Shadow

by Christi J. Whitney

  ‘If a Marksman sees an opportunity to take out a shadow creature – even a banished one like me – they’ll seize it.’ She looked around quickly. ‘Shoot first, ask questions later. You know that’s how they function, Sebastian.’

  Josephine gasped. ‘Wait. You mean, you’re the Esmeralda?’

  I jerked around in surprise. ‘You know about her?’

  ‘Well, yeah,’ she said, staring at Ezzie like she was an artefact in a museum. ‘I heard a lot of stories about the original guardians of the Old Clans when I was a kid. Esmeralda is kind of famous.’

  Ezzie snorted impatiently. ‘Ridiculous Gypsy folklore.’

  ‘So we’ll explain everything to the Marksman,’ continued Josephine. ‘She’s like you, Sebastian. She’s not the enemy.’

  Esmeralda’s eyes sparked silver. ‘Are you sure about that?’

  I slowed my pace. ‘Original guardians?’

  She snarled in frustration. ‘Look, I’m about to choke on the smell of those Gypsy mutts, so if you don’t mind, let’s save our talk for after we get out of the open, all right?’

  The barking of the dogs was frantic now, and we hurried through the woods to the Sutallee Bridge. Despite my changed status among the Romany clan, I had no doubt that the Marksmen would jump at a chance to corner two gargoyles – guardians or not.

  The rippling waters of the Sutallee River materialized into view. Esmeralda made straight for the abandoned mine shaft under the bridge – the one Josephine and I had taken cover inside last autumn.

  Darkness surrounded us as soon as we passed through the opening. Nothing had changed inside the small room with its dirt walls and wooden beams – except for a few additional beer cans and wads of trash. Just down the shaft was a door, hanging precariously from its hinges, its wooden slats ready to disintegrate at any moment.

  ‘Come on,’ Ezzie said, breaking out of our hold. ‘They’re getting closer.’

  She limped ahead; obviously still able to see well enough in the dark, but Josephine wasn’t so lucky. I took her arm and we followed. Ezzie grasped the rusty handle of the door and pulled. The hinges creaked as it opened, and a blast of chilly air filled the room.

  We crept along a narrow passageway with a low ceiling. The air was stale and heavy with the smell of earth and rock. I could see the evidence of human activity. This place certainly wasn’t a secret. And if drunken vandals could find their way in here, then the Marksmen could too.

  Appearances can be deceiving, Sebastian.

  I jolted with the buzz of Ezzie’s voice in my head. She was eerily perceptive. I glanced at Josephine, who was staring blindly ahead, and I answered back in my mind.

  Where are you taking us?

  I told you, returned Ezzie’s soothing voice. To my home.

  We came to a fork in the tunnel. Two tunnels led off to the right and left, their entrances blocked with rotting boards and rusty signs warning us to keep out. Directly in front of us was a pile of rubble, barricading what had obviously been a third tunnel before it had caved in.

  It was a dead end.

  ‘So what now?’ I asked.

  Esmeralda Lucian turned around. In the darkness, her eyes burned silver. I supposed mine did, too. A faint smile crossed her lips. ‘It’s time to enter the shadows.’

  ‘Say that again?’

  ‘You have to use your shadows in order to pass through the wall.’ She gestured to the large pile of debris in front of us. ‘It’s the only way to get inside.’

  ‘Inside what?’ Josephine asked in a wary tone.

  Her fingers tightened on my arm as she stared in the direction of Ezzie’s faintly glowing eyes. The tunnel was too dark for her to see anything else. I opened my wing and curled the bony, talon-tipped edge reassuringly around Josephine’s shoulder.

  ‘There are three tunnels,’ I answered. ‘The middle one has caved in, and there’s pile of rocks blocking the entrance. How do shadows help us get through that, Ezzie?’

  ‘It’s one of your abilities,’ she replied, and I sensed she was trying very hard to be patient with me. ‘And I’m going to assume that Karl hasn’t shared this with you, since you’re looking at me like I’ve gone mad.’

  ‘We’ve been kind of busy,’ I said.

  Her face tightened with disapproval. ‘Too busy …’

  ‘But not anymore,’ I said with a low growl. ‘Tell me about this shadow thing.’

  ‘Shadowing. That’s what we call it.’ Ezzie’s eyes glinted. ‘You’ve realized by now that you have a way of blending into dark spaces.’

  I felt strangely uncomfortable. ‘Yes, but I just thought it was, you know, because of my … my coloring.’

  ‘It’s because of what you are, Sebastian. Roma legends say that stone formed our bodies, but shadows formed our souls. We can manipulate those shadows – bring them to the surface from within.’

  Slowly, things began making sense. ‘You’re referring to the mist.’

  ‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘That’s how I’m able to live here, right under the Marksmen’s noses. The shadows allow us to travel short distances, like passing through a door, even walls as thick and impenetrable as this.’

  I’d seen the other gargoyles disappear within the thick, oily mist. A nervous prickle went down my spine. The idea that I might be able to do the same thing was terrifying.

  ‘It’s almost happened to me before,’ I said. ‘But nothing like what you can do, Ezzie.’ My blood drummed a cadence in my ears. ‘I didn’t have any control. The mist just appeared, and then it was gone again.’

  I heard the barking of the Marksmen’s dogs growing closer. It would only be a matter of time before they caught our scent again. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, demanding I get us to safety. I felt my lip curl away from my teeth.

  ‘You can do this,’ said Esmeralda.

  I studied the pile of rocks. ‘What about Josephine?’

  ‘She can travel with you,’ the gargoyle woman answered. ‘It’s not going to be easy on either of you, unfortunately. Carrying a passenger is difficult, especially when you haven’t done it before. But this is the only way.’

  ‘Wouldn’t it be safer for you to take her?’

  ‘I can’t.’ Esmeralda wiped at the blood trailing from the gash on her forehead. ‘Though I retain a few shadowen abilities, I no longer have your strength. This human body needs to recover, and I can’t be out of commission while those traitor gargoyles remain a threat.’

  ‘They aren’t a threat,’ I said, the statement ringing through the cavern like a confession. ‘At least, not right now.’

  Esmeralda limped to me and studied my expression in the tunnel’s darkness. Understanding flashed in her silvery eyes. ‘Then you’ve been honing your guardian skills. Well done, Sebastian.’

  ‘I don’t want to be congratulated.’ My rising frustration burned like indigestion under my ribs. ‘I killed Thaddeus in the Romany camp. Killed him, Ezzie. With my bare hands. From what I remember of it, anyway.’ I bit back a snarl. ‘And I almost did the same thing to Anya and Matthias. If Josephine hadn’t stopped me—’

  ‘Then you would’ve done what you were created to do,’ finished Esmeralda. ‘Protect the Roma. Those gargoyles have been hell-bent on revenge, even before joining Augustine. They made a choice to abandon their calling a long time ago.’

  ‘It’s more than that,’ I said. ‘They’re chimeras now, like Thaddeus … or something really close. But I don’t understand how that’s possible. We’re different, right?’ I pressed my hands against the spiraled horns protruding from my forehead. Everything in me wanted to scream. ‘I thought we’re supposed to fight them, not become them. Just when I think this shadow world stuff makes sense, it suddenly doesn’t. What’s going on Ezzie?’

  For the first time, Esmeralda looked genuinely disturbed. Her eyes dimmed to normal hazel, and seemed suddenly far away. She crossed the tunnel and ran her fingers along the wall of rubble and stone. ‘We need to hurry, before the dogs sniff us out.’


  I set my jaw. ‘What do I have to do?’

  ‘Focus on one thought,’ she answered. ‘Think only of exactly where you want to be. In this case, right on the other side of this rock wall. Then let your body do the rest.’

  ‘That’s it?’

  ‘That, and one other thing.’ Mist curled around Esmeralda Lucian, swirling with a life of its own through the dead air of the mineshaft. It thickened and changed in color and hue from oily black to heavy smoke. She smiled at me through the inky haze. ‘Trust yourself.’

  The mist engulfed her body, and Esmeralda was gone. I stared at the crumbled rock, as her words hit me between the eyes like a hammer. She was right. It was time to stop fearing what I was capable of. If I could fly, I could do this.

  ‘Wow,’ said Josephine straining to peer into the darkness. ‘She just vanished.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, letting out a deep breath. ‘And now, it’s our turn. That is, if you’re okay with trying this.’

  ‘Let’s do this.’ Josephine’s confidence in me swelled my heart. She slipped her arms around my waist and rested her head against my chest. Shockwaves rushed through me. ‘Good luck, Sebastian.’

  My nerves melted into a tremor of anticipation. I relaxed and concentrated on what I was about to do. I replayed Esmeralda’s exit in my mind. I slowed my breathing. I closed my eyes, visualizing the wall in front of me. Then I imagined myself passing through it, straight to the other side. But something was holding me back. Air was being sucked from my lungs. I couldn’t do this … I couldn’t …

  Esmeralda’s voice buzzed in my head.

  Stop resisting it, Sebastian.

  I squeezed my eyes so hard my head ached. I saw myself going through the rock. I wanted to be on the other side of the rock. I needed to be on the other side of the rock.

  Please, let me make it to the other side.

  Cold shattered my body like I’d just plunged into a frozen lake. My fingers and toes went numb. My breath lodged in my lungs. I felt like I was drowning in a current of frozen ice. I fought to move, but it only made things feel worse – like my chest was being crushed under an iceberg.

  Relax, my mind screamed. I struggled to obey. The pressure released, and I felt myself moving through the frigid current. My lungs burned with the need for oxygen, but there was nothing to breathe. My eyes snapped open. Light flashed around me, and I resurfaced from the freezing depths. I was standing in a cavernous room. Josephine was in my arms.

  Esmeralda greeted us, a smile on her pale face. ‘Welcome to my home.’

  22. Frozen Fire

  The world tilted.

  My knees buckled, but I managed to release Josephine before crumpling to the ground. I panted through clenched teeth, choking back a nauseous dry heave.

  ‘What’s happening to him?’ I heard Josephine ask, but the roar in my ears nearly drowned out her voice. She knelt beside me, looking worried.

  ‘Have him sit until it passes,’ said Esmeralda. She leaned against the rocky wall, breathing heavily, her eyes closed. ‘It only lasts a few moments.’

  To my right was a long wooden pew. With Josephine’s help I pushed myself up and sank onto the bright red cushions, and prayed I wouldn’t vomit on the furniture. Josephine sat next to me. Her breaths sounded shaky.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

  ‘A little dizzy,’ she replied. Her emerald eyes searched my face in such a way that made me feel both excited and uncomfortable. ‘That was incredible! Sebastian, how … how did you do that?’

  ‘I don’t know, but I don’t think I want to do it again.’

  ‘You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?’

  She smiled at me: the crooked, full-lipped smile I loved. The nausea lessened, but in its place, butterflies skittered. This was ridiculous. How could I smother my feelings for Josephine when one smile rocked my world?

  ‘I like to keep you guessing,’ I replied, the corners of my mouth twitching into a grin.

  The walls of the cavern sparkled with flecks of granite and pyrite. Heavy fabrics hung throughout the cavern, and oil paintings lined the walls, framed with curtains to give the semblance of windows. The ceiling was higher than I expected and vaulted like a cathedral dome. It seemed impossible that something so elaborate existed in the ground below the Sutallee Bridge.

  The cavern was sparsely furnished: a small desk and chair, two long pews, and a round table. Worn rugs covered the floors; candles and papers competed for space on the desk, and books were stacked into the nooks and crannies of the room.

  ‘Now you know what it feels like to use your shadows,’ said Ezzie. She pushed aside a heavy curtain and disappeared behind it. She reappeared, holding a small bowl and a cloth. ‘It’s a lot more intense when carrying a passenger.’

  ‘The other gargoyles didn’t seem to have problems with it.’

  ‘They’ve been around a lot longer than you.’ She leaned against the desk and ripped the leg of her jeans up to her knees. ‘You’re technically still a fledgling. In the past, each time a gargoyle was awakened, he was given time to acclimate to the world and develop his abilities before he was branded into Gypsy service. You were left to learn most things on your own.’

  I watched Esmeralda wipe the blood from the bite wound. ‘I had you.’

  ‘I wasn’t able to help you as much as I would have liked.’ She set the cloth aside and glanced at me. ‘Surely you know that.’

  ‘I figured Hugo ordered you not to talk about shadowen stuff with me.’

  ‘Hugo Corsi is not my master,’ Ezzie snapped. Her eyes flashed dangerously. ‘No one is.’ She scooped something out of the bowl and rubbed it into the wound, forming a paste. ‘A little Roma trick,’ she said, calm once more. ‘Herbs to speed the healing process.’ Esmeralda dried her hands then ran her fingers through her matted hair, smoothing the black and red strands into place. ‘But back to your shadowing abilities, Sebastian. You’ll soon learn to manage the side effects.’

  ‘You mean like the desire to lose my lunch?’

  She smiled faintly. ‘Nausea is the worst, isn’t it? That’s why I prefer to use shadowing only in emergencies. My human body especially doesn’t handle it well.’

  Josephine shifted closer to me, but her eyes were on Esmeralda. ‘You really live here, Ms Lucian?’

  The gargoyle woman’s smile froze into place. ‘Just call me Ezzie, Josephine. I’m hardly your teacher anymore. And yes, I do. Just through that tapestry is a smaller cavern I use as my sleeping quarters, but with no indoor plumbing, I’ve appreciated the convenience of working at the school.’

  I couldn’t resist a smile. ‘So the rumors about teachers really living at school—’

  ‘Have some merit in my case,’ finished Ezzie. ‘Although, Hugo has given me the use of his apartment, since you left.’

  My brows shot up. ‘You’re living with my brother now?’

  ‘To keep an eye on the clan,’ she replied levelly.

  ‘Tell me how you’re really connected to Hugo and the others,’ I said. ‘It’s not about being old friends or trading favors back and forth.’ I rose slowly, gingerly from the pew and met her gaze. ‘So what is it?’

  Esmeralda pushed herself from the desk, her posture rigid, even defiant, but when I didn’t back down, she looked almost pleased. Her steely expression softened as she moved to face me head on. ‘Markus was a Corsi.’

  ‘Your charge,’ I said, mostly for Josephine’s benefit, but the words affected Ezzie more than I’d expected. I saw the pain flare behind her eyes. The Gypsy you fell in love with, I added telepathically.

  Her gaze moved briefly to Josephine then returned to me. The stoical expression that set Esmeralda’s face could’ve been my own. ‘Yes. I was assigned to him a long time ago, before the Sundering of the Old Clans. It was my duty to protect him, and I failed. Because of that, I feel I owe it to him to watch over his clan, in what little ways I’m able.’

  ‘But why Sixes?’ I pressed. ‘They aren’t
the only Corsis.’

  ‘I followed Hugo’s parents here from Savannah. I stayed because Zindelo appointed Hugo the head of the clan when they left.’ She studied me carefully. ‘And I stayed because they’d brought with them a young gargoyle who looked like a boy.’

  My wings cramped. I flexed my shoulders, allowing them to expand for a few seconds, then I snapped them in place and shrugged. ‘Well, I don’t anymore. I’m just your average, teenage, run-of-the-mill shadow creature now.’

  Ezzie’s smile returned, less frozen this time. ‘No, you’re different, Sebastian, and Hugo’s clan went to great lengths to hide you. Of course, your presence isn’t a secret anymore. I’ve no doubt that word of the Romany’s gargoyle is spreading among the kumpania.’

  Josephine’s scent permeated my senses as she moved to stand beside me, giving Ezzie a bewildered look. ‘So what if it does? I’d think hearing that a guardian is protecting our camp would be a deterrent to whoever’s behind all this. Like posting security system signs, or one of those “beware of dog” stickers. Only … well, you know.’

  I glanced sideways at her, and she shrugged apologetically, making me grin. Esmeralda stepped past us, her limp already gone. Whatever Gypsy herbs she’d gotten a hold of they certainly were effective. She knelt beside a stack of worn books in the corner. I turned my thoughts to a question.

  Why do you think I’m different, Ezzie?

  Her hand paused – the only indication she’d heard my telepathic voice. I haven’t figured that out yet. Hugo’s parents told me nothing, nor do I think they wished my involvement, so I’ve had to be very careful. You aren’t the only gargoyle in hiding, Sebastian. No one outside of the Corsi clan … and a few of the Romanys … know who I really am.’

  When she didn’t continue, I spoke out loud. ‘Why won’t you tell me your whole story, Esmeralda?’

  Her face hardened like a sheet of ice. ‘Because I can’t.’

  Why do you tell me things, only to push me out again when I want to know more?

  Ezzie’s eyes fixed on me, and their hazel depths were flecked with silver. Our kind exists for one purpose which is to guard the Roma.