Color-Blind

by Daya Daniels

  A hoarse growl escaped his throat causing me to shiver beneath him.

  I wailed at the feeling of his thick cock deep inside of me, the slide of me on his flesh, the helpless throb it made deep inside of me suggesting he was close to coming soon.

  Covered in sweat and going at it like a savage, he finally came with a growl so loud he could’ve woken the comatose. My pussy wrapped around him, milking his length of precum as he spilled into me, filling me with everything he had to give.

  He collapsed on top of me, covered in sweat, brushing his cheek over the hot skin on my shoulder. His heavy weight pressed me deeper into the mattress, while he rained kisses across my skin.

  “I love you.” I whimpered over and over, feeling at this man’s mercy.

  God, I fucking loved him.

  “You know I love you, Violet.” He said softly, still breathing heavily into my neck. “You know I do.”

  He shifted onto his side, taking the weight of me with him, pulling the comforter on top of us.

  “You should sleep.” He whispered. “You have a long day ahead tomorrow.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Violet

  “Violet.” My name was a whisper on Dr. Randall’s lips. “Violet.”

  I was surrounded by a warm blanket, dim lighting and the overuse of someone’s disgusting pineapple body mist at the Oregon Health and Science University Hospital.

  I already didn’t want to be here.

  “Yes.” I said softly, shifting around searching for the direction of his raspy voice that held too many years of puffing on cigs in it.

  “The bandages must stay on for now but how are you feeling?” He asked with a smile in his voice.

  “I feel ok-okay, I guess.”

  “Everything went well, Violet. So very well. I know you’ve always had light perception but would you say you have more now?”

  Inhale. Exhale.

  “Yes, I suppose.”

  Dr. Randall chuckled. “That’s good, Violet. Are you feeling a little excited yet?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s good. We want you excited.

  “Now although the eyes are delicate, they heal quickly.”

  “I want to be out of here in a day, Dr. Randall.” I demanded, not caring if he would be breaking his usual set of rules.

  “Well, you should rest up Violet. I’m honestly not sure if that will be possible. We still need to do some tests and to make sure that everything with your vision is good before you leave.”

  An annoyed breath left my lungs. “Either it worked or it didn’t, right?”

  “Yes and no, Violet. It’s not really that simple. I wish it were.”

  “When will you know then?”

  “In a few days.”

  “If you leave you run the risk of creating a lot of problems to yourself and damage to your eyes, Violet. For example, headaches or debilitating migraines from the sudden exposure to sunlight.”

  “I understand.”

  “Relax here. I know the food isn’t great but you’re in good hands with the nurses here. We will have you out possibly in two weeks.”

  “Okay.” I said. “No press, Dr. Randall.”

  “Of course not.” He said softly touching my hand before exiting the room.

  I rested there for a while, listening to the silence and the distance sound of people talking far away.

  “What time is it?” I asked whomever was still lingering in my hospital room.

  “It’s a – a three in the afternoon, Ms. Sawyer.” A woman’s soft voice replied.

  “Oh.” I huffed.

  “Can I please have my phone?”

  “You’re not allowed to use phones in here.”

  “Fuck.” I muttered, twisting my body to turn over.

  The woman approached, pineapple mist and all. “I’m sorry. It’s just the rules but if you need me to call someone for you I – I can.”

  “It’s fine.” I mumbled. “Please get out.”

  The woman hesitated to speak. The pitter patter of her orthopedic nursing shoes against the tile told me that she was gone. I exhaled an angry a breath into the soft linen beneath me and shut my eyes, while excitement swirled around in my belly.

  Things would be different now. I thought about everything I’d finally be able to do. I could learn how to drive – to cook, to see a movie, to read.

  People thought that reading braille was easy but it wasn’t. I’d only rely on braille to read signs, elevator numbers, labels on paint tins, things like that but never to read. A book translated into braille could be huge. I’d spend so much time decoding the language that it was hard to just enjoy the fucking book. Audio books were a lifesaver but still I wanted to read.

  I’d finally see my father’s face and Elijah. Elijah...my insides warm with hope.

  ***

  “I snuck in here.” The voice said, jolting me out of my sleep.

  I stirred awake, nearly forgetting that soon I’d be able to see.

  “Violet.” He whispered, running his hands through my hair. “I missed you.” Elijah said. “I had a call from Davi to say that everything was okay but I had to come and see you myself. I thought he was just your driver?”

  I kissed his lips, inhaling his familiar scent that I already missed. “He is but he offered to keep everyone in the loop. So, I accepted. What time is it?”

  “It’s late – after nine at night.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, dragging my fingers over his thick hoodie.

  “I just made it here before visiting hours would be over.”

  “Thank you for coming. I didn’t think you would -.”

  “Of course, Violet.” His large hands glided over my face, cupping them in his hands before he pressed a kiss to my lips.

  “They said I’ll be out of here in a few days. I want to leave now.”

  “Violet, please. These people are here to help you. Anything they tell you, you really should listen to.”

  “Yes, sir.” I joked, while he smoothed his fingers over the back of my hand.

  “Excuse me but you’re not supposed to -.” The woman said followed by an audible yelp that caused me to flinch, when Elijah moved away from me.

  “I should go.” He rattled out. “I’ll come back.”

  “Okay, I love you.” I mumbled but he was gone before he could say the words back.

  Violet

  He never came back.

  I’d been here nearly a week now and I was going insane. My eyes were still covered by bandages and I’d had enough vanilla pudding to make me want to commit suicide. I wanted desperately to get back into my studio but I knew it wouldn’t be happening any time soon and the realization only depressed me.

  It was against hospital policy but searching for my phone, I sent off a voice note to Davi asking him to be at the hospital in an hour to collect me.

  I slouched against the back of the bed, feeling bored, listening to the television in the distance.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, inhaling a familiar scent.

  “I just came to check on you. I heard you were in the hospital.” Jared answered. “I brought you roses - red ones.”

  “Thanks.” I whispered.

  “You weren’t at the wedding.” He said.

  “I wasn’t invited, didn’t know anything about it.” I huffed.

  I’d been told Brooke and Kyle got married three days ago in Eugene. I hadn’t had much contact with her since our last argument but I knew she was still working hard to find me a replacement for her. A woman named Lindsay Johnson was high up on the list who was solid and had a good reputation.

  Good’ol loyal Brookie.

  Jared sighed and placed his hand on mine while I slowly pulled mine away.

  “You’ll be able to see now, Violet. I can only imagine what that’ll be like. Seeing everything for the first time. It will be like being given a second chance. A second life to do everything you ever imagined.”

  “That’s t
he plan. I hope so anyway.” I told him dryly.

  “So, you’ll get the chance to see your boyfriend then.” He pointed out, his voice pitching with the statement. “What’s his name again?”

  “Elijah. His name is Elijah.”

  “Right, yeah Elijah. The doctor?”

  “Yes.”

  “He must be a really smart guy, PhD and all.”

  “Yes, he is.

  “Did you come here to talk about him Jared or to just check on me?”

  He let out a humorless laugh. “I miss you, Violet. I just don’t understand how you can give this guy a chance but you can’t give me another. “He said with sincerity. “I don’t get it. If you saw his face Violet you -.”

  “Jared stop.” I said exhaling. “I love him. I just do and that’s why we’re together.”

  “I know me doing all this is probably a waste of time but I just think that if I keep letting you know how I feel then maybe you’ll just try again, you know. Give us another chance. You’re so different now. I wonder if maybe it was me.”

  “No, Jared. I just think we weren’t right together. In fact, I don’t think I was right for anyone.”

  “Except you’re right for him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. I’m not going to pretend that those were the words I wanted to hear…because they weren’t.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You just seem so soft, Violet.” His fingers skittered over my hand. “That’s everything I wanted you to be with me. I just wanted you to let me in, talk to me, spend time with me, maybe even fall in love with me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Three years.”

  I pressed my lips together. “Why do you pretend you were so in love with me Jared when you were dicking only God knows how many women while we were together.”

  “Because, I was in love with you Violet but all you did was reject me time and time again.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say. I forgive you. I release you from wanting to be with me. I release you from being in love with me.” I said dramatically, tossing my arms up in the air.

  “It doesn’t work that way.” He laughed.

  A tangle of voices just outside the door halted our conversation.

  “Violet.” James greeted with Fiona on his heels.

  “Dad.” I said as he pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly.

  “Oh, Violet.”

  “Mr. Sawyer.” Jared said. “It’s good to see you.” The slapping of their hands confirmed they’d both shaken each other’s. “I’ll be going.” Jared said as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Take care, Violet.”

  “You too, Jared.” I told him.

  “Hello, Violet.” Fiona chirped.

  “I want to see you, Dad.” I complained, tearing at the bandages covering my eyes.

  “Violet, don’t.” James said raising his voice but it was too late, the gauze was already off.

  “Goddammit, Violet.” He growled, leaning in to stare at me.

  Blinding white light hit me from the overhead neons and slowly a handsome face came into view. I gasped, while tears instantly poured from my eyes when I took in the sight of my father and a tiny woman just off to his left.

  His strong hands gripped my shoulders while he leaned in allowing me to see his kind eyes.

  “Daddy.” I cried while he held me, wiping his own tears.

  “We were supposed to get all of this on camera, James.” Fiona complained. “The doctor was supposed to be here too. Oh, my God.”

  “You really can see?” James asked, shaking me furiously. “This is incredible.” He sniffled.

  I sat in front of him for what felt like forever taking in my surroundings and staring at myself, trying to convince myself I didn’t feel dizzy when my world really was spinning.

  “Please go and page Dr. Randall.” James barked to the nurse that came in behind him. Her face nearly collapsed in devastation when she saw that I’d torn away my bandages. She scrambled out of the room and dashed away.

  “Dad, I want to get out of here.”

  “Yes, of course Violet but this is not the way. Please don’t do this.” He begged.

  A moment later, Dr. Randall rushed into the room, his mouth gaped open, brows knotted and chest heaving which suggested he’d nearly run down the hallway at breakneck speed to be here. His eyes widened as he approached holding his arms out as though I’d detonate at any moment. “Violet.” He breathed out. “Please everyone clear the room. Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer, it’s best you come back tomorrow. I’ll need to rebandage Violet and she needs rest.”

  James touched my shoulder before grabbing Fiona and leaving the room.

  “We will be back tomorrow morning.” He said, still wiping his tears.

  Only, I won’t be here.

  “Okay, Dad.” I said giving me a smile.

  The door shut while I rustled around shoving items into my bag.

  “Violet, please.” Dr. Randall rattled out, approaching me to examine my eyes, stopping me for a moment.

  The nurse stood off in the distance with her arms folded across her chest, giving me molten glare.

  “How do you feel?” Dr. Randall asked.

  “I feel fine.”

  A knock on the door caused us both to look in the direction of it. A man approached placing his hand in the center of his chest. “Davi.”

  A huge smile spread across my face. “Please get my bags, Davi.”

  Davi gave me a nod and swooped everything up.

  “Ma’am, you can’t just leave!” The nurse screamed as I rushed around the room. “Dr. Randall, you can’t allow this.” She yelled. “This woman just had major surgery!”

  Dr. Randall scrubbed his face with his hands and sighed.

  “Are you ready?” Davi asked.

  “Yes, let’s go.” I barked, shoving past the nurse knocking her out of the way.

  “Violet, please. There could be complications. Please call me if you ever start to feel dizzy or nauseous.”

  “Okay, I promise.” I sang out rushing back towards Dr. Randall. When I reached him, I pushed up on my tippy toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Dr. Randall. Thank you so much!” I laughed.

  We rushed down the wide hallways of the hospital, making it to the elevator. As soon as we reached the car park, Davi opened the door and I clambered inside finding a seat. In less than a few seconds, he was sitting in the driver’s seat and had started the engine.

  “Okay.” He exhaled. “Where do you want to go?”

  “Give me your sunglasses.” I said extending an arm for them impatiently.

  “Okay.” He said with a shrug, handing them to me.

  “Destination again?”

  “753 Nob Hill.” I told him.

  Violet

  “I think this is it.” I said softly as we pulled up on a tree-lined, snow-covered street in the SUV.

  “Do you want me to come with you?” He asked glancing over his shoulder.

  “No. Yes. I don’t know. Maybe.” I sighed.

  Davi leaned forward, narrowing his eyes to stare at the house across the street. “Who lives here?”

  “It’s my mother’s house.”

  His face visibly blanched but he didn’t speak. I shuffled out of the car, inhaling the cold November air. I reached for the handle at the same time Davi stepped out of the car and made it to my door.

  I didn’t know what I’d do or what I’d say. Would she invite me in for tea and crumpets? Did she even remember me? What does a woman say to a child she abandoned nearly thirty years ago?

  Would she apologize? Would she simply pretend not to know me?

  “I’m just going to say hello.” I told him.

  Rushing across the street, I took a few stairs until I reached the door. A lit cigarette dangled from Davi’s lips when I glanced over my shoulder to see him leaning against the SUV.

  I knocked on the door, fixated on the cheery welcome mat at my feet. I waited
and waited. There was no answer but the curtain at the window to my left rustled and a woman’s face to came into view, revealing her brown hair pulled back and the glasses she wore.

  Was it her?

  The curtain dropped and the woman disappeared but still the door didn’t open.

  This time I rang the doorbell. Still, no answer. I rang the doorbell a few more times, then began to pound and pound on the door, feeling my frustration growing wild.

  All I imagined was this cow sitting down to have dinner with her family every night – her three perfect daughters. I thought about what they did together on Mother’s Day. I wondered if she went to all their school plays. Was she there to talk to them about boys? Did she explain to each of her daughters what a period was? What the first time would be like? Did they brush each other’s hair and paint each other’s toes?

  Here, Mrs. Teger was a mother. She’d left my father and I and ran off to start her own family. She’d abandoned us.

  The reality that I’d been long forgotten about filled me with rage – with a sadness so thick it felt like a wool blanket suffocating me in the summer. I hated this woman but still, I had a sickening, sadistic desire to know why. I just wanted to know why!

  “Come to the door, Mrs. Teger!” I yelled. “I know you’re in there.”

  She peeked again through the sheer curtains, observing me as though a queen would look at her subjects. All I now felt was rage. This woman hadn’t seen me in twenty-nine years and here I was on her doorstep and she didn’t even want to talk to me, to see my face. I only banged harder while fat tears rolled down my cheeks and my voice grew hoarse.

  “Come out, you coward!” I kicked the door. “You were a coward then and you’re a coward now!” I banged on the door harder with a balled-up fist, ignoring the pain that radiated from the bones in my hand. “I’m your daughter!” I shouted, not caring that her neighbors would hear the commotion. “I can see now!” I shrieked, still banging on the door.

  Before I knew it, Davi was behind me, restraining me, pulling me away from the house and through the thick snow that covered the walkway.

  The woman appeared at the window again. She only stood there, holding the curtain in her hand. She was a statue, watching everything unfold outside the front of her house, unaffected. Like stone.