Color-Blind

by Daya Daniels

  “Violet, we should leave. She’s not going to open up.” He grated out, dragging my full weight when I collapsed, after kicking over an empty flower pot that shattered in pieces on the concrete.

  “You fucking coward!” I yelled, feeling the heat in my ears and hearing my voice crack. “You’re a coward, Mrs. Teger!

  I screamed and I cried meeting the woman’s stone face. She only stood there watching me as I was dragged away from Davi, breaking out of his hold when I made it to the sidewalk. I karate kicked the mailbox over and it broke and hit the ground with a bang.

  “I can see now, you bitch! They fixed me!”

  Davi grappled with me again, securing me tightly in his arms.

  A few neighbors had come outside to take in the show in front of them. They covered their mouths with their hands, watching the abhorrent spectacle that was me.

  Mrs. Teger dropped the curtain and disappeared as I cried.

  “This wasn’t a good idea.” Davi mumbled putting me into the SUV and shutting the door.

  He started the engine and we drove away.

  Elijah

  It was late in the evening when I stood in the center of Dylan’s room.

  Two medium-sized cardboard boxes rested in the middle on the carpet in preparation for what I was about to do. I took a deep breath and started with his books, occasionally looking at the spines of them as I rested each one in the box. Most of them were on science and geography – his favorite subjects.

  I ignored the buzzing of my iPhone that rested on the desk when I saw the faceplate glow with Violet’s name flashing across it.

  Inwardly, I sighed but proceeded with my task. When I was done, I taped it up and labeled it, pushing it to the side. I grabbed the second box, placing all his gadgets in and old toys. Each time I placed an item in the bottom of the cardboard box, I wiped a tear away. His collection of magnets stuck to his standing lamp. His collection of sea shells he’d collected at the beach. Everything went in the box until it was full. I couldn’t bring myself to throw all of them out but I’d at least pack some of it away and send the rest to goodwill.

  The only thing of Dylan’s I’d keep out was his set of Harry Potter books.

  I held a picture in my hand of him when he was two years old, cradled in Jennah’s arms staring up at the camera, wearing a green hat with monkey ears on it. I’d taken it the day we went on an outing to the Oregon Zoo. It was a long day and he fussed during much of it but we’d seen every animal from the lions and the tigers to elephants and the monkeys. It was perfect.

  There was another picture of him taken two years later when we’d spent the weekend at Coney Island. I remembered the day clearly when Jennah and I took a drive out to Coney Island while were in New York for a week. I placed the photograph to the side and continued packing away more of his clothes, inhaling the musty scent that lingered on the fibers as I did it. I emptied all the drawers.

  I moved around the room and slowly began to peel all the posters from off the wall as carefully as I could. Most of them were Harry Potter and anything to do with Nitrocircus. A huge poster of Travis Pastrana doing his famous double back-flip was taped to the wall over Dylan’s bed. I rolled it up.

  All of Dylan’s miniature cars and Lego designs I packed away also. The shoes in the bottom of his closet, I threw in a trash bag. I stripped the linens from his bed that used to smell like him. Now, they were only covered in dust. Every trace of him was gone. I wiped my tears but I didn’t let it stop me. I knelt and pulled the storage containers out from underneath his bed, which held board games, electronics and more toys and dust...I planned to give them all to good will.

  The last item to go in the box was Dylan’s blue lava lamp. I held it in my hands turning it this way and that and laughed, remembering the day we’d picked it out together.

  I’d always planned to make this bedroom bigger by destroying the wall between it and the next room but I couldn’t bring myself to alter anything in here. This room was Dylan’s sanctuary after a long day at school. The place where we did mock science experiments and read books about the stars and space. This room was the last few pieces of him that I had left of him.

  Leaving the room, I eyed over the sledgehammer that rested against the wall that I planned to use to knock out the wall that should’ve been gone by now. Heading towards the den, I gathered up three of Dylan’s skateboards and rolled two of his pedal bikes out to the front of the kitchen.

  Hopefully, some kid would make good use of them.

  The loud buzz of the pager at my waist, jolted me out of my trance. I checked the number on it and immediately called Dr. Leonard back.

  “Hey, Elijah.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “It’s Melissa. She overdosed tonight. She’s in intensive care but I’m having her moved to our facility in the morning. I thought you should know.”

  Fuck.

  “Okay, yes. I’ll drive out tonight and I should be there in the morning.”

  “Okay.” He said before hanging up.

  Elijah

  “What have you been abusing, Melissa?” I asked giving her a hard stare, while easing down into the small sofa across from her.

  It had been a week since her overdose.

  The question wasn’t a necessary one. I’d only asked to see what she’d say since I had access to her toxicology report. I already knew the answer.

  I met her fierce green eyes that now held an undeniable sadness in them. Her petite frame was dressed in a slouchy sweater and loose pajama pants. Her feet were bare and her dark hair was all over the place. She looked exhausted and she blinked a little too slow each time she spoke.

  “I tried to stop, I did.” She said with trembling hands.

  Lying.

  “It was heroin that I was mixing with some of the medication that you were giving me. “

  Partial admission…omission.

  I gave her a dead look as she explained, certain her stay at this facility would be indefinite at least for now, until she got the help that she needed.

  “I only took it a few times. It wasn’t like I was taking it every day.”

  Rationalizing.

  “It wasn’t that bad.” She added.

  Minimalizing.

  “I’m not addicted or anything.”

  Denial.

  I shifted in my chair, knowing that heroin addiction was a tough nut to crack, especially if an individual was shooting heroin along with dealing with other emotional disorders such as depression.

  “We will come up with a plan Melissa but you’ll need to stay here until you are clean. It is important that you do not leave.”

  She nodded.

  “Your mother will be here in a few days to come and check on you. I think it might be a good idea if she were involved in some of your sessions.”

  Her face lit up. “She said she could never find the time to come and see me.”

  “Are you close?”

  “We used to be. Now, I don’t know. She wasn’t there for me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “A girl needs her mother.” Melissa said with a weak smile and instantly my thoughts shifted to Violet and the non-existent relationship she had with her own.

  I gave her a nod.

  “I’m just surprised she agreed to come here.”

  “Well, you almost died. I’m sure that changes things drastically.”

  She bobbed her head a few times. “Do you have a girlfriend, Dr. Griffon?”

  I looked up from the notepad in my lap. “Yes.” I said slowly.

  She smiled. “I know you have the scar on your face, Dr. Griffon.” She gestured to her own face, dragging her fingers down her cheek and neck with her fingers. “But I still think you’re very handsome. It makes you look kind of rugged and cool. You look like a warrior.” She giggled.

  “Thank you, Melissa.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m not hitting on your or anything. I just thought maybe I’d say that.”
r />   “Okay.” I chuckled.

  “Let’s get back to why we’re here.”

  A few knocks landed on the door and Thomas leaned in. “Griffon.” He said.

  “Thomas.”

  I stood and stepped outside, shutting the door behind me.

  “How are you man?” He asked pulling me in for a hug.

  “I’m good.”

  “We are keeping her under close watch. She also had cocaine in her system.” He informed me, nudging his chin in the direction of the. “She’ll be here for a while.”

  “Yes, I agree.”

  Thomas searched my face before he spoke again. “How are you really man?”

  I laughed. “I’m good. I don’t have anything else to add.”

  He stepped away wearing a huge grin on his face. “Okay, then. I’ll catch up with you before you leave tonight.”

  “Okay.”

  The beep coming from my phone told me I had another message from Violet.

  I missed her like hell but...

  Staring at the neon green numbers on the faceplate as the call came through again, I sent it to voicemail. I’d check it later.

  Right now, I needed to get back to Melissa.

  Violet

  “What the fuck were you thinking, Violet?” Brooke hissed through the phone. “Running out of the hospital! You’re acting like they’ve patched you up for a fucking paper cut and-and-and going to that woman’s house! She could’ve called the cops and had you arrested! Davi said you broke her frickin’ mailbox. And your dad, he’s -he’s freaking out, Violet!”

  I exhaled, preparing to speak.

  “I told you I’d come with you, Violet. You know that was always the plan.”

  Since I was a little girl, I dreamt about going to see my mother. Brooke always promised to come along. I’d always had this thought in my head that I’d go to her house and remind her of who I was and she’d rush outside across the lawn that was lined with purple peonies (I don’t know why the peonies!) and she’d grab me and pull me into a big ridiculous hug.

  Things hadn’t quite gone that way...

  I dabbed my nose with a tissue. “Yeah, well plans change Brooke clearly. I thought we weren’t friends anymore.”

  She sighed. “Violet, you know we’re always friends. We’ll always be friends. We fight and we make up. That’s what we do.”

  “You got married?”

  “Yeah, I did. It wasn’t anything big, Violet. It was only the three of us – Kyle, Jared at the registrar and I but I wanted you there. I did.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too.”

  “And I’m sorry that I’ve been so horrible, Brooke.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I chase people away.” I sniffled.

  “Violet, you don’t. You’re just special is all.”

  “Isn’t that code for asshole? I’m an asshole.”

  “Are you okay? I mean really okay?”

  “I don’t know. Elijah came to see me the day after I had surgery and I haven’t heard from him since.”

  Brooke sighed. “Violet.” She said firmly.

  “What?” I squeaked.

  “Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe you not being able to see was one of the things that brought you and Elijah together?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Violet, life is funny and it can be fucked up sometimes. People can be even more complicated. What was a curse to you might’ve felt like a blessing to Elijah. I’m not saying he isn’t happy for you, Violet because I know in my heart he is but this might be hard for him. I’m sorry.”

  “Maybe you’re right, Brooke but I-don’t-care!”

  “You’re in love.” She announced with a smile in her voice. “I always wanted to see you in love, Vi and I think it’s wonderful.”

  Or fucking sad.

  “I’ll be back in Portland soon and I’ll come to see you. In the meantime, please don’t do anything crazy.” She snapped before hanging up.

  I ended the call and sat holding the cordless phone in my hands, staring at myself in the mirror across the room. Sooner or later I’d get used to this reflection. It wasn’t bad but it would take some getting used to. I stood and paced the bedroom for a moment.

  Letting out a huff, I dialed Elijah’s number again just hoping by some fucking holy miracle he’d answer.

  “Hello, this is Dr. Griffon. I’m sorry I’m not able to answer your call but every single call is important to me. You matter. Please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as I can. In case of an emergency, please page me or try Dr. Thomas Leonard on 1-503-823-4000.

  “If you are thinking of hurting yourself or someone else, please call 911.”

  I hung up without leaving a voicemail, which would’ve been the thirtieth one I’d left by now. I clutched the cordless phone to my chest and plopped back down on the edge of the bed.

  I wiped the tears that soaked my cheeks and stood again, feeling like a fool for crying.

  When did I become this girl? I didn’t cry over men!

  I hadn’t seen or heard from Elijah. Each voicemail I’d left him only sounded more and more desperate.

  Since I’d been out of the hospital, I’d spent most of my time at home, walking around my house, touching and smelling things and taking in the colors. I spent time visiting a few of the museums here. So far, some of the greats like Picasso and Monet were my favorites. Finally, I could see the works and judge for myself instead of believing what the text books said.

  It was the first time I’d ever seen any of my art work. While I could recognize the patterns, I was having more trouble with the colors. I wasn’t sure if they were supposed to be bright or subdued and none of them stood out to me.

  I’d seen Dr. Randall three times in the past two weeks. The surgery had given me nearly eight-seven percent of my sight back. Unfortunately, I had to wear glasses now at certain times and I was color-blind. Dr. Randall, who was a Godsend and a genius panicked but I told him not to worry. I was used to doing everything with no sight at all, so the fact that I couldn’t identify reds and greens properly really was no big deal to me.

  I spent most of my time in the studio blasting music and working on my next collection. I found it difficult to sculpt or do anything unless I shut my eyes, so I always did.

  A whole new world had opened up to me but I was still getting used to it. Everything was nearly perfect, except the one person I wanted to share it with had cut me the fuck off. He’d shut me out of his life with no explanation at all.

  I missed him.

  I missed his touch, his smell. The way his fingers always caressed my skin and his soft lips touched my lips right before we fell off to sleep nights.

  The longer I waited for him to call or show up, the more pissed off I became.

  I’d asked Davi to drive me out to Cannon Beach twice already and each time I went to Elijah’s house, he wasn’t there. So, I spent time on the beach there sometimes enjoying the spectacular sunsets that lit the sky up behind Haystack Rock until it was time to go. It truly was incredible and sunsets and sunrises were definitely not to be missed.

  I needed him. I loved him and he’d abandoned me.

  I sat on the edge of my bed and clicked the stereo on and sank into the beautiful voice of Banks singing To The Hilt.

  This was why I didn’t do love. It only ended in someone getting mind-fucked and right now it felt like that was me.

  What the fuck was going on!

  Violet

  A few days later, I had Davi drive me out to Cannon Beach. It was freezing but the place was as beautiful as always. Pulling up next to the house, I asked Davi nicely to wait. Stepping out, I sucked in the salty air and felt the wind as it rushed through my hair.

  I headed down the driveway to find a beautiful classic truck parked there. As I neared, I spotted a man whose head was buried in the hood. The sound of my shoes against the gravel caused him to straighten.

&nbs
p; “Violet.” He said while his blue eyes went wide, allowing me to see how remarkable they were.

  “Yes.” I bounced in place, attempting to shake off the cold.

  Asher smiled which was quickly followed by a frown. “I’m sorry. He isn’t here.”

  I nodded and chewed on my lip.

  “Where is he?”

  “I think he’s gone up to Dallas for a while. He and Dr. Leonard have a private facility there for patients that need to be treated long-term.”

  “Oh.”

  Asher exhaled and with a slam, the hood of the truck came down. He approached me slowly, running a hand through his inky black strands quickly redoing his man-bun. He was tall and covered in tattoos from his neck down to his hands that were covered in motor oil.

  “You’re not doing so well, huh?”

  “No.” I squeaked, shaking my head vigorously and trying my very best not to cry.

  “Fuck.” He muttered.

  “Has he broken up with me?”

  Asher’s face twisted up in a sympathetic look. He sucked his teeth and stared up at the clear sky above us, while wiping his hands on a rag.

  “I love my brother, Violet. I do. But sometimes he can be a bit weird.” He laughed, placing a hand on my shoulder. “He loves you though.”

  I buried my wet face into the thick sweater he’s wearing when he pulls me into a hug.

  “I kind of knew this would happen, him disappearing and all. One thing you’ll learn about Elijah is that he always thinks he knows everything. He thinks he can handle everything and he really can’t. Soon, he’ll see that.”

  His hands ran over my back a few times in a soothing gesture while I sobbed against him, not caring if my clothes ended up stained from his greasy hands.

  “He’ll come around. I promise you.”

  I nodded, backing away from him, slightly embarrassed that I was a teary-eyed, broken-hearted mess. I headed back down the driveway.

  “I’ll talk to him, Violet but if you come here again just remember the flowerpot.” He called out.