Shadow

by Christi J. Whitney

  I wrenched out of Anya’s grip and dove for him. His right wing hung limp as he flipped with Josephine hanging on. Matthias lashed at me. His teeth plunged into my shoulder. I grabbed his neck and ripped him out of his downward spiral.

  We lurched to a stop in midair – a split second – but all I needed. I plucked Josephine from his back and slammed my feet into his chest. He dropped from the sky, but Anya was on us in a rush of wings and claws.

  Suddenly, I was falling out of the air, careening end over end and out of control. Josephine clung to me and screamed. Visions of crashing jet planes flashed before my eyes. I strained my wings, frantic to stop our fierce rotation. I could see Matthias’ crumpled body on the boulders below.

  I shoved my body in the opposite direction of our tailspin, gasping as my wings finally caught air. I dodged tree branches as I rapidly brought us down among the rocks. I stuck my landing, but no sooner had I released Josephine than Anya surged at us in a mist of smoke. But I was faster this time. I caught her by the wing and flung her like a giant discus into a boulder. She screeched as her body hit the granite with a sickening thud.

  Matthias tackled me from behind. The world went upside down and my face scraped stone as he rammed his knee into my back. The pain coursed like rocket fuel through my body, eating me away. I grabbed my head with a wild snarl. The dark instincts clawed and fought and tore at me. My control burned away like dead leaves on a fire. Everything went red.

  I threw Matthias off me, sprang to my feet, and dove at him with a vicious roar. Our bodies slammed together. Pain was nothing to me now. We were a tangle of arms and wings, claws and teeth. Then I had him on the ground. My claws slashed his chest, penetrating shadowen flesh. Inky blood. I threw my head back and roared. Hand poised to strike the final blow.

  ‘Sebastian, don’t!’

  The words cut through the haze. My hand froze. Adrenaline pumped hard inside me, fighting against my brain.

  Josephine’s voice was calm. ‘Please, Sebastian.’

  My stomach lurched. For an agonizing moment, I was suspended between two courses of action. Fierce emotion burst through my throat, strangling me. Choking me. I leapt up, gasping for air, and stumbled back, tripping over my own feet and rolling into a crouch. Instincts and logic warred for dominance.

  ‘Do it!’ Anya sneered and pushed herself painfully to her knees. Fiery hatred burned in her silver orbs. She clawed her way across the boulder. ‘Kill us, little brother. You know you want to. Give in to the urge.’

  The muscles in my back went taut as the red film around my eyes narrowed my vision once more. My breaths turned shallow as I rose to my feet, body hunched forward. I felt my fingers splay wide. Then, a touch on my shoulder.

  I jolted, a snarl escaping my lips. Josephine moved into my line of vision. I saw the fear in her eyes, smelled it in her emotions. But she didn’t move away. Her fingers wrapped gently around my arm. Her touch soothed my inward battle, and I closed my eyes, biting hard on my lip, tasting my own blood. Josephine simply held onto me, waiting patiently.

  Waiting for me to come back.

  I stood shaking with instincts; the pressure inside me slowly releasing like steam from a boiler. As the adrenaline ebbed away, my face grew hot with shame. I felt disgusted – completely and utterly disgusted with myself.

  ‘Josephine …’

  She closed the distance between us, her emerald eyes intensely searching mine. ‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘No apologies this time.’ She placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘Just take us home, Sebastian.’

  Without hesitation, I lifted her into my arms, cradling her body against my chest. What was left of the darkness inside me evaporated, and I took a breath of cleansing air. I stared at Anya’s inhuman form, this time without the red haze over my eyes. She coughed, and trail of black liquid spurted from her mouth.

  ‘You’re such a waste, fledgling,’ she spat. The venom in her voice oozed like blood. ‘Augustine was convinced you were the one. But you won’t even allow yourself to be a gargoyle. Why did he think you could be anything else?’

  I hesitated. If I left, they’d only come after us again. My lips quivered against another snarl. I should finish them off while I had the opportunity. Anya’s molten eyes burned with challenge. I felt a spark of fire reheating inside me.

  Josephine’s whisper brushed against my chest. ‘Please, let’s go.’

  I wanted to protect Josephine so badly that my blood sang. I was capable of ending Anya’s life, if I just gave in to my instincts. But if I killed her in cold blood, then what kind of gargoyle – what kind of person – would I be? Conflict swirled like nausea, but the feeling of the Gypsy girl in my arms kept me focused.

  ‘Augustine doesn’t control me,’ I growled. ‘And neither do you. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going to kill you.’ My eyes narrowed. ‘At least, not today.’ I turned away from the chimeras’ hideous forms.

  Matthias hissed. ‘You can’t leave us here like this.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Josephine, her voice colder than I’d ever heard it, ‘you won’t be alone for long. As soon as we get back to the Circe, I’m sending the Marksmen after you.’

  I flashed my teeth over my shoulder in a grim smile. ‘I suggest you run.’

  I spread my wings wide and leapt into the air. There was no running start, no takeoff. I didn’t need them anymore. We gained height quickly, bursting through the green canopy of Copper Mountain and heading home.

  Josephine was quiet for some time. I couldn’t blame her. The half-gargoyle, half-chimera creatures were something straight out of a nightmare. And it had only been Josephine’s pleading voice that kept me from killing both of them. I shuddered at the memory, and then I noticed something in Josephine’s hand – the object she’d used on Matthias. She clung to it tightly, hugging it against her chest.

  ‘What’s that?’ I asked.

  Josephine’s fingers opened, exposing the object to my view. It was a knife, thin and compact – its blade glinting in the evening light with hundreds of tiny diamond specks. I understood then how she’d wounded Matthias.

  The Gypsy girl shrugged against me. ‘Quentin gave it to me before he left. He wanted me to have some protection.’ She turned her face towards me, and a smirk danced across her lips. ‘From you.’

  ‘Remind me not to get on your bad side,’ I replied.

  I worked to return her smile, but an uneasy feeling settled in my gut. Did Josephine really trust me, as she claimed? I turned my attention to the ground speeding by below us. I could learn to live without her love, but if she didn’t trust me, what future was there between us?

  I felt warm fingers on my jaw.

  Josephine met my look with serious eyes. ‘Bringing the knife was just for show,’ she said. ‘For the sake of the Marksmen only. I know you’d never do anything to put me in danger. And I promise the same thing to you.’ She searched my face. ‘Okay?’

  My anxiety released itself inside of me. Josephine was right. Trust had to work both ways. She needed mine as much as I needed hers. At that very moment, I decided I’d never doubt it again.

  ‘Okay,’ I replied, feeling my smile relax. ‘But could you maybe put it away, you know, just to be on the safe side? You’re pretty scary with a weapon.’

  She laughed and tucked the knife into her belt. ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’

  I beat my wings against the evening sky, speeding our course towards the Fairgrounds. A few stars peered down at me through the thick indigo clouds. I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. Josephine glanced at me, and her forehead creased.

  ‘What is it, Sebastian?’

  ‘You came after me when they dragged me off the cliff.’ My mind replayed the image of her body wrapped around Matthias’ back as we plummeted towards the ground. My throat went dry. ‘You jumped.’

  Josephine’s hand found my cheek, and she smiled. ‘No, Sebastian,’ she replied. ‘I leapt after you.’

  21. Waking Slumber<
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  Josephine snuggled into my chest as I descended slowly through the twilight; the breeze in my wings and the damp of the evening air on my face. But I couldn’t be selfish for long. Danger signals flared in my brain, and my volatile instincts still lurked just beneath the surface of my logical thoughts. Josephine needed to be home, safe behind the iron fences of the Fairgrounds.

  We needed to tell the Marksmen about the shadow creatures we’d left on the mountainside. And I needed to talk to Karl. Somehow, Augustine’s gargoyles had changed into hideous chimeras. But how, and for what purpose?

  And where was the renegade Gypsy?

  I didn’t want to risk being seen by anyone who might be on the road, so I drifted down to the field where we’d first taken off. My landing was sure-footed this time. The act of flying had transformed from something I feared to something that felt natural now – an innate part of me that had been dormant too long. I snapped my wings, flinging off the excess moisture, and folded them to my back.

  ‘We need to hurry,’ I said, setting Josephine down and taking her hand. Shadows formed in the trees, creeping around the thick foliage. The gates to the Fairgrounds were uncomfortably far. ‘I don’t want to be caught out here in the middle of the woods when those two decide to take another swipe at us.’

  ‘I don’t think they’ll be following us anytime soon,’ said Josephine.

  I flinched. Though she didn’t say it out loud, I knew what she meant. I could’ve killed them. In fact, I’d come dangerously close. My head pounded with guilt and loathing. ‘That doesn’t mean we’re safe. I need to get you back to the Circe, and we have to tell your father what happened.’ I bypassed the road and led us into the forest. ‘Their injuries will heal eventually, and I can’t imagine those two will just quietly return to wherever they came from.’

  ‘I don’t understand how Augustine is connected to all this. He’s marimé. I hadn’t heard his name even mentioned until I met you.’ Josephine slowed down and blinked up at me. ‘All this has something to do with you, doesn’t it?’

  I matched her pace reluctantly. The need to get Josephine safely into Romany territory was snapping at my heels. ‘I don’t see how it could. I refused to join him, and I was sealed to you. End of story. There’s no reason for him to care about me now.’ I glanced sideways at her. ‘I’m not the kind of gargoyle he wants.’

  ‘But those chimeras,’ said Josephine, ‘they said Augustine thought you were the one. They said you weren’t letting yourself be a gargoyle – that you weren’t giving in. What does that mean?’

  I snarled under my breath and shoved a clump of leafy branches aside. ‘Come on. We need to move faster.’

  ‘Sebastian,’ said Josephine, pulling against me. ‘What you did back there—’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Please, Josephine.’ I let go of her hand and continued moving, twisting my wing-laden body to squeeze through the narrow trees. ‘When I told you I was scared of the stuff I couldn’t control that’s exactly what I meant. What happened back there – what I did – it wasn’t me.’ I wiped the back of my sleeve across my eyes. ‘It’s not … it can’t be me.’

  Josephine hurried to catch up. ‘For a moment, maybe it was. But you were still in there, Sebastian. It was still you inside. And when I called your name, you came back.’

  We were deep in the woods, far from the road. I sniffed the air, but the scents were too mingled to sort out. ‘I know.’

  Conflict darkened Josephine’s face, and she picked absently at her fingernails. She was preparing to say something, and I found it suddenly hard to look her in the eyes. ‘Sebastian,’ she began, ‘what I said to you … when we were sitting near Lover’s Leap … on the mountain …’

  I kept my attention on the trail I was forging, waiting for the words I knew were coming – the regret she felt and the explanation to follow. I braced myself for the blow. ‘Yes?’

  ‘What do you feel when you’re around me, Sebastian?’

  I stopped in my tracks. A fresh current of electricity spiraled up my spine and buzzed through my head. It made me want to jump out of my skin. I looked past Josephine, staring deep into the forest. All sorts of lies crept to my lips, full of denials and dismissive excuses. But the truth fought past them all. ‘I feel everything.’

  For a moment, she was silent, and I put a foot forward to keep moving before I vomited out more stupidity. Her hand on my elbow stopped me.

  ‘That’s how I feel, too,’ Josephine replied.

  My eyes lifted to hers. ‘Really?’

  She laughed. ‘Well, maybe it’s more accurate to say it feels like stepping on a live wire.’ Her face turned serious. ‘But, at the same time, it’s as if all my chaos goes away. I can take a real breath and I know everything’s going to be okay.’

  ‘Same here,’ I said, keeping my voice carefully even.

  It was Josephine’s turn to look away. Her laughter was gone, her eyes distant. ‘When I say I feel alive around you, what I mean is, it was as if I was just going through the motions before you came along.’ She shook her head. ‘So how does all this fit into the whole Gypsy-guardian bond we’re supposed to share?’

  I pressed my lips together. It was like asking how my crazy, undeniable love for her fit into our weird relationship. I opted for the attempt at humor. ‘Yeah, these sclavs and brands seriously need to come with instructions. I mean, if they can manage a booklet for Lego sets, you’d think we’d at least get a—’

  Josephine touched the dandelion on my wrist, effectively cutting off my words. Her fingers drifted tentatively across my claws – examining their roughly curved shapes and thick tips with hesitant strokes – and then her hand closed around mine. She squeezed with determined, comforting pressure. It felt so perfect, as though my hand had been fashioned for hers, just like this.

  The world felt complete.

  I wanted to hold her, to confess my feelings for her. My chest was so tight I couldn’t breathe. Before I realized what I was doing, my other hand was on her cheek, the claw of my thumb sliding hesitantly across her skin. The sensation was like an electric shock.

  ‘Why are you doing this to me?’ I whispered desperately.

  Josephine’s eyes glistened. ‘I could ask you the same question.’

  It was then that I saw the tortured look behind her eyes – the same torture I’d grown accustomed to living with for so long. I steeled myself, summoning every bit of courage I possessed. ‘Josephine, could you ever—’

  ‘I don’t know, Sebastian,’ she said, her words cutting me off in a soft, painful breath. There was an agonizing beat of silence, and the Gypsy girl closed her eyes, hiding her soul from my view. ‘I don’t know.’

  A long moment passed. There was something reverential in the air, and my hurt and longing mingled together until nothing made sense. Josephine leaned into my hand. There was neither acceptance nor denial in her expression – just raw emotion.

  I stroked her cheek with painstaking tenderness, like caressing fine porcelain, and every minute touch resonated deep in my soul. Our eyes locked, and the electric air enveloped us in a sheltering canopy.

  Until something crashed through the trees.

  I pulled Josephine behind me as I squared off to meet the thing head on. A snarl rose to my throat. I cursed myself for letting my guard down and not using my senses.

  Esmeralda Lucian burst from the underbrush and stumbled, pitching forward into the leaves and dirt. Her red-tipped hair was disheveled, her clothes were torn and dirty, and blood oozed from a gash over her right eye.

  ‘Ezzie!’ I cried, gripping her arms. ‘What happened?’

  She coughed twice, wiped a bit of blood from her lower lip, and shrugged me off. ‘I’m fine,’ she said through clenched teeth, though she looked like she’d just been beaten up in an alley. ‘Mangy dogs. I should have realized they’d catch my scent.’

  My former teacher tried to stand, but gasped and went
back down. She muttered something unintelligible and yanked up the hem of her ripped jeans. A nasty bite mark extended across her shin, and her leg was covered in blood.

  ‘The Marksmen’s dogs,’ I said, remembering Caliban. The guard dog’s sharp teeth couldn’t penetrate my skin, but Esmeralda Lucian wasn’t a full gargoyle. She no longer shared my durable shadowen hide.

  ‘I’ve been human for so long,’ Ezzie said grimly. ‘Sometimes I forget that I still retain remnants of my old self. Like my scent.’

  ‘Ms Lucian,’ sputtered Josephine, kneeling beside us, ‘we need to get you help.’

  Her eyes were wide, and it dawned on me that the Gypsy girl didn’t know what to think. The last time she’d seen Esmeralda Lucian was as a high school teacher directing plays, not crashing through the woods, running from shadowen hunting dogs.

  ‘It’s just Esmeralda,’ she replied, shaking her head at Josephine. ‘And I’ll be fine. I need to get home.’

  ‘Can you stand?’ I asked, offering my hand. She nodded and I helped her up. She felt remarkably strong, and favored her wounded leg only slightly. ‘So where’s home?’

  The gargoyle woman met my gaze. ‘Under the bridge.’

  The sound of dogs baying resounded through the forest. I pressed my palm over my icy torso. I sniffed and smelled Marksmen on the wind. ‘What’s going on, Ezzie? What are you doing out here, and why are they after you?’

  ‘They weren’t, initially.’ Esmeralda grunted in pain and limped towards the trees. I came beside her, putting my arm around her waist. Josephine moved to her other side and did the same. Ezzie forged ahead as she talked. ‘I was tracking Anya and Matthias. I sensed them this morning, and I’ve been on their trail. Unfortunately, they have certain advantages over me, and it took a while to pinpoint their location. By the time I arrived here, the Marksmen were out in full force. No doubt also in pursuit.’

  Ezzie directed us around a clump of trees and down a small embankment with a speed that belied her injured state. I sniffed the air, checking to see how close the patrols were. Their unpleasant scent was growing stronger. ‘Anya and Matthias are the threat, not you.’