Burning Desire

by Ami Snow

  “I want to kiss you.” He whispers.

  “Then kiss me.” I tell him, and he does.

  He kisses my lightly at first, but the longer we kiss, the more intense it gets. He begins kissing my neck, and oh it feels paradise to me. He had aroused something in me that I had never thought existed before.

  We get into my apartment, trying to control our turned-on bodies as we ascend to the stairs. Each heartbeat of mine feels like an atomic explosion. I get my keys and open the door. Quickly we get inside and he kisses me with such passion and starts caressing my ass.

  “Nice ass” He says as he smacks it softly. I bit my lip, I can’t control myself now. I’m so horny.

  We make our way into my bed as I take his clothes off, pass the bookshelf. We’re half naked as we reach my bed. He’s on top of me now. I open up his zipper and take his pants off, he does the same to my panties. He kisses me all the way down to my...

  “Oh, Daniel” I moan in pleasure. He’s so good with his tongue down there, I can’t not moan.

  “I want to make you feel good. I want to please you.” He says, and I swear I’m melting. After that, he steadies himself, I feel it, its hard and big. He puts it in position and pushes it forward.

  I moan even more, I don’t care if Mrs. Tsu hears it.

  He kisses me all over my body and I can’t help but want even more.

  Every push and pull felt like heaven. Oh Daniel. His scent is all over me. I can’t think straight anymore. We are gasping for air when we finish. He kisses me one last time in my forehead. So familiar...

  We both fell asleep after, and I dream again.

  I’m looking at the mirror, wearing the purple lingerie. I’ve dreamt this before, I know what’s going to happen. I hear the clink of the door, and just as I thought, footsteps start coming towards me. I walk to where footsteps came from and find him standing there, outlined by the streetlights. As usual I say, “Honey, you’re here.”

  I’ve expected myself to wake up, but I don’t. Instead I keep dreaming this time, and was able to finally see his face. When the man turned around, I was able to see Daniel’s face.

  I wake up suddenly. Daniel is the man in my dreams, I realize. But that can’t be true, impossible. I’ve never met him before. I turn to my side expecting him to be there, but he’s not. Maybe it was all just a dream. But I know, last night was real, if not then, why am I naked right now?

  I don’t know why Daniel snuck out of the apartment. But for all I know, maybe he’s just in a hurry. What time is it anyway?

  I look at the clock, its 8 am. I’m late for work again.

  I quickly do my morning routine and go to work.

  When I arrive at work, I find myself anticipating to see Daniel. I ask Riley, he says he didn’t see Daniel this morning.

  I didn’t see Daniel for the rest of the day. I don’t know why. Didn’t he just say to me, the other night that he loved me? Maybe it was joke. If it was, then it certainly pissedme off.

  Days pass. Daniel still hadn’t showed up at work. People are beginning to wonder where he’s been. I tell them I don’t know. Martha is spreading lies about it, that attention seeking bitch. She’s been telling everyone about Daniel going on vacation and that he’s asked her to come with her.

  “Then why are you still here?” I ask when I overhear her talking.

  “Eavesdropping much?” she says, and I roll my eyes at her. “Oh, just drop it down Rowena, I know you’ve always been jealous of me. And now you can’t handle it that Daniel prefers me. How could you ever think that Daniel would want someone like you?”

  I ignore her and walk away. I murder Martha inside my head a lot of times as I walk home. I wasn’t assigned any new work anyway.

  The next day I am called at the meeting room with Mrs. Cheng, 2 days after we’ve passed final output to her. Presenting it to the entire office had been fun, since Daniel had gotten along with almost everyone in the office. He’s even close with Julius, the office janitor. Daniel is all kinds of nice and pretty, and everyone wants to get along with him.

  I remember when we finished with our presentation that day, everyone in the room clapped. It was by far the best project I’ve had since day 1 here at Greetings Corp.. After the presentation. All of the office staff went to a bar to celebrate, I didn’t go with them.

  “Are you listening, Rowena?” Mrs. Cheng asked.

  “Yes.” I say, even though I’m not.

  “Oh there you are Daniel!”

  I look around and there he is, entering the meeting room. I want to ask so many questions, but I control myself. I don’t want to look like I’m not a professional. I don’t want to look like I care.

  “Sorry for being absent Mrs. Cheng. I was sick and I didn’t have anyone to tell you for me.” He continues talking, ignoring me, like I don’t exist at all. I don’t understand him. I thought he loved me.

  When Mrs. Cheng let us go, instead of asking him all my questions, I ignore him. It hurts me not talking to him this way, but it hurts more that he’s not talking to me. That he’s fine ignoring me this way. Riley notices my coldness towards Daniel and tried to ask me about it. I told him I wasn’t feeling well today. I advises that I go home to rest. I do as he advised.

  As I got outside the building, I realize Daniel has been following me. I turn around to look at him, my eyes very close to crying now.

  “I’m so sorry, but we can’t be together Rowena.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m not- I’m not like the others. You deserve someone who’s better than me.”

  “I don’t understand Daniel! You tell me you love me but you say we can’t be together! I don’t understand any of this at all.”

  “I’m so sorry.” That’s all he says. And I walk away.

  That night, I cry my heart out in my apartment. I shouldn’t have told him I love him too. I shouldn’t have let him inside my heart. I shouldn’t have…

  I can feel my heart breaking into several pieces as I think through all things I shouldn’t have done. I hear a knock in my door.

  “Who’s that?”

  “Its me, Rowena.” I hear Daniel’s voice from the outside of my room. I don’t get him at all. Just recently today he’d told me we can’t be together, and now here he is in my apartment.

  “I need to talk to you.” He added

  “I just don’t feel like talking.” I told Daniel.

  “Please I have something to explain to you.” I don’t talk back to him. I thought maybe if I just leave him there, he’ll go away and I can finally cry in peace. But even after midnight, he’s still at my door.

  “Okay.” I finally let him in.

  “I’m really sorry about- everything.” He says. “But there’s something you need to know about me. I’m not safe. You’re not safe with me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m not normal.”

  “What?” I am so confused right now.

  “Its something like a disease.”

  oh my god, what if…

  “Do you have HIV?” I ask.

  “No, no” He laughs and then turns serious again. “Its not that. Its not a contagious disease.”

  “Then, you need someone to take care of you.”

  “No, its not safe.”

  “But I thought it isn’t contagious.”

  “Its not safe for you.”

  “But what if I don’t care about my safety.”

  “I care.” He says, sternly.

  “You don’t know how beautiful you are Rowena.”

  “That’s not true, I’m not beautiful. Maybe I’m just not beautiful enough for you to say” I say, looking down.

  Daniel gets up from his chair and walks closer towards me.

  “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met Rowena. That’s why I’m doing this… to keep you safe..If only I had the chance..”

  “What chance?” I ask, suddenly. I look into his eyes and I know he’s hiding something from me.<
br />
  “No, you can’t know this.”

  “I can’t know wha-”

  And suddenly his lips is on mine. And I can’t think of anything else except him and me, as if the world doesn’t exist anymore.

  I take his clothes off him as he takes mine with intensity. I can feel he’s been trying for us to not end up this way again but we can’t control our bodies anymore. I sit on top of him, my breast exposed now, caressed by his hands. He opens up my zipper and I do the same to him. Within seconds, we are naked. I see all of him and he can see all of me. I am in love with this man. And I don’t care if I get hurt so bad, all I know is that I want to be with him for as long as I live.

  He lays me softly to the bed.

  “Oh honey, I’ve missed you so much.” He says and then he pushes inside me.

  I moan as pleasure take control of my entire body. I know then that I’ve felt like this before, that this is not my first time. But I can’t remember when or who.

  All my doubts are fading away like chalks in a black board. Pleasure, lust and Daniel, the only things that I can think off. And the rest of the night, that’s all we do.

  ***

  The next morning, I wake up to see I’m sleeping with a beetle beside me. Where’s Daniel? I thought as I stroke the beetle. I knew he’d be gone. Last night, last night was his way of saying goodbye to me. I feel a lump in my throat again, I feel like crying. And then the strangest thing happened.

  The beetle became Daniel, sleeping soundlessly like an innocent child. I don’t understand, what’s happening. I rub my eyes, just to make sure I’m not dreaming again. But it was real. The beetle- it turned into Daniel. He opens his eyes and gets up… He sees my puzzled expression and knows exactly what had happened.

  “What are you?!” I say to him.

  “I’m sorry Rowena- I can explain-.”

  “WHAT ARE YOU?!”

  “I told you last night…”

  “Is this the disease you we’re talking about?”

  “No,.. I’m sorry I lied to you..”

  “Lied to me? I- I’m sorry. It must be me, maybe I’m just seeing things. Tell me I’m seeing things Daniel.”

  “You’re not seeing things. Its my fault. They can’t know that you are already aware of my condition again. No, they’ll take you away.”

  again… has this happened before?

  “What do you mean again?”

  “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

  I fall silent. I don’t know what to say. This can’t be true. I feel anger rushing through my heart. I feel my eyes stinging as tears began to flow.

  “GET OUT.”

  “Rowena, I’m sorry. This is what I’ve been telling you last night! This is why we can’t be together!”

  “I said, GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT!”

  “I’ll always protect you, remember that!” Daniel says, as he picks up his clothes. He looks at me one last time and transforms into a fly and flies past my window.

  All those insects in my window. That was him.

  ***

  “Congratulations Rowena! Daniel! You’ve done very well, the investors liked your work very much! They even doubled their investments, this is good news! We have to celebrate!” Mrs. Chang exclaimed. She’s practically dancing to herself now. We are at the meeting room a few weeks after Daniel transformed into a fly and flew past my window.

  Mrs. Cheng was so happy because our project sold well, she did not even notice the awkwardness between us.

  I spent the entire day concentrating on working on the new project assigned to me, and listening to Riley talk about this guy he met at the bar.

  After work, I decide to walk home alone.

  “Do you want to get coffee or dinner?” I hear Daniel’s voice behind me.

  I don’t say anything. I don’t get him at all. I don’t get our relationship. We are worst than a roller coaster ride.

  “Rowena, you can’t keep ignoring me forever.”

  “And you can’t keep following me forever” I snap back at him.

  “Im sorry. okay? But you know why I’m doing this. You know why we can’t- why we can’t be together!” Daniel yelled suddenly, unable to conceal his feelings anymore.

  “Don’t think I don’t know that Daniel! I’ve been telling myself that for the past few weeks and still I can’t get you out of my mind! You say, you don’t want to be with me but here you are following me and asking me for dinner? or coffee? I don’t get it!”

  “I just want to protect you Rowena!”

  “Protect me from what?!”

  Daniel falls silent and I take the opportunity to walk away. I can’t take it anymore.

  I walk faster enough and I pray to God for him to stop following me. I finally reach my apartment. The moment I close the door, I cry my heart out.

  Its so unfair. Why can’t I get the one I want? Why?

  That’s when I hear someone, by the window.

  “Stop right there.” I say, getting my bat, ready to strike at Daniel.

  But instead, its not Daniel that I see. Its another man.

  “Hello Rowena. Long time no see.” He says, his voice sending shivers through my spine

  “Who are you? What do you want from me?” I say, holding my bat tighter.

  “Just an old friend. You probably don’t remember me anymore.” He says.

  I realize, he does look familiar. I do know him. He was a bulky man, with white sleeveless shirt. He was handsome, but the evil look in him would make any person cower.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Stop right there Harold!” I hear a voice behind me, its Daniel.

  “What a pleasant surprise Daniel!”

  “Who sent you here?” He asks.

  The guy laughed. “Do you really have to ask that? I know you know the answer to that question Daniel. It was stupid of you to come here again Daniel. You know it won’t be long that we’ll find out about this.”

  “Sierro.” Daniel said.

  Sierro. Who is he? I feel like an idiot, watching them both circling around each other.

  And when I blink my eye, I see a wolf where the man stood. “You’ll be a nice snack.” he says as he launches at me.

  We hit the wall hard. I feel my head throb with pain. The last thing I see is Daniel transforming into a wolf himself. I know because he’s color is different from Harold. And then I see no more.

  ***

  I dream of my husband.

  I dream of the first time I saw him.

  I was in the local cafe, writing for my book when I saw him with what seemed to be his best friend. I stared at him for a long time then, he was so handsome and perfect. I order another frap just to get more time, so I could stare at him more. I notice that wherever he and his best friend goes, they never fail to grab everybody’s attention. They are the definition of swag. Right now, both of them seem to be staring at the group of girls a few tables far from them. I realize then, who am I to want him? Look at me, I’m not even fit for the pants I’m wearing, how can I say I’m fit for him then?

  Days pass, I notice that he and his best friend kept coming there more often, so I come there, just as much. Not a month later, I make friends with him. I find out that his name is Daniel and that his best friend is named Harold. We became friends and talked about all our dreams. I told him I wanted to be a writer. He’d told me he wanted to be nothing else but happy.

  We had so many shared interests, music, books, you name it all. But Daniel had had a girlfriend then, her name was Elaine. She was tall and slim and perfect. She was fit for him and she was so in love with him, I could tell. Who wouldn’t be in love with him? She was also just as nice, and we became friends too. Not for long, the two of them broke up. I didn’t know why, but whatever reason it was, I never saw Elaine again.

  A few months later, we finally became more than friends. It was the best days of my life. At first, Harold was nice enough to hang out with us. But sooner he’s coming with Daniel became less fr
equent. And then, before he had asked me to marry him, he showed me his true nature. I was afraid at first, but I love him so much that I’m willing to take the risk just to be with him. And then we got married. No one of our friends and family came to our wedding. I have no family, I’m an orphan, and I didn’t make any lasting friendships. Daniel’s family didn’t approve of me, because I was human. They see me as a threat.