My Last

by Stefania Gil

“Wow,” I opened my eyes, “that's great.”

  “Yes,” he continued, “during the first quarter of next year, the business agreements will be established and the project design along with the plans will begin. The scale model. The preparation of the land. And so on.”

  “I didn’t know it could take so long.”

  “When you set the project yourself, no. It's all pretty quick but when a partnership is formed, it's different because they never agree to the “fair” in the partnership document since everyone wants to earn more in one form or another. This project is a proposal where there is going to be a lot of money at stake. They want to make it bigger than the one in Tuscany.”

  “I see.” I paused for a bit of beer. “You will have to travel to Hawaii. I have never gone but I plan to. When I’m over my pre menopause. Now, I’m happy with winter.”

  James smiled.

  “Alaska is a beautiful place too.”

  I looked at him funny.

  “Well, you should think about moving there for a few years.”

  “Your red shoes would not be idle.”

  “It's true,” I admitted with a grimace. “Neither the red, the yellow nor the green. They already suffer a lot when they are locked up for the winter months.”

  “Mmmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Something must be done about it. We can’t allow your shoes to suffer from being shut in.”

  Only the rib bones remained on our plates.

  James met my eyes and my girly bits fluttered.

  He came up to me and whispered,

  “I'm going to pay the bill and then, I'm going to take you home on account of needing to strip you again.”

  A tremor ran through my body and my inner volcano sparked again.

  ***

  At 8 am the next day the doorbell rang.

  I walked yawning, due to the night before being very hectic. There was a trail of shoes from my room to some corners of the house.

  I opened the door and found the second most spectacular bouquet of red roses I had ever seen. And Oliver was behind the bouquet.

  “My God!” I exclaimed. “Come in, Oliver.”

  He passed placing the bouquet on the living room table. He smiled at my reaction.

  I was glad it was Oliver who was in charge of bringing me the bouquet and not Rick. Oliver was discreet, and though he could imagine why I looked like this this morning, he wouldn’t comment.

  If it had been Rick, he would have gone straight to the kitchen to make coffee so I could tell him everything, but not before he stopped looking around to see what had happened to James.

  “Thank you, Oliver, but you should not have brought me this today.”

  “Don’t worry, Jen, they paid very well for it. With a very generous tip included.”

  I smiled as I watched him walk towards the door.

  “Merry Christmas,” he said.

  “Same to you, and thank you.”

  I closed the door and sat down in front of the bouquet.

  It was beautiful. Full of red and small dark green branches. The roses were beginning to bloom, and the odor emanating was intoxicating.

  I remembered every moment of the night before. Since I opened my door letting James enter my sacred place.

  I smiled remembering the moment with the zipper. What a stupid situation! Although if it had not been for that, I wouldn’t have taken the step by myself to have sex with James in my house. Nor thought about it.

  Sex with James was a new experience for me. Each time was more intense. He liked talking dirty to me and telling me provocative things throughout the entire process and that excited me a lot. I also discovered I was comfortable walking in front of him naked - well, naked but in heels - showing him my body. James was making me discover things about me I didn’t know, and I was making others I knew too well gradually go away.

  It wasn’t like overnight I wouldn’t be afraid of love, no, but that morning, I understood James was gradually winning me over and I was allowing that conquest because he liked me a lot.

  I had many things to overcome even if he succeeded. Perhaps I would think of giving him a definite entrance into my life. However, for that, it took time and I didn’t know how much would be enough.

  My cell phone rang. It was James.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Good morning.” I sensed his smile.

  “Thank you for the flowers. They are beautiful.”

  “It's just a reminder that you're always present in my thoughts.

  I couldn’t help blushing.

  As usual, I didn’t know what to say.

  Regardless, it wasn’t a problem, James knew how to solve my mental blocks.

  “And I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

  “You too, have a Merry Christmas. I hope you have been a good boy so Santa will bring you the gifts you want.”

  “Well, I have been a good boy. Santa gave me my gift and in advance.”

  “Oh yeah?” Like a real fool, I asked. “What was your gift?”

  “You.”

  I went silent. Absolutely silent considering my brain was in shock. That's what I meant when I said I didn’t know how long it would take for me to finally let James into my life and above all, if I could ever do it, because when he said things like that to me, all I felt was a fear so frightening it caused me to want to run to a place far away so he could never find me again.

  “You still there?”

  “Yes, I'm sorry.”

  He was quiet.

  “The fact I tell you how I feel about you, doesn’t have to make you feel obligated to respond in the same way. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, I didn’t expect that reply.”

  I felt him smile.

  “I know however, I always tell the truth and you are my best Christmas present.”

  “Okay.”

  He laughed.

  “You could be a little more expressive than ‘okay’.” He sighed when I still didn’t answer. “I'm playing, Jen. I want you to be expressive when you feel it. Not before and not by obligation. I am a man and not a child. I am ready to win you and I am well aware you are afraid of love due to the times you have been betrayed. Just as I realize your inner struggle against that fear. Everything takes time.”

  I smiled.

  “That's what I was just thinking. I appreciate every small gift you give me, the flowers I love them.”

  “Okay, that makes me happy.” I heard a little girl's voice beside him and a lump formed in my stomach. “I have to go now. I have to go play with Barbie.”

  I laughed.

  “Good luck,” I said. “And Merry Christmas.”

  “The same to you. Bye.”

  I hung up the phone and went to the kitchen to pour me an immense cup of coffee. Then I sat in front of the bouquet again. I stayed there for a long time admiring each rose petal, getting drunk on the fantastic aroma coming from the center of each one with only one thought in my mind: James.

  ***

  I slept the rest if the day. I needed to recover the energy.

  Late in the afternoon, I began with the beauty ritual every woman performs before going to a party. A long bath in the tub with aromatic salts, dry and fix my hair, make-up, choose my outfit, get dressed and finally, after almost three hours, leave the house.

  Christmas Eve would be spent with Holly's in-laws. Debbie and John, Sam's parents, had retired to Miami several years ago, although they decided to keep their house in Chicago for visiting their grandchildren and considering the house had a great sentimental value for them: they had raised their children there and said those beautiful memories were worth much more than that they could get if they sold the property.

  So Christmas was spent as a family. Before, my mother accompanied me to the parties. For Holly, it was unthinkable for us to celebrate any holiday of the year less, Christmas alone.

  So as was customary, upon entering Debbie and John's house, I found a fire in the fireplace generating a p
leasant warmth in the living room. Debbie greeted me as warmly as ever, with a small glass of her famous and delicious homemade punch. The house was invaded by the scent of the different dishes Debbie had cooked.

  She was a great woman and very devoted to her home. The dining room was bursting with food and the house was decorated completely making it really feel like Christmas.

  I was glad it was joyful even though they all looked nostalgic considering it was the first Christmas without Sam.

  Sure, everyone looked nostalgic except Holly, and then it occurred to me, maybe, Sam was sitting next to me in the living room.

  How crazy!

  Tonight would be special since Holly and I had planned to announce the new bakery at dessert. To support our celebration, Holly told me she would take dietary desserts.

  I sighed.

  There were so many good things happening I almost had to pinch myself to verify that I was not dreaming.

  I was surprised not to see Amanda, Holly's mother, at the party. I figured she wasn’t there because at Thanksgiving dinner, when Paul showed up with Josephine, Amanda almost had a heart attack. She told Holly it was not very nice for her to allow her father to bring his girlfriend while Amanda was there. The moment Holly told me, I couldn’t help but feel the familiar anger ignite in me when Amanda felt ‘offended’ by something. She used to be ‘offended’ over everything, and often, it was due to nobody thinking or acting like her.

  Amanda was a selfish, manipulative woman. Her problems were always more serious than everyone else. For her, it was absurd for someone to complain about something in her presence. She always said, “I do not understand what you're complaining about, and what do you have to say then about what happened to me?” Amanda's problems were generated by herself. She didn’t work. The pension she received, she spent in the casino. Then she would go around crying so someone would take pity on her and help her pay her bills.

  There was the psychological problem, but that was deeper and hardly anyone could understand the woman's strange way of thinking.

  So when she told my friend she was offended by Josephine's presence and if that woman returned to a family celebration, she would not be there, my friend had had enough and told her that from now on she would miss family celebrations because Josephine would always be welcome if Paul so wished.

  It was obvious Amanda was offended since she was not present tonight.

  She was missing out and she did us all a favor. Since she wasn’t there, everything was going very well without sarcastic comments or pitiful victims.

  We ate until we almost burst.

  When it was time for dessert, Holly served her new diet creations.

  “Dessert is my favorite part of these dinners,” said her father-in-law.

  “Uff, as if Grandpa, Mom makes delicious desserts, and the truth is, these last ones have been better than ever,” Claire added.

  “How are the orders coming?” Debbie asked.

  “Very well,” I said. “So much so we have great news.”

  Everyone present, focused on us.

  “As you know,” Holly began, “S & C Bakery had given me a great job opportunity, and then Jen, in the midst of an emergency with a very important florist client, needed someone to prepare dietary desserts for a party at their house. I made them and from there, many more orders began to come in” —everyone listened anxiously. “I had to give up working at S & C Bakery due to the fact I could not do the two jobs satisfactory. To my surprise, when I told Caroline and Susan, they tasted the same desserts you are eating now. They were so surprised, they proposed for Jen and me, to partner with them to set up a bakery for dietary desserts.”

  Everyone applauded with excitement.

  “That's great, Mom,” Jason said, moving closer to hug his mother. Claire was behind him.

  “And there's more,” I said, and they all fell silent again. “Yesterday we made the last adjustments to the partnership contract and, if all goes well, the bakery will open its doors in the spring.”

  They all stood to hug us and celebrate our triumph. John took out a bottle of champagne and poured it into glasses.

  Before making the toast to our new project, John said remarkably emotional and beautiful words about Holly we couldn’t help shedding a few tears.

  Later, while we were filling ourselves with sweets, we gave them more information about the new project. When we paused Paul and John gave us some wise advice.

  After midnight, we opened gifts and, Debbie had prepared hot chocolate to close with a flourish.

  I took a cup and walked into the living room when I saw Josephine and Holly talking. Josephine was, no doubt, a lovely woman. I was glad to see Paul was very happy by her side.

  When I was very close, I heard Josephine say:

  “I'm sorry, but I can’t understand her behavior,” she said very seriously, and from Holly's face, I knew they were talking about Amanda.

  “I understand, Josephine,” I said as I sat down in an armchair in front of them. “I’ve known her all my life, I still don’t understand her. I stopped trying a long time ago. Amanda is like a stick in the mud and you don’t know how to grab it, regardless where you touch it, you're going to get dirty.”

  Holly laughed. Poor Josephine laughed.

  “It's the truth,” I said. “The problem is Holly lets herself be manipulated from time to time and that affects her a lot. We are not going to continue talking about her so we do not ruin the night with unpleasant memories.”

  “You're right,” my friend replied.

  “You take good care of Paul,” I told Josephine. “I love him like a father and all I want is for him to be happy. If you can do that, you have a secure place in the family.”

  “Sometimes you're too honest,” Holly told me seriously. “Poor Josephine, don’t frighten her, what will she say about us.”

  “That you’re lovely,” she said. “You are exemplary women, in this generation we are very proud to have you and also, I wouldn’t let Paul go for anything in the world.”

  “Do you see how her eyes shine?” I said to Holly as I pointed to Josephine and her face reddened with embarrassment.

  “You're incorrigible, really,” Holly reprimanded.

  We all laughed

  Two years later, to my surprise,

  James was still in my life....

  After that good night at Holly's parents-in-law's house, the next celebration we had, was in January, when we signed the business contract for ‘No Guilt’.

  Orders for diet desserts continued to increase and we reached a point where Holly had to work from the S & C Bakery headquarters with the help of Susan, Caroline and Mary who was the lady helping our new staff S & C due to my poor friend not being able to do it alone and I had a ton of orders at the florist.

  Which was excellent, seeing as I was making enough money to buy half the flower shop that still belonged to my imbecile ex, Carl, and the offer would be so good, I was sure he wouldn’t turn it down.

  In those months, we found the perfect place to set up the pastry shop. It was in an excellent spot downtown and of course, we hired James to make the renovations, which fortunately, were not many.

  We took care of the decoration ourselves. We made a special refuge for those candy eaters who had to take care of themselves. We opted for serene colors giving the impression you were ‘at home’ eating a dessert. The walls were painted cream and pastel blue. In the display case we put simple curtains the same color as the walls. Three lamps hung from thin silver chains just above the counter and the shared space with the refrigerators for the refrigerated desserts.

  Behind the counter, everything was stainless steel. A long bar to be able to serve the orders and the coffee machine, was housed there among other things.

  We placed six iron and marble tables with matching chairs for the clients and a rectangular table-and matching table, where we placed an aluminum vase with pink and cream wild flowers, boxes of herbal tea for sale and severa
l small white dishes with tasting desserts. People had to taste in order to know what they were going to buy.

  Behind the cash register, was a piece of furniture with different compartments to store the cloth bags we ordered with the bakery emblem and an idea that had come from Holly's children, which we thought was fabulous.

  Jason and Claire, in a moment of inspiration, commented it would be something original for the bakery to sell its own T-shirts and the money from those sales would be donated to charities. So we set to work. We had all sizes —even for babies— in three colors: light pink, these funds would go to associations fighting against breast cancer; green, sales would go to the associations protecting the environment; and sales from white T-shirts, would go to the American Diabetes Association.

  At the end of the room, there was a short hallway leading to the bathroom, a small closet to store the cleaning supplies, a tiny room we set up as an office and the kitchen.

  The kitchen was spacious like S & C Bakery, with an elongated bar in the center to work more comfortably and all the equipment we needed to make the desserts.

  We hired two college girls. They were both studying to be pastry chefs and were very enthusiastic about the idea of making dietary desserts. Their training was done at S & C Bakery so the moment ‘No Guilt’ opened its doors, they already knew what to do.

  The opening was great. We advertised in the press, radio and of course, on TV.

  That day we decided to go all dressed the same. We'd gotten some beautiful cream colored dresses with a slim pastel blue belt in A. They looked a lot like dresses from the 60's.

  The official opening was at 10 a.m. at which time we were portrayed —the four of us— trying to hold a pair of scissors all at once to cut the ribbon with the big bow at the entrance door. By that time, there was a huge queue of people waiting go inside the bakery.

  It was a great moment for everyone. We were happy when we started receiving great comments from the visiting public that day.

  Everything went well, except of course, when Sam let out his ghostly jealousy and blew the bulbs in the lamps above the counter. All because, it was obvious Steve, was very attracted to Holly.