Johnny Buckethead

by Victor Storck

Johnny Buckethead

  by Victor Storck

  Copyright 2013 Victor Storck

  Dedicated to Holly and Lily, the first two members of my reading club. Young ladies, I can't thank you enough for reading my stories.

  Could Edward Stuckey help it if he was born with a head shaped exactly like a plain old ordinary bucket? Of course not. Wasn’t his fault, wasn’t his mother’s, wasn’t his father’s. Once in a very great while these kind of strange things happen when babies are born.

  Edward’s head sloped up and out from his neck, and his thick, wavy black hair lined the entire inside of his buckethead. His mother and father were very relieved when they realized everything else about Edward was perfectly normal. Having a bucket shaped head didn’t make Edward talk different or act different. Except for his buckethead, Edward was as normal as any other young boy.

  Mr. and Mrs. Stuckey didn’t care one bit about his buckethead. They loved him with all their hearts. His mother would often call him “her sweet little bucket boy.” Edward loved his mother and father as much as they loved him. Since his parents were so loving and caring, Edward didn’t mind that he had no brothers or sisters.

  When Edward was old enough to go food shopping with his mother, and her hands were full, she would sometimes put oranges and apples, or even boxes of cereal inside his buckethead. Being able to help his mother made Edward very happy.

  The problems for Edward began when he was eight years old and was starting third grade. By now Edward’s buckethead was so large and deep Edward’s mother knew there was a good chance some of his classmates would make fun of him, so she would comb his hair straight across his thick wide forehead, hoping the buckethead wouldn’t be so obvious. But it didn’t matter. On the first day of third grade, one of the meaner kids in the whole class, Willie O’Ray, gave Edward the nickname “Johnny Buckethead.” When the teacher turned around to write something on the blackboard, everyone laughed and pointed at Edward. Edward sat there and didn’t say a word. A few tears fell from his eyes as all the kids around him kept on laughing and pointing.

  “Look, there he sits, the one and only Johnny Buckethead!” said Willie. “Hey Johnny, why don’t you just go on back home and fill your buckethead with dirt and throw in some tomato seeds? Then we’ll always have fresh tomatoes!” All of the kids got a good laugh at that one.

  “Or,” said Willie’s best friend Fred Merts, “just keep your big fat buckethead empty, so we’ll always have someplace to throw our trash!” Willie laughed so hard he tipped over in his chair and fell backwards. He rolled around on the schoolroom floor, holding his stomach, laughing the whole time.

  The teacher, old Mrs. Flister, had enough. She yelled for everyone to be quiet and for Willie to get back to his desk. As Willie walked by Edward, he quickly pulled out a piece of gum he was chewing and threw it right into Edward’s buckethead. Edward still didn’t move, or even look at anyone, even though he could feel the gum sticking to the hair that lined the bottom of his buckethead.

  When Edward got home, he ran straight to his mother. She took one look at his tear filled eyes and hugged him as tight as she could.

  “Don’t cry, my sweet little bucket boy, don’t cry,” Mrs. Stuckey said. She carefully reached into Edward’s buckethead and took out the sticky piece of gum. “Edward, look what I found. Who knew you had such a treasure hiding inside your beautiful buckethead!”

  Edward couldn’t help but stop crying, seeing his mother holding up the piece of gum like it was some kind of expensive diamond. He almost burst out laughing, but then he frowned, thinking of how sad he felt while he was being made fun of. “Mom, those boys were so mean to me today. I can’t help it if I have a buckethead. I’m a normal boy, aren’t I?”

  His mother gently stroked his hair. “Of course you are. I know it’s hard, but try not to let those boys bother you. They just don’t know any better. I’ll bet they’re even a little scared of you. They’ve never seen anyone like you. You’re the only person in the whole wide world with a buckethead.”

  Edward hugged his mother tighter. Just knowing she loved him made having a buckethead no big deal.

  But Edward knew he would still be laughed at when he went back to school. Sure enough, every single day Willie and Fred kept on making fun of him. Every time the teacher turned her back to the class, they would throw things into his buckethead, or else they would make silly jokes. Everyone else in the class started calling him Johnny Buckethead, and as the year went on, no one seemed to remember his real name was Edward.

  From time to time, a few kids from school or the neighborhood pretended they wanted to be friends with Edward. Edward was so happy to finally have a few friends. He always invited them over to his house, which had a nice big backyard with a small swimming pool. But these so-called friends never lasted. All they wanted was to get a closer look at his huge buckethead, and once they realized Edward was just a normal boy, they soon lost interest. When Edward would see some of these kids later on, all they did was laugh and point, saying “There he goes, the one and only Johnny Buckethead.”

  Mrs. Stuckey noticed all these phony friends and asked Edward's father to have a talk with him. One day, after Edward came home from school, his father was waiting for him. He sat Edward on his lap and explained what it meant to be someone’s friend. “A true friend won’t care what you look like, or how you dress, or any other nonsense like that,” Edward's father said. “They will only care about one thing: how you feel. A true friend will do whatever they can to make you feel happy. Don’t worry, my young bucket boy, someday soon you will have many true friends.”

  First grade ended, then second, third, and fourth grade came and went, and Edward still hadn’t found any true friends. Willie and Fred continued to make fun of him almost every day, and no matter how hard Edward tried to ignore them, he always felt sad when he came home from school. By this time Edward's buckethead had grown so large and heavy, and the extra weight and strain made his neck really painful from time to time. All he could do when his neck started to hurt was to lay down in bed and rest his buckethead on a bunch of soft pillows.

  When fifth grade began Edward was eleven years old. By now Edward's head had formed into a perfectly shaped bucket. For Halloween that year Edward decided to paint his face a light gray color, so he would look exactly like a shiny metal bucket. He even taped a sign to the front of his jacket that said in big black letters: THE ONE AND ONLY JOHNNY BUCKETHEAD. Edward’s mother and father didn’t like his costume at all. Edward said he just wanted to see if people would like it. Secretly, Edward hoped that while he was out trick or treating he would run into Willie and Fred, and maybe the realistic way his buckethead looked, it would scare them so much they would finally stop making fun of him.

  Halfway through trick or treating in his neighborhood, Edward still hadn’t come across Willie or Fred. But Edward was having such a good time he almost forgot about them.

  Edward was very surprised at how the people who answered the door were glad to see the one and only Johnny Buckethead standing there. They all said he made such a fine looking buckethead. Even better, not one single person made any mean jokes or insults. Everyone gave him extra candy. Edward used a pumpkin shaped sack to carry his candy in, and he was amazed at how quickly the sack filled up. He wanted to leave his buckethead empty, because he knew if people saw anything inside, it would ruin the look of his costume.

  Edward could hardly remember ever being so happy. His pumpkin candy sack was full, and so far everyone had been so nice to him. When Edward turned a corner and started walking down Rosehill Drive, he saw Willie and Fred up ahead, coming in his direction. Willie was dressed like a vampire, and Fred had on a gruesome ghost costume. They both stopped once they saw E
dward, and Edward noticed Willie whispering to Fred. After Edward visited a few more houses, Willie and Fred walked up to Edward.

  “Well, well, look here, Gruesome Fred. If it isn’t the one and only Johnny Buckethead,” Willie said.

  “Vampire Willie, did you ever wonder what would happen if a vampire and a gruesome ghost met a buckethead on Halloween night?” Fred said.

  “Never crossed my mind, Gruesome Fred,” Willie said. “But I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

  In a flash Willie tore the Johnny Buckethead sign off Edward’s jacket and ripped it up into little pieces. Fred laughed as Willie tossed the pieces into Edward’s buckethead. Edward felt a huge wave of anger building up inside of him, but he decided not to fight back, especially since he had never been in a fight before. Two against