The Christmas Deal

by Keira Andrews

  Saying a quick prayer not to break any bones, Seth released the boards and took a tiny step. Then another. Connor’s small hand took his right, and with Logan on the left, Seth tentatively walked across the ice. He had their hands in a death grip, but they didn’t complain.

  The skates hurt his feet, and his thighs burned from the strain of keeping steady, but he was making progress. Jenna, Jun, and Ian whizzed by with a wave, Ian between them.

  “I’m like the five-year-old,” Seth grumbled. “Except Ian’s much better at this.”

  “It’s okay,” Connor said. “We all have to learn stuff sometimes. Try pushing off some.” He demonstrated, gliding on his right foot and pulling Seth along. “It’s actually easier to go faster.”

  Seth tried to mimic the smooth stride, almost pitching over onto his face. They patiently pulled him upright, and he tried again. And again. And again. As the Madonna cover of “Santa Baby” played, Seth was practically skating.

  “I’m doing it!” he exclaimed, and then pitched forward, over-corrected back, and smacked onto the ice on his butt, yanking down Logan and Connor too with gravity’s help.

  The three of them sat on their rear ends laughing, families skating by around them. “I’m sorry!” Seth shook his head. “Oh my lord, how am I going to get up?”

  Connor was already on his feet, and Logan rolled to his knees and pushed upright. He said to Connor, “Dunno. Maybe we should leave him here.”

  Connor blinked as if surprised to be in on a joke with Logan. He shrugged with forced nonchalance. “I guess. We can pick him up again after a few laps. He’ll still be here.”

  It made Seth’s heart so glad to see them bonding, even if he was the butt—no pun intended—of the joke. He harrumphed theatrically. “Go on. Abandon me here to my fate.”

  Matt and Becky skated by, and Matt howled with laughter, pointing at Seth, Becky rolling her eyes.

  “Nah,” Connor said, and they took Seth’s hands again, pulling him to his feet and keeping him steady. “It’s more fun with you.”

  Hand-in-hand, the three of them set off again, and Seth managed half a lap before slipping and pulling them down in a heap of laughter.

  Dinner was over, but it seemed Angela had one more activity planned. Or least Dale did, as he instructed volunteers in setting up two rows of chairs in the middle of the open space in the dining room as hotel staff cleaned up the buffet tables.

  Beside Seth, Logan eyed the game setup suspiciously. “What’s this, musical chairs or some shit?” He took another sip of red wine.

  The room still smelled like roast beef and gravy, and Seth was stuffed. Connor had gone off with the other kids for a screening of Home Alone in a conference room, Angela promising them bean bags and candy and a popcorn machine.

  “Logan!” Dale trotted over with a smile. “Been meaning to tell you that I sent your resume to Bob Ricci. He owns a statewide contracting company that’s done some work for Angela in New York City. He’s going to call you later this week after Christmas. He’s eager to do more work for Angela, so unless you royally screw up the interview—and I mean royally—he’ll have a job for you in January. He said he’s starting a new office renovation in downtown Albany. It’s perfect timing.”

  “Wow.” Logan shot to his feet and stuck out his hand, pumping Dale’s vigorously. “Thank you.”

  Seth grinned, barely resisting the urge to hug Dale for making this happen. Logan was beaming with joy, and Seth’s heart clenched to see it.

  Logan said, “I promise I won’t take a dump on his desk at the interview.”

  Dale tipped his head back and laughed. “You remind me of Angela. You both say exactly what’s on your mind. And remember, even though she got your foot in the door, you’re the one who’s going to walk through.” He nodded to Seth. “Merry Christmas. It’s been a pleasure meeting you both.”

  Seth stood to shake his hand, and he and Logan shared a grin when Dale left. Seth squeezed the back of Logan’s neck, wanting to pull him close and kiss him, wanting to whirl him around in celebration even though Logan was probably too heavy for him to lift.

  At the next table, Jenna bounced in her chair, she and Jun giving them a thumbs-up since they’d clearly overheard Dale’s news. Ian had gone to the movie, and Noah was with a hotel sitter for a few hours. Jenna had been sniffing her glass of wine loudly, apparently savoring every sip.

  Logan sat back down heavily, smiling in a daze. “I might have a job.”

  Seth squeezed his wrist, almost taking Logan’s hand. “You’ll nail the interview. I know it.”

  Of course, if Logan got a job, there’d be no reason for him not to move out in January like they’d agreed. That splashed cold water on his happiness, although Seth really did want Logan to get the job. He wanted Logan to get…everything. Absolutely everything.

  He wanted to share everything with him.

  We made a deal. Casual. No feelings. Stop making it into more.

  Folding his hands in his lap, Seth tuned back in as Angela stood by the rows of chairs holding a long branch with red ribbon tied on it and a sprig of berries dangling off the end as if it was a fishing rod.

  Waving the branch, she said, “Y’all know what this is, right? We’re going to play a fun little game for the grown-ups. It’s like musical chairs, but whoever’s left standing gives their sweetie a kiss under the mistletoe. Don’t worry, BRK is a family company and this is strictly PG. Maybe PG-13 if someone’s feelin’ saucy. Maestro?”

  “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” filled the air, and couples rose to circle the chairs, some clearly reluctant, others skipping along. Seth laughed as Matt dragged Becky up, but his smile froze as Angela pointed right at him.

  She shouted, “Come on now! We need some diversity up here!”

  Jenna and Jun tugged on Logan and Seth’s arms. Jun muttered, “If we have to do this, you have to do this.”

  They made their way to the double row of back-to-back chairs. Seth gave Logan an apologetic smile, and Logan shrugged, smiling back as they joined the group circling the chairs.

  The silence was sudden, followed by shouts and laughter as they scrambled for the chairs. Logan and Seth ended up a few apart, but both safely seated. Left standing, Miriam from IT pulled up a man Seth presumed was her husband and kissed him soundly as Angela held the mistletoe over their heads with her branch.

  Everyone applauded, and the song started again, Burl Ives’s kind voice telling them to have a cup of cheer and kiss under the mistletoe. The game went on, Seth’s heart racing as they circled, waiting for the shock of silence to dive for a chair.

  When he missed, it was Matt who grabbed it before him, his shaggy hair flying. He whispered, “Caper!” with a big grin. Logan stood and joined Seth, and Angela whipped the mistletoe over their heads with eagerness she didn’t try to hide.

  “Now let’s hear it for our lovebirds!” she exclaimed.

  Everyone clapped and hooted, and Seth felt like he was blushing all the way down to his feet in his leather shoes. Fidgeting, Logan’s smile was too tight.

  Seth laughed nervously and stepped closer, giving Logan a lightning-quick peck on the lips. More clapping, and Seth waved and laughed, ready to escape back to the table.

  Then Logan was blocking his way.

  Then Logan was taking Seth’s face in his work-rough hands.

  Then Logan was kissing him.

  Then Logan was kissing him for real.

  Not a peck. A genuine kiss—sweet and soft and sure all at the same time, pressing their lips together like there was nothing else in the whole world but the two of them. Nothing casual about it.

  Head spinning, Seth clutched at Logan’s waist. His heart was thunder in his ears as the kiss went on, their mouths fused and his knees actually going weak. Logan smelled like musky earth and pine, and Seth melted into him.

  When he gasped for air, he realized the thunder wasn’t only his heart—it was stomping feet and palms on tables, a swell of applause and support
from everyone in the room. Seth’s skin prickled with the heat of so many eyes on him, but Logan’s warm gaze was the only one that mattered.

  What’s happening?

  Seth couldn’t look at anyone as he and Logan returned to their table. His heart pounded, his body thrumming with adrenaline and stubborn joy. And when Logan tugged his wrist, Seth followed him out of the dining room and into the elevator. Neither of them spoke, staring straight ahead.

  The kiss had felt so real. But Logan was probably regretting it, fleeing to their room because he was done with this charade.

  The hotel room was dimly lit and silent as the door shut behind Seth with a click. His heart thumped as Logan turned to regard him seriously in the narrow entryway. Logan opened and closed his mouth, frowning.

  Then he kissed Seth again, this time his tongue thrusting past Seth’s lips as he grabbed him. Seth could only moan, meeting Logan’s tongue, wet and insistent, tasting of gravy and wine and perfection.

  “Want you,” Logan muttered against Seth’s mouth, their kisses broken only by little gulps of air.

  “Oh!” He hummed with desire, and as Logan dropped to his knees like he had that morning, Seth thumped back against the door, already hard, and—

  He gasped and jerked up ramrod straight, his fingers digging into Logan’s shoulder, staring in horrified disbelief at Connor, who’d appeared by the end of the far bed. They’d left the bedside lamp on before going down for dinner, and it partly illuminated Connor now, half of his face creased and confused, the rest in shadow.

  “What are you doing?” Connor asked.

  Logan shot to his feet. “What are you doing here?” he asked too sharply. “I thought you were watching the movie.”

  Jaw tight, Connor said, “Seen it a million times. We decided to go swimming again. I came up to get changed.” He still wore his jeans, long-sleeved T-shirt, and sneakers. He asked again, his voice harder, “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing!” they answered in unison, as if they were the kids and Connor the adult.

  Fists clenching, his shirt sleeves too short, Connor marched toward them, glaring daggers at Logan. “You’re lying to him like you did to my mom, aren’t you? Aren’t you!” His face creased. “I should have known. I thought maybe I was wrong, but I’m not.”

  Logan seemed stunned into silence. Seth said, “Connor, everything’s okay. I know this must be confusing, but—”

  “He’s playing you!” Connor shouted. “Can’t you see that? He’s telling you everything you want to hear. He’s a liar. Don’t believe what he says. He doesn’t really like you!” He sneered at Logan. “You’re not even gay, but you’ll do anything to get what you want. You don’t really care about him. Or me. I bet you’ll take all Seth’s money.”

  “I didn’t marry your mother for her money,” Logan said quietly. Seth prayed his restraint would continue.

  “Yeah, the joke was on you because she didn’t have any,” Connor spat. “But you needed a place to live, so you made her think you loved her. It was all a lie, wasn’t it?”

  “No!” Logan’s chest rose and fell with a sharp breath. “I really did love her, and she loved me. We got caught up in a stupid dream of helping each other, and we moved way too fast. We never should have got married. But I didn’t lie when I said our vows. It was way too good to be true, but I wanted to believe we could be happy.”

  Logan looked to Seth, his eyes beseeching. “And maybe I’m being a dumb fuck all over again, but I really like you.”

  Seth took his hand, squeezing Logan’s rough fingers. “I like you too.”

  Red-faced, Connor gritted his teeth. “But I asked you this morning, and you told me it was all fake!”

  “I didn’t know what to say,” Logan said. “It is supposed to be fake. That was the deal.”

  “And now you’re suddenly gay?”

  “No.” Logan rubbed his face with his free hand, the other clinging to Seth’s. “I honestly don’t know what I am. Apparently more bisexual than I thought. What I know for sure is that I like Seth more than I’ve liked anyone in a long, long time.”

  Connor looked between them, his pimply face creased. He glared at Logan. “But you’ll ruin everything! Seth’s awesome, and you’ll fuck him over!”

  Seth kept his voice even. “Okay, let’s sit down and take some deep breaths, and we can talk about this.”

  “He’s using you! What’s there to talk about? Fuck this.” Connor shoved past them with surprising strength, wriggling behind Seth and out the door before they could stop him.

  “Shit!” Logan was hot on his heels, and Seth followed, jogging down the carpeted hall past wooden doors.

  Connor went for the stairs, and they chased him down and right outside through a fire exit, Seth grimacing as his leather shoes filled with freezing snow that came up to his shins.

  “Connor, get back here!” Logan shouted. But Connor ignored him, running hard through the snow at the back of the hotel, weaving around snowmen and out onto the lake. Seth’s lungs burned in the freezing air, but he didn’t slow.

  “Get back here! Get off that ice!” Logan yelled. “Now!”

  “Fuck you!” Connor slid forward, his arms outstretched as if he was on skates instead of sneakers.

  Seth tried for a gentler approach. “Connor, please! Just come back and we can talk.”

  Connor ignored him, continuing away from the shore. Seth wasn’t even sure exactly where the land ended and the lake begun.

  Logan bellowed, “I swear to God, if you don’t get back here now—”

  Connor spun around. “What? What are you going to do? I hate you! I’m going to live with my dad in Florida.”

  “Have you spoken with him?” Seth asked loudly after coming to a stop. None of them had jackets on, and it was too cold to be outside. Connor faced them from about thirty feet away.

  After sputtering, Connor insisted, “He’s busy! He has a hard job!” In the moonlight, tears glittered on his cheeks even at a distance, a stifled sob making him gasp. “But he’s my dad, so he has to love me. He has to.”

  Logan exhaled sharply in a white plume. In a calmer tone, he called, “Come inside and we’ll talk about this.”

  He glanced behind, and Seth realized they’d garnered some attention, faces at windows and a few people in open doors, shivering and watching them.

  Logan called again, “Please come back.”

  Connor sneered. “Afraid of what people will think? They should know the truth. You used my mom and now you’re using him too.” A fresh surge of rage seemed to erupt. “Go to hell!” He turned and slip-stepped across the ice, the wind having blown away the snow from some patches.

  There was no dramatic craaaack! or warning sign. One second Connor was there and the next he disappeared into a pit of darkness with only a splash that echoed in the night.

  Seth’s heart slammed against his ribs, and he sprinted onto the lake, shouts echoing in the distance, Logan’s fingers clutching at his sleeve. Seth lurched forward, shaking off Logan.

  “Wait!” Logan shouted. “You’ll—”

  The ice crumpled beneath him, plunging Seth into the icy depths. The cold punched the breath from his lungs, his limbs locking, muscles rigid. His brain shouted at him to kick and resurface, but his body wouldn’t—couldn’t—obey.

  Lungs burning and body frozen, he sank.

  Fingers tugged his hair upward, and he barely felt it. As he broke through the water, he sucked in a deep, desperate breath. Logan was on his belly hauling Seth out, saying something Seth couldn’t understand.

  Then Logan was gone, and there were other people slithering across the ice on their stomachs, reaching for him and dragging him to safety.

  But Connor! Seth tried to speak, but it was only a garbled grunt. From behind him, he heard a cry, weak and high-pitched, an animal sound that sent a shiver through his soul, his limbs jerking in spasm.

  People were talking at him, tugging at him, wrapping a blanket around him. Seth�
�s lungs stuttered, and he screamed at his body to cooperate.

  Finally, he was able to turn his head to look for Connor and Logan. They weren’t there.

  Panic rocketed him to his feet. Had he been sitting on the ground? He stumbled back toward the lake, ignoring the voices around him and hands trying to stop him. Didn’t they understand? Logan and Connor were out there! Seth had to find them!

  Someone grabbed his shoulders, right up in his face. Seth blinked at him, realizing it was Matt. Matt was saying something. Seth felt like he was trying to get a radio station but was a few degrees off, the words distant and staticky.

  “Okay,” Matt said.

  Seth put everything into focusing on Matt. “What?” he rasped.

  “They’re okay. You’re all safe.” Still grasping Seth’s rigid shoulders, he looked behind him. “See?”

  Blinking, Seth made out the cluster of people beyond, Logan and Connor at the center. Relief coursed through him, and he staggered, shivering violently now, his body finally responding to his commands. With Matt’s arm around his shoulders, he stumbled to them. A siren wailed distantly.

  There were so many voices, but they were static again as Seth reached for Logan, slumping against him. There was only soaked cotton between them as Logan hugged Seth tightly, his arms trembling. Connor huddled against them, people wrapping blankets around him.

  Then paramedics were there with bright lights and very loud questions, poking and prodding. Someone was saying they were lucky they were so close to the hotel and the town, and that they’d only been in the water a very short time.

  “I want my mom.”

  Connor’s words cut through the rest of the noise, so horribly plaintive that everyone seemed to stop short. Connor said it again, his anguished wail piercing Seth’s heart.

  “I want my mom!”

  Seth and Logan reached for him together, Connor thrashing for a few moments before collapsing against them, weeping with gasping sobs that seemed far too big for his skinny little body to contain without shattering completely.