The Daughter He Never Knew

by Linda Barrett

  “Hi, Lila.” He sat back in his large leather chair, ready to reconnect with the woman who would be his wife in the not-too-distant future. “Is Katie tucked away for the night, too?”

  “She fell asleep as soon as she hit the pillow. But not before reminding me about tomorrow morning’s baseball game.”

  “I’m not sure Sara should go,” he replied, his stomach tightening. “She still has a runny nose.”

  “Any temperature? Any chronic coughing? Sore throat?” Lila’s cheerful questioning wasn’t what he expected. “If the answer is ‘no’ to all three items,” she continued, “let her play. A few sniffles don’t warrant a day in bed, and Sara won’t want to be left out.”

  He wished he could adopt that carefree, confident attitude Lila managed, but it was hard for him. “It took me a full thirty minutes to choose a children’s cold medicine at the pharmacy yesterday.”

  “Probably because you really know what all those ingredients mean!” He heard Lila chuckle. “Medical school, even veterinary school, will do that to you, I suppose.”

  He felt a reluctant grin cross his face. “You always manage to make me laugh. I don’t know how you do it. But, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. It’s what we do for each other, isn’t it, Adam?” Her cheerful tone had become quieter, more serious. “We help each other find balance and make life work.”

  “Yes,” he said without hesitation. “We make a good team, Lila. And Sara and Katie are happy. I’m happy.” Although his relationship with Lila was different than with Eileen, he wasn’t lying. He envisioned a future with Lila, and he was content. More content than he’d been in three long years.

  LILA HUNG UP THE PHONE in a thoughtful mood. Marriage was a team effort. She’d just never thought about it that way before. Of course, she’d had no experience with the married state, and Adam had. Perhaps teamwork was the key. A sensible approach. Rational. Organized.

  Unexpectedly, a full-color picture of her parents came to mind. Sensible? Her mother? Lots of laughter and noise there. But each relationship was different. Her aunt Thea and uncle Charlie’s was calmer. Maybe.

  Did her past relationship with Jason count as an example, or did teenage hormones rule out any semblance of normalcy? When it came to Jason, she didn’t know what to think. She suddenly realized, however, that Adam hadn’t asked her about her meeting with Jason that afternoon. Well, his mind was on his daughter, and he was distracted.

  The phone rang ten minutes later just as she finished getting undressed.

  “I forgot to ask you how it went with Katie’s father today. Was he angry when he found out about her? Should I have been there after all?”

  Lila propped a pillow against her headboard and stretched out. Adam truly cared; he wasn’t taking Lila for granted. And she needed to prepare him for Katie’s adoration of her dad. Didn’t want Adam’s feelings hurt if Katie paid him a lot less attention in the next few weeks.

  “He figured it out on his own, actually.” She told him about Katie and Casey playing piano. “And I think he was more in awe about her than angry with me.”

  “Hey, I’d be, too, to discover I had a wonderful child like Katie or Sara. So how long will he be in town?”

  “The lease is for a month. But he told Katie he’d be here ‘a long, long time.’ Maybe he figures a month seems like a long time to a child. I don’t know.”

  “A month? Hmm…a month is long enough for Katie to get used to him. And then she’ll have to adjust to him dropping in and out of her life.”

  Lila’s stomach knotted. “Do children ever get used to that?” she whispered.

  “I’m afraid that sometimes they have no choice. But…” His voice trailed off.

  “But what?”

  “Maybe we could give Katie something else to think about. Let’s set a date, Lila. Soon. A summer wedding would work for all of us.”

  Caught by surprise, she didn’t answer for a moment. “I—I think we can figure something out… Find a date that won’t leave my granddad to cope alone for too long….”

  “Oh…right,” said Adam. “I forgot that the summer is a frenzy for you and him.” He sounded disappointed.

  “I’ll see what I can arrange,” said Lila. “You may have a good point about Katie.”

  And what if Jason disappeared completely again? What if having a daughter was just a lark to him? What if…Katie was no more important to him than Lila had been? What if he broke Katie’s heart? No!

  She said good-night and hung up before she gave voice to her whirling thoughts. She heard the kitchen door open. Granddad was home. Good. Pulling on a sweatshirt and jeans, she ran to the kitchen, kissed Bart and said, “Stay with Katie. I’ll be back later.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  LILA GUNNED THE ENGINE and almost hit the mailbox as she backed out of the driveway. Hunched over the wheel, with the pedal to the floor, she wondered how a scarce three miles could take so long to travel.

  She didn’t knock at the door. She pounded. She pounded until it opened. Until Jason Parker—scruffy beard, wavy hair and wearing nothing but a T-shirt and sweatpants—stood there exuding his own damn brand of masculinity that she’d been a sucker for from the beginning—or, at least by junior high.

  “My God! What’s wrong? Did something happen…?” He tried to grab her arms, but she pulled away, then realized she was still pounding. Not on the door, but on him. And it felt good. Very good.

  She got in another thwack, then jumped back. “Do you intend to disappear on her, too? You do, don’t you? You’re going to get on a train or a plane and you’ll disappear and leave Katie with a broken heart. You’ll leave her just like you left me.” Both hands curled into fists.

  “If you had called…even once…during the last nine years,” she continued, “you wouldn’t have come back to find what you did. To such nasty surprises.

  “But no! Not Jason Parker!” She swung at him, but he was fast. She connected with the palm of his hand. “Jared was dead, so you had to disappear, too? Wasn’t there enough pain in this town? You had to provide more, didn’t you?” She wished she weighed three hundred pounds so she could bash him to the ground. Her voice would have to do.

  “Well, I won’t let you do that to Katie. Do you hear me? Not to my daughter! You’re not going to disappear and…and break her…h-h-heart. Like…like…” Suddenly, she couldn’t go on. She needed air. Twirling unsteadily, she stepped toward the door.

  And was stopped by a pair of gentle hands on her shoulders. “Like I broke yours.” A gravelly whisper. A statement of fact. A sigh filled with sorrow.

  Lila froze, then inched around. To her amazement, tears trickled down Jason’s cheek. “I am so sorry, Lila. I never meant to be gone this long.”

  Now she held up her hand. “I don’t want to know the reasons, and I don’t want your apologies, but if you want to make amends, just leave town. Leave now. Before Katie truly loves you. Before she thinks she can count on you. Before you cause more pain.”

  But now she saw that it was her words that caused the misery in his eyes. Her words that caused the telltale tic in his jaw. She saw it all, but didn’t regret saying what she had. Then Jason took such a deep breath, she heard it whoosh to his lungs.

  “I dreamed about you a thousand and one times,” he said, “and every dream was different, but none were like this.”

  A thousand-and-one dreams? And not one letter to her! Only a handful of Christmas cards to the Parkers. She started to say so, but Jason didn’t seem to notice.

  “I’m in for the long haul, Lila. I’m not going anywhere.” He tapped his forehead, then wiggled his fingers. “I have portable skills.”

  She shrugged. “You’ll get bored here, and you’ll be gone. Portable skills or not. And then I’ll be the one to console Katie. I’ll be the one who’ll have to pick up the pieces.”

  He reached over and stroked her brow. “I wish I could wipe your fears away. I wish your eyes were shining with happiness instead of clo
uded with worry. I wish I could make you believe me.”

  His fingers traveled along her jawline, his eyes held hers fast. “But I can’t give you what you want now, sweet girl. I can’t leave again. Not after being away for so many years.”

  She felt his touch near her mouth. Over her bottom lip. Could his eyes actually deepen in color? She thought so, but then she couldn’t think—couldn’t see—because his mouth gently covered hers. And, God help her, she couldn’t fight him. She inhaled his familiar aroma, enjoyed his arms around her and thrilled to the sound of her whispered name.

  Her heart thumped to a beat she hadn’t felt in forever. And when he crushed her to him, she soared high and fast like a bird in flight. A heady sensation. Delicious. Unique. And so much a part of her own fantasies, she got lost in a time warp. For a moment.

  Then she pulled back. “We’re not eighteen anymore.” Her throaty whisper carried its own message.

  “We don’t have to be. A hundred years of this wouldn’t be enough.” His words, too, came on labored breaths.

  What was he talking about? Lila shook her head. “No, Jason. We have no future. Only a past. Our daughter is the only part of that past I want to hang on to. Nothing else.”

  He stood in front of her, his hand trembling as it rose to stroke her hair. “You’re fooling yourself, sweet girl. What we just shared was not your run-of-the-mill ordinary kiss. You know it. I know it. Soon all of Pilgrim Cove will know it.”

  She laughed without humor. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re out of my system now. And if you thought that kiss would distract me from the real issue, you’ve underestimated me. I warn you, Jason, if you leave Katie in shreds when you return to Los Angeles, I’ll get a court order barring you from seeing her. I’ll hire a lawyer….”

  Jason shook his head. “Lila, Lila, Lila,” he sighed. “Haven’t you been listening at all? You won’t need a lawyer, honey. I’m not leaving.”

  She turned from him then and took a step closer to the door. No sense getting into a “yes, you are, no, I’m not” kind of argument.

  “And do you know why I’ve decided to stay?” he asked.

  She looked back, head tilted, to see his expression. His concerned, gentle expression. “Why?” she finally asked.

  “Because everyone I love lives right here in Pilgrim Cove.” He paused for a heartbeat. “And, as I’ve been reminded since I’ve arrived, everyone who loves me lives here, too.”

  His explanation was too simple. The Parker family had always lived in Pilgrim Cove, and that hadn’t kept him from staying away.

  “It took me nine years of running to realize it,” he said. “My mom… My mom blamed me for Jared’s death.”

  Lila paused. “I know. It wasn’t fair of her. I guess the pain of losing a child made her a little crazy.”

  “Did you know she couldn’t bear to look at me afterward?” He pointed to his face. “When she did, she saw Jared. Being an identical twin…can sometimes be a disadvantage. My dad made excuses for her.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know that mothers could say stuff like that to their kids. Finally, she told me to get out. I never told my dad the details. He had his hands full with her grief and his own.”

  He stared at her then. “And I never told you, either. Not even on that last morning we said goodbye.” He blinked quickly. “I simply left. And managed to survive.”

  Lila looked sharply at him. “Survive” was an accurate description. She hadn’t known exactly what the grief-stricken Margaret Parker had said to her son, and now saw that the pain of those comments still lingered in Jason’s soul. Interesting how well she could read him. “And now you’re back,” she said. “Successful career, too. But time doesn’t stand still.”

  His grin was more like a grimace. “Think I hadn’t noticed?”

  “I’m sorry for your…your exile,” she said quietly. “That you chose to stay away. But why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Why? Because maybe you’d agree with her. Maybe she was right. I should have saved him. I didn’t try hard enough.”

  “No! Don’t think that. I was there. Oh, God. Your mom was unfair.” She impulsively reached for his arm and squeezed it. “I’m so sorry, Jason. But she was. You couldn’t control your brother.”

  “I accept that now. In fact,” he said, looking at a faraway spot over her shoulder, “my dad carried a message from my mom asking for my forgiveness. At some point, she’d confessed to him. Probably when she became ill. My poor dad. So much to cope with. He loved her, then had to swallow his anger because she was dying. He stayed by her side until the end. I hope she’s at peace now. It’s all right.”

  Lila blinked and felt her own tears well. Tears for Jason. The first ones she’d shed for him rather than for herself. “I brought Katie around for visits when she was a baby. Your dad took joy in her. Your mom, too. But then she’d always cry. Now I understand why. Katie reminded her of you and that she’d sent you away.”

  She took a breath, but she wasn’t finished. “If Pilgrim Cove is where you really want to be… If it’s where you really need to be…then, welcome home. But, Jason, believe me when I say you and I are leading different lives now. We’re different people. I’m involved with someone else. Your return doesn’t change that.”

  “I’ll make a note of it,” he said. A warm smile took the sting from his words. A warm, sexy smile with the power to heat her blood. She turned away.

  “I won’t take responsibility for your disappointment,” Lila said, her hand on the doorknob. “Think carefully before you commit to this place.”

  “There’s nothing to think about,” he replied. “I’m back for good.”

  She left him then, glancing back only after she was behind the wheel of her car. He stood in the doorway, silhouetted against the light, and waved when she started the ignition. As she reached the corner, she checked her rearview mirror. He hadn’t moved.

  JASON STOPPED at his brother’s house to pick up Casey the next morning, glad to be able to do such a small favor. He knew Saturday was the busiest day of the week at Parker Plumbing and Hardware.

  “The Golden girls will work the registers today,” said Matt over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. “Dad and I will help customers, Brian’ll do stock in the morning. After lunch, he has a game.”

  “I’ll bring lunch,” offered Jason, “and take Brian to his game. Maybe I’ll have both Casey and Katie with me.”

  “Well, all right!” said Matt. “We’ll fill up the company kitchen.”

  “She’s some kid, isn’t she?” asked Jason, immediately feeling heat rise to his face. Was bragging allowed? When he saw Matt’s grin, he knew he needn’t have been concerned.

  “She’s a great kid, Jason. Never doubt it.”

  “Just l-like me!” Casey’s voice. “I-I’m a great kid, too.”

  Jason chuckled, but twelve-year-old Brian shook his head. “Was I ever like that?”

  Matt eyed his son, the corner of his mouth lifting. “You were worse.”

  “No way!”

  Jason settled back into his chair, studying the members of his family around the table. “This feels very good.”

  Casey leaned over and patted his arm as though to comfort him, then looked at his dad. “Can’t you build another room for Uncle Jason?”

  Jason chuckled, hoisted the boy to his lap and hugged him tight. “You are an amazing kid! Not just a great one. How’s that?”

  Casey squirmed away, and Jason recognized the child’s sudden embarrassment. “So let’s see how amazing you are on the ball field,” Jason added, hoping it was the right thing to say.

  The kid grabbed his glove. “Come on, Brian. Throw me a couple while they finish eating.”

  Suddenly the kitchen was quiet. “Whew!” said Jason.

  “They are lively. Keep us busy. And I love it.”

  Jason stood up as Laura walked into the room. He looked hard at the big, black cat resting on her shoulder. Laura’s eyes lit up with laughter when she
noticed, and she waved him back to his seat. “We’re not formal in this house, Jason.” She lifted the cat and set her on the floor. “Go on, Midnight. Go find Jason.”

  “Middy’s a cat, Laura, not a dog,” Jason said.

  “Well, for heaven’s sake, don’t tell her that!”

  Laughter all around, and once again, Jason enjoyed the loving vibrations in the house. “I assume Dad’s at the Diner with his buddies.”

  “Almost every morning at eight,” replied Matt. “The ROMEOs. What a bunch.” But his comment was laced with admiration. “I hope I have their energy and curiosity when I’m that age. They really do a lot of good for this town.”

  “They did a lot of good for me,” said Laura. “Not only did Bart rent me Sea View House, but they all made me feel so welcome. Lou Goodman remembered my parents from years ago. And then, of course…Matt came to fix the plumbing.”

  “One look and I fell…hard.”

  Jason believed it. Their feelings for each other showed every time Matt touched Laura’s arm in passing, every time their eyes met. He drained his coffee cup and stood up. “I’d better get Casey there on time for his warm-up.”

  “Behind the middle school,” said Matt.

  Jason nodded and walked to the door. “Oh, I almost forgot to mention—” he paused “—that I saw Lila last night.”

  Could two people hold their breath at the same time?

  “And?”

  “And I told her I intended to buy a house in Pilgrim Cove. So you’re off the hook about adding a room for me.” He winked and closed the door behind him, glad to hear their exclamations through the wall.

  At least he’d made some people happy with his decision.

  “Wait a minute.” Matt was at the door. “What did she say?”

  Jason took at moment. “To put it succinctly, she’s not crazy about the idea.”