Finding Memories (Breaking Free Series)

by Becca Taylor

  “Kind of.”

  He runs his hands through his hair. “Shit. I’m sorry, Jade. This is all my fault. I should have put a stop to it. We were drunk, and I took advantage of that.”

  People are looking at us. It’s making me think that maybe a popular coffee house is not the place for this conversation.

  “Get your coffee and let’s go,” I tell him. He looks at me and stands.

  I head right for his truck and wait for him to unlock the door. “Drive.”

  “Where to?”

  “Anywhere. Somewhere we won’t be heard. I don’t need people listening to my private conversations.” My woman power music gave me the strength to do this. It worked.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He salutes me.

  The gesture makes me smile. When he turns on the road, the tension leaves my body. A few minutes later, we pull up to Naples Pier. It’s a work day and not a car is in sight. We sit on one of the benches for a moment, saying nothing; I just sip my tea while he drinks his coffee.

  “Do you regret what happened, Jade? Do you think I’m an ass or too rough?”

  “Jeremy, I told you I wouldn’t regret it. I still don’t.”

  I see his shoulders relax some. “Good. For the record, I don’t regret it either.”

  “It was pretty amazing. Am I right or completely wrong?” I ask him.

  He smiles. “Yeah, amazing.”

  The first part is over. This is the part he might think I’m crazy for asking. “Are you interested in keeping this going?”

  And there’s the look. The one that tells me I may have freaked him out a bit.

  “Like dating?” he questions.

  I think I said it wrong. I’ve never propositioned a man before, and that’s basically what I’m doing. “No, not dating.”

  “Jade, I think I know what you are trying to say, but you’ll need to spell it out for me. Because if I’m thinking wrong, I could look like a worse ass.”

  Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and blurt it out. “Friends with a touch of benefits.”

  With one eye open, I look at him. He’s not saying yes or no. There is no laughing, and I think that’s good. The way he is sitting is giving me nothing, and I may have botched this. Why did Lexi have to mention this option? She said, “You could keep it up.” This is so not me, but I don’t want to sleep with some random guy I go on a date with. Jeremy made me feel comfortable in bed. He also brought out a different person in me; one I want to explore more.

  “Are you okay?” I ask him.

  He looks at me. “Give me a minute. I’m thinking.”

  I do. Looking at my watch, I actually time him. Sixty seconds later, I’m still waiting.

  “Jeremy. It was a bad idea just forget it.”

  “What are the terms?”

  I look at him shocked. “Terms?”

  “If I say yes, we should have rules,” he says.

  Oh, my gosh, he’s considering it.

  “And I want to know why you want to do this. Unless I’ve read you all wrong, I don’t think this is a normal thing for you,” he says.

  I know I’m going to botch this. Honesty is the best in every situation, so I go with that. “Let me lay it all out first then you can decide.”

  “My lips are sealed.” He motions like he’s zipping his lips.

  “You know I’ve been doing the whole online dating. Well, not so much dating as looking. I want to date, but I don’t know my type yet. I thought I had a type, but it turns out they were boring as heck. Then the other night, it just felt good with you. No pressure. You know?”

  He goes to answer me, but I stop him. “Don’t answer that. It was rhetorical. Anyway, my sex life has been long gone, like dead and buried six feet under. Before that, and by that, I mean not including the night with you, sex with the guy I was with was anticlimactic. It was almost to the point of ‘hurry it up, I have to make a six o’clock meeting’ boring.”

  Then he gives me a look—that sorry puppy dog look. “Don’t you pity me. It was what it was. He’s gone, and it’s over. We’ve both moved on. The hotel room brought out something in me. Something I want to explore, but I don’t want us to get involved, at least not in that way. I keep up my search, and you keep doing whatever it is you do. Wait, are you dating? Or have you connected with someone from the site?”

  He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

  “Jeremy, you can talk now,” I said after I finished my speech. Somehow, I managed to say what I had to without turning bright red.

  “I’ve gone out with the intention of picking up a woman and bringing her home for the night. Once I got there, it didn’t appeal to me. I’m not twenty-one anymore. The adult in me said it was a bad idea. Do I want to start dating again? Hell, yes. You helped me with that, and I felt alive again.”

  I know exactly what he means. “Yes, alive is the word I was missing in my rant.”

  “The thing is, ‘hooking up’ with women isn’t something I want to do anymore. And this could work, but it could also ultimately blow up in our faces.”

  “Hence, the terms,” I say as if a lightbulb went on.

  “Hence, the terms,” he repeats with a nod.

  We ended the conversation there, deciding to give it the rest of the night to let the idea simmer. On Friday, we are meeting to discuss Operation: Screw Drive Her. I came up with the name fun buddies, but Jeremy said it was too boring and that’s what I’m trying to change in my life. His reasoning behind the name is people will think it has to do with his work. I think we need to work on a new name and rules, almost a do and don’t list. This is hands down the oddest conversation I’ve ever had in my life.

  JADE MADE ME promise to take the rules seriously, but how can I? Shouldn’t there just be two rules? Don’t fall for her, and when she says it stops, we stop. So when I sit down next to her at the kitchen table, and she pulls out a notebook, not a sheet of paper, I raise an eyebrow.

  “Where’s your list?” Jade asks as she points at the empty spot in front of me.

  “I didn’t need to write it down. It’s committed to memory,” I tell her as I tap my temple.

  “I never rely on my memory.”

  “Why?”

  “Because memories are never true to what really happened. They fade over time.”

  She looks like she wants to say more, so I encourage her. “And ...?”

  “That’s what started me on my career path.”

  “What did?”

  “I was thinking one day that my parents didn’t take that many pictures or write anything down in journals, so I barely remember my childhood. Only the big moments. But what if they hadn’t captured a moment with a camera, but they were supposed to, and it was something monumental. I want to remember every moment. Like the way the baristas put a leaf design in my latte, or the man who always feeds the seagulls at the pier that I wave to on my walk, or this. Because the look on your face is priceless.”

  Jade actually picks up her camera and takes a picture of the two of us and says, “Say screw drive her.”

  She clicks away while I tell her, “You’re crazy, but I get it. I still didn’t need to write it down. I only have two rules.”

  “What?” she says surprised. I hold my fingers in Scout’s honor at her.

  After I tell her my rules, she opens her notebook, and there are three pages of rules. But on the plus side, her handwriting is big and bubbly, just like her personality. I read the first one, no kissing, and look at her. Not only that, but there are subcategories to that. No kissing ears, no neck, no mouth.

  Lips, I get, but the rest? “Why no kissing on those particular places?”

  “Too intimate.”

  “Isn’t all sex intimate? I mean, it’s two naked bodies making contact in every way possible. And does that mean oral is off the table then, because I’m pretty much thinking that’s kissing?”

  “No, that’s okay as long as there is no eye contact,” she says matter-of-factly.

  “We
ll, that’s no fun. I happen to like having full eye contact as I enjoy the taste of a woman.”

  She takes a long sip of her wine. At the same time, her cheeks flush along with her neck too. Her long neck as she swallows the liquid down. That biteable neck where her pulse quickens and I want to touch it. Now I’m the one who needs to take a drink of my beer to cool down.

  Jade clears her throat. “How about you just read them to yourself, then we can discuss?”

  No falling in love with each other; no over touching one area of the body; no public touching; no calling each other for phone sex (the only calls allowed are work related or to say the words screw drive her); nothing that can be considered a date (for example, no casual dinners alone); no sleeping over; foreplay can’t last for more than ten minutes; no cuddling after sex; condoms must be worn each time; when one of us wants to stop, we end it without question; when one of us starts seeing someone regularly, this ends; no sex with other people or we stop.

  Some I agree with, but some need a rewrite, and she agrees.

  “Foreplay will be longer than ten minutes. I’m not a ‘wham, bam, thank you’ kind of guy. If we are going to have sex, I plan to enjoy it. Don’t you? So, yeah, more than ten minutes will be allowed for me to explore your body.”

  She doesn’t say anything back; she just crosses it off the list. Smart woman.

  “As for phone sex, what if you need a quick release in the middle of the day? I have no problem providing that for you via phone, text, or video message. It doesn’t mean it’s intimate. You can dial a million 1-900 numbers and get the same service, sure. But I’m willing to do it for free.”

  Once again, she doesn’t object and puts a line through that ridiculous rule.

  “The only other one I slightly have a problem with is the public touching. Jade, we are friends, and I’m not going to stand a hundred yards away from you like it’s illegal. No handholding is a given. Hell, I won’t even dance with you again if you say so. But if you feel like getting busy in the bathroom while we are with friends just because you are horny as hell? Let’s just say I’m here for your pleasure.”

  Where the hell did that come from? I’m not a public person. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times I kissed Deanna in front of everyone. I like to keep private moments, private. I tell myself it’s because of the rules, and I never met a rule I didn’t want to break.

  “Is that all you disagree with?” Jade asks me. That last rule didn’t get crossed off the list, but she did put a big question mark next to it.

  “Yep. I’m good with everything else. I want to add a third rule to my list.”

  “Shoot,” she says as she refills her wine and hands me another beer.

  “When you go on a date, I want to know. Hell, I’m thinking we even make it a double.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Heck, no.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because that’s not what these rules are about, and I don’t want the man I’m sleeping with sitting across from me while I’m with another man. That’s just wrong.”

  I’m sure this whole idea is wrong, but I don’t tell her that. “I don’t mean sit together. Opposite ends of the restaurant, but this way we can rescue each other a lot faster if we are in the same room.”

  “Huh.”

  “Is that a good or bad huh?” I ask her.

  “That may work. I accept.”

  We shake hands like this whole thing is a deal. I feel like shaking hands is sealing my fate, and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing yet. I am, however, feeling turned on knowing I’ll get to have a repeat of the hotel. Because as far as sex goes, that was an epic performance. Just as I was about to make a move, or at least thought about it, a timer goes off.

  “Casserole is ready,” Jade declares as she stands from her seat.

  She heads into the kitchen, puts on her oven mitts, and opens the oven. From inside, she pulls out a tray of baked ziti big enough to feed a family of five. After she places it on the counter, she grabs two plates from the cabinet.

  “One or two scoops?” she asks me.

  “Two, but isn’t this breaking a rule already?”

  “No. Tonight is a celebration,” Jade says as she scoops the cheesy goodness onto the plate.

  She brings the food to the table and sets one in front of me. As she sits, she grabs her glass of wine then raises her hand in a toast. “To not falling in love.”

  I answer back. “To screw drive her.”

  Instead of taking a sip from her glass, she punches me in the arm. I give her a lopsided smile and a wink as I take a bite of the most delicious ziti I’ve ever eaten. “I will never admit to saying this, but this is even better than Hunter’s.”

  “My lips are sealed. I just got the tomatoes fresh from the organic farmers’ market and made my sauce last night.”

  After we finish dinner and clear the dishes, Jade turns to me. “I have a great idea.”

  I look at her because, in my point of view, nothing good ever follows those words, but I roll with it. “Oh, yeah, what’s that?”

  “Why don’t we find you a date for this weekend?”

  Bad idea, but then I think about it. “Does that mean you have a date lined up?”

  “Not yet. Someone new did message and ask me, though. And I was on the fence until you mentioned not going alone.”

  “If you feel uncomfortable with this person, you shouldn’t go.”

  “No, it’s not that. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with doing this whole blind date thing,” she says.

  “Then why do it?”

  “I’m just ready to meet new people and I need to branch away from the group if I’m going to do that. If you haven’t noticed, we tend to only hang out together. I thought this was the way to go about it; you know, since it’s the year of technology.”

  “Jade, I don’t think you need a dating site to meet new people. I’ve known you for a few years now, and can I be honest with you?”

  “Always,” she says sweetly, and I’m afraid that I may fuck up everything.

  “We’ve talked, but you’ve never really came out of your shell around us. You always seemed to stand behind everyone, and I don’t get why. You’re beautiful, funny, and from what I got in private, not shy at all. You could walk into any place and get noticed, but you don’t want to. Am I right?”

  She sighs, and I wait for her to call me a jerk, but instead, she surprises me. “You’re right. I don’t know why, but I’ve never been one to put myself front and center. I’m an observer, a people watcher.”

  “Maybe we need to work on that. This is what I propose. How about I do one of these online dates with you, but then you go out once and try to meet someone face to face?” I have no idea where that came from.

  She was quick to answer and to offer me her hand to shake too. “Deal.”

  I’m an idiot because, by the end of the night, I have a date lined up with some chick whose name I can’t remember, and Jade set up her date with some Joe Schmoe. All I can hope for is that her night will not end with him, and she comes home with me instead. And right there is why I’m now an asshole and idiot combined.

  “ARE YOU READY to go?” I ask Jade over the Bluetooth.

  “Dress, heels, purse. Yep, I'm all good.”

  I'm in the car on the way to pick her up and wonder if she is crazy. Did she hit her head on something while packing? “What are you talking about, Jade?”

  She’s silent for a moment. “Ummm. Our dates tonight. Remember we set them up just a few days ago? We are supposed to meet them in less than an hour, Jeremy. Please tell me you are ready.”

  If the phone was against my ear, I would have pulled it away and looked at it hard. “Jade, have you been paying attention to the news?”

  “No.”

  “You work for a magazine with the town. I’m sure they know what’s going on,” I practically bark in her ear.

  “What are you talk
ing about? And I was editing photos from home today.”

  Jesus Christ. “The hurricane turned and is headed straight for us. We have to evacuate by tomorrow. I’m on my way to your house. The boys are meeting me there. We are going to get the storm shutters up, and then we are all leaving together. We’re heading to Dani and Logan’s house on the opposite coast.”

  “You’re joking, right?” she asks.

  “No.”

  “This must be a joke.”

  “I wish it was. I’ll be in your apartment in fifteen minutes. In that time, start packing any important shit you want to bring and cancel your date.”

  “Okay.”

  I press the end button on the phone because I’m pulling into her driveway. When I heard the warning at work, I shut down J&H for the day. My crew and their family getting ready for the storm are more important than any deadline. My house is locked down and secured as much as it can be.

  Bentley is already here since he owns the house Jade is renting. As I step out of the truck, I ask him, “Where’s everyone else?”

  “They just started working on Hunter’s house. Josh’s is done. We’ll all meet at Caleb’s and secure his house before we head out. The only thing we have to do here is get the deck furniture and grill inside. I’m glad you talked me into those automatic shutters. It’s made this job a whole lot easier.”

  “Your house taken care of?” I ask him as we head upstairs.

  “Yeah. Aly is baking away for the road trip, or more to the point, emptying the freezer and cooking so we can all eat before the trip.”

  We bypass Jade’s apartment and head straight to the one above it. Once up there, we load anything that’s not nailed down inside. The place is vacant, so there was just the porch swing and the grill to lock up. Being a builder, I double checked to make sure there were no loose boards on the deck and steps as we made our way down to Jade’s apartment.

  After a quick knock on her door, I walk inside. The first time I call out her name, she doesn’t hear me over the music playing. I walk over to her stereo to turn it down then call out her name one more time. From the back, I hear her answer, “In the bedroom.”