Liberty Ranch

by Temperance Johnson

  Francesca laughed like she had to be kidding her. "Me? What man will be with a woman who has been with hundreds of men? He will grow tired of me! Just like Jesse will." She glared at the older woman. Her eyes hurt, so broken and confused. "You think Jesse won't grow tired of you. That is what men do with a woman like us. There is something wrong with us. Why do they keep moving on to more women? There is something wrong with us. Soon enough Jesse will see it."

  Izzy shook her head. "No, he won't." She couldn't say any more. She had no more words. It hit too close to home for her. Maybe Francesca was right, even in her hurting words. Maybe Jesse would grow tired of her. No, that was not true. She turned to the sink, feeling tears come to her eyes. She rarely let them fall.

  "See, I am right. In your heart, you know it too," Francesca told her smugly.

  Izzy closed her eyes against the tears, knowing she couldn't speak right now. She didn't have the fight in her to change Francesca's reflection on life.

  "You are wrong, Francesca," Jesse said as he stood in the doorway. Izzy's eyes met his, then she looked away as he spoke. "Francesca, you are wrong. When you get to know the man God has sent you, he will love you for you and not what you can do for him. He will honor and protect you as God commands him to. If he is listenin’ to God's will and respecting you, he will wait till marriage to be with you."

  Izzy looked up at him. He was looking at Francesca, so caring but trying to guard his look. He walked over to her and took her hand, squeezing it in comfort.

  Francesca glared, her hands in fists. "That is a great thing to say, but have you ever been with a woman? Have you ever slept with a prostitute? Cause I hear there is nuttin’ better!"

  Izzy didn't know when she had felt so vulnerable, so exposed, like her sins were out there in the open. Francesca's words hurt more than she could say. She just wished Jesse would hold her closer cause she was about to break. Holding his hand wasn't enough. She needed to know he didn't believe these lies. She needed to know she didn't believe these lies.

  Jesse put his arm around Izzy, sensing what she needed. No matter what Francesca said, in her eyes she was a child calling them to love her and not forsake her as everyone else had in her young life. Her eyes said prove me wrong. "I had been tempted to, but I never did. Some would say it was because I had a good God-fearing mother. Others would say because my ma was a prostitute and probably died in that life. But the truth is I couldn't ever do it. I had learned from a young boy that a woman's body was never something to buy. Ever. Do you want to know why I believe that?"

  "You were too good for them?" Francesca crossed her arms in a way that made her almost flirting with him.

  "No, I knew they were real women who had a soul. I heard my older brother cry out almost every night for a sister he would never get back. We hardly ever spoke of Clara, but I knew her well from her brother's cries. They never ended. He still cries for her in his heart. And will probably until the day he dies. It is a silent cry for someone who was taken at the young age of twelve. She never got the chance to live in freedom from men. You have that chance, Fran. You have that chance to live free of that. Andrew and Katrina are givin’ you that chance."

  Francesca looked shocked and maybe behind those eyes she looked hopeful, but her eyes still held distrust, like she could never have that life. "What am I trying to do to be a good daughter to them? What will it matter? I will never get a man who won't grow tired of me. You just wait and see, you will grow tired of being with Izzy!"

  Izzy flinched at the words.

  Jesse held her tighter, a little closer. "No! Don't you ever say that again. I know why you would believe that. You have seen it with men. Passing you by for another. For someone better." He gave Izzy one last squeeze and then walked closer to Francesca and met her hard eyes. "The reason you think men will move on with something better is because you have seen what the men's sin has done. Not your sin, but the men's sin. It is their selfish desire that hurt you. It was their lust that they moved to another woman. It was not love, and that is what God designed sex to be. God didn't make it evil or to hurt, but men have done that. Men moved on because they were sinful and lustful. It had nothing to do with you. You are beautiful inside and out." He paused. "I will never grow tired of Izzy because I love her the way a man should love a woman. And when we get married, I will love her the way a husband loves a wife. Because that is what God made sex for in a marriage. But what is more important is that I will care for Izzy's heart. Caring for her heart and soul to make sure she is happy and content and at peace. The same way I know Katrina would want to do with you."

  Francesca shook her head, putting her hands on the flour-covered counter, and stayed hard, like a rock unmoved. "So what, you know how to be content?"

  Jesse tried to meet her eyes, but he looked down. "I thought I learned to be content when I first believed at sixteen, but I realized this year I didn't know contentment. When I first believed, I depended on my ma way too much. When she was close, I felt like I could handle life. I was just a minute away from falling apart. You know that she passed away. When she did, my world ended. I had lost my lifeline. I didn't realize God was there for me all along. So instead of going to Him, I made Izzy my new world for contentment. It was wrong, and a while ago I realized God is a jealous God. And He wanted me to be content with him, not with Izzy or Ellen. And He is now. He is my life. He is where my contentment comes from."

  Francesca's eyes showed anger, as if she didn't know a thing of what he said. She understood none of it. "You try that God thing. It will be a matter of time until you grow tired of it." She dusted off her hands and then shook them off on him. She glared at Izzy. "You'll see I am right. Why else would your pa beat you as a child?" And then she walked out, slamming the door.

  Izzy didn't flinch, but Fran’s words stung. So much for opening up to her, trying to help her understand. It had gotten thrown back in her face.

  Jesse just shook his head, feeling heavy. He heard Izzy walk up behind him. She slid her arms around his waist. He held onto her arms, knowing how hard it was hard for her to touch him. She put her chin on his shoulder and watched Francesca walk to the corral toward Poder and whispered, "She doesn't have the ears to hear."

  He turned around in her arms and looked at her. He stepped back. He had been trying to show he loved her by not always touching her, but by touching her heart. "What she said was lies."

  She nodded, understanding what Francesca felt and believed.

  He brushed her cheek ever so softly. "I will never grow tired of you. When you walk into a room, my eyes cannot get enough of you. When I touch you it makes my heart beat a mile a minute. It takes my breath away. Feeling you is like holding a pure white angel. I will never stop desiring you. You will forever be my beloved bride. Forever."

  She could melt in those chocolate eyes. His words were like a salve to her wounded heart. It made her feel like she was a pure maiden. She winked. "Forever is a long time, cowboy."

  He leaned closer, and breathed, "Forever will be like a day with you."

  She turned her head into his hand. His voice was crazy to her heart. For the first time, she was feeling. She didn't want it to stop. His touch made her stomach do butterflies. She closed her eyes, not wanting this to end.

  He ran his hand down her cheek and then stepped back like he knew what she was feeling. Looking into those beautiful eyes, he said, "Isabella Donovan, I also promise to do the best I can to care for and protect your heart. To care for the person who was hurt. To remember to be the man God made me to be."

  WHAT COLE SAID, JULIA ran over and over in her mind. Could Charity be doing too much? Too much of the mother?

  Suddenly the boys ran in, with Charity chasing after them.

  Julia stopped them. "Now what is wrong?"

  "Julia, I have it under control," Charity told her. Not disrespectful, just a statement.

  Julia's eyes widened. Charity had never acted like this before. "Boys, go to your room," she told them.
They both looked to Charity and then to Julia. "Now, boys."

  As they ran off, Julia was gentle with Charity. "Now, why do you think you are in charge? You are a child."

  Charity looked hurt. "I am more of a woman than you think. I know how the boys can be and I need to help."

  Julia sat down at the table. "Come sit, dear."

  Charity obeyed, playing with her napkin.

  "Hon, me and Cole can parent the boys. You can just be a child. Do normal child things, play with your ponies, go swimming and when we get to Colorado, there will be school and church friends."

  "I ain't been a child for years. And you can't do it alone."

  "I won't be alone. Cole is here to help me."

  Charity looked at her in disbelief. "Yeah, right. Do you know how many times David hit Ma in front of Owen? And he did nothin’ while he got all of David's love. He would say you are their ma, you do the work. She had to do it alone. Just like you. Cole is never going to help. David loves him.” She sounded too sure. “It just won't happen."

  Cole walked in carrying flowers. Setting them on the table, he was silent.

  "I am sorry, Cole, for sayin’ that." Charity almost cowered.

  Cole took a deep breath. "Darlin, never apologize for being honest with me." He sat in the chair across from her. "I am not the same as your pa. I do plan to help raise y’all. I won't say Julia and I won't make mistakes, but we will try to do what God says and try to raise you because we love you all." Charity looked surprised. "I do love you. My greatest wish right now is for you to be a child. Can you do that?"

  She nodded. "I will try... Do you really love me?"

  His heart melted. "I really, really love you, darlin." He picked up the flowers and smiled. "These are for you. To show much I love you and for all the work you do around here."

  "Thanks." She gave him a small shy smile. Getting up, she added, "I will go show Mel."

  When Charity left, Julia looked to her handsome husband. "Do you know I really, really love you?"

  He took her hands as he pulled her closer to him. She sat on his lap. "I can hear it again."

  "The flowers were for me," she whispered in his ear.

  "You will have to realize there are other women in my life." He sighed like he didn't have a choice.

  "Well, you got good taste." She kissed his cheek. Sighing, she turned serious. "I should have realized what a bad pa Owen was. I moved out around the time Ben passed."

  "Well, you couldn't have known any difference. Owen and Ben were your only father figures."

  "Well, Owen could never match up to Ben in a million years."

  He raised an eyebrow.

  "What?" she wondered out loud.

  "Well, it's just Owen had a lot to live up to." He cleared his throat. "Just makes me think of the children. They don't expect a lot from me. They never had a proper pa, from what they can remember."

  Her eyes went wide. "But they do expect a lot from me. Because I can never match up to Ellen." She bit her lip.

  He hugged her tighter. "That is not what I meant. You aren't meant to be Ellen. You are meant to be the best ma you can be, and that is what you are doing, love. That is all a person can ask."

  She nodded. "You're right."

  He kissed the top of her head. "Of course, I am, Rose." He turned serious. "You know I will be here when you need me to be. I will try to parent David with you and figure out what works and what doesn't."

  She felt such a peace, like she wasn't doing all on her own anymore. She had a man that she could stand by. This is what God wanted marriages to look like.

  "HOW ARE MY FINE LADIES today?" Cole asked. He had all the boys so the girls could get a break. They had taken the time to get some much needed chores and packing done before the big move. He had spent it in the barn getting it ready for sale. He couldn't wait till they were gone.

  The girls were outside sipping sweet tea under the big shade tree.

  Melody ran up and jumped in his arms. "Great. We got most of the fun stuff packed. Now it is just dishes, food, and canned goods."

  "Oh, you forgot..." Cole teased her. "Remember to pack all the candy I just bought. That is the real good stuff."

  Melody’s eyes danced. "Oh, we will remember, Pa." She moved around in his arms. "I will go tell Mama now!"

  Cole put her down. He didn't mean right then. He was just funning her.

  Moving to where Charity sat, she stood when he walked up, her defenses high. "How are you doing, Char?"

  "Fine," she told him in a monotone voice. She didn't meet his gaze.

  He prayed he could reach her. He would have to be patient. Suddenly he heard something. Staying still, his eyes moved over the ground. His heart stopped as he saw a rattlesnake by the tree near Charity. Just then, Charity met his eyes and her head turned toward the snake. Gasping, she stayed still. Didn't move. Only wisdom from what she had lived through would teach her that self-control. Staying still, he prayed he was fast enough. Taking his gun, he shot it before it could bite.

  What he didn't expect was when Charity started screaming, and ran into the woods. She was not seeing where she was going, she just ran. Cole wasn't sure if he should go after her. He might make it worse since he was a man, but Julia wasn't there. He walked into the woods, waiting to hear from her. If he ran after her it would make her more afraid. He could hear her moving through the fallen leaves.

  Two hours later, he finally tracked her to one of the biggest hills on Silkwood. It overlooked Daphne. To the right was a beautiful view of the gulf. He would miss the water. He thought it strange, Charity normally would have run to the beach, but she ran to the mountains. Praying, he walked up to where she sat. She said nothing. She looked calm and in control. He sat next to her, acting like he didn't have a care in the world. "I am sorry I scared you. I didn't see another way of getting rid of the rattler."

  Charity shrugged. "I should be sorry. It was foolish of me, running like that." She looked up at him. "Thank you for saving me."

  He smiled. "I always will, darlin'."

  Charity did the bravest thing she had ever done. She laid her head against his shoulder. "You remind me of Ben, Pa," she said, so softly Cole almost missed it.

  Cole praised God for this miracle. She hadn't even called Julia ma yet. He stayed still and let her control what she wanted in their relationship. He looked down at her and eventually found her asleep. God was healing this little girl's heart. He knew she had a long road to travel, but this was the start and he would be there for her.

  Chapter 32

  Cole wrapped Julia in his arms. She seemed to be worried about something. Cole heard the laughter of the children as they landed in the water from the slide. It was hot and muggy but Cole still held her knowing she needed it. “Do you need a hug?”

  Julia nodded against him. “Yes, but I also need to talk to you,” she murmured in his wet shirt.

  Cole stepped back to where he could meet her eyes, turning serious. “What is it?”

  Julia sighed. “It is time to give you this.” She pulled up the hem of her skirt and reached into her boot, taking out her knife and then a very small gun from her boot. She handed him the weapons.

  “What is this?” Cole asked as he took them. He had never asked her to give them up. He put the gun in his waistband, and the knife in his side pocket.

  “I don’t want to live in fear any more.” She bit her lip. “I trust you and the brothers to protect me and the kids.”

  Cole hugged her again. “Do you know how proud I am of you? You are so brave.” He took her chin in his hand. “Thank you for trusting me.”

  “No problem.” She smiled. “I love you and trust you.”

  Cole turned and held her hand, looking out at the mountains. “I never asked you to give them up. I know even after the men after me were killed that fear doesn’t leave. Izzy still wears her guns and probably always will.” He sighed sadly.

  Julia squeezed his hand. “Maybe one day she will also give it
up. With your love and Jesse’s, healing is possible.” She turned to watch the kids, knowing they could be interrupted at any time. “I just wanted to trust you. Actually Charity helped me with it. And I was afraid that David could get his hands on the gun.”

  Cole looked at her. “You know we can’t keep guns out of the house, especially on the ranch. It is more dangerous than Alabama.”

  “Oh, I know that. But we still have to keep him safe, and the other children.” She had to know. “Have you thought about what to do about guns when we get worse children on the ranch?”

  He looked thoughtful. “Yeah, Juan Jose and Drew have been talkin’ about it. We will have to be like most ranches and teach them gun safety. With all the dangers around we don’t have much of a choice.”

  KATRINA WALKED ON THE sidewalk, laughing. She needed this today. They all did. It was a way to decompress －a day of shopping, eating at the diner, and girl talk.

  Suddenly she walked into Izzy, who had come to a stop and stood still, staring at something ahead. Her back went straight, her jaw set. "What's wrong, Iz?"

  Izzy just took a step back and looked at Mabel, then back again.

  Mabel followed her gaze and her eyes went wide. So much for hiding one's emotion.

  Katrina looked over at the person they were staring at. He was a richly dressed man with a dark mustache, wearing a fancy hat over his combed hair. Nothing about him said much besides he was not from Deer Trail, that was for sure.

  Mabel stepped behind Katrina and whispered closely, "That is Teal Heyman. He is the operator of the Denver asylum."

  Katrina gasped. "How is he allowed in Deer Trail?"

  "Everything he does is legal," Izzy muttered bitterly. "Even gets paid for it."