The Daughter He Never Knew

by Linda Barrett

  Jason felt Katie’s head move up and down against him. Then she turned partway and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Lila startled—her jaw dropped, her eyes widened—and Jason understood that his child, whom he’d observed only as an outgoing and vigorous youngster, was now a frightened little girl.

  Lila leaned over and kissed their daughter’s cheek, her own smooth skin so close to his mouth he could barely breathe. He fought the instinct to slide his lips across the silky surface and gather her in his arms, right next to her daughter.

  “Everything’s fine, Katie,” Lila crooned. “Everything’s fine.”

  The child nodded.

  “Remember long ago I told you that your daddy…”

  “Went away on a trip,” the child continued, allowing her thumb to slide from her mouth. She raised her head and looked at Jason. “But you got lost, and…” She sighed. “Very, very lost. And couldn’t find your way home.”

  How could he make an eight-year-old understand? “Not exactly lost, sweetheart. I was searching for something. Something that was extremely hard to find.”

  She remained quiet as she considered his statement. “Did you find it yet?” she finally asked.

  “Oh, yes. I certainly did. Definitely.”

  Katie’s smile was followed by her cheers. Back in normal form, she bounced from his lap onto the couch next to him. “So you don’t have to go away anymore, right?”

  He glanced at Lila, saw her face pale as she waited for his response. His presence would shake up her life, and they both knew it. But a shake-up would suit him just fine. What was the old saying about all being fair in love and war? She may have matured to womanhood in his absence, but Lila was the same sweet, bright-eyed girl who’d made his blood roar through his veins. The girl whose smile could turn him into mush. The only girl he’d ever dreamed about and who’d ever shared dreams with him. The only girl who’d believed that anything was possible together.

  How could he consider walking away when he’d just discovered his daughter? When he’d made so many new beginnings with his family? With Lila?

  Lila. It always came back to Lila.

  He spoke to Katie, his words aimed at both females in his life. “I intend to be here for a very long time, Lady Katie. Do you know why?”

  She shook her head.

  “Because I’m your daddy forever and ever, and I love you.” He leaned over, rubbed noses with her and kissed her again. “You can count on that, sweetheart.”

  He raised his head and captured the blue-eyed gaze of the woman who perched in his heart. “And so can you,” he said quietly.

  LILA LEFT SEA VIEW HOUSE on legs made of rubber. What had he meant by those last words? She moved like a robot, absently noting that dusk was settling in. More time had passed than she’d anticipated when she’d first arrived. She stowed Katie’s bike in the trunk, then leaned into the back seat to fasten her daughter’s seat belt, glad that Jason was driving Casey home.

  What had he meant? she asked herself again. And why should she care? In fact, she didn’t. Not at all. If Jason still had feelings for her, he’d have to get over them. Just like she’d gotten over him. People did it every day…they simply put the hurts behind them and marched on. And if they were as lucky as she was, they’d find a happy ending.

  “Mommy! Is Grandma feeding us at the restaurant again tonight?”

  Lila wished the answer was no. But Friday evening was the designated family dinnertime at the Lobster Pot and had been for years. “You bet, sweetie. But first, we’ll clean up at the house.”

  “Is Daddy coming, too?”

  Oh, boy! She glanced into the rearview mirror and winced at the eager expression on her daughter’s face. “Not tonight, Katie. But you’ll see him tomorrow at your game.”

  Katie’s mouth tightened, and Lila braced for an argument or at least a question-and-answer session. But none came. Katie sat back looking thoughtful.

  Lila focused on her driving, grateful for the reprieve.

  “Mommy?”

  A short reprieve.

  “Hmm?”

  “You don’t have to buy me a piano anymore.”

  Uh-oh. She didn’t have to ask why.

  “I’m going to Daddy’s house after school every day from now on and use his. He said I could. And we can play together,” Katie prattled on.

  A rock settled in Lila’s stomach. “We’ll see, Katie. We’ll see….”

  In the mirror, Katie’s happy face morphed by stages into a thundercloud as Lila’s words penetrated. “That’s the worst answer. I hate, ‘we’ll see.’ And Daddy said I could go! He said I could….”

  Lila pulled into her driveway next to Bart’s Lincoln. She could feel a headache coming on. She parked, got out and took Katie’s bike from the trunk as her daughter scrambled around the car to her.

  “But I want to go to Daddy’s house…”

  “Enough!” said Lila. “I heard you. And we’ll figure something out later. Right now, please put your bike away.” Her headache sharpened to the same degree as her voice. She rubbed her temple.

  Katie glared at her as they waited for the garage door to rise. After Katie positioned her bike against the wall, Lila motioned to her. “Come here a second before we go in.”

  Katie, suddenly looking unsure of herself, trudged toward her mother. “What?”

  Her snippy tone was so unlike her normal self that Lila wished Jason had never set foot in Pilgrim Cove. Everyone else might be pleased that he was back, but his presence was already complicating Lila’s life. Katie—usually happy and cooperative—was looking at her own mother with anger and suspicion. Lila bent closer to her daughter.

  “You’ve had a big, big day, haven’t you?” she asked in a soft voice. “It’s not every day that a girl meets her dad for the first time.”

  She’d caught Katie’s attention. Interest replaced fear in her daughter’s eyes, and Lila continued speaking. “Daddy is not going to disappear again,” she said, gently pulling the child to her. “You heard him yourself. He’ll be here for a long time and you’ll see him often.”

  She felt Katie’s weight against her as the girl relaxed, felt two small arms come around her waist. That was more like it. “So we’ll set up a schedule of when you go to Sea View House,” she continued as she began stroking Katie’s hair. “I have to know where you are every day. You just can’t take off all by yourself whenever you want.”

  “I’m not all by myself. Casey’s with me. And sometimes Sara.”

  Her daughter never gave in without an argument. “None of you guys are allowed to disappear without telling anyone. Got it?”

  “O-kay,” Katie sighed. “Just put Daddy on my schedule every day.”

  Lila chuckled. “Come on in,” she said, leading the way through the inside door to the brightly lit kitchen. “I bet Papa Bart is wondering what’s taking us so long.”

  Her grandfather answered from his seat at the table, where the newspaper lay open to the daily crossword. “I’m as curious as a cat,” he said. “And as hungry as a bear.”

  And had eyes like a hawk. Lila saw his glance move from Katie to herself and back to his great-grandchild.

  “How are my girls today?”

  “Guess what?” asked Katie, dancing to the man she adored and who adored her, and plopping herself on his lap.

  “What, Katie girl?”

  “I got a daddy. That’s what.”

  “You have a daddy,” said Lila automatically.

  “Well, of course you do!” replied Bartholomew Quinn.

  “I have a daddy, just like Sara. Just like Casey.” She began to giggle. “And you know what else, Papa Bart? It’s Casey’s uncle Jason! That’s who! And I’m glad!”

  Her grandfather’s sharp gaze pierced Lila. And she nodded, quickly filling him in whenever Katie took a breath.

  “Wonderful! Wonderful.” He rubbed his hands together, his eyes glowing. “Let’s get this show on the road. The family’s waiting.”

 
THEY WERE ALL WAITING at the corner table nearest the kitchen. Although family members might have dinner at the restaurant on other evenings, on Friday nights, the corner table was the gathering place. Not that Maggie or Thea ever remained seated all the way through the meal. But the standing dinner date meant everyone got to see everyone else at least once a week.

  What was it about her granddad that commanded attention? Lila watched Bart approach the group, go from person to person shaking hands, slapping shoulders, giving hugs. Asking questions as though he hadn’t seen them in years. Taking inventory. That’s what he was doing. He was checking up on the Quinn-Sullivan-Cavelli branches of his family’s tree.

  Her aunt Thea and uncle Charlie were there as well as Charlie’s dad, Joe, who still helped run Cavelli’s Auto Body Shop. Her cousin, Andy, was with them. He was a senior at Pilgrim Cove Regional High and would be graduating in two weeks and going to Boston University. And that made a total of three sons in college at the same time for the Cavelli family. Three young men who could take apart a car’s engine or bus tables at a moment’s notice.

  “Hi, Dad,” Lila greeted her father with a kiss on the cheek.

  Her father stood, pulled her close and led her in a dance around the table.

  “Wow, you’re in a good mood,” said Lila. “What’s happening?”

  “We’re coming to the end of a great school year. I’ll tell you about it later.”

  He didn’t have to. His satisfaction was clear to anyone who cared to look. Tom’s leadership as athletic director of the high school had made a difference not only to the teams, but to the entire school. Her dad’s promotion was well deserved, and he had Rachel Goodman-Levine, the new assistant principal, to thank for pushing his name forward.

  Tom twirled her out, then pulled his wife up. “Maggie, Maggie,” he sang, as he waltzed with her in the aisle. Her mom’s complexion turned pink, and she laughed like a girl. A pretty girl with her honey-blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, like her daughter’s. Lila smiled, enjoying the natural camaraderie between her parents.

  Nine seats surrounded the table. When her cousins and brother were home, there were more.

  “Where are Adam and Sara tonight?” asked Maggie, now released from her husband’s arms.

  “At home,” Lila replied. “He thought Sara was coming down with a cold and wanted her to have an early night. I’ll call him later.”

  “He’s such a good father,” said Maggie.

  Lila nodded briefly. Her mom was right. The love Adam felt for his daughter was obvious. He was a family man. A dependable family man. Unlike another man who’d insinuated himself back into her life.

  Her nails dug into her palms and she winced, then quickly uncurled her fingers. She wouldn’t think about Jason. Especially not about how happy he’d made Katie today. Of course, the novelty of reunion was still fresh, she reminded herself. Jason had no idea what parenthood entailed. Really entailed. And Katie had no idea what having a dad was all about. What it was like to have a man in the house who would not indulge her as much as Papa Bart did. To have two people—a dad and a mom—who would share the responsibility of taking care of her.

  Well, Lila would experience that sharing as soon as she and Adam got married. As for Katie…she’d have two dads. From zero to two in the time it had taken Jason Parker to say “Remember me?”

  Damn it! She wouldn’t cry. No maudlin scenes for her. Thank goodness for her family. They’d keep her mind occupied, and no one more so than Katie.

  Lila chose the seat next to her daughter’s. Tom sat on Katie’s other side. No one used a menu.

  “Do you know what you want, Katie?”

  “Yup. Chowder, please.”

  A tureen of clam chowder was always brought to the family table. It was one of the Lobster Pot’s specialties.

  “What else? Fish and chips? Clam cake? Hamburger?”

  Katie leaned against her chair and shook her head. Then she looked Lila directly in the eye, her megawatt smile stealing Lila’s breath. “Mommy, I’m so happy! Hap-py, hap-py. I don’t want to eat.” The little girl sighed deeply, and a dreamy expression crossed her face as she quietly gazed around the table.

  Lila watched her daughter’s uncharacteristic behavior. When Katie was happy or excited, she usually shouted from the rooftops. This reaction was different.

  She wasn’t the only one to notice and a quiet settled on the table as one by one each family member’s attention focused on Katie.

  Tom spoke first. “Did you hit a home run today, Katie-girl?”

  The child shook her head back and forth. “Tomorrow’s the game, Grandpa.”

  “And I’ll be there cheering you on!”

  The girl beamed at him. “And you know who else, Grandpa? My daddy! Daddy’s coming to the game, too.”

  The quiet turned to a surprised silence as every person stared at Katie first, and then Lila.

  “You mean Adam, don’t you?” asked Maggie in a soft voice tinged with anxiety. “Sara’s daddy who will soon be yours, too.”

  “No! No! Not Adam,” protested Katie. “I don’t need Sara’s daddy anymore. I got my own now, and he’s coming to the game. Sara has a dad, and I have a dad.”

  Lila filled them in on the visit to Sea View House. “Jason is definitely in the picture with Katie,” she said as though reporting a news story.

  “But for how long?” asked Maggie, her mouth tightening. “He’ll run back to California at the end of the month. Which is just as well if you ask me.”

  “Mom!” said Lila. “That’s enough.”

  Maggie’s mouth thinned as she nodded.

  Katie spoke up. “But my daddy’s staying a long, long, long, long time, Grandma. He said so. And I’m going to see him every day.” From happy to troubled in the space of a blink, the quaver in Katie’s voice was audible.

  Lila’s own heart squeezed. She leaned over and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “That’s what he said, sweetheart. And he’ll definitely be at your game tomorrow.”

  Katie’s eyes cleared. She turned to her grandfather and started chatting about her team. Katie had great respect for Tom, the coach, and their conversation would continue for a while.

  “Let it be, Mom,” said Lila quietly.

  “Not on your life!” replied Maggie. “There’s too much at stake.” She glanced at her watch and started to rise.

  “Keep out of it, Margaret!” Bart’s voice boomed across the table, and Maggie froze in position. But not for long.

  “I will not keep out of it! I’ll talk to Sam and Matt. They’ll see reason even if the boy won’t.”

  The boy. That’s the way her mom thought of Jason. The boy who left her daughter when she’d needed him most. The irresponsible boy. The boy Maggie wouldn’t call by name.

  Lila signaled their server. “Please make my order to go. My daughter and I will be leaving.” She stood up and reached for Katie. “Come on, puss. Let’s make sure your uniform’s clean, and maybe we’ll have a big storytime before bed tonight.”

  Without a protest, Katie stood and raised her arms to be carried. Surprised by the silent request, Lila hoisted the child to her hip. “Man, are you growing!” She exaggerated her daughter’s weight by bending her knees, causing Katie to giggle and hold tight. Much better.

  She turned toward her family and this time, it was she who glared at her mother before transferring her gaze to her granddad. “I see two stubborn people who don’t know enough to mind their own business. I’m telling you both, stay out of my life.”

  Her mother’s expression set into stone. But Bart leaned back, hands up in mock defeat. “That’s exactly what I was telling her, wasn’t I?” His protested innocence would have made Lila laugh ordinarily, but the circumstances were far from amusing.

  “I don’t trust either of you.” Lila lowered Katie to the floor, took her hand and their dinner, and walked out of the restaurant.

  She breathed deeply as soon as she stood in the crisp night air. Sweet New Eng
land springtime air. Stars twinkled in the dark sky. The noise of the restaurant became fainter as she and Katie walked to the car. Funny how she could be surrounded by family who loved her and still feel that she was alone in the world. Alone and invisible.

  Her mom didn’t see her as she was. Maggie still thought of her as a helpless teenager with a child to raise. As for her granddad, well, he offered unconditional love no matter what was happening. They both, however, definitely had their own agendas, definitely for her own good! That’s what they’d both say. She sighed in exasperation as a veil lifted from her eyes and consciousness.

  She would no longer allow herself to be buffeted by the forceful personalities in her family. No more taking the path of least resistance to avoid an argument. She wasn’t a nineteen-year-old with a new baby anymore, so relieved when her granddad intervened between her and her mom. She was a grown woman now. It was time for her to decide her own future, to decide what was best for Lila and her daughter.

  She secured Katie in her seat belt and slid into the driver’s seat, her hands on the wheel. Her engagement ring sparkled in the moonlight coming through the window, and her heart warmed with affection for the man who’d placed it there. She’d call Adam as soon as she got Katie into bed.

  SARA MADE HIS LIFE worthwhile. Adam finished the bedtime story, kissed his daughter on both cheeks and on her belly to make her laugh, and tucked the cover around her.

  She smiled up at him. “Won’t it be fun when Katie and Lila come to live with us? I can’t wait to have a sister.”

  “I’m glad you’re so happy, sweetheart. I’m happy, too.”

  She nodded and yawned. “Good.”

  Before he left the room, he positioned the door to remain partly open. All the bedtime rituals he and Sara had developed since Eileen had died.

  Look forward, not back. His mantra for personal survival. He turned his thoughts to Lila just as the phone rang. He glanced at his watch and smiled. With an eager step, he went into his home office and checked caller ID.