Monstrous Maud: Spooky Sports Day

by A. B. Saddlewick

  Maud had been counting on Wilf’s brother Warren at least to win a medal in the hundred-metres sprint, but he’d been distracted by a passing squirrel and run off in the wrong direction, barking loudly and scaring several of the Primrose Towers parents.

  The only Rotwood pupil who had won anything was Penelope, who’d come first in the egg-and-spoon race. But Maud had seen her casting a spell to stick the egg and spoon together, so that didn’t really count.

  Maud and Paprika wandered back to the space behind the school buses where the Rotwood pupils were gathered. It was the only place they could be out of sight of all the humans, so they could fix their disguises and get treated by the school nurse, Mr Quasimodo’s wife, a seven-foot ogre named Samantha.

  The nurse grunted and took a moment to wipe the sweat from her green brow. It had been a very busy day for her. First she’d had to bandage up Martin, a mummy from Class 2C whose wrapping had come undone during the three-legged race. Then a demon from 4C called Roger had tripped over his tail in the backwards-running race and bruised one of his wings. Now she was sewing Frank Stein’s hand back on after it had fallen off in the tug of war.

  “You must tell your father to sew your body parts more carefully,” said Mr Galahad to Frank. “It’s no use him boasting about how he’s created human life in his lab if he doesn’t pay attention to detail.”

  “This hasn’t exactly been monstrous for us,” Maud said to Paprika. “We’ve only won one medal so far.”

  “I should have won one,” said a voice that must have been Invisible Isabel. “I came first in the high jump, but nobody even noticed.”

  “Gather round, children,” announced Mrs Fennel on her megaphone. “The final and most important event is about to commence.”

  Oh well, thought Maud, at least there’s one last chance for Rotwood to win a medal. Although, whoever won, it definitely wouldn’t be Paprika. As she walked back across the playing fields, she spotted Mrs Von Bat glaring angrily at her son from the crowd. It looked as if he was going to be in serious trouble when he got home.

  The pupils gathered in front of Mrs Fennel as she lifted her megaphone again. “I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve had a wonderful day. I’d particularly like to congratulate my little Primrose petals for winning all the medals.” She had clearly forgotten about Poisonous Penelope’s egg-and-spoon triumph.

  “Three cheers for Primrose Towers,” shouted Milly.

  “Hip-hip, hooray!” shouted all the Primrose Towers girls.

  “Three howls for Rotwood,” yelled Maud, but the monsters were all too exhausted and disappointed to join in.

  “Now to our final event,” said Mrs Fennel. “And I’m sure you’ll agree that this is the most exciting one of all – the obstacle course!”

  The Primrose girls cheered again, and Mrs Fennel pointed to the far side of the playing field. There were nets, a line of balloons and a paddling pool with a wooden plank across it, and then the course continued into Primrose Woods, the trees to one side of the school.

  For the first time that day, Maud thought things were starting to look up. Surely the Rotwood students could win this one? This course had no slime, no slugs and no snakes. There weren’t even any hungry swamp beasts.

  “I need three pupils from each school for this event,” said Mrs Fennel. “Now gather round, Primrose petals, and I’ll tell you who I’ve chosen.”

  As the Primrose Towers girls huddled around Mrs Fennel, the Rotwood pupils crowded around Mr Galahad to see which of them he’d pick. He considered them one by one, sometimes looking as if he was about to select someone, but then shaking his head and sighing.

  “It might as well be you, Penelope,” he said at last. “You’re the only one who’s won a medal so far. You can choose the others if you like.”

  “Thanks, Sir,” said Penelope. “Let me see ...”

  Maud was convinced she’d choose Wilf and Warren. The Primrose Towers obstacle course didn’t look as if it would be problem for either of them.

  “I choose ...” said Penelope, “... Maud and Paprika.”

  Wilf yelped with disappointment.

  Why has she chosen us? Maud wondered. You could bet your eyeballs she hadn’t picked her two least favourite classmates out of the goodness of her heart. She was planning something, for sure.

  As Maud stepped up to the starting line of the obstacle course, she saw the three Primrose Towers pupils that Mrs Fennel had chosen: Suzie Singh, Amanda Derrington and, worst of all, Milly. Now she needed to win more than ever. She’d never hear the end of it if her twin sister beat her.

  “On your marks ...” bellowed Mrs Fennel, through her megaphone. “Get set ... Go!”

  The six pupils raced to the nets and got down on their hands and knees to crawl under them. As Maud struggled through hers, she saw that Penelope and all the Primrose Towers girls were already on to the balloons. Behind her, Paprika had got his cape tangled in the net and was still fumbling about underneath it. Maud considered waiting for him to keep him company, but she couldn’t let the others get too far ahead. She couldn’t let Penelope or Milly have the satisfaction of winning.

  She raced to the pink balloons and stamped on them one by one. Next to her, Penelope hung back, eyeing the balloons suspiciously. They were covered in pictures of teddies, rainbows and fairy castles – no wonder the witch was hesitating. For a moment, Maud’s heart leapt–this would slow Penelope down! – but the witch just waved her hand, and every single one of her balloons burst at once.

  “That’s not fair!” Maud cried.

  “Diddums,” Penelope replied, dashing off.

  By the time Maud had finished popping her balloons and was tiptoeing across the plank over the paddling pool, Penelope and the Primrose Towers girls were racing off into the woods. Maud leapt off the end of the plank, desperate to keep up.

  Unlike the gloomy forest surrounding Rotwood, Primrose Wood was light and open, with tall pines and oak trees dotted around gentle slopes, and bright glades filled with bluebells and foxgloves.

  Penelope was inching ahead of everyone now. She looked back, as if checking that they were out of sight of the teachers. She reached into the pocket of her dress, took out a handful of bright red seeds and threw them behind her.

  Maud recognised those seeds – they were from the Rotwood greenhouse! As soon as the seeds hit the ground, a tangle of green vines exploded up from them, and an angry red flower opened and chomped at the air.

  Suzie Singh was heading right towards it. She tried to swerve out of the way, but it was no use. The jaws of the flower snapped shut around her ankle, tripping her up. She screamed and flailed her arms and legs about, but the plant held fast. There was no way she was getting free from that for a good while; she was out of the race.

  Now Maud understood why Penelope had chosen her worst enemies to race alongside her. She was planning to humiliate them all!

  Penelope careered in front of Amanda Derrington and dropped some small white seeds. Huge grey mushrooms with red splodges shot up from the ground, directly under Amanda. One lifted her up into the air and kept on growing until it was as tall as a tree, leaving her clinging desperately to the cap of the fungus and wailing as it swayed backwards and forwards.

  Maud’s sister raced on, trying to overtake Penelope, while Maud kept a safe distance. Seeing the Primrose Towers girl gaining on her, Penelope scattered large handfuls of yellow seeds behind her. Green plants that looked like school-dinner cabbages spread rapidly across the ground, completely blocking the path.

  Milly stopped in front of the rancid greenery, holding her nose to protect herself from its eggy smell. Maud held her nose too, but waded through, hoping she wouldn’t slip over into the stinky leaves.

  As soon as Maud was through, she sped up again. Penelope had disappeared around a corner. Maud looked back and saw that Milly was still trapped behind the cabbage, stamping her feet with frustration.

  So it’s between me and Penelope now, Maud thought. That
meant that whatever happened, Rotwood would win the medal. But it wouldn’t mean anything if Penelope won it by cheating.

  The next section of the obstacle course was a rope tied between two trees. Maud struggled up the ladder and began to swing along the rope, hand over hand. But Penelope wasn’t ahead of her. Maud glanced down, and saw that the witch had ignored the rope, and was running off to the side of the course, towards a holly bush.

  “You have to complete all the obstacles,” shouted Maud. “It doesn’t count if you just run to the end of the course.”

  “I’m not going to run,” replied Penelope with a grin.

  Penelope felt around underneath the bush and pulled something out. Maud couldn’t believe it. It was her broomstick! Penelope must have stashed it there earlier. Not content with eliminating everyone else from the race with seeds stolen from Mr Quasimodo, she was now planning to fly through the rest of the woods.

  Maud was so angry, she almost fell off the rope, but she forced herself to cling on and get to the end before climbing down. Even if Penelope was cheating, Maud wasn’t going to follow her example. She leapt towards Penelope and caught up with her just as her broom was taking off. Maud grabbed the broom’s bristles.

  The stick shot up into the air, but Maud clung on. They swooped over a line of tyres, which they were supposed to be stepping through.

  “Let go, you stupid Tutu,” shouted Penelope. She veered from side to side to try and shake Maud off, but Maud held on tight with both hands. Penelope steered close to a row of pine trees, but Maud managed to swing out of the way of each one as it approached.

  Penelope tried swooping low over holly bushes. Maud swung her feet up and wrapped them around the broomstick, close to where Penelope was sitting. This was proving to be even tougher than the Rotwood obstacle course!

  And then, out in front of them, a tiny grey bunny rabbit hopped on to the path. It looked up at them, nose quivering.

  Penelope let out a screech of fear and steered violently sideways. She smacked right into the branch of an oak tree, let go of the broom and somersaulted into a pool of mud. Maud let go of the driverless broom, just avoiding the mud and tumbling into a pile of leaves instead.

  Maud stood up, brushing leaves from her hair, and looked around. Penelope was still flat on her back. Oh dear! Was she hurt?

  Penelope groaned and stirred. “Penelope?” Maud asked, rushing over. “Are you all right?” She held out her hand.

  Penelope’s arm shot up, grabbed Maud and pulled her down into the mud. Maud scrabbled around, stood, then slipped over again. By the time she’d got up and steadied herself, Penelope had disappeared into the woods. Furious, Maud tried to chase after her. But it was no good. She didn’t even know which direction to go in.

  After running for a while, she spotted the course of tyres, and followed them until she got to the edge of the trees. She was gasping for breath, fighting the stitch in her stomach.

  Maud finally reached the end of Primrose Woods. As she looked across the playing field her heart sank. Penelope was ahead of her, just a few feet from the end of the course. Parents of both schools were cheering.

  Maud pushed herself on in a last desperate bid to win, but it was no use. Penelope crossed the finish line and threw her muddy arms into the air in celebration.

  “I win! I win!” she shouted, pointing a dirty finger at Maud, as she struggled to the end of the course. “The medal is mine!”

  But something didn’t make sense. Among the cheering crowds, no one was looking at Maud or Penelope. They were focused on something else – or someone – just beyond the witch. A huge grin spread across Maud’s face. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” she said.

  Penelope turned round and let out a cry of horror. Lying flat on the ground with exhaustion ... was Paprika.

  Maud rushed over and lifted up one of the half-vampire’s arms in triumph. While she and Penelope had been struggling with the broomstick, Paprika must have been finishing the course. He’d done it! The Rotwood pupils cheered even louder.

  With what little breath she had left, Maud joined in.

  Paprika blushed with pride as he stepped up to collect his gold medal from Mrs Fennel. All around him, Rotwood pupils were cheering and giving each other high-fives, except for Zombie Zak, who could only do a high-four because his index finger had fallen off.

  Maud glanced over at Mrs Von Bat, who was standing at the sidelines. She didn’t look happy, exactly, but at least she didn’t look angry any more. That must have been pretty good by her standards.

  The Rotwood pupils hoisted Paprika above their heads in celebration. Penelope held up her egg-and-spoon medal and cheered for herself, but nobody paid her any attention.

  Maud’s sister Milly stumbled out of the forest at last, along with Suzie and Amanda, and headed straight for Mrs Fennel to protest.

  “She trapped me with rotten cabbage!” sobbed Milly.

  “She marooned me on a giant mushroom!” whined Amanda.

  “A plant tried to eat me!” complained Suzie. “That cheating Rotwood girl is even more monstrous than Maud!”

  Mrs Fennel raised a hand to make them stop. “Now, now, girls,” she said. “That’s not the Primrose Towers way. You must learn to accept defeat graciously. Though you wouldn’t have to accept it at all if you spent more time training and less time making up silly stories.”

  Leaving them to their frantic protests, she turned to address the crowd again through her megaphone. “And now for our grand prize,” she said. “As promised, the pupil who I believe has performed most exceptionally today will win a ride to Buttercup Farm on Prancer the Shetland pony. So let’s have a round of applause for Farmer Gilbert and Prancer!”

  A fat man with a quilted green jacket and long sideburns stepped through the crowd, leading an adorable chestnut pony that was so small it barely came up to his waist. The pony neighed and tossed its thick blond hair aside.

  The Primrose Towers girls cooed with excitement when they saw Prancer, but the Rotwood pupils winced with fright.

  “I can now reveal that the prize goes to ...”

  Mrs Fennel looked around while the Primrose Towers girls closed their eyes and crossed their fingers.

  “... the winner of the obstacle course, Vladimir Paprika Wellington Counterweight Von Bat! I’m sure you’ll all join me in giving him a round of applause.”

  The Primrose Towers girls tutted and folded their arms, while Paprika gulped with fear. In the background, Maud could just make out the familiar sound of Poisonous Penelope sniggering.

  “Well done, lad,” said Farmer Gilbert, leading the pony over to Paprika. “Step closer, she won’t bite. She might give you a big snuggly kiss, though. She’s a very affectionate creature.”

  Paprika inched towards Prancer, trembling.

  Maud needed to act fast if she was going to save her friend from his horrible fate. She ran up to Mrs Fennel. “Excuse me, Miss,” she said. “Could I borrow your megaphone?”

  “I’m not sure about that,” said Mrs Fennel, doubtfully.

  “I promise I won’t say anything bad.”

  “Hmm. Well, all right then.” She handed it over. “Does your friend want to give an acceptance speech?”

  “Um ... yes, something like that,” said Maud.

  Maud lifted up the megaphone and said, “Could I please have your attention for a minute?”

  The Rotwood pupils and Primrose Towers girls turned to look at her.

  “I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve had a lovely day,” said Maud.

  “I haven’t,” said Milly. “Thanks to you Rotwood cheats.”

  “But let’s remember that sports day isn’t about winning or losing,” said Maud, hastily. “It’s about coming together and having a great time.”

  “And cheating, if you’re from Rotwood!” muttered Suzie Singh.

  “That’s why I don’t think the grand prize should go to the winner of the obstacle course,” Maud carried on, doing her best to
ignore the Primrose Towers girls.

  “Oh, she’s going to try and steal the prize for herself,” said Milly, rolling her eyes. “What a surprise!”

  “I believe the prize should go to the unsung hero of the day,” said Maud. “Without her, none of this would have been possible. This person had the idea of holding the Rotwood sports day at Primrose Towers in the first place. I’m talking, of course, about my friend, Penelope.” Maud smiled sweetly as she handed the megaphone back to Mrs Fennel. Penelope went pale and shook her head – but Mrs Fennel didn’t notice.

  “Well,” said the headmistress, sounding a little surprised. “That certainly is a lovely idea. “But what about poor Vladimir? We’ve already awarded him the prize.”

  “Oh, I don’t mind,” Paprika spoke up, turning to scamper away from Prancer. “I don’t mind at all.”

  “Well, that settles it then,” said Mrs Fennel. “The grand prize goes to Penelope!”

  Maud, Paprika and Wilf burst into applause, and the rest of the Rotwood pupils joined in.

  “No, no, I can’t accept this,” said Penelope, backing away. “I don’t deserve this.”

  “Oh, you deserve it,” said Maud. “It’s exactly what you deserve.”

  Farmer Gilbert guided the pony over, put a pink riding helmet on to Penelope’s head and lifted her up. “Try not to struggle, lass,” he said, as he settled her on the pony and fixed her feet into the stirrups. “You don’t want to startle Prancer.” He stood back. “There you go. Pretty as a picture. All the baby animals at Buttercup Farm are going to love you.”

  Penelope, too terrified to even mutter a spell, squealed with fear as Farmer Gilbert led her away on Prancer.

  Maud went over to the side of the playing field to see her parents.

  “That was a very kind thing you did for your friend Penelope,” said Mrs Montague.