The Goddess Twins

by Yodassa Williams

  My head is spinning from all Gran’s told us, and I nearly choke at how casually she drops the answer to my question. “Wait, you know he’s the one who has Mother? Her own father is trying to kill her, again? Why would he do this?” The table starts quaking, the dishes and glasses rising and spinning in midair, food and drinks flying to the walls. It’s my rage, I realize, but I can’t access the new breathing techniques to control myself.

  Gran Gran’s eyes widen, red-orange, molten lava, but she stays perfectly still.

  The cousins and Arden jump away screaming, but I can barely hear them. I’m overwhelmed by a fevered desire to rip Ezekiel apart. He’s the source of every trauma in my life right now, and I’m beyond playing nice. The doors of the china cabinet across from us fly open, the dishes flinging themselves wildly around the room. Arden and the girls duck underneath the table, pulling the tablecloth down to protect them from the shards.

  “Stop this, Aurora,” Gran Gran whispers to me, her eyes swirling crimson.

  “I can’t,” I whisper back through gritted teeth, my whole body shaking with anger.

  Gran’s eyes tighten, darkening near black as another dish crashes against the wall. She flips my hand on the table, palm upward, and slaps her own into mine. In a flash, the room blackens around me.

  “AURORA. AURORA?”

  I feel someone pinching my arm. I’m startled awake, drool dripping down my chin. “What the hell?!” I sputter, finding the room put back together and the cousins and Arden seated exactly where they had been, each of them looking to me with worry.

  “Precisely,” Gran Gran says. “Did you think you could come into my home, my domain, and act however you want? Throwing the type of toddler goddess tantrum that even Mackenzie has grown out of? I can control every single thing in this house. Everything. Including your powers, from the moment you stepped in the door.”

  My jaw drops, and Gran cocks her head at me, her eyes now a deep lavender.

  “But I shouldn’t need to control your powers, you see. You should be able to. I know it’s new to you, eh, but you’re capable.” She looks at me closely for a moment then chuckles. “Okay, I see now. You just choose to be wild, huh? You think that’s your way, the only way you can be?”

  I stay silent, breathing slowly, conscious of my cold palm still connected with Gran Gran’s. She wraps her fingers around my hand, squeezes it, and warmth and energy flood my body.

  “Let me tell you a story about someone else who chose to stay wild, huh? Brer Anansi was wild. He was a smart and cunning spider. Every one of his animal friends knew never to bet against him because he always found a clever way to win, no matter what. In truth, Brer Anansi didn’t really care who he hurt. He remained wild, even when he married a beautiful female spider named Crooky and even when he had his own son.”

  I look to the others, wondering why Gran Gran is suddenly telling us some children’s story about a spider. But I’ve learned my lesson about interrupting and stay quiet as she continues.

  “Years passed and the land went into a drought. Food was scarce. When Brer Anansi went searching for food he found only two plantains to bring home for himself and his family. His friends said, ‘Okay, you are a husband and a father, the land is in drought, you must abandon your self-centered ways, finally. You must give one plantain to your wife and one to your son.’

  “But Brer Anansi was more cunning than they even knew. He went home and cooked the plantains up nice. He set three plates at the table, but only plated out the two plantains in front of his wife and son. As the family bowed their head for grace, Brer Anansi thanked the heavens for his wife, thanked them for his son, begged for forgiveness for his selfish, wild ways, prayed for the end of the drought, pleaded on behalf of his belly, and finally asked that he make it through the night without starving to death, as he knew the best thing he could do was to go hungry in the face of his wife and son’s hunger. Both Crooky and her son were weeping heavy tears at the prayer by Brer Ananci. Neither hesitated in cutting their own plantain in half and loading a piece onto Brer Ananci’s empty plate.

  “And that’s how even at the height of a drought, Brer Ananci was cunning enough to eat even better than his own wife and son, and how his friends finally learned they should never bet against him winning in the end.”

  Gran Gran’s eyes, once a dark olive tone, now swirl with an electric green. “Ezekiel. Your grandfather. I don’t know how many times he used to tell the children that story. He loves that story. He is that story. A selfish, wild man, determined to use and manipulate whatever, whomever, to keep himself winning. He’s cunning. He uses people and what they love to achieve his aim. It’s those closest to him that are in the most danger of being used in the worst ways. Don’t you see what he’s doing?” Gran Gran’s eyes flash between green and orange.

  I swallow hard and shake my head no.

  “He’s using Selene to get to you two. I don’t know why.” She sighs. “But I know him, and I know there’s more to this than killing your mother. Although he won’t hesitate to do that if it doesn’t look like he’s going to get what he wants.”

  “So, let me get this straight,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear. “It’s a trap. We’re all aware it’s a trap. But you’re sending us into it anyway?”

  “Because otherwise your mother dies.”

  “This is just …” The table begins shaking again, and Gran Gran squints her eyes at me. I take a breath, forcing myself to stay calm. “Why can’t you save her yourself? Or get the Fates to fix this mess? Aren’t you supposed to be powerful enough for that?”

  “Rora!” Arden says, slapping the table.

  “No, she’s right,” Gran Gran says. “I, too, am frustrated that I can’t do more. I pled to save his life so long ago, and the Fates said it was the last time they would intervene in such a way. They know they had a hand in creating the monster that Ezekiel is today, but they won’t step in further. We have to solve this within the family. My only role in this was to wait till you came to me and to tell you all I know. It’s up to you now. I know that Ezekiel lured your mother here under threat to you two. I don’t know why he’s waited till now, or what his bigger plan might be, but I know for certain he is the one who has kidnapped her. It is now up to you both to decide what you want to do with this truth. I hope that you will use it to save Selene.”

  Man, she’s good, I admit with a sigh. Gran is right. My anger at Mother has no roots, given the light of the complete truth. In fact, I don’t truly know my own mother. I never did. She was never here for the opera, but to protect us from a psychotic and murderous grandfather. She has loved and lost more than I could ever have imagined. She must love Arden and me more than I ever gave her credit for, to gladly give herself up to the one person she hates more than anything. This realization twists my stomach in knots, and I feel more villainous than ever. What is wrong with me?

  “We’re going to save her, Gran Gran,” Arden says. “We’ll leave right now for Kiara’s.” Arden and the cousins rise. I start moving, too, and Gran squeezes my hand one final time.

  “Aurora, your sister and your mother need you, just the way you are, always,” Gran Gran says softly.

  I avoid her eyes because inside me, I feel the exact opposite of her words are true. I have been rotting from the inside out. I’ve been hating myself, hating others and holding onto expectations no one can fulfill. Now all I have is unjustified anger and emptiness. Gran thinks they need me, but I can’t be there for Arden or Mother.

  I think of Arden’s words earlier today, and even though she took them back, I now believe them: she and Mother would be better off without me. I don’t have anything good to give either of them. I’ve been so pissed at both of them this whole time, not even giving Mother an ounce of credit or mercy. I’m not what they need, and I don’t want to spoil their lives with my rotten core. Mother deserves so much better. I’m absolutely horrible. She probably won’t even want to look at me when she hears how I’ve been act
ing since she left us in Ohio. Wild. Self-centered. We’re so alike, I bet Grandfather Ezekiel threw wild house parties, too.

  We are making our goodbyes to Gran when Mackenzie reappears with her laptop, demanding we stay for just two more seconds. She has crafted a video dedicated to her love of Lilo as her cat. The hilariously adorable video features photos of Lilo in horrible costumes, hugged up by Mackenzie, who sings a voice-over chorus.

  “Lilo’s my cat/slim and not fat/dressed like a rat/Lilo’s all that.”

  Gran, the cousins, and Arden are in hysterics while Mackenzie floats happily around the room hugging everyone, including me. All I can do is smile wanly. I need to get away from all these good, loving people before I ruin them.

  We open the door, and I am surprised that it’s nearly dusk.

  “It didn’t feel like we spent all day in there … but apparently we did?” I say to Lilo and Liberty as we walk to the bus stop to catch the first of many transfers to South London.

  “Oh yeah. So … coming to see Gran always takes longer than it feels like it does. It takes a while for her to commune with the Fates, but she’s able to fold time while she’s awaiting the message, so it doesn’t feel as long as it takes to get a reading from her. That’s why she decided to move to London decades ago. She finds it easier to fold time here.”

  I’m really not sure I understand this, but I find myself lacking enough care to ask any follow up questions. I’m hungry and irritated and jet-lagged, and I don’t know who my own mother is, and my sister deserves to be a goddess, but I clearly don’t, because I’m pretty sure I’m the evil twin. We arrive at the bus stop, weeds growing up through cracks in the sidewalk. I begin picking at my cuticles while Liberty tells us all she knows about Kiara.

  “Kiara’s really beautiful and super brilliant. She’s Mackenzie’s older sister. Their mother is our Aunt Victoria in Jamaica. She sent her girls here to go to school and learn from Gran,” Liberty says, but I can tell there is more to the story.

  “So why doesn’t Kiara just live with Gran and Mackenzie here?” Arden asks, and I nod in agreement; if she lived here now, we wouldn’t have to wait on the bus.

  “Um, so I would never call anyone in our family weird. Let’s just say Kiara’s eccentric, or at least her powers are,” Liberty says with careful tact.

  “It’s only since Mackenzie was born, her powers just got …” Lilo closes her mouth at Liberty’s look.

  “Oh yeah, the exponential sister power thing,” Arden says.

  “Yeah. Kiara was fifteen when Mackenzie was born. As a teen, her powers were still developing, you know, and then Mackenzie … well, you saw her, she’s a goddess prodigy and she has so many abilities and such control at six years old! So anyway, when she was born, Kiara’s main talent got, well, kinda out of hand, let’s say. Yeah. Out of hand. That’s a good way to put it.”

  Continuing to pick at my cuticles, I rip back the skin and watch blood seep around my thumb. I look up at Liberty, “What do you mean out of hand? I don’t get why she can’t live with Gran and her own sister.” I have a really bad feeling about this new relative we have been sent to meet.

  “So, okay, don’t freak out, Cuz, but it’s like she lives on multiple physical planes at once and can travel instantly through space. Also, sometimes she emits low level radioactive charges that she can’t help, and it turns out that with extended exposure she can be damaging to developing children, well, developing goddess children. I’m more than positive she’s okay around mortal kids. It was just no bueno with all the powers growing and mixing and spiking. Anyway, that’s why she lives apart from Mackenzie and Gran in the south.”

  “What the absolute hell?!” I yelp. “She’s radioactive?! Why are we going to hang out with her?”

  “Because she’s the next step in finding Mom, remember?” Arden pokes my arm, and I slap her hand away.

  “And how do you know Kiara will even be home?” I continue with a grunt. “How does someone who accidentally space travels live in South London?” I stomp on a dandelion, angry that no one is appropriately reacting to the madness of this situation but me.

  “Kiara astronomically projects herself from one plane to the next,” Liberty says, making shapes with her hands. “There’s something about the place in South London though. It’s like it’s on a fault line or something. Anyway, at least one of her selves is always at home. Gran said she’ll call her to tell her we’re on the way.”

  Liberty’s words do nothing to my ease my anxiety and irritation.

  “It’s going to be okay, Rora. We’re going to get to Mom. We just have to keep following this yellow brick road,” Arden says.

  I shake my head, rejecting her forced brightness. I pull her arm, leading her to the far side of the bus stop, away from the cousins. “It’s literally impossible for this family to get any more bizarre or more dangerous. Seriously! Ar, can we please just leave them now?” I’m shaking with poorly controlled anxiety.

  “Are you serious? We can’t leave now! They know how to get to Aunt Kiara, and she’s the next step to getting to Mom. You heard Gran Gran—this is our mission!” Arden looks at my fingers. “Are you bleeding? Rora! Are you picking at your cuticles again?!”

  “Just shut up about that!” I scream, stuffing my hands in my pockets. Lilo dances over to us and I have to squeeze my hands to my sides to keep from shoving her away.

  “Is everything alright twinsies? I know things got pretty major back there. Apparently, you had a big brother! Let’s discuss, how do we feel about that?”

  “Lilo, can you please just let my sister and me talk for a minute? That’d be, like, so super great if you could back off for once, pretty please?”

  “Extra sharp cheddar cheese, can my sis and I talk, pretty please?” Lilo sings while dancing away.

  Involuntarily I roll my eyes, then I take a deep breath before turning back to Arden. “Look, do you really believe a radioactive schizophrenic is going to help us win back Mother? Arden, this is bat shit bananas. Every bit of it. We need to leave, and right now.”

  “No, honestly, it’s going to work, Rora! I’ll just need to learn some of Kiara’s space travel power and combine it with my mental connection to Mom and locate her mind. Then we can go save her from our evil granddad.”

  “Wow, okay, yeah, you’ve got it all planned out. Can you even hear yourself? Can you hear me? It’s like you don’t even need me,” I say flatly.

  “Of course, I need you!” Arden opens her mouth to say more, but she’s drowned out by the cousins behind us.

  “Oh no, Lilo, your xerox machine is coming this way!” Liberty screeches.

  “Goddess alive, why does Fanny always find me no matter where I am?” Lilo throws her hands in the air. “It’s like she can smell how much I hate her! I hate her so much it’s like a full-time job. It completes me.”

  “I hate her so much I’ve been trying to develop the ability to make people disappear, just so I can use my powers exclusively on her,” Liberty says.

  “I hate her so much that I once had a dream I pulled out her fingernails with pliers. But then I woke up … and I hated her even more for making me torture her in my subconscious,” Lilo counters.

  “Damn, Lilo. That one went dark,” Liberty chides. They both laugh.

  “Who are you talking shit about so hard?” I ask.

  Liberty gestures to two girls walking our way. “The one in the pink. Her name is Tiffany, but she’s always up under Lilo’s butt, so we just call her Fanny.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s a serial copycat. If Lilo has a cold, Fanny’ll go get influenza and say she invented being sick,” Liberty says as a matter of fact. “But beyond that, she’s rude, manipulative, and so jealous of Lilo and me it verges on obsession.”

  “She snogged my last girlfriend just to eff up our relationship!” Lilo snorts. “Not that I care or even remember that that happened.”

  “But why are you guys hating on her?” I question. �
�Maybe she just liked her, too.”

  Lib and Lilo look at me like I’ve grown a tree out the side of my neck.

  “No, Cousin. No,” Liberty says, shaking her head.

  “Listen, if there was a reality show for the most hating hater ever, they could save money on production and casting and just give her the grand prize. Because that bitch is a hay-ter.” Lilo’s eyes are on Fanny’s hot pink clubbing outfit. “At least they’ll be taking a different bus than we are for the clubs … and, I wore that exact dress in black three weeks ago. She knows she knows.”

  “She totally knows,” Liberty says, clicking her tongue. “She looks horrible in it.”

  I turn away from Lilo and Lib’s hatefest to take in Fanny—no, Tiffany—and her friend as they near our corner. Both girls are hot and super done up. High heels, skintight dresses, makeup and hair—a night on the town is going down, and I find myself in my own hatefest. Today has made me feel so old, but I want so badly to feel almost eighteen again. I want to go dancing. I want to kiss a cute boy. I want the stress of truth and reality to give way to pounding music and pulsing bass. I want to join them and forget about this family of liars and protectors and murderers and goddesses I have been told is mine.