Embers of Anger (Embattled Hearts Book 1)

by Anna St. Claire

  “Thank you, Marshall. I’m riding into town with Miss Whitford. The obstinate woman planned on driving herself.” He looked down at the stack of papers on the side of his desk. “I haven’t read through these. Is there any further word on the absconders spotted in the area?”

  “Nothing more yet.” Marshall gave a concerned look as he put down the ledger. “And we have gotten no closer to finding our own deserter. Wherever Private White has gone, he’s eluded all of our tracking efforts. He is either good… or damned lucky. We have all others accounted for either in sickbay, dead, or working.”

  “Well, that is concerning.” Absently, the colonel rolled a pen in his hand and looked out the window. “He cannot have just disappeared into thin air.”

  Jackson felt like he was missing something. The hair on his neck prickled, but he attributed it to the worry he had over Ella. “Perhaps these defectors met up with him. They could have done something to him. Might be a question to ask if we can capture any of them alive, this time. They weren’t supposed to kill those two men.”

  “Okay, I will look after things here, but could you do me one favor?”

  “Sure. Well, on second thought, I will try.” Laughter crinkled his brow. “What would you like? No, I am not bringing any women out here.” He had no idea what to expect from Marshall. This should be good.

  “I only want some of Miss Sara’s homemade cinnamon rolls. Just thinking about them makes my mouth water. Just thinking about her makes my mouth water!” Marshall broke out in easy laughter. “Sure, you cannot tuck her in the back of the wagon and bring her back?”

  His shoulders relaxed. “No, yes… I mean, I will bring you the cinnamon rolls. Just keep things hopping here.” Jackson pulled his hat off the hook, a smile on his face and a new pep in his step as he took off to join Ella.

  Ella stirred feelings in him. He had almost kissed her in the barn. It wouldn’t do to mix business and pleasure. He needed to get his baser instincts under control.

  Although General Burnsides had no care about it, he felt it wasn’t the greatest of ideas to get involved with these townsfolk. And, with tracks already on his heart, he wasn’t eager to repeat that.

  Ella felt for her small derringer tucked in its hiding place on the side of her leg. It was habit. She felt safer already just knowing Jackson would ride with her.

  She had heard about the women that were accosted and the one that was attacked. Too many details of that had gone all over town. Don’t these Yankees know that some things just are not discussed?

  “Okay, Bess, let’s keep it steady, old girl.” She smiled shyly at Jackson, thinking about the first time she saw him. “Sara likes getting our eggs, but I doubt she wants them scrambled.” Flicking the reins, she guided the wagon down the road. His nearness was comforting. It was much nicer already with company on this trip.

  Any noise or movement on the side of the road caused Bess to jolt. She became edgy in the same spot on each visit lately, so Ella anticipated it and held on tight. Probably a nest of animals. Expecting it before Bess helped.

  Perhaps she should mention it to the colonel to see if he, too, believed it was animals.

  No, it would just bring up his need to protect her. She could handle herself fine.

  “Great job, Bess! Easy does it.” Her white-knuckled hands held the reins tight, but her voice denied any sense of panic. Cotton filled her throat—or was that fear? She was glad he was with her.

  Jackson wasn’t fooled. “Would you allow me to help? I can take the reins. Perhaps a little break would refresh you before we arrive.”

  “Well, I thought I was doing fine.”

  Jackson heard the ire in her voice. She was reacting to his offer to take the reins. He reminded himself not to be so heavy-handed. He wanted her grateful for his help, not angry or thinking he diminished her abilities.

  Biting her bottom lip and looking straight ahead, she passed the reins to Jackson.

  Bess didn’t seem to notice the difference in drivers.

  His skin tingled where their legs touched. He wondered how it would feel to touch her thigh. He itched to move his hand closer but decided against it. She was gripping her seat tightly, and they weren’t going fast. Best keep his hands to himself.

  He cleared his throat. “I noticed the disturbance in the bush area, too. Probably wild animals, maybe a deer.”

  His mind remained on those bushes back there—certainly something he needed to check out. That was not a deer; it made way too much noise. If she had not been with him, he would have stopped and checked, but her safety was more important.

  As she got closer to town, Ella shared a startling thought. “Colonel, are the people in town aware that you are staying at Silver Moon—you and your men?”

  “I didn’t pass information around town, but we both know that once The Mercantile hears that I have been setting up the perimeter on your plantation… well, I’m sure it will make its way around.”

  If it hasn’t already gotten around. That is one gossipy old woman at The Mercantile. With sudden clarity, he realized that in trying to both protect Ella and do his duty, he might have created gossip that could injure her.

  Jackson cleared his throat. “But your reputation will not be affected. My word.”

  No, I don’t want to ruin your reputation, but I would like to kiss you, hold you. I cannot get you off of my mind. I am unbelievably attracted to you. Heaven help me.

  Why had he promised to guard her reputation?

  Jackson, I was wondering what you think of the South. The land and people, I mean.”

  “Well, until we came to New Bern, this war held nothing for me but pain and suffering—seeing men die and killing.” He looked at her. “Then I met someone that made things very interesting for me.”

  “Oh.” Unsure of his intent, she ventured further. “Could you describe interesting?” She looked down and clasped her hands in her lap, still a little miffed at his heavy-handedness and unwilling to look his way.

  “Well, yes. I could.” He looked over at Ella and shifted the reins to one hand. With the other, he touched her chin, shifting her attention to him. “I find you interesting, Ella.”

  Her eyes widened. A fluttery feeling stirred in her stomach, actually lower than her stomach. She fought to subdue her feelings. “Well, I find you overbearing, Colonel Ross,” she huffed in response and pushed his hand away. “Suh, you overstep…you insisted on driving without a care to how it made me feel. And what if Bess doesn’t like your driving? I cannot afford any more disasters like broken baskets of eggs or damaged vegetables.” She wagged her finger at his face. “And there’s another thing. You don’t need to chauffeur me. I can drive my buggy. I’ve been doing it since I was twelve.” Ella stopped talking when she saw the look on his face. What?

  He was staring at her with a curious look. It was not the look of someone who had just received a tongue-lashing. She felt conflicted and accused him of things she wanted to feel. Truth was, she liked the way he made her feel. He slowed then stopped the rig and she didn’t object.

  They were alone. She looked at him, her breath coming in short, rapid bursts.

  Jackson leaned in, his lips softly brushing hers. A delicious shiver moved down her spine, and she offered no resistance. His hands moved inside her cloak, then down the sides of her arms. Fighting the feelings, she was experiencing, she tried to push back, but he was holding her arms, gently pulling her towards him. They inched her closer and closer to him. She could smell leather and sandalwood. Oh my, it’s almost overpowering. No longer trying to restrain herself, Ella relaxed, and time seemed to stop.

  His mouth moved to her hair and he nibbled on her ear. It sent delicious feelings down her body, down to her toes. He moved to the other ear, his kisses burning a trail as he moved to her neck. His soft caresses elicited gentle moans as his mouth covered hers, this time with more intensity. His teeth gently nipped at her bottom lip, enticing her, and she opened her mouth, gaining his slick, warm t
ongue entry. As it swirled around hers, she boldly met it with her own, the kiss becoming more intense, their breaths intermingled and frenzied.

  She knew she should stop this, pull back, but she wanted his kiss, his touch. Ella felt the warmth of his hands caressing her breasts, rubbing, sending shivers down her neck and awakening her to a warm moistness between her legs. Her body was responding in ways unfamiliar to her.

  Jackson stopped kissing and touched his forehead to hers, then gently unbuttoned the top buttons of her gown. She could not react. With a few more scalding kisses to the base of her neck, he moved to her breasts, his breath heating her skin. Her hands reached for his hair, twining her fingers within it, toppling his hat off. Still kissing her breasts, he leaned her down on the seat, his upper body covering hers. They stopped for a breath, and this time, she moved in and kissed him.

  Realization of what was happening slapped her senses aware. Not this, and not here. What if someone saw them? Her palms against his chest, she pushed back forcing Jackson to lift his head and meet her gaze, chests heaving. Scrambling, they righted themselves.

  “I apologize. I should have never taken such liberties. But I find myself attracted to you, fiercely attracted to you, Ella.”

  Whap!

  Ella gave him everything she could muster in that slap across his face.

  “What the hell?” He pulled back, his hand covering the side of his face.

  “What? You want to know what? You…took advantage of me, suh. I am shamed!” Her breath came in bursts as she scrambled to explain the slap for a kiss that she wanted. “You have laid claim to my property, and now you are trying to take over my person. And you are a Yankee! No! I cannot allow it.” She turned away, her chest rising and falling, as red heat moved up her neck.

  “I said I apologize. You didn’t object during that kiss. Why did you have to slap me? You were enjoying it as much as I was.”

  “That isn’t true. You…” She couldn’t finish. Truth was she had enjoyed it. Her face flushed red as she tried desperately to hold back angry tears. “I’ve just never been kissed…well…like that. And, I’m not a woman of loose morals.” She added that quickly, unwilling to let him know this was her first kiss.

  “A beautiful woman like you, never kissed… properly?” He shook his head and looked hard at her. “You should be kissed. And I would never think you to have loose morals. Now, please don’t be angry with me. I don’t want eggs sailing my way.” A smile lit up his face.

  “Well, I am…no, I’m really not upset. My emotions are a little…confused.” They are new. I want to be furious with you, Jackson Ross, but no, I’m definitely not angry.

  She licked her lips and looked over at him.

  “Ella, I have feelings for you. I am not saying that what I did was right. But I will say that what we did felt right. Maybe this was not the place, but it’s the first good opportunity I have had to kiss you, and I’ve needed to kiss you for a long time.”

  She sat still, taking in what he had just said. Her feelings were in disarray. She had enjoyed his caresses and his kisses. This war had not given her an opportunity to properly court any boys.

  Jackson had stormed into her life. Now he was stealing her heart.

  Seeing her lick her lips nearly undid him. His body reacted. The discomfort of his tight britches reminded him of her influence over him. He had not planned on any of this, but she ruled his brain. I want to kiss you again. I want more with you.

  “I apologize, Miss Whitford, but not for finding you attractive. Nor for wanting to kiss you…”

  Bess snorted and jerked the wagon. That gained their attention, and they both looked at the horse. Did she see something? He looked around. Nothing. Well, we needed to come to our senses.

  “She must have grown bored,” Ella’s smiling eyes searched his face, a grin lighting up her own face.

  Jackson chortled. He reached up and touched the spot on his face, his cheek still fresh and stinging from her slap. Well, if the cost was that slap, he felt he had gotten a deal. He wanted to know her, know her passion.

  For now, it would have to wait.

  Jackson picked up the reins and looked around. No one was about, so they had not been seen. Good. The last thing he wanted was to compromise her. He should have never gotten so carried away. What was he thinking?

  “Perhaps the middle of the road to New Bern is not the best place to have expressed my interest. I ask for your forgiveness, Ella, sincerely. I can only plead that I was swept away by your beauty.”

  Looking up, he noticed the sun high in the sky. It was noon. “We need to get going if we want to get back by nightfall. I don’t believe this is the best place to be at night.” Clicking the inside of his cheek, he urged Bess onwards. He thought he saw a small smile before Ella turned her head and looked ahead.

  He tipped his hat to the ladies that passed by them as they came into town and caught the side looks of a couple of his buddies. It was important to address that later. Sometimes good-natured teasing was misunderstood. Jackson would make sure that no one made comments about Miss Whitfield. He dropped her at The Griddle and promised to return soon, before moving Bess across the street to his quarters.

  Alone, he could think. He had not expected her fury. Damn, he had given no thought to how she might feel, and that made him feel like a cad. He glanced over. She didn’t seem angry now. His feelings towards her were becoming a force, and he needed more control. Still, that kiss had been very satisfying. He smiled. No question there was smoke between them. He looked forward to the ride home. He missed her, and that was a feeling he hadn’t had in a very long time.

  It scared the hell out of him.

  Chapter 14

  Ella almost ran into The Griddle. Sara was finishing up an order in the back, so Ella signaled to come up to the front. “Hurry,” she mouthed, looking behind her out the window.

  It took what seemed like an inordinate amount of time, but Sara finally finished and came up to give her hugs. “It’s been over a week. How are you holding up?” Sara winked at her as she made for the kitchen. “I’ll be right back. Let me put these few dishes in the sink.” Sara pushed through the half-doors and they swished back and forth in her wake.

  Not sure what to make of the wink, Ella was taken back. What in the world was Sara communicating? Oh, never mind. She was worried Jackson would come back before she got to talk. “Just hurry!”

  Ella saw him come down the steps to his headquarters on his way to The Griddle. “Damn!”

  When Sara looked up sharply from the kitchen doors, Ella realized she had cursed out loud. She always tried to keep those words to her thoughts—ladies didn’t curse, her mother would have said. Heat flamed up her neck.

  “Sorry, Sara, but hurry.”

  “What is so important that you have to defame yourself with such words?”

  “Come on, Sara. It’s me. We both think those words. Stop trying to make me feel bad. It’s not like I cursed in your daddy’s church.”

  She looked back out the window. Relief was evident when she saw Colonel Ross stopped by some young officers to talk about something. “Sara, look! They’re back.” She waved her friend over to her side.

  Sara walked over, and Ella immediately turned back to watch out the window. “He’s home!” she whispered loudly, the excitement nearly ripped the words from her mouth.

  “He…who?”

  “Sara…don’t…oh!” With her mouth open in an O, Ella’s voice lowered her whisper, “Nolan.”

  “Nolan? My Nolan?” Sara’s voice was barely audible. She scrambled to get a better view.

  “Yes, but he is leaving in two days. If you want to see him, you will need to—” she paused and checked to see if Jackson was still detained. “Come out to the house. I’ve thought of your excuse.” Ella leaned in, her heart beating fast. She was nervous.

  “But what can my reason be to go there? You bring me supplies. And I have my restaurant.”

  “Tomorrow is Sunday
. You're closed. It’s been a long time, and you are coming out to help me get started on canning. Besides, you need to leave this building now and then. You work downstairs all day and you live upstairs.” Proud that she had thought of what she felt was the perfect reason, Ella beamed.

  “But what will we can? You bring me all of your extra food to sell.”

  “Oh!” Ella felt deflated. Sara was correct. There was nothing they could can. A conversation outside the restaurant drew her attention. “Tarnation! He’s already back.”

  The door jangled open and in walked Colonel Jackson Ross. He looked at Ella and then at Sara. “Did I interrupt something?”

  “Why no, Colonel, suh.” Sara chortled. “We were having a little girl talk is all. Ella, I’ll be back in a moment.” Hesitating, she turned and gestured to her friend. “Would you mind helping me, dear?”

  Ella nodded. She pushed her baskets away from the edge of the counter and started after her.

  Sara stopped and turned around. “Oh, bring the eggs, Ella. We can put those away and I can pay you from my office.”

  “Sure, glad to.” Ella tittered, “We should be right back.”

  The doors swished behind her. Ella looked around at the very pristine kitchen. Even the dirty dishes Sara had brought back only minutes earlier already soaked in a sudsy sink. How does she manage this? It’s incredible.

  An arm reached out and pulled her towards the pantry. Without a word, Ella complied. “Shhhh!” Sara reminded. She held her finger in front of her lips, and then, pointed back towards the dining room.

  “So,” began Ella, “I need to let you know. Nolan was very sick when he came home. Ol’ Indie has been at the house trying to get him well. I’ve been afraid to leave the house. Today, when I tried to leave, he came with me!” She nodded towards the swinging doors. “I cannot get rid of him.”

  “It must be very stressful. Help me think of an excuse to my being out there, and so soon after this visit. I know! I will bring a birthday cake out there for Aiden. His birthday is this week, right?” She winked and smiled triumphantly, slapping her hands against the pleats of her skirt.