The Fallen Queen: (Gods & Monsters Book 2) (The Gods & Monsters Trilogy)

by Janie Marie

  He had left her, though. Ignored her. Abandoned her.

  Look at David.

  She did. No one had ever looked at her the way he did.

  He loves you. It’s okay to be with him.

  “David?” she whispered.

  “Yes, baby?”

  “Is this okay? Being here with you.”

  He reached up and caressed her hair. “I hope so.”

  “Is it wrong that I want to stay with you? That I want to feel like this for a little bit? That I don’t want to worry about everyone else?”

  David smiled and shook his head. “No. You are supposed to want to be with me—that’s not your fault. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. All I care about is you. If you are happy, everyone else will be as well.”

  It’s okay to be happy. David can make you happy.

  “But what about Jason and Death? This will hurt them.”

  His face hardened a little, but he continued gently stroking her hair. “Do you really want to know what I think about them?”

  Jane nodded.

  “All right. Death is a big boy—he will be able to handle whatever is thrown at him. He won’t be mad at you for trying to be happy. I don’t like him, but I respect him. He did his best to protect you all these years; I cannot thank him enough for that, but I think he has taken advantage of your love for him. I understand his desire to be with you, believe me. His choices to be intimate with you to save you from your entity were one matter, but to have continued while you are so confused is wrong. I am a bit of a hypocrite because we have been very affectionate as well, but I have done my best to respect you. He knows you will not tell him no, though. And he takes advantage of that knowledge.”

  Jane frowned with the urge to take up for Death and herself. “I’ve stopped him from doing more. He’ll stop if I say no.”

  David chuckled. “Forgive me, then. I am mistaken to assume you always allow him to do whatever he desires with you.” He pulled her hand and kissed it. “What I should have said is: he should not put you in the position to say no. There have been many times when I have imagined kissing you, but I hold back because I know doing so will only hurt you.”

  “Oh.”

  “This I cannot help.” He smiled, kissing her hand again. “So, again, I am a hypocrite.”

  Jane sighed as she watched him rub his lips against the back of her hand. “I think I would beg you to keep doing it if you tried to stop.”

  He kissed her hand again, smiling against her skin. “Do you still wish to know my thoughts on Jason?”

  She nodded.

  “Forgive me for speaking so bluntly, but I don’t give a damn what Jason thinks of us anymore. I know he is your husband, but I have seen what he has done to you. He loves you; I see that too, but he also chooses to add to your pain for selfish reasons, and he takes advantage of your commitment to him.

  “It is one thing to honor marriage, but you still honor your wife. From what I have seen and heard, he does not. His open disrespect of you, and his concern for his needs and feelings alone disgust me. He has repeatedly let you down when you put your trust in him, and he still chooses to hurt you, knowing you will be devastated.

  “I will not allow him to hurt you anymore. I hope you see that he is wrong and stop excusing his actions because you think so negatively of yourself. Husband or not, he has failed you, and he hasn’t the slightest care that he is killing your beautiful heart. If he truly loves you, he will seek forgiveness for what he’s done to you and tell you to be happy, even if that happiness is without him as your husband.”

  “David, Jason isn’t a bad person. I’ve made him this way.”

  David looked pissed, and he growled before he spoke. “No, Jane. He may not be as bad as other people, but he has hurt you. A man does not have to beat the shit out of his woman or cheat, as he continues to throw in your face, to be a bad husband. He doesn’t get to neglect you when you are at a low simply because he does not understand, or because you have dropped to a low more than once.”

  “No, he’s taken care of me and the kids. He pays for our home and everything. He let me stay home because I had panic attacks and breakdowns so often I’d cry on my way to work, or I’d hope to die just so I didn’t have to be there.” She rubbed her eyes to keep from crying. “He took me away from that house. He’s put up with me.”

  “Jane, listen to yourself. For the most part, those are things a husband is supposed to do. That doesn’t mean he can treat you the way he has or neglect you. It does not make up for what he’s done. Then he has gone and made you feel bad for things that are not your fault. Everything you went through is understandable, but he did wrong by you, and instead of stopping what he was doing and admitting his faults, he’s blamed you. I know he has hit you, too. I cannot even discuss that without showing him what it feels like to be hit by a man.”

  Jane covered her eyes with her free hand. “I provoked him, and it was only once. I’ve been hit before, but I hardly care or think about those times.”

  “Jane, do not excuse what he’s done because you suffer greater pain from your emotional and sexual abuse. A husband should not hit his spouse or significant other.”

  “But you attacked that woman.”

  “I did,” he said softly. “She exaggerated what I did to her. That does not excuse my behavior, but she is not my wife who I promised to protect. She is a monster who has killed and tortured innocents. I see a manipulative snake when I look at her. Her father’s alliance with Arthur, and her ability to manipulate others into believing she is a decent woman, are the only reasons she has not been destroyed. She does not fool me, but Arthur has yet to catch her in her lies. He believes his ability to read her mind is sufficient, but he does not understand she can manipulate what he sees. He has no proof that she continues to carry out evil acts, so in his good conscience, he cannot authorize her death sentence. I still should not have attacked her, especially over words, but I imagined the worst from her and saw only the need to protect you.”

  Jane nodded and pulled her hand down. “Thank you for defending me. It’s been a long time since anyone has.”

  “Baby, I will not stand by and let anyone treat you badly. Whether it’s words or a physical threat, I will step in.”

  A colder chill seeped into her bones, and her teeth began to chatter.

  David pulled her a little closer and touched her forehead with the back of his fingers. “Are you ill?”

  Her teeth continued to chatter. “I don’t feel sick, I’m just so cold and tired. I don’t understand.”

  He’s so warm. He’ll make you feel better.

  “Okay,” he said. “Let’s not talk about this anymore, just sleep. Arthur will take care of everyone until we can meet them.”

  The drowsiness and cold became unbearable. “Okay, I’ll sleep just for a little bit.” She shivered again.

  Sleep with him. It’s okay. Just stay.

  Yes, that was a tempting thought, she agreed. “David, will you hold me?”

  He hesitated and looked at the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. “Sure, sweetheart. Turn around.”

  He helped her roll over and grabbed her waist to pull her into his body. Jane sighed and closed her eyes as his warmth engulfed her. It felt so good to be in his strong arms and have his hard chest pressed against her back.

  “Is that better?” David asked softly in her ear as he arranged the blanket over them.

  “Mhm.”

  He chuckled and kissed her hair. “Good. Sweet dreams, Jane.”

  She smiled and mumbled, “Night, David.”

  An icy caress swept across her lips and she swore she saw the image of a man’s smile. “Good girl . . .”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t say anything, baby.”

  “Oh,” she murmured, confused, but she smiled when he hugged her tighter.

  David linked their fingers and laid them across her stomach. Perfect. That’s all that moment could be betwee
n them. “Sleep, Jane.”

  “Okay.”

  The soft body in David’s arms stirred, waking him from the best sleep he’d had in a while. He opened his eyes and smiled at the sight that greeted him. Jane was still fast asleep and pressed right up against him.

  He lifted his head and scanned her face. She had pulled his hand up to her mouth. Her smiling lips were only resting on his skin, but he loved these affectionate gestures from her when her guard was down.

  Before he realized what he was doing, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Jane sighed as she squeezed his hand.

  He pulled his lips back, imagining waking up like this every day. That was a long way off, but it no longer seemed like an impossible dream. They still had a lot to work through, but he believed there was a greater chance at a future together. It wouldn’t be easy, or soon, but his hope for more than companionship was renewed.

  He lay back and wondered if she would push him away again. It was an unfortunate possibility with Jane. She thought over, doubted, and regretted her choices more than anyone he’d ever met. It was no fault of her own; she was always trying to protect others, but she always saw herself as the greatest cause of pain to those around her. That was why she always pushed people away.

  Whatever ended up happening, whether she pushed him away or accepted him for a while or something else, he would be there for her. He believed now that this was his purpose with her: to hold her and her heart together. He’d been given physical strength to fight his enemies, but she was his true test. It wasn’t their battle against darkness, it was hers. His Jane was light, but she was drowning in darkness, and he had to fight it with her or hold her while she warred with herself.

  David huffed as Death surfaced in his mind. The angel had to have known she’d been in incredible pain since his departure. He had to have heard her calling to him—it was one of the saddest pleas David had ever heard, and she’d been ignored. He was surprised by how well she was functioning, but he knew she was heartbroken because Death didn’t come for her. She was terrified by what she’d almost done. It was the most terrible thing she could ever do, and she counted on Death to be there. But he wasn’t.

  Jane’s ability to function always surprised David, but he knew everything would change once she saw her family again.

  He frowned as he tried to decide how to handle that task. One thing was certain; David wasn’t letting Jane do it alone. Jason would be sure to voice his opinion, and he would probably be a dick to Jane in the process.

  David had been willing to step back while Jane put her family first; he still was, but he wasn’t going to be a shadow they overlooked as Jane fell apart. To have to watch the light fade from her beautiful eyes for a man who cared more about himself than her wellbeing and happiness was not something David would stand for. He would not let her become a shell of a person for Jason’s sake.

  David knew it might be difficult for the children to accept his closeness with Jane, especially Natalie, but they were smart. He was certain they didn’t want to see their mother in distress, so maybe they would accept what he did for Jane.

  He hoped he wasn’t putting too much hope into Nathan’s earlier actions. One of the two children on his side was a good start, but Natalie wasn’t going to be easily won over. It was common for girls to cling to their father, as he’d seen with Guinevere and their father, and Natalie was proving no different from most girls.

  While Jane was likely happy over the love Jason and Natalie shared, David had seen Jane’s heartache when Natalie looked at them confused, and perhaps a little accusingly.

  Unlike Nathan, who appeared to pick up Jane’s emotions, Natalie didn’t seem to understand how much her mother suffered, just so they didn’t have to. Not that she should have to understand, being such a young child, but it would certainly help if she somewhat grasped it wasn’t right for Jane to suffer like this. Maybe if Jane was still human, it would be different, but Jane was a dangerous immortal now. And they all saw last night what her depriving herself for her children’s sake could mean.

  If there was a way to make Natalie understand how much Jane would benefit from being close to him, David felt the little girl would accept the relationship he and Jane shared, and her approval would help Jane accept him in return.

  Even if she didn’t love him, he knew Jane cared about him and saw him as more than a companion. She was holding back, just like him, but they were developing something incredible together. So, for now, he would take a place as her Other. It was a start, and he believed Jane was ready to fully accept him in that role.

  She would still likely go back and forth between accepting him and pushing him away; that was what she did, but he felt she finally knew they were meant to be together in some way.

  He hugged her tighter and kissed the back of her head. “I love you.”

  Jane didn’t respond verbally, but her heart rate speeding up at his words was enough to put a smile on his face. He would never lose hope that one day they might be more, but he meant what he said; he was hers for all of time. Even if her heart ended up with another, she would still have all of his.

  David lay there a little while longer and decided to simply enjoy this peaceful moment with her. Even with the soundproofed walls, David always heard noise, and he could tell by the silence next door that her family had already gone. He figured Arthur must have read their thoughts and knew Jane had come into his room, so he likely took them somewhere else around the castle.

  He didn’t like that Arthur could dive into his thoughts at his leisure, but he was glad his brother-in-law took charge of the situation and knew Jane would need time with him before they went together to see Jason and the children.

  David glanced down at their clothes. She was in a T-shirt since he’d taken off her hoodie, but her jeans were filthy. She still smelt sweet, but he could also smell the dried blood and sweat on his body. How Jane hadn’t commented on it, he didn’t know, but he was glad she had no problem being close to him while he was dirty and weak. There had been numerous times he’d watched women shove men away because they were sweaty or dirty from battle. He liked that Jane looked at everyone and everything on a deeper level.

  He glanced at her again, finding her fast asleep. He didn’t want to wake her up, but he figured this would be the best time to have a quick shower, so he carefully separated their hands. She tried to tighten her grip, but he managed to free himself and eased his way out from behind her.

  When Jane whined, he froze before getting off the bed completely and watched her sleepily pat the bed behind her. He grinned; she was looking for him. Still, he wanted to get a shower over with so she wouldn’t have to be alone while she was awake, so he pressed pillows and his blanket behind her until she stopped searching for him.

  She mumbled something incoherent and rolled on her stomach as David finally got off the bed and walked around to her side. There was the chance she might panic if she woke alone, so he picked up his journal and wrote her a quick note.

  David yanked out the sheet of paper and nearly laughed aloud as he glanced back at Jane. She had managed to bury herself in most of the pillows but had the biggest one clutched to her chest while her legs were sprawled out diagonally across the bed. It amused him to see such a tiny woman take up so much of a massive bed, but he smiled because he realized she was restless without him.

  Because of that, David quickly left to take his shower.

  With a little groan, Jane opened an eye. She remembered coming into David’s room and falling asleep with him. The fact her favorite blanket of warmth was missing made her aware David wasn’t in bed anymore. It was disappointing, but his side was warm at least.

  The sight of a piece of paper placed under her pillow made her smile, and she quickly snatched it up. The paper was more of a parchment you’d see in old movies.

  She chuckled because it was a simple reminder of how old David was, but she shook her head and focused on the message written.

  My love
,

  I hope you are still resting peacefully when I return. However, you always surprise me, so I am writing to explain my absence.

  If you listen, you will realize I have only left to shower—I will not be long. I must stress, though, under no circumstance should you leave my room. In fact, I want to find you on my bed when I return. I will hear if you leave, so unless you wish me to run naked through the castle to find you, I suggest you stay where you are.

  I’m only teasing, of course. I just wanted to make you smile. Keep it on your lovely face for me. It truly is my favorite sight.

  Yours always,

  David

  Jane’s cheeks hurt because her smile was so big. She sighed happily but looked up in surprise when the shower abruptly shut off.

  Her breath sped up as she stared wide-eyed at the bathroom door. Her panic seemed silly, even to her, but she chalked it up to the fact that David was on the other side of that door. Naked.

  She shut her eyes and prayed he’d come out in only a towel.

  What the hell, Jane, she mentally screamed at herself for thinking such a thing.

  Jane shook her head, but the immediate image of his hard, perfect body was impossible to banish. She had slept with that masterpiece of a man. His magnificent body against hers all morning.

  She pulled herself up, ready to flee as she berated herself. How could she go from nearly killing her son to crawling in bed with David?

  The note crumpled in her balled fist. “Oh, no,” she whispered and immediately bent over to smooth out the wrinkles.

  “Baby?”

  Jane froze before she slowly looked up to see David. Shirtless.

  Oh, sweet Jesus.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and covered her face with both hands. “Why are you naked? I didn’t go anywhere!”

  He chuckled, a whole lot closer than she anticipated, and simply replied, “Good afternoon, sweetheart.”

  Jane removed her hands from her face, and despite already knowing he was shirtless, she checked him out. It wasn’t fair how perfect he was.