It's Not Over

by A. L. Zaun

  Hovering just above her lips, I told her, “Maddy, for one day, just let go of your need to control everything. You wanted romance. I’m giving you fucking romance, so stop being a royal pain in the ass.”

  I sucked on her lower lip, and a small moan escaped her.

  “As much as this bitchy attitude of yours is a total turn-on, today, I want to take care of you and make you queen for the day.”

  She pulled away and cupped my face. “I’m the queen every day and don’t you forget it.” She sauntered off into the bathroom, swaying her ass seductively.

  “Like you’d ever let me.” I shook my head with a grin on my face and watched her wave her finger in the air.

  Yes, she’s my number one.

  Chapter 32

  Madison

  I slowly blew out a deep breath and tucked my hair behind my ear as I made my way out of the bathroom. The hot shower had been just what I’d needed to refocus and collect myself emotionally and physically. I’d overreacted with Rick this morning. He had been sweet, which was a rarity, and instead of appreciating it, I questioned his motives once again. I couldn’t stand it if he saw me as weak or as some victim. I wasn’t either one.

  I’d been raised to be self-sufficient and independent. After everything that had happened and then my grandmother’s passing shortly thereafter, I’d taken that way of life to the extreme with detachment and isolation. Now, I struggled to find the balance of letting Rick in while not losing myself in the process.

  I walked out to the living area, scanning the room for Rick. I had a bone to pick with my prince charming. It was a perfect example of my challenge with him. As annoyed and frustrated as I had been to find the mess he’d made in the bathroom, a part of me didn’t give a shit that he’d made it. There were more important things in life than having my cosmetics drawer emptied onto my bathroom counter. Like the fact that despite all of his idiotic tendencies, Rick Marin knew how to love me, and that wasn’t an easy thing to do.

  Making my way toward the kitchen, I spotted him outside on the balcony, talking on his phone. He was dressed casually in his light blue polo and a pair of jeans. He was wearing his glasses, but what caught my attention was how at home he was, sitting on a chair with his bare feet propped on the railing. He was comfortable here, and I hated to admit that I liked it, and I liked having him around—even though he was a slob.

  I opened the door, and he turned his face toward me. With a wink, he stretched his arm out for me to go to him. Climbing onto his lap, he brought his free arm around me and finished up his conversation.

  “Okay, yeah…thanks, Chris.” He shot me a look as he ended the call, and then he placed a quick kiss on my lips.

  He knows. I went to get up from his lap, but he firmly held me.

  “Hold on, I have to make one more phone call.” He pulled up a contact. “Estrella, hey. How’s the hangover?”

  My stomach dropped, but I’d be damned if I was going to play into this bullshit power play with his sisters. He laughed at whatever she’d said as he lovingly ran his fingers up and down my arm.

  “Are you going to be home later on?” He placed a kiss on my cheek. “Perfect, I’ll stop by then.” He hung up and laid his phone down on the armrest. He dragged my body closer to him. “So,” he said, nuzzling his face in my neck, “this is a really nice trailer you live in.”

  Fuck you, Chris.

  Chris Giordano meant well, but he was his own brand of dickhead. It wasn’t his place to say anything. I knew where I stood with Rick’s sisters. They’d had the decency to withhold their opinions when we were face-to-face. They loved him in their own warped way. What had bothered me most, other than their blatant stupidity, was that they ultimately didn’t trust his judgment. I couldn’t really blame them. Rick’s track record spoke for itself, but in spite of that, he was different. His arrogance was evolving into confidence, and his entitlement and lack of boundaries were…still an issue.

  “You’re cute.” I gave him a curt smile and a sideways glance.

  His lips were pressed in a flat line as he nodded. “And you’re a stripping gold digger who has an eating disorder and does drugs. The best part is that you love to suck my dick.” He paused and turned my face to him. His playful glances from a moment ago were replaced with steely eyes. “You, my dear, were full of shit last night. Why didn’t you tell me what my sisters said?”

  “Hmm, good question. Let’s see.” I rubbed my chin with my thumb and pointer finger. “I had other things on my mind, and contrary to the drama you might be accustomed to, I don’t feed into the catty games women play.”

  He continued to nod, and I hoped he was processing my rationale.

  “You want me to think that you’ve got this titanium shell covered in Teflon, but you don’t. I will be fucking damned if I let anyone talk shit about you. Ever,” he growled as he pounded his fist on the armrest. “And you…” He blew out a deep breath. “When I ask you something, don’t bullshit me.”

  “Let it go, Marin,” I said firmly. I stood up, bringing this discussion to an end. “We have bigger issues to discuss.”

  “Like?” He threw open his hands in a question.

  “Like the fact you’re a slob. You left a mess in my bathroom.” I dipped my chin and narrowed my eyes.

  By the shift in his expression, I could tell I had successfully redirected his attention. This should buy me some time before he goes back to his obsessiveness with his overprotectiveness kicking back in. “If you think I’m going to let you spend time here with me while you create havoc in my home, you’re gravely mistaken.”

  “What part is bothering you most?” he asked playfully, placing his hand on the small of my back as he followed me inside. “The fact that I made a mess or the fact that you like that I made that drawer mine.”

  Of course, Rick wouldn’t understand. It wasn’t just about a drawer. Although, walking into my bathroom to find all my cosmetics poured onto my counter and his toiletries neatly stored in my top drawer had irked the living shit out of me. It was more the fact that Rick had an inherent problem understanding where he ended and another person began. The world didn’t revolve around him. Nor was the top drawer in my bathroom up for grabs.

  “Your lack of boundaries, lack of consideration, and your arrogance are high on the list. You took the top drawer.”

  He pulled out the chair for me to sit in and then sat down next to me.

  “I’m taller than you, so of course, I need the top drawer.”

  I knew him well enough to understand his logic. In his head, all of this made sense. He was here a lot. It was more convenient to leave some stuff over. We were exclusive. He was taller. He was bigger. He got the top drawer. To anyone else, he would be a selfish asshole, and well, he was, but he was my asshole, and he was staking his claim. I kind of liked it. No, I loved it.

  He swiveled in the chair to face me. “But I’m a team player. You can have one of the top drawers in my bathroom.”

  That caught my attention. Did he really want to give me a drawer in his bathroom? “The big one?” I asked, stirring his culinary masterpiece of yogurt and granola.

  “Now, you’re just being greedy. You get the small drawer,” he said as though it was a done deal. He reached for a strand of my hair and wrapped it around his finger. “I’m not going anywhere, Maddy, so get used to having me and my shit around.”

  I savored the parfait in my mouth as I let his words sink in. This is big for Rick. Hell, it’s huge for me. And I’m okay with this, right? Should I question it? Should I let it happen? Once again, I felt all my walls fighting to be resurrected. But I didn’t want to do it that way anymore—not with him. I was tired of walls.

  I felt a blush touch my cheeks, and I gave him a quick glance before returning my eyes to the bowl in front of me. “That’s good to know,” I said softly, turning in my chair to face him. “Next time, please ask before you rearrange my bathroom, and by the way”—I couldn’t help but add some attitude—”your s
tuff has been moved to the second drawer.”

  “How’s your breakfast?” He pulled my chair closer to him and slid his hands along my legs.

  His touch sent soft tingles along my legs, and my heart fluttered, thinking about everything. I was on emotion overload, and for once in my life, I wanted to just go with it.

  I looked down at the bowl in front of me. “Your skills in the kitchen are impressive. I think I might hire you as an executive chef.” I placed the spoon down and wiped my mouth with the napkin. “I wanted to talk to you about the new developments with Donovan’s.”

  “I like this, Maddy,” he said to me, his eyes hungrily fixed on my mouth.

  “What’s that?” I asked, my heart racing without my consent.

  “Peace, me and you, here, together.” He grazed my lips with his mouth. “So, tell me about your new developments.”

  His tongue caressed my lower lip, and my mouth opened for him, deepening the kiss.

  “You taste like strawberries,” he breathed, smiling as he pulled back. “Talk to me.”

  I wanted this moment to last a lot longer, but I knew it wouldn’t. Everything I’d been working toward for the last ten years was finally coming together, but still feeling the effects of Rick’s lips on mine, I momentarily questioned if I wanted to go down that path after all. He’ll just have to get on board with the idea. I need him to.

  “They changed their minds,” I told him straight out. My shoulders naturally straightened, and I chose to remain impassive. “Donovan’s is mine. I have a meeting with the architects tonight at seven and another one in New York in a couple of weeks.”

  “Holy shit.” His eyes were shining as he gave me a dimpled smile. He leaned in and cradled my head in his hands. “This is awesome.”

  He kissed me like he meant it, and I kissed him back because I meant it, too. We pulled back from the kiss, and I kept my eyes closed just for a moment longer, letting the euphoric effects of the kiss linger. My thoughts were all over the place, and a battle ensued in my heart.

  “Nana, did I do the right thing?” I asked her tearfully.

  “My dear, only you know the answer to that,” she hushed as she held me in her arms. “But I think you did. No regrets.”

  “Do you think I’ll see him again?” I asked as a whimper escaped me.

  “If it’s meant to be,” she whispered.

  “Why aren’t you happy?” he asked, studying my face. “You should be jumping for joy, but you aren’t.”

  My mouth went dry, and I tilted my head, glancing away from him to hide my lie. “I am. It’ll be a lot of work. I’ll be juggling Donovan’s and Martini Bar until the new team has been set up and trained.” My heart hammered in my chest, and my throat felt tight. I licked my lips and rubbed them together, trying to steady the anxiety plaguing me. Pull it together, Madison.

  “Why do you look like you’re about to have a panic attack?” he asked, turning my face back to him.

  I could see in his eyes that he was calling my bullshit.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” he asked, sliding his hands in mine.

  I hated that he was beginning to know me so well.

  “I’m not having a panic attack,” I assured him, stuffing my warring emotions into a nice little compartment deep in my heart. “I’m not going to bullshit you.” I gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. “You’re going to be pissed-off, but just try to have an open mind and understand that I need to do this.”

  I watched him pull his hands away, and he sat back in his chair.

  What is wrong with you? You’re acting like a little girl wanting daddy’s approval.

  I immediately regretted my word choices and how I was handling everything. I was a confident woman, not an insecure bimbo.

  “With that warning, I see it’s going to be another fucking day in paradise.” He laced his fingers together and placed them behind his neck in a relaxed position. “What’s not to understand, Madison? How did you convince the people who were hell-bent against this?”

  “I didn’t.” I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Alex did.”

  Knowing Rick, I expected a passionate outburst. I expected him to tense up as his eyes bulged out of his face. Maybe he would shove everything off the table to the floor and start throwing things before he ran his hands through his hair. He would spew his venom of how he hated me and how he wanted to cause me bodily harm.

  Instead, he calmly got up and placed a kiss on my head as he reached for my bowl. “The answer is no.” Then, he walked into the kitchen.

  “No? What?” I stumbled out of my chair and followed behind him.

  He slammed the dishwasher closed and yanked the dish towel off the oven door before drying his hands. He was now acting exactly like what I had imagined just a moment ago. And just like that, we had gone from zero to a hundred miles per hour in a split second.

  His nostrils flared, and his eyes were ablaze. “Don’t go blonde on me. You know what the fuck I meant. No.” He tossed the towel at me and backed me up against the wall. “There’s no way on earth I’m letting you work for him,” he growled through gritted teeth.

  “Excuse me?” I huffed indignantly as I narrowed my eyes on him and pushed him back. “I don’t need your permission. You don’t own me.” My blood boiled, and I could feel my face redden. “You’re very mistaken, Marin. This is my career, and you have zero say in it.”

  He went on as though he were the one calling the shots in my life. “You’re on thin ice, babe,” he growled closing the gap between us. “If you think I’m going to watch that motherfucker destroy your life, you’re dead wrong. I don’t care if you think you don’t need my permission. You’re not working with him. He dicho.” He backed off of me and raked his hands through his hair. “Let me translate that for you. I’ve spoken, Madison. End of fucking story. Get that through your pretty head. It’s not happening.”

  End of fucking story. Pretty head? Oh, he didn’t just go there.

  I shoved him farther away from me. “Not happening? Why? Who the hell do you think you are? What part of, ‘This is my job, my career, everything I’ve worked for,’ don’t you get? This is off-limits.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest and paced in a small circle. “You’re acting like an insecure and jealous asshole. This isn’t the fifties where you think you can tell me what to do. You don’t own me or tell me what I can or can’t do.”

  “Bring it on, babe,” he sneered. The vein in his forehead throbbed as he waved his hands toward himself, egging me on. “Fifties bullshit? That’s the best you have?” He smirked. “You know exactly why I’m pissed off.” He stomped toward me, backing me against the wall. “This has nothing to do with your fucking job. This has everything to do with that motherfucking, cocksucking son of a bitch who’s hell-bent on destroying you and us.” He placed his hands on the wall behind me, caging me in. “Who am I, you asked? You want to fucking go there?”

  I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, trying to calm myself down and regain some level of control over this disaster. “You’re overreacting as usual,” I said, placing my hands over his pounding chest. “And that was exactly what I had expected.”

  He stepped back from me and toward the table as he shouted, “Overreacting? Why? Because you think I’m jealous of an asshole who used to fuck you for nine goddamned years while he treated you like a whore?” His voice dripped with contempt. “Yeah, I’m so threatened by a cocksucker who took naked pictures of you and harassed you with them. That motherfucker has been bullying you and tormenting me, and now, he’s magically your number one supporter. And you think I’m insecure? You know me so well.” He braced the back of the chair and pushed it aside. “No! This has to do with the fact that I will not let that piece of shit hurt you.”

  I put my hands on top of my head and paced in a circle away from the wall. “So, this big show of masculine dominance is about Alex then,” I huffed. “I’m just supposed to forgo everything I’ve ever worked for because of
him? Are you fucking out of your mind?” I walked up to Rick and cocked my head to the side. I steeled my eyes and took control of every rebellious emotion, stuffing them away. With a steady voice, I told him, “I’m not about to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime because of either one of you.”

  I regretted the words as soon as they had come out. His expression fell, and he shook his head slowly.

  I reached out for him. “Rick…”

  He put up his hands and stepped away from me. “I see where I stand. Nice, Madison. Fucking nice,” he said bitterly. Clenching his jaw, he fisted his palms.

  I grabbed his arms and clung on to them when he tried to pull away.

  “Look at me,” I urged before breathing out a cleansing breath. “I love you, Rick. I do.” The rushing of my pulse pounded in my ears, and I felt my legs start to buckle under me. “Don’t make me choose.”

  He rolled his eyes and huffed, “Un-fucking-believable. Let me clue you in on something.” He ran his hand softly along my face. “You’re my best friend, Maddy, and I love you.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “I show you every fucking day. You say you love me, but do you even know what love is?”

  His words pierced my heart. Stunned and hurt, I said softly, almost apologetically, “Don’t make this about us. You know I love you. You know that.” I felt tears pooling in my eyes. “But I have to do this.”

  He stood back from me with a slow, disbelieving shake of his head. “It is about us. It’s about the fact that I’m the one who’s constantly jumping through hoops, just the way you trained me, like I’m your fucking little lap dog.” He ran his hands through his hair. “My dick, sweetheart, is not on the chopping block. You will not work with that motherfucker. End of story.” He emphasized each word.

  He didn’t get it at all. This wasn’t something he was going to persuade me or force me not to do. Doesn’t he know me at all? “You need to give me a little credit and trust me,” I said with a calm and steady voice. “Do you really think I’m deluded by Alex? I don’t know what his agenda is, but I’m not naive. I’m going into this with my eyes open. I won’t let him hurt me or us. Please, I need you on my side.”