Liberty Ranch

by Temperance Johnson

  Walking forward, he slid his arms around her. She leaned back. As he kissed her neck, she smiled. "What was that for?"

  He growled into her neck and kissed her lips. "Do I need a reason to kiss my woman?" he drawled.

  “Someone will see us,” she told him playfully.

  He heard some laughter in the living room from the sewing circle. He knew she was nervous about it. “Well, you’d better go see your guests.” He gave her a pat on her backside. She eyed him like there was something wrong with him.

  He was about to go back outside to finish some chores when he heard Mrs. Walker ask Carlissa, "Where is your mama?"

  "Outside," Carlissa answered.

  "No, I mean your real mama," she said.

  Andrew waited to hear what Carlissa said.

  "What do you mean? She is my real mama."

  "No, someone gave birth to you." Mrs. Walker was getting impatient.

  Andrew could see Carlissa's face full of confusion. "I didn't know that," she stuttered.

  He couldn't take it anymore and he walked in. Carlissa spotted him and she ran to him. He picked her up. "Pa, who is my real mama?”

  He wanted to swear. Not at his daughter, but at this woman who had caused this confusion. "Well, your real mama is Katrina just like Ellen was my real mama. But we are special. God gave you two mamas. One gave birth to you and the other one gets to love you bunches." He tickled her a little, she was still a child. Unlike the older girls, he could keep her young and still very much innocent. "Why don't Mama and I take you to Hattie’s or a picnic, your choice! We can talk more about it later."

  She kissed him on the cheek. "Just us and no sisters."

  He chuckled. "No sisters."

  She jumped down. "Let me go tell Mama." She laughed. "I want peach pie and sweet tea." She waved a finger in his face to make her plan clear.

  He nodded, chuckling. "Yes, ma'am." He had turned his western kids into southern brats. As Carlissa ran away, he faced Mrs. Walker. "I would appreciate it if you didn't bring up my daughter's family that she came from."

  "But you should look for them." Mrs. Walker pushed her lips out. "She deserves to know her real kin."

  "I would agree. Everyone should know their family that gave them life, but that doesn't happen often." Andrew tried to get her to see the truth. "Looking for her parents would be like looking for a needle in the hay. It won't happen."

  "Why ever not? Every child should be with their real mama."

  Andrew sighed. "She is being raised by her real mom. Living the life my young child led, it would be a surprise if they are still alive." Then he thought, If you tell my daughter her real parents are in heaven, it will be my first time hitting a woman. "I would like it if you didn't mention it to any of my children again. We will talk to them about it. If you and others do, it just confuses them."

  Putting her nose in the air. "And if I don't stop?"

  Andrew’s eyes widened. "I will have to ask you to leave my girls alone and not talk to them again."

  Her mouth dropped open. "You need to respect your elders, young man."

  "Ma'am, I believe I am,” he drawled. “But protecting my children is more important."

  She grunted and walked away.

  STEPPING INTO THE BARN, Cole’s eyes adjusted to the light. He knew he would find the boys in their favorite spots with the ponies. The ponies were like dogs to them. David ran up to him. Cole picked him up. David always seemed in a good mood lately and he started talking his ear off like he always did. Sometimes the non-stop chatter gave Cole a headache, though he would never admit it. He carried David as he walked into the back paddock.

  He saw Travis out there looking furious. He was yelling at an untrained filly. Putting David down, Cole ran to see what was wrong. Before he could reach Travis, Hunter came out and yelled at Travis.

  "Get it together!" Hunter shouted.

  Travis raged, shaking his fists at his brother. "The filly won't do what I want," he yelled. "I don't need you to tell me what to do!"

  Hunter shook his head like he was dealing with a child who just wouldn't listen.

  Cole stepped between them as Hunter looked like he was about to throw a punch. "Boys, calm down." He looked at Hunter. "What is wrong, son?"

  "First, I ain't your son!" Travis shouted angrily. "My real pa was killed for what he did to his family! My real pa is killed! You will never be my pa." His eyes got wide as he realized what he had said. He turned and walked away in anger.

  Cole had never been so hurt. The words cut deep. He knew it was emotions talking. He looked at Hunter. "Let me talk to him. Take the boys to the house."

  At Hunter's nod, he followed his son.

  Travis stopped at the fence. He put his head against the board like he carried the weight of the world on his thin shoulders. Cole knew that feeling. It took so much to make the feeling go away. He just stood next to him, waiting for Travis to speak first. It was hard to wait. He prayed God would give him the right words. He hoped the words would be nothing like his father's words. Both older men in his life had spoke like christians but aced very different. It left a foul taste in his mouth.

  Travis finally sighed. "I am sorry for yelling." He said it like that was what Cole expected to hear, his voice void of emotion.

  Cole wanted to punch someone for making this lively boy a robot with no voice and no feelings. He knew acting was easier than a feeling. “I accept your apologies. I don't like how you handle that, but I want to know what you feel. You can tell me what is going on inside.”

  Travis shrugged like he didn't care.

  "I know when Owen betrayed everyone it hurt as nothin’ else could." He looked at the younger boy. "I have felt betrayed as well."

  Travis shot his dark, angry eyes at Cole. "Your pa kidnapped your sister and planned to kill her? Did he break your mama's heart?" His voice was even. He was a hurting boy who wanted answers. "Did he call you and your siblings liars when you were finally honest about what his brother was doing?"

  Cole didn't flinch. His eyes met Travis’ hurting eyes. He kept his eyes light. "In the way, my pa beat my ma, my sisters, and beat me often. He never once defended me on anything. It was always a fight with him. In many ways, my pa betrayed me. He had been dead for many years, but I had to forgive him even after he was dead. I had to let go of the bitterness I had harbored for years." Cole told him.

  Travis's eyes clouded with tears, confusion, and pain. "I fear others."

  Cole nodded. "You can always come to me with your fear and your anger. Taking your anger out on your siblings and the animals will not help."

  Travis looked guilty at what he had done. "I am just full of hate. I can't think straight."

  Cole understood that. "You come to me when you feel those feelings coming on. Or you can go to Matt or any of the brothers. You can always go to God in prayer."

  Travis shook his head but shrugged like he wanted to end this topic.

  Cole didn't want to push, asking, "Can I pray with you, Travis?"

  Travis nodded again, his emotions shut off, his face guarded.

  Cole prayed for God to heal Travis and help him open up. In his heart, he was asking God to take away his own anger at a man who had hurt so many of his loved ones. Again, he gave his pa over to God, holding no anger or bitterness, knowing it wasn't easy.

  WALKING OUTSIDE, IZZY'S hair blew into her face, feeling like a tornado was nearby. The sun was so bright it nearly blinded her. The wind was probably bringing in colder weather, but nothing like the deep freeze of winter. She didn't want to think about winter because it would mean that she was married and in the mountains. She hadn't really thought about the wedding, let alone planned it. She wasn't sure what would happen.

  She pulled her hair back with a thong and put her hat back on. After getting Phoenix saddled, leading him out she nearly ran into a figure standing in her way. Looking up, her eyes met the man she loved more than anything. And the man she had tried so hard to forget.

>   Jesse smiled. "Hi, Iz."

  Izzy closed her eyes. The sound of his voice was making her long for him, and also feel like hitting him. She felt his hand on her cheek. She pulled away and turned into Phoenix. She hadn't been touched by a man since she had seen him last.

  "Izzy, can we talk?" Jesse said lightly, though his voice held some defeat.

  Izzy looked at him and saw he was trying so she should at least do the same. "Sure." She mounted before he could help her. "Let's go for a ride."

  He sighed and then mounted his own stud.

  Izzy took the lead without being asked. She rode for some time and knew she had to stop at some point. Finding a peaceful place by the river, she stopped and stared at the running water, not thinking about the beautiful view at all.

  Jesse walked up to her and held out a hand. Looking down at him, she frowned. This was so hard for her. She finally took his hand and dismounted. He tied Phoenix for her, then sat next to her on a huge rock overlooking the river. Izzy kept her hands in her lap.

  Jesse put his hands behind him, leaning. "How have you been, Iz?" he finally asked.

  She didn't want to talk, but knew they had to. So why not talk about stuff no one cared about? "Fine, the girls have been doing pretty well. We even held a sewing circle with the ladies at the ranch. The stock is buildin’ up for Andrew and for when Cole gets here. It will be good. I bought some more stock." She finished with that.

  "That is good. We needed more for the land than we have," Jesse told her.

  Glaring at him, she asked harshly, "So everything is fine and back to normal?"

  Jesse flinched and shook his head. "No, I messed that all up. I came back so maybe we can start over — start new. A second chance at love. Let's do it right. Will you give me another chance?"

  Izzy looked back over the river. She didn't know what she wanted. She loved Jesse, but knew she couldn't get married the way she was at this point. Moving a strand of hair from her face, she thought Jesse was right, they had to do something. Finally nodding, she met his gaze. "Fine, but we start new with not being alone, and we don't touch as much."

  Jesse looked at her, full of pure love, not that passionate love he had that night. "Let's agree to touch on your terms. If you want me to, I will."

  Izzy nodded. They gazed at the beautiful view. After a bit, Izzy leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. He never moved or took her hand. Cole would say that her heart was as far as Texas. It would take a miracle to get it back to Jesse.

  Chapter 27

  Gazing out the window, Katrina felt like a mother waiting for her children to return home from school. Is this how Ellen and Missy felt when their children ran away? Katrina couldn't believe Francesca had run away again. How long would it be till she felt a part of the family? Watching the rainfall, she held back the tears that threatened.

  It didn’t help that since Sara had opened up about her past, she had been much worse, from throwing things to swearing about everything. It was like she was asking Katrina to kick her out.

  Turning, she saw Izzy walk in with two steaming mugs. She sat on the other side of the sofa and handed over the steaming mug. "Andrew will find her." Izzy took a sip.

  Taking a sip of the hot chocolate, she savored the sweetness. "I don't understand why she keeps going back to that life. Are we not good enough? Am I such a bad mother?!”

  Izzy shook her head. "No!" She bit her lip. "It's all she knew. She doesn't see herself as a victim or a survivor yet. She was just going to live in that life for the rest of her life. She didn't think of anything else. She was born to it. Some even said it was in her blood."

  Katrina flinched. She was not used to that world. It scared her. Maybe that was why she wasn't a good mom. "How do you know so much? Like I know you work with Liberty House, but none of this fazes you. You seem to know the girls' feelings."

  Izzy put the mug on the table and pulled the blanket next to her around her shoulders, putting her feet under her. Katrina wondered if she shouldn't have asked. Izzy spoke softly, facing her so she could read her lips, but not meeting her gaze. "I once lived the life Francesca was born into."

  Katrina gasped, hoping she had heard wrong but knowing by Izzy's face she hadn’t. "I am so sorry, Izzy. I would have never known. You are so strong."

  Izzy dipped her head and gave a hard laugh. "So you think."

  Katrina set her mug down and placed a hand on her shoulder. "But you are so strong. None of this shocks you."

  Izzy narrowed her eyes and cried, "I want to be shocked. I want to say I know none of what the girls are feeling. I want to have the liberty to know nothing of what they are going through. I want that. But they have taken it from me!"

  "I am so sorry, I didn't mean it like that." She chose her words more carefully. "What I mean is you're a good person for them to depend on. You understand though, that is hard to do." She sighed. "I don't know what I mean..."

  Izzy whispered, "I understand." She took another sip.

  Katrina stayed silent for a long time. "Can I ask you something?"

  Izzy shrugged. "I might not like it, but I will answer."

  Katrina bit her lip. "How did you get through it?"

  Closing her eyes, she spoke, "God, my family, and knowing what I did, knowing how it affected them. Family got me through it, but you never really get over something like that." She met Katrina's eyes, though it was hard. "Francesca will believe that one day. You and Andrew are doing a good job with her."

  Katrina shook her head. "I don't think so. I think she hates me."

  "She probably does,” Izzy stated dryly. “It comes from the same place, hate and love. It will be up to her to choose."

  Katrina's mouth dropped open. "How are you always so calm about it?"

  Izzy chuckled softly. "Believe me, I am not. Cole says the Donovans have an outrageous sense of humor. It comes from people hating us. Really the truth is, I am just good at acting." She shrugged again. "And I will be leavin' with my man in the fall. You have them forever and always have to plan for the future."

  Katrina nodded. "Does Jesse know?"

  Izzy shook her head. "I am afraid of what he will say."

  Katrina agreed. Jesse had a way of not handling things well. "Don't be worried. God gave you a good man. He might act out of emotions first, but then he will think with his heart." She smiled softly. "I would tell him before my loud-mouth daughter tells him."

  Izzy chuckled. "Yeah, I better."

  Katrina took Izzy's hand, turning serious. "Missy had two children with her master before she met Ben. They were both sold. They were to never see them again."

  Stunned, her eyes wide, Izzy said, "I didn't know that. Jess doesn't talk often of Missy and Ben. We have talked often of Ellen and are working on talking about Owen.”

  Katrina gave her a sad look. "Losing them was hard, no matter how long it has been. We don't speak about that time often. Though Missy had Hunter pretty soon after marrying Ben, their marriage was hard at first. She had a hard time with the angry boys. That was one reason us girls moved in with them."

  "She couldn't handle the angry boys physically or mentally. The boys triggered flashbacks from her abuser." Izzy spoke from experience. "I could never do it."

  "Why can't I believe that? You are so good with the girls."

  "They ain't that hard, you just have to live day by day." Izzy took a sip. "Thanks for telling me about Missy." Setting her empty mug down, she felt exhausted.

  "Anytime." Katrina could see the fatigue in her eyes. She put a pillow on her lap. "Why don't you try to catch some sleep?"

  Izzy shook her head. "I... might..."

  "Wake up from a nightmare," Katrina finished for her. "Well, I have seen worse, I am sure."

  Izzy doubted it but lay her head down in slumber, which was peaceful for once in a long time.

  FRANCESCA HAD GOTTEN used to getting up early and going to bed early. Exhausted from the night before, she hated how she felt. Not that it was an unfamiliar
feeling. It made her feel old.

  She already missed her morning cup of coffee while talking with Katrina. Sometimes Katrina got out a treat just for them before the other girls woke up. Looking around the smoky saloon, she knew she wouldn't have sweet tea again. Andrew had told her love and sweet tea made a home. She rolled her eyes now. Only a good old southern boy would say things like that.

  A hand touched her shoulder. She wanted to ignore it and tell them to get away, but she turned, putting on a fake smile. Expecting to see another cowpoke who didn't know how to bathe, she looked up and met the eyes of the man she had never expected to see again. Not after seriously working again.

  Closing her eyes, she almost leaned into him. Andrew had come for her. She hadn't expected him to come for her. Not like that other time. But this time was different. This time she had worked. Looking up at him, she saw his anger as he looked at her. From his face, he knew what she had done. She could tell by the anger, but what did she expect from a saint? He still came for her.

  "Do you have a contract?" Andrew asked.

  Francesca shook her head. She hadn't gotten one. She had been too afraid of being locked in, being owned again. But deep down she was afraid of Andrew not coming for her. She was afraid he wouldn’t pay for her.

  He took her hand like she was a child. After the work she had just done, she was anything but a child. "Let's go," he said more gently, leading her to the door. He added, "Let's go home."

  Francesca looked up at him like his words meant nothing to her. She shrugged. She was going home for sweet tea and Poder.

  AFTER TWO DAYS OF FRANCESCA being missing, Katrina was a complete mess. Both girls had been terrible that day, which was to be expected. Katrina walked back into the kitchen, taking the cookies out of the oven. She prayed again that Andrew would find Francesca safe. She glanced at the tub, not feeling like getting in, but since it was nearly ready, she might as well.