Liberty Ranch

by Temperance Johnson

  "Why on earth not?" Susan asked.

  Gloria spoke up for this one. She was curled in a chair, her knees pulled up, comfortable in the house she spent many years living in. “When you have your own child, we don’t want the adopted child to get put aside because some parents can't afford both. I was in a home where my stepfather didn't want me after my mamma died. He wanted his real child.”

  Susan looked at her sadly. Out of all the adults in the room, Susan was the only one to grow up in a normal two-parent home. Susan started out gently. "We would still want to adopt her."

  Cole nodded. "Since you are family, I will bend my rules." He smiled. "I don't mean to be imperious, but when you have so many children under your care, you learn not to bend rules often. If you do, then other people will try to swindle their way in. Give it a couple weeks, then we can sign the adoption papers. It doesn’t matter to the asylum but it does matter to the child. We always put the adoption in the family Bible.” His jaw went hard. "If the asylum wants the children back, papers don't matter, but like I said, it doesn't happen often. The owners shouldn’t come after Mary."

  "Thank you, Cole." Matt stood up, breaking up the party, for the hour was late. He hugged Julia. "Thank you for findin’ us our daughter, Julia." He kissed her cheek.

  Susan went to hug Julia. "I am sorry if I am rushed about this. I am just trying to understand it all."

  Julia smiled. "We can learn together. Being married to Cole helps me. He knows the system like the back of his hand." She leaned close. "You have Matt too. He is wise and has been there."

  "Thank you, Jules." Susan then took the baby girl to her new home and to their future together. Julia sent a prayer to the new family and for her new added family member.

  SUSAN HAD THOUGHT HAVING a baby wouldn’t be so hard, but Mary was proving her wrong. She took a bottle and only that, but would cry and scream until Susan put her on the couch or her bed. Every time she would hold the baby, her back would be straight as a board and she would try to pull away from any kind of touch. Feeding her baby food would end with more food on Susan than in the child's mouth. She liked baths but still never played or smiled. She just screamed or acted like a statue. It was heartbreaking. When Mary threw food at her again,. Susan fed Mary a bottle and put her down for a nap, then sat crying in the parlor.

  Matt found her that way. He sat beside her and took her in his arms. "Susan, honey, what is wrong?"

  "I am a terrible mother," she cried. "I can't get her to eat and I'm afraid she is losing weight. She hates me and it's only been a couple of days."

  He picked her up and placed her in his lap. "Susan, it's only been a couple of days, give it time." He wiped her tears with his handkerchief. "Have a good cry, and if you are that worried, go to Julia's."

  She stiffened. "Just run to your sister if something goes bad. She can fix everything, but I don't see it that way. She and Cole don't think I can parent."

  "That is not true, Sue, and you know it, too. They wanted us to know what we are getting into with adopting." He paused. "Go to Julia, she will help you."

  She looked away. "I don't know. She might judge me for being a terrible mom."

  He pulled her face to his. "Julia would never do that. You can trust her."

  Susan wasn't so sure about that.

  SUSAN FINALLY AGREED and headed to Julia's house three days later. Matt had planned to come for supper. The family always did that, dropped in for lunch or supper, there was always enough to go around. She was holding Mary to her chest as she lay there not moving or relaxing. Just unhappy empty eyes showed through.

  She knocked on Julia's door, though most of the family just walked in and out. Susan had lived in this cabin for two months before she married Matt, but she still got nervous.

  Charity came to the door holding the rope of her pony. "Why are you knocking, Susan?"

  She just smiled and walked in, heading to the kitchen where she knew Julia would be. There she was, her arms, hair, and face covered in flour, as was the floor, the counter, and David, who was sitting at the table pouting. "I was going to ask why there is a horse in your house, but I'll ask why there is flour everywhere?"

  Julia looked discouraged. "Someone had a poor attitude this morning, and he is paying for it now."

  Susan nodded. "Would you like some help, Julia?"

  Julia gave her a look like she thought she’d never ask. "That would be great. You can put Mary in that basket. Is she ready for a nap?"

  "Yeah, she just ate a little." She held up a bottle. "I brought this too."

  Julia said lightly, "She is demanding when it comes to eating."

  Susan laid her in the basket. It was lined in blankets. "No, she doesn't cry when she is hungry, just when I am holding her or trying to comfort her." She turned to get some water to boil.

  Julia looked concerned. "It has been that rough."

  Susan nodded. "I never realized. It has been one battle after another." Susan told her all she had been dealing with.

  Julia nodded. "Give it time. It has hardly been a couple of weeks." She gave her a knowing look. "I keep telling myself that."

  "Why would a child act like this?" Susan sighed.

  Julia tried to save as much flour as she could without it being dirty. From the look of it they would have to throw out most of it. "Well, she is scared for one and has never had a kind touch. She doesn't know how to deal with it so she just lets it out in anger, and even hatred it seems like, but it is fear behind those emotions." Julia started washing the floor. "Just love her and it will be enough, but it might go on for years."

  Susan's mouth dropped open. "If I love my child for years, it might not help. She might act this like forever."

  Julia looked at the children who were helping clean. "Can y'all run outside for a moment? I'll call David in to clean up the floor, but for now, go do your chores?" She looked at the older boys. "Can you boys help David clean up his clothes, and don't use a lot of water or it will clump."

  They both nodded and headed out.

  Charity called to Firefly, the pony obeyed, and they walked off together. She muttered about something like a sunflower liked the flour.

  Julia smiled at the two, then turned back to Susan. " Since the day we heard about our children or met them, we have loved them and wanted the best for them. We want our children to reach the sky. And they can do it, but it won't be easy. It has to be their choice when they are older on how to handle life."

  "Why don't they heal? Why doesn't God heal them?" Susan cried.

  Julia looked at the floor full of flour. "My son has spilled almost four cups of flour all over the floor, himself, and me. I can and will clean this up with his help, but it will probably be in the cracks, the seams. With work and more work we can get it clean, but it will still be there just like our children's scars. Mary might be a baby, but she still has never had a mother's love or care. It leaves a big hole in their heart that only God can fill, but it may still have cracks."

  Susan nodded. Point covered. "Thank you, Jules."

  Julia looked at her. "For what?"

  "Not judging me for not knowing all this," Susan admitted.

  Julia hugged her. "Well, how could I judge you when you are a great and loving parent? If you weren't, you wouldn't come to me about this."

  Susan smiled. "I do love her. She is so beautiful. I like to think she looks for me when I walk into a room and to think I see her smile." Susan wiped her eyes. "Good thing I have a big imagination."

  Julia hugged her again. "I know how it is. You want to see them happy and not so afraid." She wiped at her own tears. “It's harder than you ever thought.”

  They were still hugging and wiping at tears when Charity walked back in with Firefly. "Julia, Firefly loves the flour. She wanted to come back to eat some more. At least she is cleaning it." She walked Firefly over to the flour and the pony began to eat.

  Julia and Susan looked at each other and burst into laughter. They had more tears coming do
wn their cheeks as they laughed. Charity laughed with them, not being offended at all. "Well, it is true; I am not bluffing, Susan, Julia."

  They laughed all the harder. Some days you just have to laugh or you will end up in tears. Life with these children was never boring, that was for sure.

  IZZY HADN'T SLEPT WELL and now she was waking up in the barn loft. She hadn’t wanted to sleep inside because she would wake up screaming in terror. She was dreaming of going into the night with Cole doing a rescue. She hated when the nightmares got that bad and she wanted to just forget it all. After getting ready for the day, Izzy walked to the house, and entered the kitchen. The soft voices brought peace to her.

  The kitchen smelled of sweet rolls, which reminded Izzy of when she went home to her aunt’s cooking. However, it wasn’t just the food, Izzy also felt safe with her aunt. She never got hit there.

  They sat down for breakfast and the boys came in from chores outside. Watching them all mess around the kitchen laughing and talking all at once felt like being home. Annie and Gloria fit in like they had always been there. Izzy enjoyed it, though she still wanted to go away. As they sipped their coffee at the end of the meal, Izzy said, "I'm heading out today to Jesse's cabin. We need to cover details like the cattle he wants to buy and getting the land ready for them."

  Francesca looked at her. "Do you have to leave?"

  Izzy sighed. "It might be easier for me not to be here all the time because I will be married soon." When she saw Francesca worry, she added, "I will visit. If I leave early in the morning, I will be here for supper, so I will be back in the spring through the fall till it gets too cold to move." She made a face and Francesca smiled, her head still lowered.

  Andrew looked at her. “You think you will be alright making that long trip?”

  Izzy rolled her eyes. “I have been farther by myself.”

  Andrew just nodded. “Be careful.”

  “I always am.” Izzy said.

  As they cleaned up, the men left to look over the land and make plans.

  In the kitchen, Annie tried to not look miffed about this change. She finally said, "Why do you have to leave now? We just got here."

  Francesca said under her breath, "Why do ya think she is leavin’."

  Izzy looked at her hard like she’d have her hide if she said another word. She shrugged. "I need to get stuff down before winter starts, and we need to talk about those things."

  "It's burning hot out right now and you are talking about winter."

  Izzy turned her back to her while she got food together, trying to remember what Jesse had brought. "Winter comes early here especially in the mountains. You got married without me knowing. Why should you care if I leave or not?"

  Annie gasped. "I thought you were happy I got married."

  Izzy shrugged. "I am." Her eyes darkened. "How did Cole and Julia react to not being at the wedding?"

  Annie smiled. "They were happy for us like I thought you would be."

  Izzy looked to Gloria and signed, “Answer me honestly, did Julia handle it well?”

  Gloria looked uncomfortable but looked Izzy in the eyes. "It hurt Julia,” she signed and gave her a sad smile that said she’d known Izzy would be hurt too.

  Annie looked at Gloria. "Don't talk when I can't understand you. It's rude, Gloria."

  Izzy just shrugged and put her stuff in the bag. "You should have learned it."

  "Why? You and Cole were never around long enough to teach it. You were off saving the world," Annie snapped.

  Izzy looked at Francesca, then hard at Annie. "We stayed home when we could, but we had to help others and not sit back in that wayward town."

  "Even if it cost you..." Annie didn't finish.

  Izzy glared while keeping her voice even. "Yes, I would do it again and again." She glanced at the girls who just stared at them, showing no emotion.

  Looking at Francesca, Izzy’s heart stung. She couldn't handle this anymore — it was too much. Walking out, she shut the screen door behind her.

  She stopped when she heard Francesca shout at Annie, "You have no right to say that to your sister. She is the most wonderful woman I have ever met. She would do anything for anyone and you know what? She even loves you, though I do not understand why."

  Katrina stepped in, "Francesca, stop. This is between Annie and Izzy. If you would like to say something to Annie, do it respectfully."

  Francesca must have been livid. "Ma, you don't understand. I know what Izzy has to live with every day! But at least I don't get family rejecting me yet.” She swore at Annie. “I am sure glad Cole is a better siblin’ than you. She talks about him and all he has done, but she has mentioned you like twice. I know why now."

  Izzy started walking when she heard Francesca slam the door behind her. She shouldn't have gotten angry. It was bad for the girls. But at least they knew the family wasn't perfect, which she was sure they had thought before.

  She saddled Phoenix, deciding it would be faster on just one horse.

  Francesca walked up behind her, then started helping without saying anything.

  Exhausted although it was still morning, Izzy spoke softly, “I started going into brothels, villages, cat houses, and anywhere there might be a slave. Then Cole and I would buy them or steal them from their abuser. We did it all over Texas and the West. I felt good doing it, like I was making something good out of the mess my grandparents caused, but we got cocky and sloppy. We bought women from a man known as Cutty. We planned to go into hiding after this, but Cole wanted to do another rescue first. My cousin agreed and of course I never said no. However, I had a bad feeling about it...” Izzy put her hand on the saddle horn and her eyes burned into it like it held a message. “We stayed in a hotel, when my mom and sister came into town to try to convince us to stop before we got hurt or worse.” She made a sarcastic sound. “You know us, we were never going to get hurt. We were too powerful.” Her face went pale and she said right above a whisper, “After my mom wouldn’t stop nagging me, I walked into the hall to Cole's room. He was coming out to meet me when the men showed up out of nowhere. Before I could get away, they put a bag over my head and the world went black.” She moaned. “I woke up and you could only imagine what I faced for a month.” She refused to let a tear fall. “We looked for him for years after I escaped, but we found nothing. I told Cole to stop so we could get on with his life. Cutty was never caught.”

  Francesca just stood in shock, not moving, her face pale, eyes moist. Her jaw was hard. “When I was little, I wanted you to rescue me. I heard of you. They said an Angel and a Knight would come rescue us and give us all families. When you stopped rescuing, I became more hopeless. I thought you gave up, moved on, or got killed.”

  Izzy took her hand. “I wish I could have rescued you, Fran.” She wiped her moist eyes. She knew how to hold off the tears. “I might not have been able to rescue you, but you came to be my family anyway.”

  Francesca’s face showed all her emotion, bitterness, anger, and longing. So much longing at what was lost. "If you never got a thank you before, thank you, Izzy, for doing it. For loving people you don’t even know. For saving lives.” She waited so long that Izzy didn’t think she would say it. “I love you.”

  Izzy hugged her for a long time. “I love you, Franny.” She mounted and waved as she rode away. Still holding off her tears.

  As she rode up to the place; she saw it was beautiful with a small cabin and a big barn. And then she saw some paddocks in the back. She loved the little place, and it would be their place. She would put flowers in the beds in front of the cabin.

  She dismounted, tying Phoenix to the hitching post. Then she saw Jesse come out of the barn and spot her. His eyes brightened, he smiled. She ran to his arms and finally cried the tears she had held off during the ride. He held her as she cried. She loved him because he wouldn't back off when it got too tough. She just hoped when he found out about her past, he would still think that.

  Chapter 16

 
; “How are you doing, Ma?” Susan asked her mother as she visited with Mary. Susan was sitting in the parlor of the plantation house her parents owned. Susan had never thought her parent’s parlor was big, but it was twice the size of her kitchen and dining room. Even though they were from the north, they now fit in the South very well.

  “I am doing well, Susan.” Her mother, Hannah, was still a young woman with jet black hair and piercing blue eyes. However, she was a hard woman in that everything had to go well and look good. She had wanted her only daughter to marry well and wealthy. Instead, she had married a deputy who no one liked. It was not what she wanted for her only daughter, and Susan knew that. She looked down at the baby in the basket. “Who is this?”

  Susan picked up Mary out of the basket and expected her to arch her back and try to pull away from any touch, but this time she stayed relaxed in her arms. “This is Mary, she’s around nine months to a year old.”

  “She’s pretty.” Hannah said like she didn’t mean it. “What do you plan to do with her?”

  “Well, Matt and I are going to adopt and raise her.” Susan told her cautiously. She sat on the couch.

  “Raise her for how long?” Hannah asked like they were going to send her back in a couple of days. She also sat across from Susan.

  Susan retorted, “Until she is of age or out of the house.”

  Hannah looked at her like she was crazy. “It’s all right. I know your husband put you up to this. He is a bastard orphan and needs to save others.”

  “Mother, don’t call Matt that. He is my husband,” Susan told her. “And this is my daughter. It is my idea. When Julia and Cole came back, Matt and I chose to take her in. It was my choice just as much as it was his.” She paused. “We should have told you sooner. I know this came as a shock. I wanted you to love her and treat her like your grandchild.”

  “Well, I would, my dear, if she was my grandchild, but she is not. Where did she come from, anyway? Who are her parents? You know nothing of this child?”