I See...Love (A Different Road #1)

by Annalisa Nicole

  I quickly unload the perishable ingredients, and then walk down the hall to our office. I pull up my schedule on my computer and take a look at what clients I have. I get an idea of how early I need to be back here so I can prep for my day. I grab a small bag and some clothes, and then head back to the van. River is standing outside the van talking on his cell phone.

  “I’ll be home in a little bit, we can talk about it there,” he says, and then hangs up.

  “Everything alright?” I ask.

  “It’s Kate. She’s having a hard day. I think you should get Josh and have him take me home,” he says.

  “I have a better idea. How about I cook the two of you dinner and we have a nice quiet evening in?” I tell him.

  I really don’t want to pull Josh away from Nina when she just got him back. That would be cruel and unusual punishment. She’s just so happy. I couldn’t imagine ruining her evening.

  “Are you sure? Kate can be a handful sometimes,” he says.

  “Absolutely, I’m sure. I’d like to get to know Kate better,” I tell him.

  “Alright, home it is,” he says, and then he gets back inside my van.

  I can tell the entire ride to his house that he’s nervous about Kate. I wish I knew more, so I could understand and maybe help.

  I pull into his driveway and Kate is waiting just outside the doorway. She has expensive looking headphones draped over her neck and she looks like she’s been crying. She’s nervously biting her nails and runs to River the second he’s out of the van. As they walk toward the house, she threads her fingers between his and leans her head on his shoulder.

  I stay back by the van to give them some privacy. River has a brief talk with her at the doorway, and then he turns to me.

  “Are you coming, Joss?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I reply, and walk toward them.

  Once Kate saw River, you could tell that she immediately calmed down. And whatever he told her calmed her down even more. I go to the kitchen to see what River has left of what I brought him earlier in the week. I take things out of the refrigerator and set them on the counter, and then get to work heating them up. River walks up behind me and cages me into the counter. I remember the first time he did that when I thought that Kate was his new girlfriend.

  “I told Kate I’d do some yoga with her before dinner. Trust me, it will calm her down and I promise we’ll have an enjoyable dinner,” he says, in my ear.

  “Alright,” I reply.

  He kisses me on the cheek, and then leaves my side. I turn around to see Kate again thread her fingers in River’s. I find myself getting a little jealous at the way they seem to connect, and a little hurt. What if I wanted to do yoga? Oh, who am I kidding, I’ve never done yoga a day in my life. I shake it off, and then feel bad that I was jealous of his sister.

  Since the meal was already cooked, it doesn’t take long to reheat. I make a fresh salad, and then set the table. River and Kate still haven’t come out of the room that they went into twenty minutes ago.

  I quietly walk over to the room and look inside. It looks like a high-tech gym. There are weights and workout equipment, and even some wooden thing that looks like the thing I see in the karate movies I watch. River and Kate are in the center of the room, each in a pose that if a gust of wind blew through here, it would knock them both over on their ass. Kate has her headphones over her ears and River looks deep in a trance. Kate’s slender body is very muscular. You can see the great control it takes for her to keep her body steady in the pose.

  As River moves from pose to pose, I find myself thinking of ways I could wrap my own body around his. His muscles are taut and a slight glistening of sweat covers every inch of exposed skin.

  Kate moves one leg in front of her bent at the knee with the heel of her foot almost touching her pubic bone. Her other leg is straight out behind her. She bends that knee upward and reaches behind her head, and then grabs her toes. Her foot is literally just behind her head. Her face and her toes turn upwards and she holds the pose perfectly still. It’s absolutely beautiful. I wish I knew the name of the pose. I wish I had the strength and stamina to do such a pose, it’s absolutely beautiful.

  I watch River’s body move into his next pose. He plants his feet, then leans backwards until his hands rest on the floor and his body is in a backbend. He raises one hand and stretches it outward. Again, I think about doing something sexual and I giggle.

  River’s head turns toward me and a half smile creeps up his face. He lowers himself to the ground, and then touches Kate on the shoulder. She removes her headphones, and then turns them off.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Dinner is ready,” I tell them.

  “It’s alright, we were done,” she says, sweetly.

  I head back to the kitchen to get bottles of chilled water and place everyone’s plates on the table.

  “Smells good, Joss,” Kate says, then cracks the top off the water bottle and takes a large drink.

  “I didn’t mean to spy on you guys doing yoga. But, Kate, that last post you were doing was just beautiful. What was it called and how long did it take you to learn it?” I ask.

  “That was a one-legged king pigeon pose, and it only took me about a year of faithful practice to learn advanced yoga poses. I can’t tell you how much yoga has saved my life,” she answers.

  “Well, it was beautiful,” I tell her, again.

  “If you want, I can start showing you some basic yoga poses and in no time at all you’ll be doing the one-legged king pigeon,” she says.

  “Sure, I’d like that,” I tell her with a smile.

  “Well, I was doing the wild thing pose and I don’t hear anyone saying what I did was beautiful,” River teases.

  Kate reaches across the table and lightly smacks River across the arm, and then digs into her meal. I wasn’t thinking what River did was beautiful. I was literally thinking of attacking him and taking him on the mat if his sister weren’t in the room.

  “Joss, maybe we can exchange favors. You teach me how to cook like this, and I’ll show you everything I know about yoga,” she says with her mouth full.

  “Deal,” I agree, and dig into my own meal.

  Kate told River and I to get out of the kitchen after we ate dinner. She said she’d do the dishes and clean everything up. River takes my hand and leads me through the house and outside. He continues down the deck and leads me out to the beach. It’s another beautiful evening, but this one without a cloud in the sky. As I hold River’s hand, I tip my head up toward the heavens, and look at all the majestic stars.

  “What do you see?” River asks.

  “I was just looking at the stars. There’s not a single cloud in the sky tonight. It’s pure black with millions of stars splattered across the sky. When I was a little girl, my grandmother told me that each star in the sky is a window. And through that window the lost souls of our loved ones can keep an eye on us. I had lost my grandfather only the year before and I had started to panic. I told her that was impossible, there had to be millions of stars in the sky. How was I supposed to know which star grandpa was looking through? What if I couldn’t find his window? Tears streaked down her face and she said it didn’t matter. She said that whichever star caught your eye first was the star he was looking through. Whenever I raise my face to the night sky, the first star that catches my eye I smile and say, ‘hello, Grandpa.’ It’s stupid, I know it’s just silly little girl stuff,” I tell him.

  River stops walking and leans his head back. I step in front of him, and then I wrap my arms around him. His warm arms wrap around me and he holds me tight. I rest the side of my head over his heart and I listen to his breathing.

  “If only I could see the stars,” he says.

  I gently pull away from him and look at him. His face slowly looks from the heavens down to mine. Softly his lips come to mine, and then he threads his hands into my hair. I can’t help but think Grandpa is looking through his window down on me with an app
roving smile.

  We make our way back to his house, and I see the pool house lights on and Kate moving around inside. We walk into the house and River leads me directly to his room and into the bathroom.

  Listening to Joss talk about the stars and windows and souls of loved ones, almost made me lose it out on the beach. It’s a good thing I needed a shower anyway from doing yoga earlier. Being with Joss has opened new doors of weakness. New doors of feelings I left on that road as a ten-year-old boy.

  I lead Joss into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I wish I could turn it on as hot as I normally do, but I know that’s too much for Joss.

  I slowly remove her clothes, and she in turn slowly removes mine. I take her hand and lead her into the shower. Pressure builds in my chest with the need for steam. It’s an uncontrollable volcanic feeling in my chest. I reach for the shower and turn it just a little bit hotter. I hear Joss grab my shampoo and squirt some into her hand. I turn and face the shower and drench my head. I back up slightly and get on my knees in front of her. Her hands come to my head and she starts to lather my hair. I wish I could come before her, face her on my knees and bare my soul to her. Would she run? Would she see me for the monster that I am?

  My scalp tingles from her touch. My heart is still breaking from her damn star story and I’m glad I’m not facing her, because I can’t stop the flood of tears that mix with the water running down my face.

  My faiblesse is uncontrollable.

  As Joss washes my hair, the tears come both unwanted by me and hopefully unnoticed by Joss. She gets on her knees behind me, wraps her arms around me, and then presses her slick body against my back. Her lips come to my shoulder as her hand slides down my body and over my hip, and then she firmly grabs my cock. I take in a sharp breath through my teeth as she strokes me up and down. Her hand is slick with shampoo and glides like silk up and down my length. My weakness is overthrown by that foreign feeling building in my heart.

  I feel her arm come between us and rest on my back. Her hand moves in small circles on herself as she moans behind me. As she strokes me, she fingers herself and it’s hotter than fuck.

  As her hand on herself speeds up, so does her other hand stroking me. Between her soft mews and her tight, slick grip on me, it doesn’t take long to throw me over the edge. I place my hand on the tile in front of me as she continues to stroke and I come in the shower. She hasn’t come yet, so I quickly turn around and scoop her up and sit her on the tiled seat along the back of the shower.

  I quickly enter her and touch her face so I can see her. Her lips part and within a minute, her insides convulse around my dick, and then she comes undone.

  We finish our shower, and then I turn off the water and wrap her in a soft towel. I dry off her body and toss the towel to the ground. I take her hand and walk her into the bedroom, and pull her into my bed. I wrap her in my arms and sigh. I fall asleep to the sound of her soft breathing and the sounds of the waves, as they crash on the sandy shore just outside my window.

  I’m woken early by an alarm on Joss’s phone going off.

  “What time is it?” I ask sleepily, pulling her tight to my body.

  “It’s only four. Go back to sleep. I need to get home to prep for my clients,” she whispers, then turns in my arm and kisses me.

  “I’ll come with you,” I tell her.

  “You don’t have to do that, go back to sleep,” she replies, and gets out of bed.

  I couldn’t go back to sleep even if I tried. I hear her getting her clothes, and then the small rustle of fabric as she puts them on.

  “I don’t have to, but I want to,” I tell her. “You can drag Josh out of Nina’s bed and tell him to take me home,” he continues.

  She crawls back in bed and her lips gently come to mine. We both get out of bed, and I grab clean workout clothes from my drawer, not caring if they match or not. We head out to the kitchen and I can smell that Kate has already been up and has made coffee. I’m not sure about Stephen, but since the accident, neither Kate nor I sleep much.

  Joss goes to the cupboard and I hear two travel mugs gently set on the counter. The fresh smell of coffee hits my nose as she pours the liquid into the cups. She goes to the refrigerator and I assume she grabs the half-and-half. I hear her twist the lids on the cups, and then one is placed in my hand. I give her a kiss and smile. I don’t understand why I thought having a relationship would never work. We work so well together.

  At her house, I wait outside for Josh while I finish my coffee. Within five minutes, Josh comes out and I hear something come from him that I’ve never heard before. He whistles a happy tune as he comes to my door and opens it. I don’t know why I didn’t realize before that he’s in love with Nina.

  Over the next few weeks, Joss and I see each other every day. Josh’s relationship with Nina has never come before work, and Josh has always been available when I need him. Nina occasionally stays over at my house upstairs in Josh’s quarters without any problems. It actually works out well when the four of us are in the same house. I feel more comfortable when Joss drives home in the morning if Nina is with her. When Josh and I stay at their house, it’s just as easy for Josh to drive us home.

  Dinner at my house with Josh and Nina, Kate, and Joss and I, have opened new foreign feelings that I’m dealing with on a day-to-day basis. Joss has invited Stephen over to join us, but so far, each time he has declined.

  This weekend, Nina and Joss have invited both Josh and I over to their house to meet their parents over dinner. I’ve never met a woman’s parents before. And I’ve been warned that Nina’s parents are like a second set of parents to Joss. So, not only do I have to meet Joss’s parents, but her best friend’s parents as well.

  Things at work have heated up and I’ve been busier than ever. It’s becoming harder and harder to leave the office at a reasonable hour, so I can still spend time with Joss. Not only that, the longer hours I work, the longer hours Josh has to work too. By working late, I’m also keeping Josh from Nina. Last week I hired a private investigator to look into Sebastien. I know that bastard is dirty. There has to be something I can use to hang over his head to get rid of him for good.

  The later I come home from work, the less time I have to spend with Joss and the less time I have to spend with Kate. She’s been holding her own, but she’s restless. Idle time leads to doubt. I can’t have her doubting the progress that she’s made. The more doubt that comes into her thoughts, the more the things she tries desperately not to hear become clearer.

  I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I feel like it’s just a matter of time before I crack. I can’t let myself crack. I need to be what everyone needs me to be.

  Saturday morning I have Josh call in an order to the florist for four arrangements. We’ll pick them up on our way to Joss and Nina’s house for dinner. Obviously, one is for Joss and one is for her mother, but since Nina’s mother is also her mother, one is for her. I can’t leave out Nina, so the fourth one is for her. Josh and I agree that both of our names will be on all of the cards.

  The drive to Joss’s house and the tension emanating from both Josh and I is almost laughable, but the second we walk in the door we’re made to feel like family.

  Joss’s mom, Joan, is originally from the south, and she was delighted when I told her I could still pick out the southern drawl in her voice.

  “Brad says I’ve been California-ized,” she tells me.

  “You are. You’re cold when it’s seventy degrees outside,” Brad, Joss’s dad, chuckles in the seat next to her.

  I’ve never felt the connection that I feel between Brad and Joan. It’s similar to that foreign magnetic pull I feel with Joss though. Nina’s parents, Lisa and Dan, take to Josh immediately. Who wouldn’t? He really is a loyal and dedicated man. Dan and Brad call Josh and I outside to help them man the grill, while the ladies finish up the side dishes in the house. I’m not sure how much help I can be manning a grill, but if her dad says outside
, I’m outside. The four women talk and laugh in the house as they work, it’s a beautiful sound.

  “Should I tell them, or should you,” Brad says to Dan.

  “You tell them,” Dan says.

  This should be good.

  “I don’t think either one of you need us to tell you that these two girls are the most precious things God has ever seen fit to give us. These girls don’t just come with one daddy, they come with two. We were the first men to hold our daughters when they took their very first breaths. We’ve held their hands and watched them grow into the beautiful women they are today. Either of you two love struck fools get it into your heads to mess with their hearts, I want you to know that Dan and I made a pact when they were twelve. If anyone hurts our daughter, the other one of us would take that boy behind the shed and introduce them to Clyde. You know… in the interest of deniability. Now, Clyde is an unregistered Smith and Wesson, and so far, neither one of us has had to use it. Now, I see the sparkle in their eyes when they look at you two like I’ve never seen before, so let’s keep it that way and all is good. Oh, and no pressure, but when one of them gets married, both Dan and I walk down the aisle with our girl,” he says.

  “We’re ready in here whenever you guys are ready,” Joss calls from the sliding glass door.

  “Meat is almost done, princess,” Dan answers.

  Dinner a few weeks ago with my parent’s went well. After our parents left, I asked River if Daddy gave him the Clyde speech. Sure enough, he did. All I can do is laugh. Our dad’s most certainly do not own a gun. Or, at least, I’m pretty sure they don’t.

  The week after that, River became distant. At dinner, more times than not, Josh would get a phone call or a text, then he’d whisper in River’s ear and they’d both excuse themselves from the table and close themselves in River’s home office. Our walks on the beach became fewer and fewer, and so did staying the night at each other’s houses. There was always an excuse for one reason or another. I started to miss him.