany, my back to the cousins and Arden.

  “Of course, I love showing new girls how we party. Let’s go, cutie.” She and her friend turn and start to board. I am right behind them.

  “Rora! Don’t go, please, we need to stay together!” Arden says, stepping up and grabbing my arm.

  I shake her off. “Why?” I ask simply.

  Tears form in her eyes. “What if something happens to you? I don’t like this.”

  “You are free to continue in not liking this. But I am going. Without you.” I know she understands when the tears start falling down her cheeks.

  I nod, acknowledging the intentional stab. There’s this weird thing about making someone feel bad. It sometimes can make you feel better, bigger, more in control of your own stuff than they are. I board the bus, trying my hardest to feel all these things. I avoid looking out the window, focusing on the fun I’m about to have instead. I search through my book bag to upgrade my outfit, and I come upon Arden’s passport, her smiling photo a stark contrast to the tear stained face I just left behind. When Tiffany passes her flask to me, I down the rest of it. It’s time to numb away the pain I keep inflicting on everyone, including myself.

  “Damn, my girl finished it. I guess you needed it, right?” Tiffany asks happily.

  “Yes,” I say gravely. “I needed it.”

  5

  Arden

  NO DOUBT

  I have never doubted my mother’s intense love for me, but I know that Aurora has, nearly every day of her life. We were six and on tour with Mom for La Traviata, in Italy, when Rora, wanting to wear a tutu, begged for us to be put in ballet class. We were only three weeks in when Mom didn’t show up to collect us after our weekly class. Everyone cleared out of the studio, but Aurora and I waited with our instructor Mme. Cleary for nearly two hours. We called Mom millions of times to no avail, and Mme. was muttering to herself in Italian when Rora caught the words for “car accident.” She started panicking, crying that Mom had died on the roads and now we didn’t have anybody. We were orphans. Aurora raced out of the studio down the streets, still in her tutu, and I ran after her, also in mine.

  I finally found her crying and sniffling against the wall of a gelato shop. “Aurora! Why are you crying? Why did you run away?”

  “I just know Mom is dead and we’re all alone!” she said, sobbing hard and gasping for air.

  I sat next to her and held her tightly. “Mom is fine, she’s just super late today, that’s all! Maybe we should go back to the studio. Maybe she is there waiting for us right now, huh?”

  Rora was still crying and hiccupping when we heard a voice behind us, “Are those my girls?!” We turned to find Mother coming out of the shop, dressed gorgeously in white, arm in arm with a handsome man. “I was just coming to get you two when I met Paulo here—why aren’t you at the studio? What time is it?”

  I embraced her, telling her I knew she was coming for us as always. I looked back, expecting to see Aurora’s relief, but instead I saw heartbreak. Paulo offered her one of the ice cream cones in his hand, and in a quick fit, Rora grabbed both and smeared one on Paulo and the other all over Mom’s white dress. She flung her tutu to the ground and took off running, back to the studio, straight into the bathroom, and slammed the door.

  I followed, again. “Aurora, please come out.”

  “No!” she yelled through the door. “I hate her! She doesn’t even care about us! She doesn’t even miss us when we’re not with her!”

  “I … I don’t know what to say, Aurora! I don’t like when you’re hurting, and I’m sorry. I wish today was different. I don’t think she meant to forget us. I do think she loves us both. I really do!” I sat against the door and pressed my head towards the keyhole, hoping Aurora heard my sincerity. “But I’m here. I’m always here for you, and I love you so much. Will you come out, for me? Please?”

  After a few minutes, my sister unlocked the door and threw her arms around my shoulders, holding me tight. “Promise you’ll always be there.”

  “I promise,” I whispered.

  Our tutu days were over, but Rora knew she could always count on me.

  But ever since this morning, there’s been a major shift between us. It’s felt as though she’s threatened by my passion for this quest and my connection with the cousins, like she doesn’t believe I’m here for her at all anymore. I know my twin doesn’t deal well with feeling overlooked. I know her fight-or-flight response is more akin to the scorched-earth theory. So honestly, given everything, Aurora’s ghosting is no surprise. She’s been hugely thrown by all this, so much more than me. To be honest, her reaction is at least a bit my fault, for not being a better sister. I’ve pushed her into this quest without ever really dealing with everything going on under the surface. She was trying to tell me how she felt this morning, and I just insisted we go to Gran.

  I must have seemed dismissive of her and absorbed in the cousins and learning everything they could teach me. I’ve said a dozen times how much I love and need her for all this, but I knew my words just weren’t sinking in. I sigh, thinking of the last thing Mom said, that Aurora and I must stay together. Well, now I feel like a failure as both a sister and daughter. How can I get my family back together now?

  “Where are they going?” I ask, looking down the empty street. “We have to go get Rora back.”

  “Cousin, that’s really in the opposite direction of Kiara’s,” Liberty says from behind me.


  “Shit, Aurora!” I stomp my foot.

  “I’d just like to take a moment to say, I called this,” Lilo says casually.

  I turn to give her an evil eye.

  “Sorry, but I did! Your sis has been anti-everything since the moment you two landed. I know her type. I’ve met so many mean girls, I’m not surprised she ditched us for a shinier option. It’s their M.O.”

  Liberty nods at Lilo’s words but I can only hang my head in sadness. They don’t know Rora. How can they judge her for reacting badly to the worst news of both of our lives?

  “I know you want to go after her, but she so clearly doesn’t want to be a part of this mission,” Liberty says, squeezing my arm. “Maybe she’ll come around eventually, but we really can’t afford the time it would take to follow and beg her to join us right now. It’ll take enough time for you to learn Kiara’s power and locate your mom, and we’re kinda on a time crunch …”

  “Since our grandfather might kill Mom for fun any minute now? Yeah, I got the message clearly from Gran back there.” I sigh again. “Okay, we’ll go to Kiara’s so I can locate Mom and make sure she’s fine, but we need to get Aurora back. Can you try calling that Fanny chick?” I ask Lilo.

  “I don’t have that wench’s number!”

  I give her the evil eye again.

  “But you know what, I’ll reach out to my peeps and get it.” Lilo starts texting as a bus rounds the corner toward us.

  “Okay, Cuz. This is us,” Liberty says, nodding toward the bus.

  I step onto the bus and focus on mentally sending love and safety to both my sister and Mom, wherever they are.

  “COME IN, FAMILY! Come into the warmth! Take off your shoes! Anyone for tea? I have those blueberry scones you love, Lilo. Come in, please.” Kiara’s voice is slightly more British than Jamaican, but a charming blend of both. When I take in her beauty, I have to remind myself to breathe. Her creamy light brown skin is perfection, glowing from within like a copper wire. Her face is a canvas for dramatic features: bright eyes framed by long lashes, high sculpted cheekbones, and a smile so wide and engagingly contagious, I feel my own lips rising in response. Kiara is wearing a simple tie-dyed tank dress with beaded fringe that swivels around her thighs as she walks barefoot around the loft.

  I take off my shoes and jacket in the hallway, trying not to stare at this gorgeous woman. The place is hot like Gran Gran’s house—the thermostat must be set to Tropical Island in both locations. The walls of the hallway are a robin’s egg blue, scattered with colorful Caribbean art. The main room is huge and sectioned clearly, with a bed perched in a nook above the bathroom and the remaining space divided for an office, living room, kitchen, and a mini yoga studio by the window.

  We gather in the light grey living room where Kiara brings us tea and scones on a tray, which Lilo grabs at immediately.

  “I’m so glad to finally meet you, Kiara,” I say wryly, lifting my hair off my neck and fanning myself for a bit of air. “Thank you for having me. Your apartment is so pretty, and it’s definitely warm in more ways than one.”

  “Oh, is it too hot? Let me turn on a fan!” Kiara switches the ceiling fan on and turns down the thermostat from the wall. “Goddesses are weakened by too much cold. I suppose though, I overdo it on the heat, but it makes me feel like I’m back at Gran Gran’s, so … But please, let’s sit and get comfortable!”

  Kiara sits Indian style on a giant pillow across from us on the couch. She radiates confidence and positivity in a way that affects me profoundly. My anxiety and doubt are overcome by her calm presence. I can’t explain why I suddenly feel better, until it clicks. This beautiful young woman is my cousin and a powerful goddess. Maybe it’s the radiation the cousins mentioned, but the way her energy pulls me into her is like being enticed by a warm bath. I am in the presence of a goddess, and my whole essence wants to dip in.

  But you are a goddess, too, Arden. I shake my head at the thought. I still need to prove myself and get my family back before I can fully believe that story.

  “Kiara, we … I need your help to rescue my mom.”

  She smiles and nods. It’s clear from her eyes that she knows already. Gran Gran must have told her why we were coming ages ago, like she did Lilo and Liberty.

  But I still need to ask her officially now. “Please, could you teach me how to travel, to absorb some of your gift to find her?”

  Kiara smiles and repositions herself. “I’m so glad that you are here, Cousin. My heart is open to your needs, and yes, I will do all I can to help you find your mother. Gran briefed me, and we have a plan. We can do this.”

  “Okay,” I say, relieved.

  Kiara smiles and nods. “Your mother’s consciousness is imprinted within you. You’re not able to reach her here and now, but if you focus and concentrate, and get emotionally closer to her, you could mentally zero in and transport to her to get the details on where she is held. Then we’ll come back to our bodies here and rescue her as a group. Our grandfather won’t let her go easily, so it’s best we move in on him as one.” She clicks her tongue and shakes her head in disgust. “This is a horrible thing that our grandfather has done. I have never met him, but I hear he is a terrible man … terrible.”

  “I know!” Lilo exclaims messily, a scone in her mouth. “All of this is scandalous! He put a hit out on his own grandson all those years ago, and then reappears now only to kidnap his daughter! Talk about being an anti-family man, man!”

  “And Gran Gran is so wonderful, it’s like, how did she ever get with someone who could end up becoming so evil like that?!” Liberty says, leaning in from the couch.

  Our family skeletons are now laid out on Kiara’s coffee table, and everyone but me is having fun picking at the bones.

  “Guys?” I cough. “I hate to interrupt this, but my mother’s kinda in danger this very moment, so …” I spin my index finger in the air, politely signaling for them to wrap up the chitchat.

  Kiara catches me and chuckles. “She’s cute,” she says, to Lilo and Lib like I’m not even in the room. “Is she always this cute?”

  “Yeah, she’s super cute, right? The other one’s such a pain; you’re lucky she’s not here,” Lilo supplies, shaking her head in disgust.

  “That’s my twin sister you’re talking trash on!” I punch her in the arm.

  “And? She’s my cousin and a P-A-I-N. I stand by these words coming out of my mouth,” Lilo says, taking a dramatic bow, flipping her purple braids in my face.

  I roll my eyes at her and turn back to Kiara. I need to make her see how important this is to me. I hold her stare and push into her mind all of the worry and concern I have for both Mom and Rora. Please help me help them. Tell me how to space travel, I plead, and her eyes widen as she absorbs my mental signal of distress.

  “Cousin, wow! Nice persuasive technique there! I feel what you feel for them.” She shakes her head, “I love experiencing the incredible talent in our family! Okay, you win, topic shift to space travel for a newbie!” Kiara bounces on the pillow in excitement, then takes a long breath and looks at me all serious. “Warning label, I haven’t mastered all facets of my power yet. I’m currently into some experimental stuff—teleportation and traveling on multiple frequencies to create multiple selves. It’s what’s causing the radioactive hiccups, but I promise we will not do anything too intense, just astral travel, not full on physical spacefaring, and definitely nothing on the exponential level.”

  I nod as if I know what she’s talking about, even though I’m beyond lost.

  “It gets easier and better with practice, but traveling to the astral plane is fully safe for your first time.”

  “Space travel virgin,” Lilo whispers at me.

  Kiara shoos Lilo away toward the kitchen and turns back to me. She gets up and sits on a yoga mat that was laid on the floor and indicates I should sit on her now available cushion. As I move to the seat, she starts explaining the process of transporting to the astral plane.

  “I
t will take a lot of concentration and a buildup of potential energy to become an ethereal body, but it’s not painful. It’s more strenuous than anything, really. Once you separate your body and spirit from one another, you will appear as a phantom and can use your own powers to summon and follow your connection to your mom.”

  I’m trying my best to understand what I need to do, but her words fly past me and I’m lost as hell. My face must be as easy to read as ever because Kiara sighs.

  “You didn’t get that at all did you? Okay, I might not be explaining this well.”

  She looks up, trying to summon the answers from her mind, and I get an idea. “Just think it. Just think about it without trying to find the words,” I tell her.

  She looks skeptically at me, but Liberty nods from her place on the couch. “Trust her; she’s got the weirding way,” she tells Kiara, winking at me, and moving to join Lilo in the kitchen.

  I look into Kiara’s brown eyes and let myself melt into her thoughts. Tell me about astral travel. How can I do it, too? The room darkens around me and yet I am left with an image of Kiara sitting on her yoga mat with her eyes closed. In a moment I hear her voice ringing clearly in my head, though her lips never move.

  The difficulty of entering into any form of space travel comes from separating your mind from your body. The body does not easily release the mind, so you have to visualize pushing yourself mentally from inside out, forcing the disassociation, until you feel your body release your mind. Once that separation happens, you are in the astral plane; your body creates a hologram version of itself to move with your mind. No one will be able to see you; it’s like becoming a ghost of yourself. But I’ll be able to see you in the astral plane when I am there, also.

  I am still visualizing Kiara sitting calmly on the mat, but now I see a transparent spirit version of her slowly begin to escape, and then fly out of her body. You essentially become a phantom in space, she explains. You can float and fly to wherever your mind focuses. We’ll make sure your mind is focused on your mom throughout the whole process. The moment you are astral, we will travel to where your connection to her is pulling you. When you use your mindreading powers, we can get the info we need from her to rescue her. Then it’s the reverse process to re-associate the mind back to your body. The transparent Kiara smiles and bows slightly, then floats back into the sitting Kiara, the two becoming one.