The Forest Ranger's Husband

by Leigh Bale

  Oh, that was silly. Matt was Davie’s father. She shouldn’t begrudge the two of them spending time together and having a good time. She was being foolish.

  Matt smiled and winked at her. “See you two later.”

  Turning, he hobbled off, and a feeling of compassion almost overwhelmed Andie. Watching her previously strong husband now crippled and stumbling with a cane almost broke her heart. It made her want to call him back and ask him to eat pizza and laugh with them. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want this man back in her life, attending Davie’s T-ball games. How could she remain angry at Matt while feeling grateful to him?

  Without loving him?

  She couldn’t. And that bothered her most of all. She refused to love any man. Ever again.

  Matt locked his truck, then turned and faced the redbrick church house. The wide double doors beckoned to him, the sounds of two little girls’ laughter filling the air as they raced ahead of their mother. They each wore a dainty sweater that matched their blue dresses. The warm March weather had brought forth a plethora of tulips, daffodils and green sprouts in the flower beds lining the building.

  “Children, it’s time to be reverent,” the mother called to them.

  They stood holding the door wide while she carried a toddler and a bag of books inside.

  Matt hesitated, feeling nervous and out of place. An odd emotion for him. No matter the situation, he’d always been confident and in control. But not in church and not since the wildfire. Now the only thing he felt certain of was his desire to be a better husband and father and earn Andie’s love again.

  In the mass of flame and smoke, he’d prayed for the first time in his life. Survival was a natural instinct. He’d lived and he couldn’t understand why he’d been pulled to safety while Jim had died. In his darkest hour of pain, Matt had promised the Lord he’d make everything right again, with Andie and with his faith. He just didn’t know how to go about it. He’d never believed in God, but a miracle had been worked on his behalf and now he found himself wanting to believe. Andie might not give him a second chance, but he had to try.

  He didn’t know anyone at church. Maybe Andie and Davie were inside already. But that wouldn’t help. Andie obviously wanted as little to do with Matt as possible. Still, he had to try.

  He limped down the sidewalk edging the green lawn, determined to go inside. Determined to be a better man. His promise to God wasn’t contingent upon feeling comfortable in a new congregation. He wasn’t here to win a popularity contest, but to be near his family and learn about the Lord. Then he could decide if he believed or not.

  Matt lengthened his stride, glad the physical therapy and exercises were strengthening his legs. In the main foyer, he found himself surrounded by happy people greeting one another. Parents bustled their children into the chapel. Two women chatted together as they made last-minute arrangements for an upcoming activity. The air smelled of furniture polish, the gray carpets showing vacuum streaks from a recent cleaning.

  Matt followed the soft sounds of organ music coming from the chapel. Inside, an elderly woman smiled and nodded at him, but didn’t speak as she sat down.

  Matt’s gaze automatically scanned the pews, looking for Andie and Davie, or another friendly face. There they were, his wife and son. Sitting toward the front with Sue and a man Matt assumed must be Brett. They sat with their backs to him, but Matt recognized the slim column of Andie’s graceful neck. She’d pulled her hair up in loose curls and wore a white dress with pink rosebuds edging the dainty collar. She looked so beautiful today.

  Davie sat between Andie and Sue, playing with Sue’s baby daughter. The boy saw Matt and waved.

  “Hi, Dad!”

  Matt tightened his lips. His son certainly was not a quiet child. Several people turned to look at him and he shifted his weight on the cane, feeling uncomfortable with this new attention. Not because he was embarrassed to be Davie’s father, but because he knew his presence upset Andie.

  She turned her head and looked at him from over her shoulder, her eyes filled with alarm. Susan glared for several seconds, then turned around and completely ignored him. Her husband leaned near, listening as she whispered something to him. From her severe expression, Matt could tell she spoke harsh words. The man glanced at Matt, frowned, then responded to Sue. She shook her head, her shoulders stiff. No doubt they were discussing him.

  The black sheep returned to the flock.

  What should Matt do? He couldn’t stand here all day. His leg pounded like a bass drum, and the service would begin soon. He needed to find a place to sit.

  He longed to join his family, but the perturbed glint in Andie’s eyes warned him to stay away. It seemed like everyone in the chapel was staring at him with disapproval. His wife and sister-in-law hated him. This was a mistake.

  He didn’t belong here.

  As he turned to leave, Sue’s husband stood and walked down the aisle to greet him. Dressed in a dark suit with a white shirt and tie, the man held out his hand, and Matt met his gaze with surprise.

  “Hi, Matt. I’m Brett Osborn, Sue’s husband. I believe we’re brothers-in-law.”

  Although Matt stood six feet and three inches, Brett towered over him with beefy arms and hands that spoke of great strength. Matt shook Brett’s hand, stunned by his warm greeting. “I guess so.”

  “Won’t you come and sit with your family?” Brett stood back, holding an arm out to indicate he expected Matt to precede him up the aisle.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Out of his peripheral vision, Matt saw Andie facing forward and wrestling with Davie to get him to do the same.

  Brett lowered his head and whispered for Matt’s ears alone. “You’re not gonna let those two women scare you off, are you? Whether she admits it or not, Andie needs you as much as Davie does. Badly. Come on.”

  Laughter filled Brett’s eyes, and Matt realized he had an ally. As he accompanied Brett up the aisle, Matt hoped he didn’t regret this later on.

  Andie threw him a scowl and forced Sue and the children to scoot down to make room for him on the bench. Matt tried to slide into his seat, but he wasn’t limber enough and ended up bumping against Andie.

  “Sorry,” he murmured.

  She heaved a sigh of resignation, staring at the pulpit.

  Davie crossed in front of his mother and came to sit beside Matt, which forced another bout of scooting down to make more room. “Hi, Daddy.”

  “Hi, sweetheart.” Matt pulled his son up onto his lap and kissed his forehead. It felt good to be wanted by someone. He’d never been a sentimental man, but now he held Davie to him like a lifeline. He loved this child more than anything, except for Andie. If only she could see into his heart and understand how sorry he was for hurting her. How badly he wished she’d forgive him and grant him a second chance.

  As the meeting began, Matt heard Sue’s impatient huff and then another harsh whisper to her husband. “Why did you invite him, Brett? He’s not part of our family anymore. He’s nothing but trouble.”

  Brett’s calm response reassured Matt. “He’s a child of God, just like you and me. And he’s Davie’s father. That makes him part of our family forever.”

  “But he’s not…” Sue’s voice faded as she leaned closer to her husband’s ear.

  Brett put his arm around Sue’s shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze, his voice a quiet murmur. “Show a little Christian compassion, honey.”

  That won Brett an angry glare from Sue. She shrugged his arm away on the pretense of reaching for the baby.

  But what about Andie? She was Matt’s wife; she and Davie were his entire world now. If she refused to accept Matt, he was all alone, no matter how hard Brett tried to advocate on his behalf. Once again, Matt realized with perfect clarity and great regret how Andie must have felt when he’d left her all those years ago. He couldn’t blame her for being distant and angry.

  Andie stared straight ahead, her face void of expression. But he knew from
her tensed shoulders that she was perturbed. It would take a miracle for her to forgive him, but that’s what he needed if he were to ever be whole again.

  Her forgiveness.

  Chapter Eight

  “We’re having roast beef dinner over at Aunt Sue’s house. You’re coming, aren’t you?” Davie looked up at Matt, his face filled with hope.

  They stood in the front foyer of the church following Sunday school. Except for Sue’s hateful glower and Andie’s occasional looks of frustration, Matt had thoroughly enjoyed the lessons he’d learned today. Though he hadn’t participated in the discussion, he’d felt exquisite peace as he’d listened to a talk about the Savior and the Atonement. He wasn’t sure what he believed yet, but he couldn’t explain how he felt. A quiet, warm feeling inside. Even Sue didn’t bother him as he sat beside Andie, breathing in the sweet fragrance of her shampoo.

  “Davie, remember I asked you to check with me first before inviting people over?” Andie lifted her brows at her son.

  “But I didn’t think that meant Dad. He’s not people. He’s family.”

  An expression of aggravation covered Andie’s face.

  “Of course your dad’s invited to dinner,” Brett chimed in.

  Matt’s eyes widened and Sue jabbed her husband with her elbow, her face tight with anger.

  “Here’s our address and phone numbers.” Brett ignored his wife and handed Matt a piece of paper with the info scrawled across it.

  The two women stared at Brett like he’d just grown a tail and horns.

  “Thanks, but I can’t make it.” Matt shook his head, wanting nothing more than to sit down and eat dinner with Andie and Davie.

  He wouldn’t mind spending time getting to know Brett, either, but Sue was a different story. He’d grown weary of her hateful looks and longed to prop up his leg with an ice pack. He dreaded the exercises awaiting him and thought maybe he’d give himself a day off, to rest his leg.

  “Nonsense. We won’t take no for an answer,” Brett said.

  “Brett! He said he’s busy,” Sue warned.

  “Aw, Mom! I want Dad to be with us,” Davie cried.

  Andie’s brows drew together in a thoughtful frown. She studied her son’s anxious face for several moments, then turned to Matt. “Can we speak in private for a few moments?”

  Taking her cue, Brett took the baby from Sue’s arms and headed for the door. “We’ll take the kids outside to wait for you.”

  When they were gone, Andie faced Matt. “I think we need to set some boundaries.”

  He took a deep breath. “Such as?”

  “I know we’re still married, Matt, but we’re separated now. We have been for a very long time.”

  He bit his tongue so hard it hurt. It felt like his heart sank to his knees. “I’m not asking anything from you right now, Andie. I just want to be part of your and Davie’s lives.”

  “But you’re always there, every time I turn around. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic.”

  He lifted one hand. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to be pushy.”

  She shook her head. “Calling me sweetheart doesn’t help. Today isn’t your fault. Brett’s the pushy one.”

  “What does Brett do for a living?”

  She cleared her voice. “He’s a city fireman. A captain, in fact. And very good at his job. I shouldn’t be surprised the two of you get along already. You have a lot in common.”

  “He sounds like a good man.”

  “He is, but I figure Sue’s giving him an ear chewing right about now.” She laughed, the sound like heaven to his ears.

  Matt nodded. “Don’t be hard on him. I’m sure he means well. I won’t come to dinner. You deserve a peaceful Sunday afternoon and I doubt you’ll have that if I’m there.”

  A sigh of relief escaped past her lips. “Frankly I’m surprised you came to church. You never had room in your life for God. I can’t help wondering if you’re here to be near Davie or because you’re really interested in learning about the Lord.”

  “Would you believe it’s both?”

  She peered at his face, as if trying to read the truth there. He was dead serious and hoped to convey his sincerity with his eyes.

  In a change of heart, her body relaxed with resignation. “Okay, I won’t fight you on coming to church. I have no right to judge you, but that doesn’t resolve the problem of our marriage.”

  A man walked by and Matt paused, not wanting to air his personal life to strangers. Then he leaned closer to Andie and spoke low.

  “I don’t want a problem with you, Andie. I just want your forgiveness.”

  Once again, he’d laid his heart out on the chopping block, hoping she wouldn’t refuse his plea.

  Her blue gaze locked with his. He didn’t see anger there, but a longing so intense that he figured it matched his own. Her chin quivered, a sure sign that she was about to cry. And he didn’t want to make her cry ever again. He wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Keep her safe from every sadness life threw at her.

  “Look, honey, I don’t mean to crowd you and Davie. I feel like a miner who’s been trapped a mile underground for three months, and he’s just been brought to the surface and taken his first breath of fresh air. All of this is so new to me.”

  She took a shuddering breath, as though his words gave her a physical blow. “I…I have to go. They’re waiting for me.”

  “Sure, I understand.” He smiled, hoping to make the situation easier on her.

  He couldn’t believe this had happened to them. This was the woman he’d fallen in love with, because they had so much in common and because she was so easy to talk to. Now he felt like a stranger with her.

  Like an estranged husband.

  She flashed him a smile of gratitude. “Thanks for understanding, Matt. But you’re still invited to Davie’s birthday party in a few weeks.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed.” He fought to keep his voice steady, so he wouldn’t betray his sense of disappointment. How he wished he could climb this iron wall looming between them.

  She turned and he watched her go. Every fiber of his being longed to follow her, but he had to give her some space. To slowly win her over. If he ever could.

  A sense of despair engulfed him. Maybe she would never forgive him. Maybe it was too late.

  Andie tucked Davie into his seat belt before driving over to Sue’s house for Sunday dinner. Davie sat quietly in the backseat. Refusing to look at her. No happy chatter. No excitement about the banana cream pie Andie had made for dessert.

  “What’d you talk about in Sunday school today?” she asked him.

  “Forgiveness,” he answered without hesitation.

  Wow—usually she had to pump him for answers. But every once in a while, she realized he actually paid attention.

  “Teacher said we have to forgive everyone, but God forgives who He wants to forgive,” Davie said.

  “That’s right.” She smiled at him in the rearview mirror.

  “Teacher showed us a picture of a bridge and said if we can’t forgive others, we break the bridge we have to cross in order to reach heaven.”

  Andie’s breath hitched in her throat. She was starting to regret this discussion. It made her face her own biases. How could she ever forgive Matt? He seemed to be gaining the faith she’d slowly lost. And she realized that him leaving didn’t excuse her from offering him forgiveness. But even if she could really forgive him, that didn’t mean she wanted him to move back in with her and Davie. She didn’t love him anymore. Their marriage was over.

  Or was it?

  Today had been more than difficult. Not in a million years did she think Matt would ever walk into a church of his own free will. Then Brett had shown him Christian compassion by inviting him to sit with the family. She’d wanted Matt to leave. To go away and leave her alone in her self-righteousness.

  Matt had listened quietly to the sermons, his face almost peaceful. How
could she shun her estranged husband while sitting in the Lord’s house worshipping Him? She felt vile and wicked for her angry thoughts. Who had become the sinner here?

  Susan pounced on her the moment they arrived at her house for dinner.

  “Who does that man think he is?”

  “A son of God,” Brett called from the kitchen.

  “You be quiet. I’m talking to my sister now.” Sue bit out the words from over her shoulder before facing Andie again. “If Matt thinks he can barge back into your life and take up where he left off, he can think again.”

  Davie stood between them, looking at his aunt and mother with wide eyes. His little face became darker and darker, his eyes filling with angry tears.

  “Sue, I don’t think we should talk about this now.” Andie inclined her head toward Davie.

  “The boy has a right to know the truth about his father. He’s no good.”

  “Don’t talk about my daddy that way.” Davie’s voice trembled with hurt and anger.

  “We’re not, honey,” Sue said. “We’re talking about someone else. Someone you don’t—”

  “You’re lying!” Davie yelled. “You hate my daddy. But he’s sorry he left us. He told me so. And now he’s back. Teacher said we have to forgive everyone. She said when the pottigal son returns, we should welcome him with open arms and have a big feast.”

  “Pottigal?” Sue’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Do you mean prodigal?”

  Davie put his little hands on his hips, his expression furious. “That’s what I said. I don’t like it when you talk bad about my daddy.”

  Without another word, the child pushed past Andie and ran outside. The screen door slammed behind him like a shout.

  Andie licked her bottom lip and tossed a glare at her sister. “Now you’ve done it. I asked you not to say anything bad about Matt around Davie. No matter what, Matt is Davie’s father. Forever. That’s not going to change, Sue.”

  “I’m sorry.” The color drained from Sue’s face.