by Eva Brandt
As he spoke, he pointed to a third eye, who was still floating in the shadows of the obelisk, leafing through a book and paying no attention to me.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were expecting me.”
“Oh, it’s quite all right,” Azazel replied. “We’re patient. We’ve waited for centuries. What’s a few more years?”
“Also, it’s been hilarious to watch Lucifer try and fail to seduce a human,” Yeqon piped up. “No offense to you, lovely one, but he never had such problems in the past.”
Technically speaking, he hadn’t had problems with me either, but I refrained from pointing that out. My sexuality didn’t matter that much anyway. “About that… Can you tell me a little more about this power of mine? About how it affected them?”
“You already know how it affected them, because they told you,” Azazel replied. “What you’re trying to find out is if there’s something real between you and your lovers anyway. That’s not a question we can answer.”
My shoulders slumped at his response, but I didn’t let my disappointment get to me. I’d been prepared for this. I’d already seen it coming. “That’s fair. So… How do I fix it? How do I get this power to where it’s supposed to be?”
Yeqon’s demeanor sobered at my inquiry. He didn’t have an expression, but he crossed his tentacles in a way that suggested he was thinking. “You’re talking about two different powers, your own and that of your familiar. Your familiar’s isn’t something you can really return. He gave it to you willingly, through his death. But through practice, you can both learn how to use it, the way you would have had he not died. It’s not something you should worry about too much.”
That was good news. I hadn’t permanently harmed my pup because of my idiocy. “And what about my powers? The whole… vessel of hope thing?” Shiro might have given me his skills willingly and we might be able to learn to use our elemental magic together, but that wouldn’t help me if my mind magic kept hurting people.
“I was getting there. There are two methods of releasing your powers, so to speak. The first is pretty much what your nemesis, Eve, did. Incidentally, she wasn’t wrong in trying to eat you. You are an incarnation of the core of the Apple of Creation, so that is natural.”
The concept turned my stomach, but it did explain why I’d been unable to fight her off.
“I’d rather not get eaten, thanks. What’s the second option?”
“You’re sort of already doing it,” Yeqon replied. “You need to learn to control your magic so that you can eventually return it. Lucifer… Well, it seems he grew a little too attached to you. But he wasn’t wrong when he brought you here. I suspect that’s exactly why he told you to come to the academy. It may have been a last ditch attempt to be unbiased about you.”
“So… He wanted me to come here not for himself, but to… Use my power.”
Oddly, I found that comforting. It made sense. Lucifer had once been Satan, for fuck’s sake. It had been strange that he’d want to help me for no particular reason. His affection confused me a little, but maybe it was another sign of my magic acting up.
“He would’ve told you what you were, eventually,” Azazel continued. “Your relationship with the princes of the school just made that… complicated.”
“Because I was influencing them. And Meph as well.”
“Right. If he’d allowed it to continue and hadn’t come to the school now, you might have ended up having an even worse reaction when he did show up.”
He waved his tentacles and an explosion of tiny stars flashed around him. It was a visual effect, not something I felt. I flinched anyway.
Angels needed to come with a seizure warning.
But if I hadn’t gotten sick after I’d been almost eaten, I’d be fine after Azazel’s lightshow. He must have some reason for this display. He didn’t strike me as the type of person to summon flashing lights just because they were pretty—or to tease the resident epileptic.
Confirming my suspicions, the lights soon stopped flashing and a hologram appeared in front of us, one that depicted the human brain.
“As you’ve already been told, the powers you possess act like a pheromone. They subtly influence the nervous systems of your lovers. In a way, they are like an incubus aura, although far more insidious and potent.”
As Azazel spoke, he pointed to the hologram with a tentacle, showing me the areas of the brain my powers affected. It was fascinating, if horrifying.
“Hope is a pure emotion. It is among the few truly pure emotions that exist in the world. That’s why it isn’t something a demonic mind is equipped to handle. That’s why being in your presence is so powerful. Each individual in the school could feel pleasure or pain just by breathing the same air you do. Their reaction depended on what you wanted, on your opinion of them. If you didn’t have a real interest in them, they would’ve felt drawn to you, not as much as your lovers, but just enough to make them do certain things they would’ve normally avoided.”
I remembered Samuel Byte’s notorious invitation to switch houses. At the time, it had seemed offensive and presumptuous, but in light of recent revelations, it had obviously had a deeper meaning.
“Right now, the addiction your lovers suffer from isn’t that serious,” Azazel continued. “If things had kept going in the same direction, they would’ve reached a point where they would’ve been willing to tear the world apart for you.”
I didn’t agree with that. That was why I was here in the first place, because the addiction was already serious. During my coma, my lovers had resorted to that dark ritual, and it had killed several people. They’d never given me the exact details. In hindsight, I should’ve pushed a little more, instead of allowing them to get away with it. Maybe if I had, I’d have realized something wasn’t right.
“So, if I understand you correctly, I need to learn to control my magic. Once that happens, they’ll be safe and they’ll stop loving me. And eventually, I’ll be able to give my power back to whoever needs it.”
“That’s pretty much it, although again, when it comes to the part about their feelings for you, we can’t help.”
They didn’t need to help me with that. I was sure that would happen. Why wouldn’t it? It was plain for everyone to see.
I was a vessel for hope and they loved me because of the power I contained. Once that power was gone, they’d stop.
It sucked, but it was better than the alternative, which would have my lovers enslaved to my subconscious whims.
There was just one problem with Azazel’s suggestion. I was still horrible at using mind magic and I didn’t think I’d master it anytime soon.
“So how long do you think learning this will take me?”
Azazel and Yeqon didn’t answer. Sariel did it in their stead. He abandoned his book, snapping it shut with a tentacle. “Years. At least a decade.”
My breath caught at his almost brutal reply. “That won’t work,” I cried. “If I stay here longer, I’ll hurt them.”
“Precisely, Ms. Michaelis,” Sariel answered, “but you already knew that when you came here.
“You need to decide now. How far are you willing to go to achieve your goals? What is it that you want? Don’t make a hasty decision, because otherwise you might regret it.”
I left the obelisk knowing exactly what I needed to do. It wouldn’t be easy and it would put me in a horrible position. But if I wanted to keep the people I cared about safe, I had to leave them behind.
* * *
When Redrum and I returned to the island, I found my lovers waiting for me on the cliff side, next to Redrum’s lair. They must’ve followed me here and had decided to wait for my return when they’d realized where I’d gone.
As Redrum set me down on the ground, Shiro padded to my side and licked my hand. I welcomed him with a smile, making a mental note to apologize to him for freaking out. I should’ve known better than to panic when Lucifer had told me about
the source of my elemental magic. Shiro’s death had been Satan’s fault and the powers I’d received Shiro’s gift to me. I couldn’t spurn that.
As Shiro took position next to me, my lovers scanned me from head to toe for any injury. I did the same to them, since my departure from the dorm had been eventful.
We were all unharmed, but I didn’t have the courage to start the conversation. Stefan did. “So… The Watchers. You went to see them.”
I nodded, appreciating his straightforwardness now more than ever. “I needed to clear my head and get an unbiased view on what’s been going on. I thought they might be able to help me with that.”
“Not a bad idea,” Lucifer replied. “They tend to be reliable, even if they like to play games and tease people on occasion. Did they help you?”
It was a little surprising that he didn’t blame me for turning to someone else. Then again, The Watchers had been his underlings, sort of, so maybe he trusted them to not make this situation worse than it already was.
“They did, actually,” I replied. Just looking at them renewed my resolve. This would be tough, but necessary. “I’m going to leave the academy.”
The tension between us instantly skyrocketed. Judging by Lucifer’s expression, he wasn’t all that shocked at my decision. Meph’s wings twitched, the way they always did when he was very agitated, but he took it in stride as well. Callum, Stefan, and Mikael were less open to the idea.
“Leave. You want to leave.”
The words echoed between us like a gunshot. I didn’t flinch, but I came very close. Mikael’s voice hadn’t sounded so cold in a long time.
“I don’t want to,” I told him. “I have to.”
Stefan shook his head adamantly, his jaw set in a stubborn jut. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We can stick to what we were doing before.”
“We’re headed in the right direction, Lyssa,” Callum offered as well. “Why spoil it?”
“Headed in the right direction?” I couldn’t believe my ears. “Callum, you can’t be serious. You’re addicted to me!”
“So what? Why is that so bad?”
My brain just about stopped at that response. It was almost as shocking as finding out I was a vessel for hope.
“Lyssa, we are demons and we’re practical people,” Meph said. “We’ve talked it over and it doesn’t bother us. Maybe it’s not exactly what we thought was going on, but at the end of the day, why does it matter?”
“What.”
It wasn’t a question. I didn’t have the composure to vocalize something like that. It was a statement, the only way I could express my horror with the reality he had just exposed.
Mikael decided to explain their train of thought, but that didn’t help me very much.
“It’s simple,” he said. “Before you came, we were stuck in a never-ending circle of viciousness. We didn’t have anything to guide us. Nothing except our ambitions. And I suppose that at the time, it was okay. We were content, in our own way. But now… Now it’s so different.”
Mikael smiled, his eyes glowing with a warmth that made me wonder how anyone had ever missed he was half-angel. “Now, whenever we wake up, we feel like we can take on the world. Our lives have worth. And just seeing you smile makes everything better.
“Maybe it is in part because of your magic. But we don’t care about that. We don’t want to lose it, no matter what its source might be.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s healthy,” I replied, my heart breaking a little more. “If you were yourself, you wouldn’t be saying these things at all.”
“Then maybe we don’t want to go back to who we were, to what we were,” Callum shot back. “If we’re happier like this, princess, why is it bad?”
“It’s not happiness if it’s artificial,” I insisted. “It’s only a lie.”
“And yet, we’ve made it our truth. If the lie is better than the reality, why change it?” Meph walked up to me and cupped my cheek, his clawed hand excruciatingly gentle as it made contact with my skin. “Didn’t you say that you could love like a demon? Well, here’s your chance.”
“This isn’t what I meant and you know it,” I snapped at him.
Forcing myself to control my rampaging emotions, I took a step back. This wasn’t their fault. Of course they wouldn’t accept my departure just like that. They were addicts, and addicts didn’t give up their drugs without a fight.
But that was exactly why this was important, why I needed to make this decision for them.
I couldn’t make them see sense. That much was obvious. But I could rely on them to still listen to my wishes.
“Not everything is about you,” I said. “It’s also about me and what I want.”
I didn’t mean my words, not really, at least not until I said them. Once they came out, I realized they were true.
“I told you once that I wanted to have something real with you and to that, I stand. If everything we share is based on an illusion, it’s pointless.”
“That couldn’t be further from the truth, Alyssa,” Lucifer answered. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have faith in this connection between us.”
His words gave me pause. The Watchers had said that he’d wanted to use me, but his affection for me had existed before he’d come to the school. I wanted to ask him about it, but I didn’t have the courage.
“If there is a connection between us,” I finally said, “then I’ll be happy to pursue it, but not like this.”
Something dark flickered over Lucifer’s expression. For a few seconds, his golden eyes turned crimson, and I remembered that he hadn’t become Satan because he was nice.
“May I remind you that you made a contract with me?” he asked, his tone thick with malicious seduction. “You can’t just leave because you’re no longer in the mood to stay.”
I didn’t allow him to intimidate me. “Will you keep me here forcibly then, even if you know it’s not a good idea?”
That was a stupid question. Of course he would. He’d doubtlessly done far worse things than kidnap a girl he was infatuated with.
But I had another weapon up my sleeve, something I could use against him.“I did almost get eaten today, in case you’ve somehow forgotten.”
The hostility in Lucifer’s stance faded away, but he didn’t give up so quickly. “I haven’t forgotten. But the answer isn’t for you to leave. We can still keep you safe.”
“Can you? I haven’t exactly had the best luck since my arrival here, you know.”
“She has a point, Lucifer,” Meph reasoned. “Eve is haunting the academy. She won’t be able to take physical form in another location. You know how she is. She’s always fixated on you. If Lyssa were to leave, it would give us enough time to handle Eve more cleanly.”
“And we could perhaps hunt Satan down too,” Stefan said, warming up to the idea. “Maybe as a temporary solution, it wouldn’t be so horrible.”
Well, thank fuck they were starting to see things my way. “You can’t just go back to your parents, though, Lyssa,” Callum pointed out. “That’s not a good idea.”
I agreed wholeheartedly with that. Going back home would endanger my family. I was in no condition to be around fragile humans when my powers could cripple demons.
“I was thinking to follow Meph’s advice from the other day, to stay with your parents for a while.
“I still need to take lessons to get my powers under control. But if we put some distance between us, you’d be able to clear your head. And we could all figure out where we stand with one another.
“I think your families would want to help us with that, right?”
Well, maybe not Callum’s family, since it was unclear what they’d do to me after all this clusterfuck with Eve. Hell, I suspected Cain had set up that whole business in the Psyche Manipulation class. It was a pretty big coincidence for him to have his mother show up like that and attack me.
Then again, I hadn’t brought great things in Mikael’s
and Stefan’s lives, so maybe their parents wouldn’t be that happy to see me either.
My best hope might be Archangel Michael. He’d been kind when we’d spoken. I got the feeling that he’d known what I was, and he’d let me go anyway. But Michael was a divine being and I wasn’t sure how to bring him up without causing my lovers to get mad.
“We can’t rely on the Adamson clan,” Callum said, confirming my thoughts, “and Mikael’s family is out of the question. It’s not safe for you to mingle with anyone who has a connection to The Celestial Realm. But Stefan’s pack would be happy to have you. You’d be safe there.”
“That could work,” Shiro said, speaking for the first time since my return. “I’d be able to join Lyssa without too much trouble.”
“Shiro, that could be dangerous,” I said with a frown. “I don’t want you to be turned away.” Based on what I’d heard from Stefan, mutated hell hounds weren’t very popular among their own kind. If this option was too dangerous for my pup, I’d have to try something different.
“I’ll talk to my grandfather and make sure Shiro is welcomed too,” Stefan offered. “It won’t be easy, but it’s probably the best option we have, if you insist on this course of action.”
“Thank you,” I replied, although nervousness was already swirling through my gut. The idea of meeting Stefan’s pack didn’t fill me with much confidence, but it was better than the alternative, staying here. After all, how bad could this be?
Lair of the Hell Hounds
“So this is your mind-controlling human. Interesting.”
“Nice tits. Hips are a little narrow, but strong magic. Would probably be good for breeding.”
“A mutated hell hound for a familiar. Hmm…”
I stood in the center of the wide grove, trying to not let the murmurs get to me. A small group of hell hounds—three males and a female—watched me with dark expressions. Looking into their eyes made me feel smaller and more inadequate than ever. But Stefan had already said this would be tough, and I was still determined to make it work. It helped that my lovers had all insisted on coming to accompany me. Their presence alone solidified my resolve. I had to make a good impression, no matter what, and if that meant ignoring some frustrating comments, I would.