The Fallen Queen: (Gods & Monsters Book 2) (The Gods & Monsters Trilogy)

by Janie Marie

  “It is Lucifer, Jane.” He rubbed her back instead of simply teasing her skin. “Or your king, whichever you prefer.”

  He could feel her grinning against his shoulder and felt the urge to spank her for enjoying his annoyance. Already, he felt his earlier anger toward her dissipating. All she had to do was speak, and her magic disarmed him.

  “I like Luc,” she whispered.

  Moisture on his shoulder made him frown. “Are you slobbering on me?”

  He thought she was laughing when her body trembled, but the way she clutched him tightly made him realize she was crying. “Fuck, Jane,” he said, growling. “Can you not go a day without crying?”

  She wiped her tears before hugging him. “I’m sorry. I just had a bad dream. I was trying to distract myself.”

  “What was your dream?” Lucifer didn’t even know why he asked, but he was curious to know what had bothered her so much in her sleep.

  When her breathing didn’t slow down, he gently ran his fingers through her hair and raised his body temperature.

  She calmed almost immediately before returning the gesture by playing with his hair. “I don’t want you to get angry with me,” she whispered, trying to sound calmer, but her sadness was still present.

  Lucifer sighed. He really didn’t want to deal with this, but he was still curious. “I will stay calm.” Jane’s body stayed a little tense, so he squeezed her gently and lowered his lips to her hair. “I promise, my queen. I want to know.”

  Her body relaxed, and she nervously played with his hair again before finally speaking. “I was dreaming of my family and about Jason getting attacked by Melody. Sometimes, though, it would switch from her face to mine.”

  He spoke before she could continue. “You were not the one to kill him. He let his hate and regret blind him into believing that bitch.”

  “Were you telling the truth when you said you stopped him? Or was that just to get me to come with you?”

  Sighing, he answered her even though it would only increase the pain later. “I did stop him. I amplified his memories of you. It was all that was needed to break the trance she’d put him in.”

  Her hand shook as she hugged him tighter. “Why did you stop him? Hasn’t it been your goal to destroy me? That would have ruined me.”

  “I know it would have,” he said, staring at the rocky ceiling. “I suppose I stopped him because I needed your children to hold over your head.”

  For a moment, she stayed quiet, massaging his scalp, but she took a deep breath and lightly shook her head. “I don’t think that’s why. I think you didn’t want me to lose them, especially that way.”

  “What does it matter, Jane?” He fought himself from throwing her across the cave. “I was aware she was seducing Jason. She was ordered to cause him to receive David’s wrath, or yours, but I was not aware until later that she already had plans of her own because of her jealousy. It would do me no good to have your children die, so I stopped him. That is all. I haven’t the slightest concern for whether they live or die, but they are useful tools to get what I want from you.”

  She kept playing with his hair. “You’re lying. You care about me.”

  “Only because you are my queen and what happens to you reflects upon me. Your demon is essential, which is the only reason you were even in my sights.”

  “Then why are you caring for me and not fucking her? She could have healed these injuries with a snap of her fingers, and I know she would fuck just about anyone. So, tell me another lie.”

  “Is that what you want? Do you want me to call her and leave her out so she can continue torturing you?”

  “That sounds an awful lot like caring for me.”

  He growled, squeezing her waist but letting go when she whined. “Stop asking me these questions or I will throw you in the dark and fuck her right now!”

  She kissed his shoulder, and he sighed at the instant relief it gave his body and mind. As soon as she withdrew her lips, his prison and all the torture it inflicted came back with a vengeance, enough to make him tense up for a few seconds.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, caressing his hair.

  “Do not ask me such a ridiculous question.” He rubbed his face, removing the sweat there. “Get off me before I throw you.”

  She turned her head so she was facing him. “Don’t be angry.”

  “You’re making me angry,” he said, meeting her gaze.

  She slid her hand down to hold his cheek. “I just wanted to understand. Nothing you do makes sense.”

  “There is nothing to make sense of. I chose you as my queen. Your demon is my weapon. She annoys and disgusts me, so you are the only option I have. You are beginning to be more troublesome than you are worth, though. I am certain I can overlook her less appealing traits if it means ridding myself of your whining and listening to your absurd belief that there is more to our relationship and my feelings toward you. I would let her fuck the entire army of werewolves if it meant I did not have to hear whatever little fairy tale you have concocted in that insane mind of yours.”

  She stared at him with wide, watery eyes as she held her breath. “Please don’t try to hurt me anymore.”

  “Then do as I say!” He glared at her before looking away. He couldn’t keep staring into those eyes. They were still so bright when they shouldn’t be.

  “You know, I once believed Death could fix me,” she said softly, tightening her hold as he prepared to stand and leave. “Just listen for a second, please.”

  He looked back at her. “Fine. If it stops your whining, spit out whatever nonsense you have to say and let that be the end of it. You already know I do not like hearing about either of them.”

  A smile formed on her lips for only a second before she nodded, speaking again, “When he is with me, something happens. I think he knows more, but I also think he isn’t sure, or maybe he is refusing to believe something about why we have met. Anyway, what I feel is magic. When we touch, I feel more alive than ever, which is ridiculous considering he is death. I used to think he could fix what I felt. I feel her all the time. Even when he was there, she was in the back of my mind and heart, digging her nails into them. It burns, and I feel like I’m bleeding, but whenever he would touch me, that little tingle from his skin on mine would seep into more than just my pores—it would spread. I almost envision that fire and ice had somehow come together and made a liquid.”

  “That would be water, my queen,” he said, chuckling as, once again, she softened his anger.

  “Don’t be smart.”

  “I am smart, my queen. I am reconsidering your intelligence at the moment, though.”

  “Can I continue?” She glared at him.

  “You may continue. I know you will annoy me if I say no, so go on.”

  She huffed but went on. “It felt thicker than water, like gel that I couldn’t tell whether it was hot or cold. It would ripple almost, not visibly, but that’s the sensation. It would roll under my skin. It made me think of medicine or something being applied. It would always wind up near my heart—never inside it, only around it a little to the center of my chest. I could feel it moving there, searching.” She shrugged. “I don’t know what it is. He never said much about it, but I thought his magic was fixing me. I felt almost at peace, like going with him would be the most peace I would ever feel. But my mind wouldn’t stop. Even with him there, I still felt her claws. It would have been enough, I think, if only he’d stayed. If we had become something more, you know? I don’t think I could have done it; I didn’t do it, because I had the chance to go with him, but I stayed. And she got stronger.

  “Then there was David. His touch isn’t the same. He’s like the sun, always hot, always burning but never destroying me. I don’t know if she could feel that. Maybe it was too hot for her to fight against. Maybe it made her uncomfortable. I started hoping she would leave me alone. As long as I had him close, he’d give me strength or somehow that fire of his would embrace me enough for her to
back off. I think she did, but everything that happened gave her the chance to come out in the most horrible moments. I guess you know that, though. You were the reason for it.”

  Lucifer looked up at the ceiling without replying.

  “I still forgive you, but it did weaken me. It made me push David away once I realized she truly hated him. I knew she didn’t like Death, but I think she feared him after he drained me that one time. David, though, she wanted to kill him, and I knew she could. I thought our love would be another way to fight her, but I felt so guilty. I was done with my marriage to Jason, but it was Death I longed for. That wholeness I felt with him; it’s different from the way David makes me feel. Like David holds me together, but Death—”

  “Is more,” he said, finishing what he knew she didn’t want to admit.

  She wiped a tear away. “Yes. It destroyed a part of me. David is so incredible, so good and beautiful, and he wanted to give me everything. I knew he could give me the life I craved, and I love him. I still love him—I won’t stop—but it broke me because I could not return what he gave me so willingly. I thought if Death came, I could get closure on my relationship with him. Then I would be able to give David all the love he deserved, but I dropped so far, I knew there was no coming back. I couldn’t let Jason die, so I took the chance to bargain with Death . . .”

  “I know, Jane,” he said, caressing her back. “I saw your memories of your time in his realm.”

  “So you know how she came back. How there was no more left in me to fight her. Without them to give me that extra protection and strength, she was ready to burn the world.”

  “Yes, she was,” he said, staring at the rocky wall.

  “Then you came,” she whispered. “That single touch from you stopped her. It knocked her down and locked her up for a short time.” Her thumb slid back and forth on his cheek. “Never have I felt so much relief in all my life. You don’t give me the same feelings as they do, and that night, it wasn’t that numbing you did before, it was just silence. A strange sort of peace like you might feel standing alone in the dark but not being afraid. And I knew it was never them I had been waiting for. It was you.”

  “I’m not your savior, Jane,” he said, still not looking at her.

  “I know you’re not the hero, Luc.” Her breath caressed his neck. “But you are something I did not expect you to be. Still, I think I always knew it would be you who could stop her. You could let her break me, let her do the most terrible things, you could have sex with her whenever you want, but you lock her away so I can be me. So I can feel stronger than I have ever felt before. You let me face my demons because you believe I can defeat them, even if you do not want to admit that’s what you want. You’re giving me the chance to heal myself so I can be something great. You’re very mean about it all, but I think I see why it has to be this way, and it’s okay.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  “You are a foolish girl,” he said, hugging her as he closed his eyes. “So full of silly dreams when the world wants to see you burn.”

  “Would you burn with me?”

  He looked up. “Yes, my queen. We will burn together.”

  Her tears slid across his skin, somehow still soothing the constant fire raging underneath it. “Will they be safe? Promise they will still be safe. I know eventually Death will come for us all, but not her—don’t let it be her or another of your monsters.”

  He caressed her hair as his own demon roared within him. “Yes, my queen. I promise they will be safe from her and any monster I command.”

  “Thank you, Luc.”

  He didn’t reply.

  “Do you think she’ll ever go away completely?”

  He tightened his arms around her. “Perhaps one day.”

  “Okay,” she whispered, kissing his neck and making him sigh. “Okay.”

  His soul roared at his demon, and he turned his head. “I do not wish to continue this discussion.”

  Those hazel eyes locked onto his face, the golden fire burning brighter than ever before. “I understand. Thank you for letting us have it. What do you want to talk about?”

  “I do not wish to talk,” he said, smirking.

  A worried look flitted over her pretty face. “Can you give me a little more time? Please?”

  His soul beat against its cage as he brushed his lips over hers. “It’s better this way, my queen. Even if I have to force you, it’s better.”

  Her eyes widened. “No, Luc. After everything I just told you, you would still do this?”

  He closed his eyes as roars and growls consumed his mind. “It’s better this way. You will hurt more . . .”

  “I’ll hate you if you force me, Luc. I know you can simply think it, and I’ll do whatever you want—or her—but I think you want me to want you.”

  “You will never want me, my queen,” he said quickly.

  She touched his cheek. “You don’t want me to see you the way I see Stephen, Lancelot, and the others. That is what I know, and I know I want that to remain true about you. So don’t force me. Give me time. That’s all I ask.”

  That inferno within somehow grew more unbearable. “It’s better this way.”

  “It will hurt me, though.” Her voice cracked.

  “My queen,” he said, closing his eyes as she whimpered, trying to hold herself together.

  “What if I behave really well today?” she asked, her voice shaking. “What if I don’t give you all of me, but I give you something.”

  He shook his head. “Only your willing kiss is worth more . . . No, actually, that is not true. Nothing is better than simply taking your body, especially by force.”

  She pushed herself up on him a little. “Does my kiss mean so much to you?”

  “No,” he said, staring into those flames in her eyes.

  “Yes, it does,” she said, lowering her face. “If I kiss you on my own, without you telling me to or forcing me to, will you give me more time? I swear, even if it hurts me, because I know I will never stop loving David and Death—because I know my heart cries to be with David—I swear I will give myself to you day and night. Just not her. Never her.”

  He held her cheek. “Oh, my little queen. You complicate so much.”

  She smiled sadly. “I would not expect the King of Hell to settle for easy.”

  “You don’t know what you’re asking, Jane,” he said, watching her frown.

  “I do. I know you want my body and her power. I’m just asking for more time. I don’t understand why, but now I would rather you have me than her. It’s upsetting, but I would like to control who I give my body to. Yes, I think that’s it. I want control over my body. It will betray David and my heart, but I need to be the one to willingly give myself to someone. I guess this doesn’t make sense, and I still sold myself to you, but that’s why I want time. I think you care about me more than you let on. I think you may love me one day, and if you do, it will be different.”

  Some of her hair fell over her eyes, and he pushed it back, holding her face with both hands. “Not having control over what she does scares you? I thought if she was the one controlling you, it would make you feel less guilt.”

  “I guess it sorta does, but I know she’s so intertwined with me, I will always be responsible for her acts. It’s awful to be stuck inside, especially witnessing her do terrible things and not being able to stop her. I don’t know why you didn’t stop her yesterday, but I’m assuming you were giving me the chance to face her as well.”

  “Don’t be absurd. She is meant to destroy, Jane. She will slaughter so many even without my order. I did not stop her because you brought it on yourself. You gave her the chance to overthrow you after I gave her orders.”

  “Can’t you control everything she does yet?”

  He stared into her eyes. “Not entirely. You haven’t surrendered enough of yourself to me. I have told you this.”

  She nodded, tracing her fingers over his face. “Give me time, then.”

  H
is heart began to burn. “What do you desire most regarding your demon, Jane?”

  “To be free of her,” she said without hesitation. “Always.”

  The roaring within him ceased. “I will not force myself on you, my queen.”

  Her smile reminded him of home. “Thank you, Luc.”

  “Just kiss me, Jane,” he said, touching her smiling lips. “I want to feel the kiss that is mine while you are still around me like this.”

  She smiled wider. “Is that supposed to mean I won’t be around soon, or are you referring to me being topless?”

  “I left our pants on,” he said, ignoring her first question and smiling even though his body ached.

  “Will you be mindful of your hands?” She brought her face closer. “No forcing of any kind? I know it’s wrong, but I can’t be forced anymore.”

  He grinned, brushing their lips together. “Now you are asking a lot, my queen.”

  Those hazel eyes captured his, but she stayed quiet, not moving, just quiet and still.

  “Fine.” He growled. “I will not force you to touch me. You do realize this is torture?”

  “You did make me the High Queen of Hell.” She smirked, and he found he rather liked that mischievous look on her face.

  Sliding a hand down her spine, he smiled. “The High King still wants to touch his queen. Only a little, though. She still smells like my dog.”

  She laughed, truly laughed, and it was beautiful. “Are you flirting with me?”

  “No,” he said, nipping her lip as he squeezed her ass. “I am simply extending the warning that I will touch you. Don’t cry when I do—I promise I will not be too vulgar. I want to remember this, and I want you to as well.”

  Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and he knew she still felt guilty, but she smiled. It was a smile he’d only seen aimed at him—his smile. “I promise I won’t cry.” Those eyes sparkled like a thousand stars in the night sky. “I promise to remember.”

  Pulling her down all the way, their lips touched, and the queen kissed her king for the first time.

  “My queen,” he whispered, gliding his hand along her leg, his fingers grazing her skin where it had been torn.