Liberty Ranch
Page 22
She felt the ground move before she heard the horses ride up. Running outside, she saw Andrew pull in with a rough-looking group. Francesca was riding in the middle of the group. By the light of the setting sun, Katrina saw a bruise forming on Francesca's cheek and her hair was in knots all over her shoulders. She looked like she had been to hell and not gotten out.
After getting Francesca inside, Katrina just hugged her. She felt such relief even if Francesca remained stiff in her arms. Katrina stepped back, taking her into the warm kitchen, taking off Francesca's soaking wet coat. Then she saw a peek of her daughter's only way of life. Her dress sleeves were on her shoulders, leaving her bruised chest bare. The skirt was cut short to show off her boots and stockings.
Like normal, Izzy looked at her with one glance and shrugged it off. She started filling the tub.
"I am so glad you are home, baby," Katrina said as she sat in the kitchen chair.
"I ain't anybody’s baby and this ain't my home." Francesca glared at her.
Katrina flinched at the harsh words.
Francesca gave her a smug look.
"Stop it, Fran!" Izzy snapped as she poured boiling water in the tub. "Now undress and get in," she ordered in a no-nonsense voice.
Francesca looked at Izzy, then Katrina, and back again. She looked down and took her dress off, and then her undergarments.
Katrina saw Izzy's face crumble and for the first time, she saw terror on the young woman's face. Signing sorry, Izzy left like someone had lit her on fire. Katrina had seen her act nothing but strong. Praying for her, Katrina turned back to Francesca.
Katrina's eyes watered at the bruises on her daughter's legs, and her young full breasts. There was blood on her upper thighs. She wanted to weep at what they did to her baby. But like Izzy said, crying was useless.
"You don't have to look so sad. It's not like this ain't my life or a hundred other girls live every day. This is the west, not your good old south," Francesca slurred as she ran water over her face.
Staying silent, Katrina handed her a mug.
Francesca drank from the cup. Her face was emotionless. She handed the mug back, Katrina put it on the floor next to her. "Honey..." she started. "I don't have all the answers of what to do. Honestly, I don't know what to do right now. I am trying to keep Sara from fallin’ apart. I am trying to keep Carlissa from destroyin’ the house." She put her arms on her knees and leaned forward. "What you do affects others. You don't live in a bubble where you affect no one. What you do affects the other girls that live here. You have to face that, and that this life will get you nowhere." She bit her lip. "These men don't know what love is. They can't. It's not in them. The Bible says men that hurt His children will burn in hell. They will pay one day for all they took from you." She took Fran’s cheeks in her hands and looked in her empty eyes. "I love you, child. Andrew loves you. We will always love you. Nothing will change that. Nothing. We just want you to be safe. To feel the right kind of love. I love you, baby."
Francesca pulled away, glaring at her. She yelled with such fury, "You really love me? Would you love me after I sleep with every man in the west? Would you love me after I slept with every man in your family? Would you love me even if I destroyed what you had with your brother? Would you love me if I destroy your home like the terror does? Would you love me even if I destroy everything I touch?"
Katrina saw it was a child asking how far her love would go. Her eyes begged Katrina just to reject her, but beneath the anger and the hate, there was a longing. A child's longing to be loved. "Yes, I would still love you if you destroyed everything. I would still always love you. Nothing will change that."
Francesca still glared, shaking her head in disbelief. "I reckon you're up to the test."
Katrina was afraid of what Francesca meant.
IZZY STOOD BACK AND watched the builders swarm around Juan Jose and Maverick. After a bit, Juan Jose made his way over to her. She knew he wouldn't try to hug her. She hadn't touched him in nearly six years. He stood in front of her, his eyes looking down lovingly at her. She smiled, leaned over, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She knew she took him by surprise. It took him a minute to hug her back. He put his face in her hair. "Oh, I love you, Iz," he whispered so lovingly.
Stepping back, she saw his eyes were moist. He looked over at Jesse, giving him a glance that said they needed to talk. Juan Jose knew she hadn't told Jesse the truth yet.
Jesse stepped over to her, softly taking her hand, and held out a hand to Jose Juan. "Good to see you again, Juan Jose."
"You too," Juan Jose greeted him.
Izzy leaned into Jesse. She was enjoying how he touched her softly, as if something more would break her. It wouldn’t break her, but this soft, slow touch and love was healing her, even if he still didn’t know the truth. "You ready to work, or too tired from your trip?"
Grinning, he winked at her. "I have waited a long time for this." He turned to Jesse and challenged, "Let’s see who can put up the first wall."
Jesse chuckled. "You’re on, man."
KATRINA GIGGLED, KNOWING her dream was coming true. She smiled as she watched the men putting up the last wall. The chapel would be beautiful. A little piece of heaven. Leaning against a large oak tree, she imagined her future here. This would be where God really moved and worked in His children's lives, even the touched and soiled. This is where they would all be accepted. Just like all men and their families who came today to show their love and support of Liberty Ranch and what it would do. It made it even better that Juan Jose and Maverick had arrived to help just in time. She loved seeing Andrew and Maverick work with each other again. It felt just like at home.
Mabel came over and handed her a glass of punch. "You know I have prayed for a building like this for some time."
"So have I. I thought I would fit in at the town church, but it has not happened yet. This will be a real blessing to this town."
Mabel nodded. "We needed it for some time." She watched the men work.
"Do you think Pastor Peter will be all right with this?" She took a sip of her punch. Her sweet tea was better. She knew Pastor Peter didn’t let Mabel’s touched children do the same thing other children did.
Mabel sighed. "Oh, I am pretty sure he will not be all right with it."
Katrina looked at her friend with surprise. "Do you think he will come to the opening sermon Juan Jose has planned?"
"Oh, he will come just to see what it is about, but I am sure he will be uncomfortable with it." She sighed. “He doesn’t like change or touched people.”
"Jaun Jose is different." Katrina looked over at him working. He wasn't a big man, but he was fit and strong. His faith was unshakable. "I don't know him that well, but he is a good man. So much like Ben," she whispered.
Mabel squeezed her hand again. "You miss him."
"More now that Ellen is gone. I always thought Owen tried to take his place, but he never did. No one can take the place of Ben. He was the first father I loved." She let a tear fall. She was tired of hiding her grief from her girls and Andrew. Losing Ellen was bringing all those feelings back of losing Ben and Missy all over again. She leaned her head against Mabel's shoulder, even if Mabel was much shorter.
"It's hard always being strong for others," Mabel mumbled, like she understood.
Chapter 28
After supper, the church walls were up and standing tall. They would get the chapel done today so they could have church Saturday afternoon. Most of the men had the day off. Andrew was looking forward to it. Walking over to get a drink, he drank the cool water, thankful the weather wasn't as hot here as it was in Alabama. Nothing was that hot.
Charles came over and took a cup to get a drink. For a doctor, he was a fit man. He could work like a horse. He took a long drink then looked at Andrew. "How are you doing? Are plans coming along well?"
Andrew nodded. He looked at Charles, who gave him such a compassionate, caring look. The emotion of the man surprised him. For that he
opened up. He shrugged. "I am trying to do the plans. Some things are going as well as I wanted. I never thought it could be so hard."
"Have you prayed about it?" Charles asked.
Andrew almost nodded, but then thought about it. Had he taken time to pray or had he just done things his way? Had he asked God how to love his girls? He blinked. When was the last time he had prayed with Katrina? Like deep intimate prayers. He shrugged. "I could probably pray more often."
"Just don't try to do it all on your own. You need God and friends." He patted Andrew on the shoulder. "Trust takes time, just don't let it take too long. The damage will already be there."
Andrew stepped back. He looked over at Katrina, who was chatting with Mabel. She looked so trusting and at peace with her — eating up everything Mabel said. He looked back at Charles. "Not everyone is trustworthy." He took one last sip and got back to work.
DAVID WAS IN FULL FORCE this evening. He was throwing things at Johnathan and Julia again. It was after supper and the boys were out doing chores with Cole. The girls were locking up the ponies because of the summer storm coming in.
Julia shook her head and told him to stop it. The storm was already making her edgy. She didn't need this.
David picked up one of Julia's paintings and held it over his head, ready to throw it.The painting was one of Cole when Julia was starting to fall in love with him. She loved that painting. It showed his strength and gentleness.
"Do not throw that, young man!" Julia told him firmly.
David gave her a critical face, claiming she couldn't stop him.
Before Julia could move, he threw the picture. Her only reaction was to shove Johnathan out of the way as the wooden frame hit her in the face, then it fell in a pile of glass. She moved to take David in her arms, but what she planned to do with the boy was beyond her. She told Johnathan to go outside. The boy just shrugged like he was used to David's rage.
David kicked and tried to hit her. Julia could feel her cheek swell and hurt. She needed to put ice on it. She moved over away from the broken glass and brought him into the parlor. She sat on the sofa and just held him.
Making David face her, she didn't know how to get him to calm down. She just held him and prayed for him as he screamed.
Later, Cole walked in on David kicking and screaming in Julia's arms.
As soon as David saw Cole he stopped and smiled at him and became peaceful in Julia's arms.
Julia looked at Cole's shocked face and couldn't understand what overcame David to change like that. It had happened in the past, but never like this. She let him get down as she moved into the kitchen, tears building in her eyes.
Cole told David to go outside and then followed Julia as she swept up the glass, crying.
Julia felt so bad Cole had come in to see her being a bad mother. Cole came in and took the broom from her. He took some ice from his glass of water, wrapping it in a towel. "Come here, love." He gently took her in his arms and then carried her to their bedroom.
Julia leaned into his neck as she cried. "Oh, Cole, I am a bad mama. I did everything wrong and now you saw that."
Cole kissed her on the head and laid her into bed. "No, love. I am the one who should have seen it. Just lay down and sleep or draw." He gently put the ice on her cheek. "I will put the children to bed."
Julia shook her head. "No, I should do that and..."
Cole gave her a kiss to silence her.
Julia closed her eyes and drank in his touch, his kiss. It could always affect her. She loved to feel his passion as he touched her. Pulling away, she felt exhausted, but they had too much to talk of.
Cole just shook his head. "Tomorrow Matt and Susan are watching the children and we are having a day to ourselves, love."
Julia sighed. "That sounds wonderful, but what about the children?"
"They will have fun with Susan and the baby," Cole assured her. He knew he couldn't leave the children alone for much longer.
He kissed her again. "I will be back later to tuck you in, love."
Julia felt so tired, but her mind needed time to unravel, so she did what she did best when she needed to rest. While holding the ice on her face, she drew from her heart. When her paper filled and her pencil was dull, she fell into a fitful sleep.
"JULIA, I AM SORRY FOR not seein’ what David was doing, what he was like," Cole was saying, as he leaned against the palm tree for shade. The waves beat softly against the sand. The sun was high in the sky beating down on them like a soft blanket on a cool day.
Julia shrugged. She leaned against him, loving the feeling of the sand on her bare feet. "I should have been honest with you about how he had been acting," she said. It felt so good to talk to him like this. "I just didn't want you to think I was bad at taking care of them."
Cole took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers. "Oh, hon. I could never believe such a thing because it could never be true. You are a wonderful mother. David is just struggling with you being a parent."
"He is fine with you!" She nearly shouted.
"He is for now, but that may change. He doesn't see me as a threat." Cole chose his words carefully. "He is strugglin’ with you because you are trying to be his ma and that scares him. See, he never bonded with his ma."
"Do you mean Ellen?" Julia listened to every word. She pulled her skirt up, enjoying the air on her legs.
"Right. I am sure he treated Ellen much like he does you. He bonded with Missy and when that bond was broken, it crushed him. He didn't understand what was happening. He didn't have the emotions to deal with the loss, so he just reacted and didn't bond with Ellen. And now he is struggling with you." He paused, choosing his words carefully. “He might be this way because he has been living in fear for so long. Getting shot at, knowing his older siblings and even Mama weren’t safe. I don’t want you to feel responsible for it, but it is also somethin’ we need to deal with.”
Julia closed her eyes. “I was so wrong for not tellin’ the family for so long. It is probably one of the reasons I didn’t tell you about David. I fell back into that trap.”
Cole kissed her on the top of her head. “We will just pray that you will overcome this. And when you feel yourself unable to talk or be open, come to me and we will pray, and I will just hold you. Showing you I will never leave.”
“Hold me now,” Julia whispered.
“I always will.” Cole ran his free hand over her hair, which she had pulled back in a bun. She loved the feel of his fingers. He let his hand slide to her neck. "I also need to apologize for not getting someone to help you, especially after Gloria left. It was the one thing I promised Ellen I would do."
"Who could I go to around here? Is there someone who doesn't believe the lies about Ellen? I can't deal with that."
"Of course not. Not everyone believed the lies. I was thinking maybe you could confide and talk with Melissa."
Julia liked what she knew of Melissa but didn't know if she could trust her enough. What did it matter? She would be in Colorado territory by the end of the month. But she did need someone to ask how to be a good mother. Maybe she could even ask her about more things. "I will think of it." She sighed. "I just miss Ellen so much."
Cole nodded against her. "As do I. I think of her often, especially when I see you with the children. You reminded me so much of her."
Julia looked over the waves lapping on the beach. "How? I look nothing like her."
"But she raised you. You act like her. It makes me fall in love with you all over again."
Julia felt tears sting her eyes as she turned to look at him. "Do you really love me?"
Cole ran a finger over her cheek. She shuddered under his touch. "Do I make you doubt my love?"
Julia shook her head. "No, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it."
Cole shook his head like he didn’t know what to do with her. "Aww, love. You deserve so much more. Don't you know you are a child of the King? You are worthy of so much."
"Sometim
es I need the reminder." She softly sighed, this time from contentment.
"Don't we all." He pecked her on the lips. "I will make sure you never, ever, forget it." Then he pulled her closer and kissed her more thoroughly, reminding her how much he loved her.
Chapter 29
Katrina sat back on the hardwood chair as she enjoyed a cherry pie with tons of fresh cream while sitting across from Andrew. The room smelled of leftover coffee and the biscuits Francesca had burnt. Katrina enjoyed these talks with Andrew about the ranch, the talk in town, and of course the girls. It made her feel like they could do this.
"How are the girls doing?" Andrew took a sip of coffee.
"Fran was worse than normal." Katrina shook her head. "Sara did a great job on the pie."
Andrew smiled. "She sure did. It was a little crispy." He winked.
Her eyes lightened and she added, "Carlissa didn't have a rage today. Which is good, I don't know if I could have handled it today." She kept thinking about the other rages and how bad they got. Her body was getting used to it. With the last one, Carlissa calmed before she let her go and Carlissa even looked at her gently as she got up, not with the hate she normally had in her eyes. That was the first time in a while Carlissa allowed her to hold her.
"What do you mean Carlissa didn't go into a rage?" He looked confused. "When was her last rage?"
She looked at him, placing her head on her hand. Why did it matter? "She only had one in the morning. Which she almost always does in the mornin'."
"Except this mornin'? What did you do differently?"
She took a sip of coffee, trying to clear her mind, to remember. "We didn't do school. We did chores, cleaned, and then cooked." She made a wry face. "Okay, we made way too much food, but both girls enjoyed it."