Dark Horizons

by Dan Smith

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Yeah. I told him about what happened with Alim, that’s all.’

  ‘Going back in, you mean? Taking the—’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘So what did he say?’

  ‘That it was a stupid thing to do.’

  ‘He’s right. It was. There’s something else, though? Something between you two?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You sure?’

  ‘Would it matter?’

  ‘I … don’t know.’

  ‘So you want to talk all night?’ she asked. ‘Or you want to do something more fun?’

  ‘OK,’ I said, reaching down, helping her with the button.

  Domino knelt so she could unfasten the zip, loosen the trousers and drag them down my thighs to my ankles. She waited for me to step out of them.

  ‘You know how to wear a sarong?’ she asked, discarding the stolen trousers.

  I shook my head, not wanting to speak, feeling her warm breath on my cold skin.

  ‘I guess I’ll have to teach you, then.’ She leaned forwards a little further. ‘In a moment.’

  Domino looked up, her eyes on mine, and slipped her warm lips around me.

  19

  Later, when Domino and I rejoined the others, I was dressed in a white T-shirt and a check-print sarong. I had a pair of borrowed flip-flops on my feet, and a glow in my face that I’d never had before. Stepping out of the longhouse, I found myself thinking that I’d already had enough experiences to last me a lifetime. I believed I was already changing. And when I looked at Domino walking ahead of me, I wondered if it was possible to fall in love with someone after such a short time.

  I stopped and watched her, the way she slipped among the people, joined a group with ease, became a part of their conversation without any effort. She was mesmerising. She was beautiful. She had confidence beyond her years. I could hardly believe that I was here, that she’d met me, that she wanted me, but somewhere at the back of my mind, a voice was telling me that I was a gatecrasher in another person’s story. A whisper, warning me that it was all too good to be true. People like Domino don’t give themselves to people like me. People like Domino don’t give themselves to anybody. They’re wild animals, mischievous sprites, flitting from one experience to the next, never committing themselves to anything. Domino would come into my life and disappear from it just as quickly and I should make the most of it. Enjoy her while she was still mine.

  ‘You’re wondering where to go.’ A voice beside me, startling me.

  ‘Hm?’ I turned and looked at Kurt. I hadn’t heard him approach and guessed he must have come from one of the longhouses behind me. I felt a sudden injection of embarrassment and anger when it occurred to me that he could have been inside the longhouse Domino and I had been in. He might have been watching us; watching us in our intimate moment. I tried to push the feeling aside, to make myself believe that if he had been in there, it didn’t matter. The person I’d been a week ago would have cared, but the person I was now had no reason to worry about what others thought. I tried, but the feeling was still there.

  ‘You’re wondering who to talk to. Wondering where you fit in. If anywhere at all. Should you follow Domino, or should you go talk with someone else you know?’

  ‘I don’t really know anyone else,’ I said, looking at my wrist, repeating that involuntary action.

  ‘What about Michael? You know him, right? Matt, Jason. You shared something.’

  I looked over at them, sitting round the table playing cards. Matt and Jason, the surfer dudes who’d leaped from the cliff for a thrill. Matt with his dreads and his wispy goatee. Jason with his lank black hair, his stubble beard and his acne scars – a darker, heavier and less good-looking version of Kurt. And there was Michael with his muscles, his head back, laughing at the clear sky above us. I followed his gaze and stared at the stars.

  ‘Or how about Helena?’ Kurt said. ‘I heard what happened.’

  I looked at him now, tearing my eyes away from the countless stars dotted over our heads.

  ‘You saved her life.’

  I shrugged, hid the feeling of pride. ‘I did what anyone would do.’

  ‘Not anyone. And now maybe she thinks she owes you.’

  ‘Owes me? No. No, she doesn’t owe me anything.’

  ‘She probably thinks she does, though. But you need to leave her alone. Don’t confuse her. She and Michael … they have some issues they need to resolve.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Just know that it could upset the balance. Michael has a short temper. I’ve seen him angry and it’s not a pretty sight, so I wouldn’t want the two of you to fall out.’

  I wasn’t sure what to say.

  ‘So, remember, she doesn’t owe you anything. If anyone owes you, it’s me.’

  ‘How’s that?’ I asked.

  ‘Because Helena’s my sister.’

  ‘Your sister?’

  Kurt nodded and put his arm around my shoulder. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘In the same way that you’re my brother.’

  I didn’t like the feel of his arm around me and I made myself relax, not wanting to offend him. He was offering me his thanks for what I’d done; I needed to be gracious enough to accept it despite there being something about him I didn’t like. I couldn’t put my finger on it, though. He was good-looking, charismatic, accepting. There was nothing specific that he’d said or done to make me dislike him. There was just a general air about him that made me uneasy. And the relationship he had with Domino.

  We were quiet for a while, him with his arm round my shoulder, me looking out at the people. Matt and Jason had left the others and were standing in the shadow at the edge of the clearing to my left, smoking and laughing, but my eyes were drawn to Domino, watching her without seeing her because my mind was here: my inner eye was watching Kurt, sensing his touch like the coils of a snake wrapped loosely round my neck, preparing to tighten. And halfway through our silence, intruders came into our community.

  One moment we were alone, and then they were there. Two men coming into the clearing, stepping in and looking around, checking their surroundings, taking in each person they saw, sizing them up.

  I recognised both men immediately. The first was Alim. The man who had taken Domino and me into the darkness of his longhouse. The man who had put his hands on her. His eyes darted across the clearing, picking out faces, seeing bodies. He had the air of a gladiator entering the arena to be faced with multiple opponents. He was expecting trouble and he had prepared himself for it. In his hands, the parang I’d seen in his longhouse. The copper wire wrapped round the wooden sheath catching the light from the lamps and torches.

  The second man was the one who had been with Alim outside the longhouse that night, and he carried himself in an arrogant and calculated manner, just as he had done when I first saw him. Perhaps that was his nature, or perhaps it was because the object he held in his hands gave him a greater feeling of power. It was something far more brutal than the pistol I’d seen on the table, surrounded by Alim’s drug paraphernalia. This was something I associated with revolutionaries and guerrillas, men piled into the back of Toyota trucks. It had been obscured the first time I saw it, the night it had been pointing into the forest around me, but now it was an instantly recognisable rifle. An AK47, the stock battered and nicked, the blued steel magazine curved beneath it. A wicked half-smile that carried brass and lead designed to pierce a man’s flesh and fragment his bones. And the man who held it was even more severe in this light than he had been that night. The way he slowly turned his head, scanning the clearing with dark eyes; the way he sniffed, turned and spat.

  Kurt looked at the ground, exasperated yet knowing. He’d expected Alim to come.

  He released his hold on me, smiled and approached the two men, speaking in Indonesian. Michael fell in behind him, watching.

  Alim’s partner swung the rifle up, pointing it at Kurt, making him come to an abrupt stop
and raise both hands to waist height. They stayed like that, the rest of us holding our collective breath, then the man relaxed, slung the rifle over his shoulder and came forward to meet Kurt. They shook hands and stood for a while in conversation.

  The others in the clearing were silent, all eyes on the intruders, watching with interest as the two men spoke in hushed tones. It wasn’t long before Alim came forward, trying to dominate the conversation, and when his voice began to rise, Kurt held out his hands, shaking his head, speaking words I wouldn’t understand even if I could hear them. Then Kurt dropped his hands and turned, looking round the clearing, seeing Domino and beckoning her closer.

  As Domino went over, I felt an urge to stop her. I’d seen the way Alim had looked at her. I knew what he wanted to do to her, and my suspicions were heightened by his reaction to her, the way he raised his voice further when she came closer. He pointed at her, gesticulating up and down.

  Kurt shook his head and Domino halted, Alim advancing to close the distance between them. When Kurt moved to stop him, Alim forced him aside, reaching out and slapping Domino’s face. Her head whipped back, but she was quick to recover, to look Alim in the eye.

  My reaction was to step forward, but I was held back. ‘Nothing you can do,’ Jason said in my ear. ‘Just stay calm.’ I’d been too busy watching Kurt to notice him coming close behind me.

  ‘Yeah, be calm, dude,’ Matt added. ‘The guy’s a fucking wanker, but Kurt will sort it out. Kurt always sorts it out.’ And they were right. Already Kurt had recovered and was talking to Alim, holding out his hand to keep him at arm’s length, then speaking to Domino, who nodded and came back in my direction.

  ‘And if he doesn’t, Michael will,’ said Jason. ‘He’s even harder than he looks. Fuckin’ black belt in chop-socky or something. I heard he once killed a man with his bare hands, if you can believe that.’

  ‘More likely split ’im open with his machete,’ countered Matt.

  Domino passed me without a glance and climbed inside the longhouse. When she came out again, she was carrying the pistol. The hard, deadly metal was big and out of place in her small hands.

  She went back to Alim and held it out to him, handle first. He took it, allowing the barrel to point at her for a moment before he dropped it to hang by his hip. He looked at Kurt and spoke. I imagined this was the point where he was telling them not to do it again, that they were lucky to be alive.

  Business concluded, Alim and his friend turned to leave, looking back just as Matt made a gesture with his right hand, raising the middle finger at their backs. Without hesitation, Alim raised the pistol and pointed it at Matt. He fired one shot, the bullet zipping past at head height, hitting something behind in the forest. An intentional miss or not, I didn’t know, but the moment was surreal. Someone had shot at me – well, perhaps not at me, but at the person close beside me – and yet it was undramatic. Just a loud report, the sound of something disturbing the air, then a cracking among the trees. As if a small animal had stepped on a twig. That was it.

  I ducked, as if it might protect me, but before he could fire again, Michael was there, pressing his hand on top of the pistol, pushing the barrel so that it pointed only at the ground. His other hand rising, putting a blade against Alim’s throat.

  Alim’s friend reached round to unshoulder his rifle, but Michael shook his head and pressed a little harder with the parang. Alim spoke, the words tripping from his mouth faster than usual, and the man stayed where he was. Alim then tucked the pistol away and held up his empty hands.

  Michael released him and the two intruders melted back into the trees. Gone.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ I said, watching the spot where they’d disappeared into the forest. ‘Jesus Christ.’

  ‘He fucking shot at me,’ said Matt, still standing exactly where he had been. ‘He fucking shot at me. You see that?’ This wasn’t fear, though, it was disbelief. Excitement. ‘Man, that was cool.’ He put one hand to his head, rubbed it across the stumpy blond dreadlocks. ‘So cool.’

  ‘I saw it, man. I saw it,’ said Jason. ‘Shit.’

  ‘Whoa, I need a drink after that,’ Matt told him.

  ‘Maybe something stronger,’ Jason replied. ‘I need something special after a thing like that.’

  I stayed where I was while the two of them went away, wide-eyed and shaking their heads, enjoying the excitement of it all as the others crowded round them, asking how it felt to come so close to death. I, on the other hand, had taken no enjoyment from the episode. My hands were trembling as they had done when I pulled Helena from the lake. My heart was thumping, my whole body was starting to shake. My mouth was dry, too. I forced my legs to work, going over to where Kurt and Domino were standing, still watching the trees where the two men had gone.

  ‘I told you it was a stupid thing to do,’ Kurt was saying. ‘Danuri’s hard enough to deal with, but this is gonna make things really fucking bad, D. How long you think it’s gonna be before we patch this one up? What the hell were you thinking?’

  Domino looked up at me as I approached. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I guess I just do things sometimes, you know. He came back in and I saw it sitting there and—’ She stopped. ‘I’m sorry, Kurt. I was scared.’

  Michael slipped his parang back into its wooden sheath and watched the line of the trees.

  ‘Will they come back?’ I asked.

  Kurt whipped round as if he were about to challenge my presence. His face was tight, angry, a flash of menace, but he made it relax and took a deep breath. ‘No, I don’t think so.’

  ‘How can you be sure?’

  ‘They need us and we need them,’ he said. ‘We have a kind of agreement.’ He shifted his eyes to glare at Domino. ‘A kind of symbiosis.’

  ‘Symbiosis?’

  ‘We can’t survive without them, and they can’t survive without us.’

  ‘And—’

  ‘And I don’t want to talk about it right now.’ He held up a hand, making it clear this was all he was going to say.

  For a moment we stood in silence, the three of us by the line of trees, the others further away, still grouped around Matt and Jason. Then I spoke to Domino, asking her if she was all right.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said, leaning forwards to embrace me. ‘Thanks for asking. Yeah. I’m fine.’ She kissed me on the mouth, glared at Kurt, then strode away, leaving us alone.

  ‘D does things,’ he said after a pause. ‘Without thinking about them.’

  ‘She’s not the only one.’ I looked across at Matt. It was his finger that had caused the shooting, not Domino’s.

  ‘She’s … impulsive.’

  ‘That’s what I like about her.’ I was still shaking.

  ‘It can be endearing,’ he said.

  I nodded.

  ‘But it can cause trouble, too.’

  ‘So I see.’

  Kurt studied my face. He glanced at the woods, then looked at me again. ‘You really like her?’

  I thought for a moment. ‘I do.’

  ‘And you want to stick around? Even after … you know. What just happened?’

  Again, I thought hard. I wanted to be sure about what I was going to say. An inch or two in the other direction and the bullet might not have been just a rustle in the forest. It might have pierced Matt’s skull, torn through his brain and taken his life. Further still and it might have been my skull, my life.

  I glanced away to see Domino by the fire, talking to some of the others, the group now fragmented. I watched her move and remembered our moments together, alone, then I turned back to Kurt.

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘I do.’

  20

  After the intensity and excitement that had led to and included my arrival in the community, the following days were uncomplicated and free. I did, more or less, as I pleased, and it wasn’t difficult to understand why people wanted to stay here. There was something numbing about the way we lived; everything was encapsulated in a bubble of ether. Nothing re
minded me of my life before I came here. I had no past. No duty, no betrayal, no loss. There was nothing else; everything was forgotten.

  Each night I slept entangled with Domino at the back of the longhouse, and each morning we bathed together beneath the waterfall on the bluff overlooking the lake. It was cold, but it was part of this life, and it didn’t take long to become accustomed to it. We ate mainly fish and rice, but those who cooked knew a hundred different ways to prepare the mujahir fish that was our staple.

  By day, there was always something to do; it was just a matter of slowing to the pace. I learned to play mah jong; we had a badminton net, which we put up across the clearing; we swam in the lake, fished for our food. Domino and I spent a lot of time alone, walking in the forest, watching the lake.

  It was a kind of paradise I hadn’t expected to find. A place with no rules bar those of our own making. And yet I didn’t feel as if I were seeing the whole picture. There was a sense that I was not yet part of the community. Everybody treated me like a friend, but I was not yet one of them and I didn’t know why. On a few occasions I thought Helena wanted to talk to me – she threw expectant glances my way – but each time I approached her, or she approached me, Michael found a way to come between us.

  It was Kurt who eyed me with the greatest suspicion, though, despite his efforts to conceal it. This was most apparent when I was with Domino. As if he were interested in every move we made together. I tried to keep away from him whenever possible, which was why we spent much of our time away from the clearing, only joining the others when Kurt was busy in the second longhouse. The longhouse that, I discovered, was always kept locked.

  The way Kurt watched us reinforced my belief that he and Domino had been together at some time, that he didn’t like me replacing him. The thought of them together stung with jealousy, and I had been, once or twice, on the verge of broaching the subject with Domino, but decided not to. I was enjoying my time with her and didn’t want an uncomfortable conversation to damage that.

  On the fourth day, though, Domino wasn’t there when I woke.