The Christmas Deal

by Keira Andrews

  “You’re not.” He rubbed Seth’s back up and down, up and down, and Seth leaned closer to him. “We’ll walk down together.”

  “Or sled down together,” Connor said, looking at them with his forehead creased like it did when he was trying to figure out some hard math thing. “Logan knows what he’s doing. Right?”

  It was possibly the first time Logan had ever heard Connor say anything like that. He tried not to be too happy since the kid would probably be telling him he was an idiot in a minute. Logan was still rubbing Seth’s back, and he thumped it now.

  “I do. Jenna and I grew up with these flying saucers.”

  “Flying?” Seth shuddered. “No flying, please.” He kicked at the plastic. “There’s no way two of us can fit.”

  “Oh, you totally can,” Jun said. “My brothers and I used to get four of us stacked on one.”

  Logan positioned his sled near the edge and flopped down, getting his butt wedged in at the back. He spread his legs. “Come on.”

  For a second, Seth just stood there, his face going beet red, breath clouding out in little bursts. Then he mumbled something under his breath, looking up as if saying a prayer.

  Gingerly, he squatted and got into place, and Logan yanked him back so he was snug between his thighs. Logan had worn his long johns with waterproof pants over top, and the material squeaked as Seth squirmed into place.

  The pom-pom of Seth’s beanie was in Logan’s face, so he hooked his chin over Seth’s shoulder. “Lift your arms over my legs.” Now Logan could wrap his arms tightly around Seth’s middle. “Lean back into me and keep your feet up. That’s really important, okay? Feet up.”

  Jenna bent with her hands on Logan’s shoulders, and Logan said, “No spin.”

  “Okay, okay,” she grumbled. “Don’t worry, Seth. Logan’ll take care of you. We’re coming right behind!”

  Logan tightened his arms, pressing his cheek against Seth’s, the skin freshly shaved and warm with Seth’s blush even in the cold air. “Feet up!”

  Then they were sailing down the hill, the wind whipping, Seth’s feet jutting up perfectly straight in the air like a solider obeying orders. The world fell away and everything was the two of them locked together, soaring so fast.

  Adrenaline spiked, and Logan made a “Wooooo!” noise as they flew down. Seth dug his gloved hands into Logan’s thighs, making little gasping, squeaking noises that were so fucking cute Logan could hardly take it.

  They slowed at the bottom, sliding along the flat ground toward a tall snowbank that had been built up to make sure no one went into the thick pine trees beyond. They skidded to a stop, breathing hard, the shouts of Jenna and Jun and the kids echoing as they neared the bottom as well.

  “See?” Logan said, squeezing Seth with his arms. “All in one piece.”

  Panting, Seth leaned back against him, his hands gripping Logan’s knees. “That was… Goodness. Wow.”

  The others skidded near, Connor spinning and tumbling out with a laugh. More people were coming down all the time, and they needed to get out of the impact zone, but Logan wished he could just stay all snug with Seth for a while longer.

  Jenna held up her hand for Jun, who tugged her to her feet. She grinned at Seth. “Well?”

  “It was absolutely terrifying.” He turned his head to look at Logan, his blue eyes lit up. “Let’s do it again.”

  They all laughed, climbing up the hill and zooming back down several more times. Seth didn’t want to go down alone, and Logan was happy to share his sled.

  When they were tired out, it was time for hot chocolate and donut holes set up near their bus on folding tables. Dale really had thought of everything. Logan wanted to tell him he’d done a real good job, but wondered if it would seem like kissing ass since Dale was supposed to be finding work for him.

  As he poured hot chocolate into a paper cup from a big plastic container, thumbing down the spout, excitement skittered through him. Would Dale actually be able to get him a job? Obviously Logan had to do an interview and prove himself at whatever it was, but if he could actually get money coming in, it would be such a relief.

  He popped a sugary donut in his mouth. It would be more than a relief to have a job again. It would feel so damn good to not be useless anymore. He could get a place and stop freeloading off Seth, and save money for Connor and be worth something again.

  Although he had to admit that the thought of moving out of Seth’s house wasn’t as happy as it should have been. Probably because even with a job, he’d never be able to afford something as nice as Seth’s place. And with Connor at school, he’d be alone most of the time. But that was fine. Maybe he and Seth could still hang out. Maybe…

  Shoving another donut in his mouth, Logan told himself to stop being such a moron. He might not even get the job even if Dale could help him, and that was a big if anyway. And he and Seth… It was stupid to think about. They had a deal, and that was it. It was temporary.

  “I thought you were just faking it with Seth?”

  Stomach dropping, Logan gripped his paper cup a little harder and took a gulp, burning the roof of his mouth. “I am.”

  Holding his own cup, Connor was watching him suspiciously, his eyebrows almost meeting. “Really?”

  “Of course.” Logan forced a laugh.

  “Because you look at him the way you looked at my mom, back at the beginning. When I thought maybe things wouldn’t suck.”

  Logan tried to figure out what Connor was saying. It didn’t make any sense. “When you thought… But you hated me from day one.”

  Connor looked down at the donuts, shrugging. “You weren’t so bad, I guess.” He picked out a chocolate one and ate it.

  “I…” Logan had no clue what to say. “Oh. Thanks?”

  Connor huffed, eating another donut and mumbling, “Anyway, Seth seems into you. But you’re just pretending. Right?”

  “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Logan glanced at where Seth stood off with Jenna and Jun, drinking their hot chocolate and laughing about something.

  Connor rolled his eyes, licking crumbs from his lips. He looked up at Logan, apparently waiting for an answer.

  Heart thumping, Logan chugged his hot chocolate, wiping his mouth after. “Guess we’re both good actors.” Sure, he and Seth were screwing, and they were into it, but that’s all it was. That was the deal—casual.

  “Guess so.”

  Logan tried to think of something to say. “You looking forward to lunch with Santa?”

  There was that familiar scowl. “I’m not some little kid.”

  “I know. But it’s Christmas. My mom used to say we all get to be kids at Christmas.” He hadn’t thought of that in years, and for a moment, he missed her so damn much.

  This was Connor’s first Christmas without Veronica, and he wanted to tell him that it would be okay, and that it would get easier over time. Or at least it would be different. It would still hurt like hell sometimes, but not all the time.

  But he didn’t say any of that because Connor was already gone with a handful of donut holes, off to hang with some kids around his age. Shit, Logan really needed to get presents for Connor to open. Jenna would surely be getting some for Christmas Eve at her place, but they’d be at Seth’s on Christmas morning.

  And shit, he needed to get Seth a present too. More than one. With no money, he’d have to borrow from Jenna and Jun, and what if he didn’t get a job after all? He was suddenly afraid he’d puke up hot chocolate all over the snow.

  “Okay?” Seth asked as he walked up. “Don’t tell me all that sledding has made you green around the gills and not me.” He squeezed the back of Logan’s neck over his scarf, and Logan concentrated on deep breaths, a stab of pain in his chest flaring and then easing.

  He almost said he was fine and shrugged Seth off but let Seth ground him until he could give him a real smile.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Well, if that isn’t the moony face of a man in love!”


  Seth jolted as Angela’s twangy voice rang out from alarmingly close by. He realized he’d been too busy staring at Logan rolling the base for a snowman. And at Logan’s firm backside as he bent over to perform said task, his short leather jacket riding up, jeans clinging to his butt and thighs.

  Squirming, he tried to laugh. “Guilty as charged.” He raised his gloved hands. Ha, ha, ha. Hilarious.

  The pom-pom on Angela’s fuchsia beanie wobbled as she joined him at the railing of the large stone patio where Seth stood watching the snowpeople being created in all shapes and sizes on the hotel’s back lawn.

  Ice covered the empty lake beyond, but Seth assumed it was still too thin to skate on since they were skating later at the Olympic center. Sunlight beamed down, glaring off the snow, the sky having cleared to a perfect blue, the air absolutely frigid.

  “It really is festive here,” Seth said, nodding at the decorations strung between light poles.

  “It is. I love the holidays. I think no matter what your background, you should be able to enjoy Santa and Rudolph if you want. It’s a treat to get all the snow, even if it’s colder than a penguin’s pecker.”

  Seth laugh-choked, coughing hard. “That’s one way to put it.”

  Angela laughed. “I speak it like it is.” She eyed Connor in the distance where he stood with crossed arms, watching Logan roll the massive snowball, little Ian joining in beside Logan. Connor was saying something.

  Angela snorted softly. “Probably telling his daddy he’s doin’ it all wrong.”

  Seth laughed ruefully. “Most likely. Connor can be a handful.” He was acting like he hadn’t just met the boy and guilt nagged at the deception. Still, he had gotten to know Connor a bit and would be spending the holidays with him. He rolled his eyes internally. As if that makes this lie less of a whopper.

  “Logan was his stepfather, right? His biological father’s not in the picture?”

  “Not much at all. He lives in Florida and is hardly in touch.”

  She shook her head, pom-pom waving. “That’ll really do a number on a kid, especially after losing his momma.”

  “Yes.” Seth thought of his own parents. He’d been grown, but it had undoubtedly done a number on him to be rejected and ignored.

  “It’ll be good for him once you and Logan are married. Give him stability. I realized I plumb forgot to ask about the wedding details when I came for dinner. When’s the big day?”

  Uh-oh. Was she angling for an invitation? Seth stammered, “Um, well—you see—uh, I—” He snapped his jaw shut, feeling his ears go hot under his wool hat.

  Well, now he had Angela’s attention. Her sculpted eyebrows met. “Is there a problem?”

  “No! It’s just… I need to find a church.”

  “Oh! Surely there are some open-minded houses of worship up here? New York State doesn’t get much bluer. Heck, you might be pleasantly surprised by some of the churches in Texas. Not all of ’em, I grant you, but I suppose that’s true everywhere.” She sighed heavily. “I’ll just never understand why we can’t love our fellow man the way the good lord made ’em.”

  “I’m sure my parents would have some thoughts on the matter.” Seth cringed as soon as he said it. “Anyway, I’m sure we’ll find something soon.” He fiddled with the fringe on his plaid scarf. “So we’re going skating later, right? Can’t wait!”

  But Angela didn’t answer, instead watching him with clear sadness, her mouth pulled down. “Your parents aren’t supportive of you and Logan?”

  “No. Well, they don’t know Logan exists. It’s been years since I had any contact with them. One Christmas, I told them I was gay and had a boyfriend, and they showed me the door.” He shrugged, going for careless and surely failing.

  “Oh, sugar.” Angela squeezed her gloved hand over his where Seth gripped the balcony railing, the icy stone cold even through insulated leather. “That just breaks my heart. I hope you know you’re not alone.”

  Seth nodded, a lump in his throat almost choking him. Come January, he would be alone again. Sure, he’d see Jenna at work, but he’d come back to his finally finished house every night and there’d be no one else. Not even Agatha.

  He missed her with a sharp pang. He’d felt too guilty about “replacing” her, but he really had to get another cat. And after saying it aloud, he realized he did want to find a church.

  He found himself saying, “After my family turned their backs on me, I stopped going to church. I should have found a place in Atlanta, but I told myself I had a private relationship with God. And I do, but it would be nice to find a congregation where I could be myself.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

  Angela winked, her long lashes heavy with mascara. “Because I’m a nosy broad.”

  “I’m not sure whether I should agree or not.”

  She laughed throatily. “I get plenty of people blowin’ smoke up my backside. Now tell me about your ideas for your department. No pressure, even though I’m putting you on the spot.”

  “Oh! Right. No problem.” For a horrifying moment, his mind was completely blank. But he watched Logan rolling another snowball with the kids and caught his breath. “I’d start with tweaking our initial approach.”

  They stood by the railing discussing Seth’s ideas, Angela asking sharp, intelligent questions before she was called away by Dale. Before she left, she winked at Seth and told him HR would be in touch in the new year about his promotion, and he almost did a cartwheel right there on the snow-covered stone.

  When they all trooped over to the Olympic center for skating, he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Logan leaned in, his breath gusting warm over Seth’s cheek. “What’s got you so happy?”

  Everything. The promotion. You.

  “Pretty sure I got the job,” Seth whispered.

  Logan grinned, and his craggy face was beautiful in a way Seth had never imagined when they’d met. It seemed impossible it had been less than two weeks ago. As Seth lined up for skates, he checked his math.

  Yes, eleven days. But that was another reason why whatever this was between them was only casual. They barely knew each other, and they’d made a mutually beneficial arrangement.

  A successful one! Seth had apparently snagged the job, Logan might get a job out of it himself, and he’d had a place to stay while helping Seth get over his hang-ups about having sex without being in love. Seth was surprised to not feel particularly guilty about the hookups.

  That’s because they aren’t just hookups.

  His traitorous mind immediately supplied images of Logan on his knees that morning with his mouth full of… Well, of Seth. He shivered with pleasure just to think of it—and what had followed. Seeing Logan touching himself had been shockingly electric. The silence between them during the act had made it feel even more secret and special.

  Although now Seth could imagine what Logan would say about it.

  “You liked seeing me jack myself, hmm? Bet it makes your cock hard to think about watching me. Want to watch me again? Or do you want to get down on your hands and knees so I can fuck you and come—”

  “Size?”

  For an awful moment at the head of the line, Seth could only think about penises. Then he managed, “Eleven and a half,” and the bored girl behind the counter thunked a pair of skates on top. Seth added, “And a ten and a half, and a six. Please.”

  The skate pairs were tied together by their laces, and he carried them hooked over his fingers to where Logan and Connor waited on one of the benches lining a white wall.

  He was very glad his parka went to mid-thigh, and he forced his mind back to the present. Skating. With countless children present. No sex going on, casual or otherwise. He jammed his socked feet inside the skates and focused on lacing them.

  “You need to tie those tighter,” Logan said a minute later. He and Connor had their skates on already and were standing waiting. Logan knelt at Seth’s feet to retie the laces, which was so
sweet, yet spectacularly unhelpful in regards to Seth’s partial erection.

  The black skates were big and clunky and apparently made for hockey, although Seth wasn’t sure how exactly they differed from figure skates. As he stood, he clutched Logan’s arm. “Whoa. I don’t know if I can walk in these, let alone go out on the ice.”

  “You’ve never skated before?” Connor asked.

  “I’m from a small town in Georgia. I think there might have been a rink, but I never went there.” Too busy with countless church activities.

  Connor said, “It’s just like walking, but you know. Faster or something.”

  “Right. No problem.” Seth squared his shoulders and walked assuredly. There. He could do this.

  His confidence evaporated the moment the thin blades touched the ice. He clung to the boards beside the entryway, where others waited behind him to get out on the rink. His knees shook, and he took a baby step forward, trying just to get out of the way.

  He immediately overbalanced and landed on his knees and bare hands. He’d stupidly left his gloves with his shoes since it was chilly in the arena, but quite comfortable compared to outside.

  “Whoa!” Logan was there, his hands also bare as they grabbed around Seth’s waist and lifted him to his feet. Seth leaned too far back against Logan, his skates making little slicing motions. But Logan was a rock behind him, chuckling softly as he pushed Seth to the safety of the boards and the railing around the rink.

  “You’re like Bambi,” Connor laughed, his eyes crinkling.

  “This was a mistake. I can’t do it.” Seth gripped the wide top of the boards. His whole bottom half felt out of control, although at least his inappropriate erection had vanished.

  Other people whizzed by, everyone circling the rink counter-clockwise. On the loudspeaker, someone sang about rocking around the Christmas tree. “You guys go ahead. I’ll wait on the bench. Just help me get there.”

  Logan laughed too, taking Seth’s hand after prying it loose from the boards. “Come on. One lap around.”

  Connor nudged Seth’s other side. “We won’t let you fall. If you do, you’ll take us all down.” He nudged Seth again. “Let go.”