Death Waltz

by A. M. Hargrove

  “What are you thinking?”

  “That I’m frustrated. That you mean every bit as much to me as I do to you. But that we made Smidgen and I already love him too. And there hasn’t been any part of my life that’s ever been easy. I wish for once, that things could go smoothly. You know, uncomplicated.”

  “I wish that a thousand times over. But right now, I want you to feel better.”

  She clutched his shirt and held on to him tightly. “I thought you’d abandoned me.”

  “I would never do that. Ever.”

  “You remember that day on Earth when we had our first date? And we got into an argument because I was angry with you that you didn’t know anything about me?”

  His had tugged through his hair. “How could I ever forget?”

  Liasare thought back to that day for a second. “Well, you said something about not knowing what kind of wedding I’d want and I told you I never allowed myself to dream of that type of thing. And that was true. That also applied to children. Never in a million years did I think I would have a family. I assumed the closest I would get to that would be January’s kids. Even after we got together, I never thought about it. I had closed that part of my mind off to thoughts such as those. And here I am. Madly in love with you and carrying the product of that love inside of me. And you’re saying you don’t want me to carry this child.”

  “I am, but only because of what it could do to you. Not because I wouldn’t love it. Can you not understand?”

  “I can ask the same of you. You’re asking me to give up a part of my life ... of your life.”

  Jurek shuddered. His thoughts raced back to when Larensa found out about her pregnancy and how he pleaded with her to end it. She also had refused. He knew it was the mother’s natural inclination to protect their young, and he was trying to understand and put his selfishness aside, but he was having great difficulty here.

  “Liasare, I wish I could give you dozens of children, without risk, of course. I wish we could be like January and Rykerian. But look at what happened to you in the past day. Had I not returned when I did, I can’t even think of what may have taken place. Fuck, I’m so sorry I left. And this is only the beginning. The next five months may take their toll.”

  “Five months?”

  “Yes. The length of your pregnancy.”

  “Praestani pregnancies are only five months?”

  “Yes. The babies grow much faster than human fetuses do. The last month is when most of the growth occurs.”

  “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

  “And what about Abaddon? Don’t you think he’ll use this against you?”

  Liasare went completely rigid in Jurek’s arms. Her body began to spark and radiate more heat than ever. “If that motherfucker touches my Smidgen, I’ll destroy him and every one of his Dark Creatures,” she growled. Her voice reverberated throughout the room, causing the furniture to vibrate.

  “Liasare, stay calm. I don’t want your body to overheat again.”

  “I’m serious, Alaric.”

  While he was happy that she called him by that name, he was concerned for her emotional state.

  “I know you are, love. But let’s not get too upset over it right now.”

  She looked at him and her eyes were solid black. They had never morphed into that before and it startled him.

  “Bloody fuck,” he mumbled.

  Her nostrils flared as she panted, and while she stared across the room, a beam of light shot from her eyes and disintegrated a chair.

  “Liasare, control it. Now,” Jurek said urgently.

  She closed her eyes.

  “Breathe, deep. Long and slow.” He felt her body relaxing and she sagged in his lap. “I’d better not bring his name up again,” Jurek said.

  “That’s not even funny.”

  “Wasn’t trying to be.” He brushed her hair off her face and handed her some of the lemon water.

  After she took several sips, she said, “I didn’t know I could do that.”

  “I didn’t either. Seems you’ve acquired every Praestani power there is. And then some.”

  Liasare noticed how troubled Jurek looked. The shadows beneath his eyes and the furrows in his forehead indicated how stressed he was. She didn’t want them there and worse yet, she knew she was the cause of them. The pads of her thumbs gently massaged them and she gave him a sad tiny smile. “I’m sorry Smidgen and I put these here.”

  Jurek wrapped his long fingers around hers and bought them up to his lips. He placed kisses on each one of them. “It’s not your fault, love. It’s not like I didn’t know what caused this. I should have taken precautions. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

  “I do. You were thinking about me and my girlie parts.”

  “That I was.”

  “Alaric, promise me something. If I die, promise me you’ll take good care of Smidgen.”

  “I won’t survive either, Liasare.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “I’ll make it so.”

  “No! You can’t do that. You have to live to raise our Smidgen. Promise me that! Now!”

  He squeezed his eyes shut for a second and then nodded. Though he knew without a doubt he could never make good on his promise if that time came to be. He knew if Liasare left this realm, his soul would leave his body and go with her, and he would have to follow it into the next realm. He also knew she couldn’t possibly understand that.

  ***

  They both had drifted asleep and awoke hours later. Liasare was starving, so it appeared her body temperature was leveling out. Jurek called Brinna for some food and while they sat there eating, she asked him about the pregnancy.

  “So what’s this thing about the body temp?”

  He smiled. “It’s the fetus. It’s beginning to grow and when it does that’s its power you’re feeling. The mother’s body temperature soars in response to the baby’s energy.”

  “So, what was happening to me is that my temperature rose and I got really nauseated. I should’ve been sipping fluids all along, but I didn’t know so I became dehydrated.”

  “Precisely. And you need to drink warm or hot fluids and not cold. The idea isn’t to lower your body temperature but to let you adjust to what’s taking place within you.”

  “Oh, I get it now. No wonder every time I guzzled all that water I threw up.”

  “And made it worse. It was fighting the cooling process.”

  Liasare sat straight up and asked, “Five months? That’s it?”

  Jurek’s face darkened and he replied, “Yes. Only five months.”

  “Tell me why the Praestani women die.”

  Jurek’s face fell. “It’s the young’s power. It’s at it’s strongest when they’re born and the baby can’t control when they shift. The mother can’t hold the baby long in its energy form and soon, the mother dies because the power kills her. Then the baby dies because no one can care for it. If the mother can make it past the first week, or even the first few days, then things even out. The baby stays in its mass form for longer periods at a time and its power weakens. The mother is able to shift too, and hold the baby. But initially, it’s terrible. Most don’t make it. For some reason, the trend has altered and in recent years, more mothers die than they did thousands of years ago. If our species didn’t live so long, we would probably be extinct by now.”

  “And the father?”

  “Is helpless. He can barely touch the infant. The baby is bonded with the mother and they share the same power stream. Think about it. The baby has been in the womb for several months so in a sense, it’s a part of the mother. Even though the power recognizes the mother, it’s still so potent that it can destroy her.”

  “I’m not going to die, Alaric. I saw Lexus in my dream and she told me.”

  Jurek nodded. “That’s good. What did she say?”

  “You don’t believe me.”

  He looked at her and said, “I do. But let’s say I’m skepti
cal. I’ve faced too much death, love, with respect to this subject. So I’ll make the best of these five months and protect you as best I can. If my mother says you’re not going to die, I pray she’s right.”

  “She said the Light can’t die and that I’m the key to the Praestani people surviving. And that you’re not to worry and that we’re going to have a bunch a kids.”

  Jurek’s head swiveled so he could look Liasare in the eye. “She said all of that? And you remember it all?”

  Liasare laughed. “Every word.”

  Jurek was on his feet so fast, that his plate of food went flying. Then he paced. Right after he nearly tore all the hair out of his head. “Christ, Liasare, she’s right. She has to be right. That was another part of the prophecy. The key to the Light would also be the key to the proliferation of the Praestani. Holy fuck. You’re it. Not only in defeating Abaddon, but also in strengthening our people. That’s why that motherfucker wants you so badly. With you at the helm of Praestan, we can clearly rule the universe for all the good again. But how?”

  “I’m not sure yet, but I know it will be revealed to me soon. And let’s stomp the fuck out of Hell and Abaddon! This whole thing makes perfect sense! Is anyone ever gonna show me this prophecy?”

  Jurek laughed as hard as she’d ever seen him laugh.

  “What’s so funny?”

  He didn’t answer but took several long strides to the bed, lifted her up in his arms, and swung her around in a circle a few times.

  “You have to stop or I’m gonna throw up!” she cried.

  He was still laughing when he set her down. “I can’t show you the prophecy because it doesn’t exist. No one’s ever seen it. We only know what’s been passed down by word of mouth.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s just crazy. Why the heck didn’t anyone ever write it down?”

  “Who knows? I guess they never wanted anyone to get their hands on it for whatever reason.”

  Liasare’s stomach let out a huge growl. She looked down at it and frowned. She had just packed away pancakes, eggs, bacon, fruit, two large pieces toast, and tea. How could she possibly be hungry again?

  “Did you eat all your food?”

  “Brinna!”

  The young girl flashed into their room. Jurek cleared his throat and began. “Brinna, Liasare is with child ...” and before he could say anything else, she squealed and hopped on one foot. Then she disappeared. What the hell was that all about?

  Liasare looked as bewildered as he felt. He was getting ready to call out to Naroo when a bevy of servants appeared, led by Brinna. She giggled and tittered about, like she’d never seen Jurek or Liasare before. She directed the staff where to put all the food and drinks and there was enough for a damn army. Liasare’s eyes lit up as she spied all the cakes and cookies. There were even containers of ice cream packed in ice so she could make sundaes if she wanted.

  “Brinna, you are a genius!” Liasare cried as she jumped out of bed to hug the girl. “I’m starving.”

  “Oh, I just knew you would be, my lady. Let me know when you need replenishing. You must eat often.”

  “Oh and Brinna, we need the bathroom in our bedroom at the house repaired.”

  “I’ve already seen to that my lady. They will be working on that this week.”

  “Perfect and thank you!”

  Liasare dashed to the food buffet the girls had set up for her and started digging in. Jurek stood to the side, afraid to get in her way. She filled a bowl with cake and on top of it she added ice cream and some chocolate topping. Then for the grand finale, she dolloped a good dose of whipped cream on top.

  “Mmm, want some?” she asked, her mouth full of the sweet concoction.

  Scratching his head, he said, “Er, no thanks. I’m good with that huge breakfast I just ate.”

  “Yeah, about that. I’m gonna need a little more than what we had. And why am I so hungry all of a sudden?”

  “Your metabolism is through the roof. The energy of the fetus is so hot that it’s spiking yours. Eat away, love,” he said, laughing.

  He glanced over at her and noticed she was already refilling her bowl.

  Holy shit. She was going to diminish the food supply on the planet if she kept this up.

  “You did not just think that, did you? Hey, how did I do that? I didn’t even try.”

  Jurek expelled his breath. Like he’d been held underwater for weeks. This is going to be a loooooong five months.

  “Oh. My. God! You could at least be a little nicer.”

  “How’s this? I don’t care how much you stuff yourself. I love your face a million times over. And our little Smidgen.”

  Her face softened, but then her eyes started swirling gold. She licked her lips and parted them as she walked toward him. When she reached him, her hands tugged him closer to her, and right before she kissed him, she said, “I want us to have some serious make up sex. We were really pissed off at each other and we didn’t do that, so we’re going to do it now.” Then her mouth was on his and how the heck could he say no to that?

  Chapter Fifteen

  They met in the conference room on Lare-Stell. Jurek, Liasare, Tak, Naroo, Marik, Ludo, and Tommy were all present. The main reason for the meeting was to announce Liasare’s pregnancy.

  Tak was the first to speak. “I congratulate you, though I do so with a heavy heart.”

  “No! I will survive this. It’s part of the prophecy. Lexus came to me and told me.”

  Jurek went on to explain how it all tied into Abaddon’s desire to have Liasare in his realm. How Abaddon not only wanted to usurp her powers for the dark, but that he also wanted to prevent her from reigniting the future of the Praestani.

  “This way, he still retains power instead of the people of Praestan.”

  “That makes absolute sense now,” Naroo said.

  “So, Brownie, you’re gonna be a mother, huh?”

  Liasare grinned. “Yeah.”

  Jurek interrupted. “Just a small word of advice. Stay out of her way if she has her eye on any food. Just a small warning.”

  “Don’t tell me she’s worse than before?” Tak asked.

  “No comparison.”

  Liasare scowled at them.

  Tommy looked confused. That is until Tak took great pleasure in regaling him with a colorful account of Liasare’s eating escapades. By the time he finished with his tale, everyone was laughing, including Liasare.

  “Speaking of, I think it’s snack time. I’m hitting one of the transmuters for some grub. Anyone care to join me?”

  No one responded. She stood there and tapped her toe.

  “Um, love, we all just ate breakfast about thirty minutes ago.”

  “Pfft. That was too long. I’m hungry again.” Right then, her belly answered her with a gigantic gurgle. “See what I mean?”

  “Okay. Why don’t you go and eat then?”

  “I don’t want to miss anything.” She pouted.

  Jurek was seeing a different side of Liasare right now. He was used to a fighter and an independent woman. Right now, that’s not what how she was acting.

  “You can always bring it back here to eat,” he suggested.

  “But I can’t carry it all.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Liasare, can you just go and get the goddamn food already?” he snapped.

  Her eyes narrowed and then when he thought she would snap back, he noticed her lower lip tremble as she scurried out of the room.

  “Goddammit,” he shouted to no one in particular. But all eyes were on him. Accusatory. Judge and jury, condemning. Asshole, they screamed. “Excuse me. I must go and apologize to my mate for being such a fucking prick.”

  He flashed to their quarters but she wasn’t there. Now where the hell was she? He could sense her powers on Lare-Stell so he knew she hadn’t gone back to Praestan. He checked the training center, but it was dark and she wasn’t there. He went to Tommy’s quarters, but no luck. On a whim, he decided to check her old quarters and that’
s where he found her, perched on her window seat, looking out at the stars.

  “I’m sorry. I’m an insensitive dick.”

  She spoke without looking at him. “The first time I ever came to Lare-Stell was the first time I had ever been in space. I remember when Naroo brought me to these quarters. I sat here and was mesmerized by this view. It was so magnificent; I could barely breathe. I kept thinking—so this is what everyone talks about all the time. All the stars. It was so unreal ... so magical. It still amazes me. That’s how I feel right now. My body is doing all these crazy things. I’ll eat a ton of food and twenty minutes later I’m starving again. And I’m so hot. Burning up like fire. And I crave sex. I think about you naked all the time. If you walk past me and I get even the tiniest hint of your scent, an ache blooms within me and escalates to the point where it becomes painful. My breasts are swollen and heavy and I’m constantly wet for you. And let’s not even talk about my emotions. One minute I’m on top of the world and the next I want to cry my eyes out ... just like someone has flipped a switch in my head. This pregnancy thing—I don’t know how women handle it. I’m doing my best to control this stuff but it’s like I’m freaking nutshit psycho or something. This is not how I want to act. Something comes over me and, well, there’s crazy Liasare again. Like right now and I can’t seem to get a grip.” Tears rush down her cheeks and he was there by her side, arms around her, whispering all sorts of sweet things to her.

  When she gained control of herself, she said, “I’m sorry ...”

  “Shh. I’m the one who is sorry. I need to be more in tune to your feelings. More mindful of what you’re experiencing. And I’m not. You haven’t told me about all this. Why?”

  “I didn’t want to sound like I was complaining.”

  “Liasare, you’re not the type to complain. I’d never think of you as that.”

  “When I had the crash, my mother always told me I complained, so I’ve learned to keep things to myself.”