It's Not Over

by A. L. Zaun

  “You seem like a nice guy,” he said condescendingly, breaking the awkward silence, “and it looks like she’s gotten her hooks into you.”

  “Listen, motherfucker.” I glared at him in the mirror. “I don’t know who the hell you are or what the fuck you want, so I’m going to tell you this once” —I straightened my shoulders— “I don’t think anyone, other than my mother, would consider me a nice guy. Leave her the fuck alone.”

  He reached for a paper towel and laughed. “You’re out of your league. Frankly, I don’t give a shit if she fucks you or half the world’s population. At the end of the day, she’s going to fuck me when I want. End of story. Oh, and by the way, remember when we first met? I’m the old friend. You’re the new friend—or maybe more like friend-for-now.”

  I clenched my fists—as much as my right hand would allow. The rage that had seized me earlier took over as my shoulders tightened, and my heart pounded.

  I pinned him against the wall, feeling the fury overtake me. “Well, old friend, maybe you’re hard of hearing. I said, leave her the fuck alone. You don’t know who I am.” I pushed away from him and ran my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself down.

  Straightening his shirt, he came up to me with a fucking death wish. “I have what she wants. At the end of the day, I always win.”

  This had to be one of those karma-shit things, and I was getting a taste of my own medicine. I refused to believe I was anything like this asshole, even at my worst.

  When I walked out of the restroom, Madison was waiting for me with her arms crossed.

  “You’ve crossed the line with your pussy-protection plan. Let’s make something clear. I don’t do pissing matches. In other words, just in case that isn’t clear enough, don’t kiss me to lay a claim on me. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but no one owns me,” she snipped with her bitchy attitude.

  “Maddy, I’m not in the mood for this shit.” I stormed past her on my way to the baggage claim area.

  Grabbing my arm, she turned me toward her. “What’s gotten into you?”

  I couldn’t look at her even though I wanted to. Everything in me wanted to stake my fucking claim on her. I was only ever able to take Madison and her bullshit in small doses, and today was no exception.

  What on earth possessed me to think that I could do this?

  Her soft hands tilted my face down. “Look at me, Rick. This is not the time or place for one of your temper tantrums.”

  “I want to kill him.” I fought not to look at her, but her voice was like a fucking laser beam forcing my eyes to lock onto hers.

  “He’s trying to get to me through you. Don’t give him the satisfaction,” she tried to reason with me.

  Too fucking late.

  “What does he have that you want?” I glared at her.

  She pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head. “I can’t do this right now, and this is exactly what he wants, that asshole.”

  “I can only take so much. The first time you ran off with him to go forget, and now what? Are you going to take off with him to get whatever it is that you want? I draw the fucking line with this shit.”

  The look in her eyes shifted. It was the same look she’d had on Thanksgiving before she abandoned me to be with the motherfucker. It was almost a sad expression, and then it vanished and was replaced by her empty stare.

  “I told you earlier that I’ll entertain your drama later. I can’t do this now. The way I see it, you have a choice. You can either wait until after tonight, or you can catch the next flight home. It’s up to you.”

  “Do you want me here?” The question came out of my mouth before I could even process it.

  This was the deciding factor. I’d made assumptions all along. According to her, I was wrong about her being with the fuck buddy, so maybe I was wrong about her feeling something for me.

  “I shouldn’t,” she said, barely above a whisper, “but I do. Shouldn’t you be home, chasing Daniela and convincing her that you’re a different man?”

  I felt my dimple pop because my smile was huge. “You want me.”

  She rolled her eyes and walked over to the carousel to wait for her suitcase.

  I followed closely behind her. “Daniela? Is this why you’re in such a fucked-up mood? Are you feeling your insecurity shit again? I told you already one thing had nothing to do with the other. You’re stuck with me, babe.”

  “Lucky me, I won the lottery,” she said dryly as she checked her watch. She was trying to keep the upper hand with her lackluster response, but I knew the truth. She pointed to the red leather suitcase. “There’s my suitcase. Get it. One more thing—you know how you’re always saying that I’m cutting off your dick, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah?”

  I nodded.

  She continued. “Embarrass me on this trip, and I will literally cut it off, pulverize it in a blender, and then flush it down the garbage disposal.”

  The thought made me flinch. She could be cruel, and honestly, I wouldn’t put it past her to own up to her threat.

  “You have so little faith in me. Anyhow, what are our plans? And where are we staying?” I pulled out my phone to check my messages.

  She looked out over the crowd. “We have no plans, and we aren’t staying anywhere.”

  I gave her a look like she was fucking ridiculous. “You’re going to toss me out on the street? That’s not very mannerly of you.”

  “No, it’s not.” She shrugged. “I’m a bitch, but you already knew that.” She put on her coat and reached in her purse for a scarf, hat, and gloves. Her eyes traveled the full length of my body. “And I’m going to laugh when you walk out those doors.”

  “Your laughter is one of my favorite sounds,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

  She looked at me unimpressed. “That’s so cheesy. You need to step up your game.”

  “I’m actually being sincere, and now my feelings are hurt.” I hung my head mockingly.

  “You’re so full of shit. Man up because you’re going to need your testosterone when your dick meets the frigid air.”

  I buried my hands in my pockets. “Considering that spending time with you has been like being in the Arctic zone, I think my dick is impervious to subzero temperatures.”

  “Shrinkage, Rick—it’s not a pretty sight.” She snickered.

  Before I could respond, she took off.

  I could barely keep up with her. “Excuse me.” I bumped into people. “Sorry about that.” I had to jump over suitcases while lugging hers. “Coming through.” I almost lost her. “Wait up, Maddy.”

  Then, I saw her wrap her arms around an older man. He was huge and definitely had a major presence. In his black wool coat with a Burberry scarf, he held a fedora hat in his hand. The man exuded class and style even if he was ancient. He held her like she was a china doll, gently and with care. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

  She looked back toward me, and I saw it in her watery eyes. She had the same look as the girl at the Turkey Trot who had laughed as I’d carried her on piggyback. The one who had placed a fucking shower cap on my head as we fed the homeless. The same girl who had lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when she saw the bracelet I’d gotten her. The girl who smiled for me last night and threw her arms around my neck. The one who had whispered that she knew I could do it.

  Chapter 7

  Madison

  Our eyes met. The noise of the airport silenced. I stood in the midst of perfection. My grandfather’s arms gingerly held me as I looked over at Rick. His lips were curled in that devilish, dimpled grin of his, and I realized I wanted it all.

  I didn’t give a damn about Daniela, what she might or might not feel. I didn’t care what he might feel for her. In that instant, I wanted him. I wanted this. I wanted us. I wanted it to last beyond this moment even though I knew it wouldn’t. I owned that I was greedy and selfish, and I smiled back at him.

  I turned back to my grandfather as he released me. I shook my h
ead softly and batted my eyes. “When my flight was delayed, I thought for sure that I wasn’t going to see you until dinner tonight.”

  He furrowed his brow. “Maddy, my favorite granddaughter comes for a visit, and you think I’m not going to be here?” He tapped my nose. “You also had me worried. You were very upset this morning.”

  “I’m your only granddaughter,” I reminded him, tugging at his coat lapel, “and I was just a little emotional when I heard your voice. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.” I opened my arms and smiled.

  His eyes shifted to my side when I felt Rick’s undeniable touch as his arm slid along the small of my back. Caught off guard, I nearly gasped out loud.

  “Rick Marin. Nice to meet you,” he said, extending his hand to my grandfather.

  “I like a man who takes charge and doesn’t sit around, waiting for an introduction,” my grandfather responded with his deep raspy voice, taking Rick’s hand in a firm shake. He quickly glanced over at me with a questioning expression.

  I could feel Rick’s body tense as my grandfather squeezed his injured hand.

  “Mark Stuart. It’s a pleasure meeting you.”

  I pulled myself out of my shock. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? Grandfather, this is Rick Marin.” I turned into Rick’s hold. “Rick, this is my grandfather, Mark Stuart.”

  “It’s very nice meeting you, Mr. Stuart,” Rick responded with a nod.

  My grandfather’s eyes glanced between us and focused on Rick’s arm around me. “Mark, please,” my grandfather insisted. “Madison didn’t mention that she was traveling with a companion.”

  I grimaced as my stomach churned. It was another miscalculation on my part. I hadn’t expected them to meet—ever. Nelson, my grandfather’s driver, would typically pick me up and drive me over to see my grandfather. When Rick had gotten on the plane, I’d figured I would drop him off at a shelter, hotel, or under a bridge. He was a big boy and could figure things out.

  I hadn’t thought anything through today. I was acting on impulse, giving in to my hysterics, longings, and desires. Oh my god, I’m acting like Rick. No wonder he always has to dig himself out of shit. Think, Madison. Focus. Pull it together. This was quickly becoming extremely awkward as the two worlds I’d kept separate were converging together.

  Rick’s grip on me tightened, and I felt the heat from his eyes on me.

  “You know Maddy. She loves surprises,” Rick said with a little edge in his voice.

  I tugged on Rick and yanked him down as I whispered, “Snip, snip. Remember, you’re a fuck-up away from a blender.”

  Grandfather chuckled, and I worried about what was going through his head. He knew that no one called me Maddy but him. I’d never allowed it. Rick had gotten away with it for the sole reason that I’d always liked the way my name rolled off his tongue. Suddenly, I felt like I was seventeen again, and I was bringing home a boy to meet my dad. I knew I was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

  We began making our way toward the exit when Rick asked quietly, “Mark Stuart? As in the Mark Stuart? Like Mark Stuart of Mark’s in Manhattan?”

  I sighed. “Do I have to remind you of the blender and garbage disposal?” I glared up at him as we stayed a small distance behind my grandfather. “Yes,” I said, gritting my teeth.

  “You could have warned me that I was meeting your family and a fucking legend. I wrote a paper on him in my entrepreneur class in college,” he said excitedly as he brought his arm around me.

  “Son,” my grandfather said, looking over his shoulder, “I’ll make sure to take you on a tour tonight before dinner.”

  My grandfather had a gleam in his eye that I hadn’t seen in years. He loved talking about Mark’s and the good ole days. In the past ten years, he’d stepped back from the day-to-day operations, but he never let go of Mark’s or his controlling interests.

  Rick looked like the idiot kid that he was with his bright eyes and dorky smile. He’s adorable and delicious. My heart fluttered, and my lips pulled softly to the side.

  Rick leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Maddy, I worship you.” He pulled away from me and went up next to my grandfather. “Sir, I’d be honored.”

  They walked ahead of me talking happily as they made their way toward the exit where Nelson would be waiting for us. Rick looked back at me and winked. He waved me over, but I stayed behind to watch them with girlish admiration. I’d never had an official boyfriend growing up—or ever for that matter—so no boy had come over to the house to meet my grandparents. I wasn’t a freak of nature though. I’d had dates who picked me up, but it had never been like this. I wanted to watch them—my men—interacting in a natural harmony. Why can’t I have the fantasy for the weekend?

  As I enjoyed the view, a chill coursed through my body, bringing me out of my euphoric state. I felt his stale breath along my neck.

  Alex wrapped his hand around my arm, tightly. “Nothing changes. Tonight, I’ll be expecting you.”

  This isn’t happening. As if in a state of emergency, everything in me shut down, and the warmth was quickly replaced by hardened steel.

  “Bring your boyfriend. The more, the merrier. In fact, I want him to watch me fuck you.”

  I yanked my arm away and brushed him off of me then turned to confront the bastard. “What’s your problem?”

  “I have no problem—other than the new pants you owe me.” He smirked. “I want to fuck you, and I’m having fun with your boyfriend. He’s easy.”

  “You’re not this petty so cut the bullshit.” I crossed my arms and studied him, trying to figure out his angle.

  Instead, he walked off and looked over his shoulder, grinning. “No, I’m not.”

  He sidled up next to my grandfather and Rick. Alex patted my grandfather on the shoulder and was all smiles while Rick looked like a volcano ready to erupt. As I got closer, I realized Alex was wasting no time whatsoever in egging Rick on.

  “I’ll personally see to it that Marcel has your table ready,” Alex said to my grandfather. Then, his eyes turned to Rick. “I know how much Madison loves spending time at Mark’s.”

  “Yes, she does, doesn’t she?” my grandfather stated as fact with a sparkle in his eye when he saw me. “Alex, you’re doing a fantastic job with the restaurant. Why don’t you join us for dinner tonight?”

  I came up next to Rick and laced my arm in his, pulling him to go outside with me, not waiting for Alex’s response.

  “We’ll see you in the car,” I called to my grandfather.

  The automatic doors opened, and the rush of cold air was invigorating.

  “I’m sorry about that,” I said as we walked outside, waiting for Nelson to pull up.

  “Are you?” Rick turned in a full blown tantrum. “You have no fucking idea how fucking livid I am at you right now.” He paced and shoved his hands in his pockets. “And don’t go threatening that you’re going to do some fucking Lorena Bobbitt shit.”

  I wrapped my arms around myself. “Yes, I am sorry.” I meant it even though I knew I didn’t make him get on the plane nor did I have control over Alex.

  Horns were blaring. People were walking around us. Noise, motion, commotion—everything was abuzz. I stood on my tiptoes to see if I could find Nelson. What’s keeping him?

  “You had three fucking hours to say maybe two sentences,” he snapped. “‘Oh, Rick, I’m going to New York to see my grandfather, and my fuck buddy, Alex, works for him.’ That, my dear, would have answered the question I asked before I got on the big silver airplane,” he snapped. He ran his hands through his hair as he turned and faced the traffic. He crossed his arms and began rubbing them vigorously with his hands.

  Of course he would make this my fault, and in a fucked up way, I feel like it is.

  “You’re absolutely right. You have every right to be upset with me. I’m very sorry Alex ambushed you. I’ve mishandled this entire situation.” I came up behind him. “Please, Rick, we can talk about all of this tonight, I promise.”
I took off my scarf and laid it around his neck. “Come on, you’re freezing.” I ran my hands up and down his arms, trying to warm him up a bit.

  “Madison,” he said in a tone that sent a dagger piercing through my heart as he turned to face me, “I’m not Liam Lucas. I’m not the guy Daniela imagined me to be. I am who I am. I’m an asshole to the highest degree. I’ve manipulated situations and people to get ahead. I bend rules and sometimes break them. You’ve seen me at my best, at my worst, and generally everything in between.” He paused and paced in a circle. “Just when I think I know who you are, just when I think there’s a sliver of humanity inside of you with a couple drops of red blood flowing through your veins, you pull this heartless fucking shit on me.”

  His words hit me like a freight train. At the surprising impact, I stumbled back a couple of steps. I tried to steady myself, wanting to ignore his accusations and character assassination, but the red blood flowing through my veins and pumping through an actual heart, bled.

  I focused my gaze on him, unsure if I could mask the hurt his words had inflicted.

  “Don’t you fucking dare get that look in your eyes,” he growled, staring at me. He ran his hands through his hair again and shook his head.

  I was tired and emotionally drained. Nothing was panning out for me like I’d planned. The walls were caving in around me, and my rampant emotions were sucking the air out of my lungs. I wanted to go back to the moment when we’d sat on the bench last night, eating cake and celebrating his accomplishment. I wanted a fucking do-over. In my failed attempt at detaching, I’d created a mess.

  “Damn it, I told you not to do it,” he said with his hands on top of his head. “Fuck, you know I can’t stay mad at you when you get like this.”

  Get it together, Madison. Rick’s having a temper tantrum. You can’t control him, but you can control your reaction.

  I pushed down the negative emotions. “You have a choice to make.” I exhaled slowly. “You either wait until tonight, and we’ll discuss everything, or you can walk through those doors, get on a plane, and go home. It’s up to you.”